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Ch. 2

Preoccupazione e affetto

Henrietta stared down at the floor and slouched a bit in her chair, lamenting how little sleep she got last night. Eventually she mustered enough strength to look at the man sitting across from her.

"Now Henrietta, do you remember the second time Jose took you to Sicily?" He asked, sounding friendly without being obnoxious or condescending.

"Of course Dr. Bianchi." She said with a shy smile. "Rico and Jean were there too, we played on the beach."

"Very good Henrietta." Bianchi replied with a smile. "How about the meteor shower?" Henrietta closed her eyes as she fondly remembered that night.

"Rico, Triela, Claes, and I all went to the training grounds to watch it; Jose said it would have been difficult to see the meteor shower from the compound because of the light pollution from Rome. We all sang Beethoven's 9th as we watched." Her smile faded and her eyes opened half way. "Angelica was in the infirmary though, so she couldn't go. But at least Marco was with her!"

"Yes he was." The doctor agreed as he nodded. "Due in no small part to your words, if I recall correctly." Henrietta's smiled returned as she recalled the talk she had with Marco, at first she thought her pleas fell on deaf ears, but Marco ended up visiting Angelica during the meteor shower. Dr. Bianchi pulled out a pen and notebook as he shifted in his seat.

"Now since that's out of the way, on to why you're here." He said, making the cyborg's smile vanish. "Jose tells me you had a really scary dream last night." Henrietta's gaze drifted downward and she remained silent for a few seconds, the nightmare still fresh in her delicate mind. Eventually she nodded.

"Care to tell me what happened in it?" Bianchi asked. Henrietta tensed up, her head remained lowered but her gaze met his again.

"Didn't Jose already tell you?" The cyborg asked timidly.

"He did, but I'd like to hear it from you." The doctor answered. Henrietta's gaze returned to the floor, after a few seconds of silence her eyes narrowed and she hugged herself, slightly trembling.

"I don't want to…." She whimpered quietly. Dr. Bianchi's smile left him, pushing her wasn't going to solve anything.

"It's okay, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He reassured her. "However, I still need to ask you a few questions about it." The little cyborg stopped trembling and let her hands rest in her lap, obviously wanting to leave. "Let's start with the people at the party, who were they?"

"I don't know." Henrietta replied, fidgeting with her hands. "They were very nice to me, it was as if they knew me for a very long time. I think…." She paused and looked at the door behind her, remembering that Jose was waiting right outside. Then she turned back to Dr. Bianchi and lowered her voice.

"I think I loved them like I do Jose." She whispered. "I don't know why though, I've never met them."

"I see." The doctor replied as he took notes. "Now what about the tall men who broke in, do you know them?" Henrietta's eyes widened as horrific images flashed in her mind; an axe, her own severed arm twitching across the room, immeasurable agony, screaming and begging, and complete hopelessness. She started shaking and whimpering as her eyes grew moist.

"Doctor, I want to go!" Henrietta whined desperately. "I want to see Jose!" Bianchi quickly pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and rushed over to his patient, kneeling in front of her.

"Hey, it's okay." He said softly as he wiped her tears away with the handkerchief. With a sniff, Henrietta looked back at the doctor.

"I've had dreams before." She explained as she attempted to calm down. "Why do I remember this one so clearly? Why does it bother me so much?" Bianchi already knew the answer, but telling her now would be a disaster.

"Well it is a pretty gruesome dream, anyone would be disturbed by it." He answered.

"But I'm used to seeing people die, what makes this so scary?" Henrietta demanded to know.

"There are lots of scary things in the world, Henrietta." Bianchi explained. "But more often than not it's what we invent in our minds that scare us the most, it dates back to when we hid in caves hoping predators wouldn't find us at night. When faced with an unknown, we scare ourselves."

Still not fully understanding, Henrietta gave up; it was probably the best answer she could hope for.

"Okay." She replied, finally calmed down.

"Good." The doctor said with a smile. "Now would you go get Jose please? I'd like to speak with him."

"Yes sir."

Jose leaned against the wall outside Dr. Bianchi's office, too restless to take one of the seats nearby. He could have really gone for a smoke, considering the situation, but he quit for Henrietta. Speaking of whom, the brunette cyborg finally exited the office, looking a little dejected.

"How'd it go?" Jose asked. Henrietta looked up at him with a frown.

"Okay I guess, but it still scares me." She answered timidly, "He wants to talk with you now."

"Alright then." He replied with a sigh. "It's almost lunch now so go and get something to eat, we have training this afternoon." The cyborg looked down the hall and started fidgeting with her hands again, then she looked back at her handler.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"I got scared, I wanted to see you." Henrietta explained with a slightly shaky voice. The desperation in her voice was gut wrenching to Jose, but he managed to put on a smile for her. He knelt down so he was at eye level with his little charge.

"You're awake now, it can't hurt you." Jose reassured her. "Once you get your lunch, go find Rico and the others; I'm sure talking with them will make you feel better. I promise we'll talk later, okay?" Henrietta looked down for a few seconds, briefly mulling over his words, then she looked back at him with a weak smile.

"Okay." The cyborg answered quietly. Jose gave her an affectionate pat on the head and stood up before letting her make her way down the hallway, she paused briefly to look back him, but then continued on her way. Left alone, Jose let out a long sigh before entering Bianchi's office; afraid of what the doctor had to say. Once inside, he was greeted by the sight of Bianchi himself looking at his notebook.

"So, did she answer all your questions correctly?" Jose asked.

"Indeed she did. Her memory is as sharp as a tack, comparatively," The doctor replied with a sigh. "I honestly don't know why you have me ask her those every time she sees me; with how little you've conditioned her, she's got quite a long time to go before she starts deteriorating."

"Never hurts to be sure, Doctor." The handler said.

"If you say so." Bianchi relented. "However, I am concerned about this nightmare of hers; it sounds awfully familiar."

"I thought so." Jose agreed with a lump in his throat. Before Henrietta was a cyborg, she had a loving family and a normal life. But one day this family was attacked during her birthday party, one by one each family member was hacked to pieces with an axe right in front of her, then she was mutilated and sexually assaulted, losing an arm and a leg in the process. She was taken to the hospital and treated, but had become suicidal, eventually she was turned over to the Social Welfare Agency, brainwashed, and made in to a cybernetic assassin as part of a government anti-terrorism unit.

"How does she remember it though?" Jose asked. "She had her memory wiped during her conditioning!"

"The conditioning only suppresses their memories, it doesn't actually erase them," Dr. Bianchi explained. "Perhaps since you don't condition her much, her initial memory wipe is starting to wear off."

"Great." Jose growled. It looked like his desire to show her a life outside of killing bad guys was starting to backfire.

"Fortunately, is seems as though Henrietta still doesn't remember everything; she doesn't recognize her family." Bianchi pointed out.

"What am I doing in her dream though?" Jose asked.

"That could be anything; