The only thing that makes being hung-over worth it, Yoichi thinks as he gets out of the shower, is how good everything feels while recovering. Food, showers, his clothes retrieved from Agon's bottom dresser drawer where they were hidden four years ago because Agon never cleans—just little things he doesn't usually notice. He dries his hair with the towel that is clearly Agon's and snickers vindictively to himself. It's very easy, in the Kongo household, to figure out which item belongs to which family member. If it's disgustingly expensive and fashionable, it's Agon's. If it's worn and just functional enough to work, it's Unsui's, his way of apologizing for Agon. If it's pretty but off brand, it's their mother's. In any case, Yoichi finds he is extraordinarily petty when it comes to the fucking dreads, because Agon is regrettably full of himself and if Yoichi doesn't knock him down one or twelve pegs, well, no one else is even willing to try.
He walks into the kitchen feeling almost normal, and hungrier than he has been in a while. Unsui is at the stove managing as many pots and pans as he can fit onto the burners. Yoichi sees what looks like an omelet, vegetables, and what could be bacon, but could just as possibly be human flesh. He couldn't say with too much confidence given how intensely focused Unsui is. Unsui notices him suddenly and the slightest frown appears on his face.
"You know where the dining room is, I assume?" Unsui asks, and Yoichi nods back smoothly. After all, Unsui is cooking what he's going to be (hopefully) eating shortly, he's not about to anger the teen. "Lunch is almost ready. I trust you can avoid killing Agon for the duration of the meal, if he even shows up?" Unsui questions, but he turns away after Yoichi cackles, shaking his head and muttering darkly to himself, so Yoichi doesn't feel the need to verbalize his answer. Instead he walks to the dining room, which is just as he remembers it.
One functional and debatably attractive oak table with one giant scratch courtesy of Agon marring its surface. Six mismatched oak chairs, the smallest of which is probably more accurately classified as a stool. And Sena, with his head cushioned on his arms, dozing in the smallest chair. He's positioned just to the left of the head of the table, as far from the door as he can get. Yoichi goes over and pokes him, just to see what will happen. Sena mumbles something nonsensical and rubs the offended cheek against his shoulder, like he can brush off the touch, but otherwise doesn't react. Yoichi clicks his tongue, disappointed, and sits down on Sena's right, making sure to snag the largest chair and prop his feet up on the chair directly across from him. It would seem a little petty to Yoichi in any other situation, but when it comes to the fucking dreads, it is impossible to go too far.
Yoichi periodically pokes Sena, partly to see if his response will change, and partly out of boredom, but Sena almost always does the same mumble, cheek rub routine. Except for once, when Yoichi patted his cheek instead and Sena nuzzled against his hand like some kind of cat. Yoichi laughed so loud, he thought Sena would wake up or Unsui would stomp into the room to throw a spatula at him, but neither happened. Mostly, however, Yoichi uses the time to think. He comes to the conclusion that he cannot remember the majority of the bars he went to last night, and he also has no idea where he last had his blackmail book. The first problem can likely be solved by manipulating Sena into asking Agon if he knew where they had gone, but the second… Yoichi scowls to himself. He's probably going to have to go to every single bar and scour it from top to bottom. Which could take a very long time given the heightened alcohol tolerance Yoichi mysteriously gains around Agon.
After Yoichi has spent approximates thirty minutes musing, Agon storms through the door, looking ready to throw down. Just to be contrary, Yoichi puts his finger to his lips, grins like a demon and motions towards Sena. Then he kicks the chair he'd been resting his feet on out from the table. Agon's eyes narrow, but after glancing back towards where Unsui is still cooking lunch he takes the seat with remarkably terrible grace. Yoichi cackles quietly and Agon tries his hardest to break Yoichi's leg in half by kicking it with his foot. He stops after he hits the chair leg instead, resulting in a fatal sounding crack, and returns to his fuming. Yoichi laughs even louder until Sena starts murmuring. Judging by Agon's reaction, he'd been told not to wake Sena, so Yoichi figures he'd best not disturb Sena too much either.
Yoichi and Agon remain at a stand-still, with Agon occasionally lashing out, but never too close to Sena and never violently enough to wake him up. Yoichi always dodges though, he may have willingly forgotten a lot about their partnership, but the ability to dodge was not something he thought it smart to forget. So by the time Unsui enters with the first few platters of food they've settled into a glaring match, because Agon's default emotion is fury and Yoichi is bored out of his mind. Unsui clicks his tongue in disapproval, but lays the plates of food on the table without a word. Agon reaches for one, the bacon Yoichi notices, amused, only to have Unsui slap his hand back. Agon snarls and glares daggers at his brother, but Unsui remains unmoved. Yoichi is starting to regret never speaking to the teen until today.
"Please wait for the rest of the food Agon." Unsui says, but it's really more of a command, and Yoichi finds himself very impressed. Agon scowls fiercely, but he slumps back against his chair and directs his gaze angrily away from the food. Yoichi would say it was cute that Agon thought he could act like this was his idea when he was clearly bending to the will of the brother he had proclaimed lesser time and again, but, well, Agon. The fucking dreads was many things, but cute was not ever one of them, puerile, maybe, infuriating and much too violent, but not cute.
"Oh, did you need help carrying that in?" Sena yawns, sitting up and rubbing at one of his eyes. Speaking of cute. It'd figure when someone needed help the shorty would wake up. Yoichi blinks twice and reexamines his previous thoughts. He was so sure he'd reached the hangover portion of the day. Clearly the effects of drinking were lingering longer than Yoichi calculated. Unsui blinks politely, and smiles at the running back.
"No, thank you, Sena. You can go back to sleep, I'll make sure something remains, if you'd like." Unsui offers gently. Agon's eyes snap immediately to his brother, suspicion clear, but Unsui remains smiling softly at Sena. Yoichi feels his own eyebrows raise, wasn't that interesting. If only he knew where his book was… But then again, he had a good enough memory and years of hanging around Unsui's house, he hardly needed more blackmail.
"I'm okay, really! Sorry for sleeping so long." Sena says, looking more like an eager puppy than any human really has the right to. Unsui nods and walks back out of the room. This leaves, for the record, one devious blackmailer without his blackmail, one certifiable, easily angered genius, and an actual child all in the same room. Yoichi wonders exactly how Unsui thought this could end without at least one death. Sena fidgets in his chair, surprisingly not with the nerves Yoichi expected, but stretching and yawning, clearly fighting off the lingering desire to sleep. Agon, upon inspection, is staring at Sena harder than is acceptable by the standards of society, but then Yoichi has yet to see Agon do anything that even acknowledges acceptable is a standard that he should be held to. Still, Yoichi takes note; this isn't the normal death stare Agon levels at everything. It's different in a way Yoichi can't pin down, which infuriates him.
When Agon registers Yoichi's stares—which takes much longer than he expected, Yoichi notes with dawning glee—he kicks out as hard as he can. Yoichi just barely manages to jump out of his chair in time to watch it fly back and hit the wall with a resounding thud. He cackles at the pure fury on Agon's face and they both ignore Sena's terrified whimpers. All is once again right with the world, Yoichi thinks smugly. But all too soon Unsui sweeps back into the room, holding three more trays and full of righteous anger. He gently places the food onto the table before striding over and smacking his brother on the back of his bead.
"I can't leave you alone for five minutes without you breaking something." Unsui states calmly, and Yoichi is very impressed, the statement somehow sounds so much worse calm than it would if it had been yelled in anger. "If you must snap a leg," Unsui continues, smiling blandly, "please make it Hiruma's rather than our furniture's." He drags the chair from the wall back over to the table and clicks his tongue, pointing out the leg that is just barely holding on. "And please do it outside to reduce the collateral." Unsui finishes politely. Yoichi would like to be offended, but really he is too delighted to even consider it. He flops into the chair on Sena's other side, at the head of the table where he belongs, and leans back to enjoy the show. Agon scowls at him like he can sense Yoichi's thoughts. Yoichi grins widely back. Then Unsui claps briskly to redirect their attention back to him. "Before you cause this situation to denigrate any further, let's eat." He says, and his voice is beginning to strain. He sits directly in between Yoichi and Agon, which is cute, but would not be at all effective if either teen decided to attempt to murder the other. Yoichi notices, amusedly, that Unsui has left the poor, abused chair directly across from Agon where it can stare accusingly at him for the duration of this meal. Agon, of course, does not seem to be bothered by this at all and has already started tearing into the bacon platter.
"Thank you for the food." Sena says quietly, mostly to himself as he watches Agon devour what must have been a full pig once in horror and fascination. Yoichi takes a moment to pity Sena before grabbing the closest platter defensively. Yoichi has eaten enough here in the past to understand how mealtimes work with hung-over Agon. If he can get his hands on it, there will be none left.
"Let's eat." Yoichi says in response, as he looks at the platter. His reflexes have clearly remained intact, he is pleased to note, and he begins to shovel the sausage links onto his plate. He narrows his eyes as he sees Agon start ripping into the hash browns. When Unsui can be persuaded into making Western breakfasts his hash browns are worth killing for and Yoichi has a serious moment in which he considers doing exactly that before Unsui clears his throat softly. He narrows his eyes as Yoichi turns to look at him, so Yoichi grudgingly sets that idea to the side. Sena is still staring blindly at the massacre Agon is making of the table, and Yoichi shakes his head again. He yanks the crepe platter out of the way just before Agon lunges for it and shoves it at Sena, who blinks in surprise. Yoichi glares at him until he jerkily lowers his head, murmuring his thanks, and begins to eat. Yoichi is not about to have a record awful football season because his running back has been turned off food forever due to Agon's eating habits. Speaking of which, Yoichi hears Unsui gag slightly next to him and he turns to face Agon, who has found the pancakes and is tearing them apart with his teeth like a wild animal. Yoichi cackles.
The only sounds for the next thirty minutes are Yoichi laughing intermittently, Unsui's brief and occasional sounds of disgust, Agon chewing louder than should be humanly possible, and Sena's soul slowly being broken every time he chances a look away from his plate, which Yoichi tosses something onto every time Unsui prods him with his fork. Yoichi really is beginning to appreciate Unsui. Eventually though, only the carcasses of Unsui's hard work remains, and Agon leans back in his seat, letting out a truly horrendous burp. Sena winces further into himself, resembling a small, terrified turtle by this point, and Yoichi once again is unable to help cackling. Unsui decisively lowers his utensils to his plate with a click and clears his throat.
"Sena," he begins softly, "would you like to share what your mother had to say to you?" Unsui asks, and though his voice is soothing there is a firmness to it that has Yoichi perking up in his seat. Sena flinches again, almost falling off his chair. "Sena." Unsui repeats, with a little more force. Sena mumbles something into his shirt, clears his throat, opens his mouth, closes it, and gently lowers his head to the table. Yoichi is intrigued beyond measure by this point, and so he leans in closer to Sena. Sena, predictably, shrieks a little and jumps out of his chair.
"Okay." He yells, arms defensively held in front of his chest and body angled away from Yoichi. "Okay." Sena repeats taking in a deep breath. He lowers his arms and straightens, letting out the previous breath before gulping nervously. "My mom wanted to tell me she got a text from me last night. I'd attached a picture of the—" Sena gulps in another breath, eyes darting uncomfortably between the occupants of the breakfast table, "of the marriage license." He finishes weakly. Agon raises his eyebrows at Unsui, who oddly enough holds up a hand. Yoichi's curiosity rises yet again.
"Why should I care who the trash you married is?" Agon finally asks when it becomes clear Sena is not going to proceed without some sort of prodding. Sena whimpers a little, and Yoichi starts to grin. He's almost entirely sure he can see where this is going and he will never stop laughing. Agon growls angrily and starts to stand up, but Sena puts both hands out.
"Your name was on the marriage license." He blurts, almost too fast to be comprehensible. Almost. Agon is still and silent for exactly one second before he finishes standing so fast that his chair clatters sideways on the floor.
"What." He states, entirely too calm. Sena's shaking multiplies tenfold and anything he may try to say is lost in his stuttering. Yoichi loses himself to his laughing. This is better than anything he expected today, he may, indeed, never stop laughing.
"I wouldn't laugh just yet if I were you Hiruma." Unsui says calmly. Yoichi slowly stops cackling and raises his eyebrow before turning to face Sena. Sena takes yet another calming breath and glances nervously at Agon, who appears to have frozen in fury.
"Your name was also on the marriage license." Sena whimpers and Yoichi feels an odd camaraderie with Agon for the first time, as he too freezes in place.
Good Gracious, that sure did happen. Sorry it took so long to upload this. If you keep up with any of my other stories I really am trying to update. I'm just incredibly lazy and had a very stressful summer. But that's all done with! So, I hope you all enjoyed and as always, please feel free the feed the author with reviews. You are all lovely, have a great day.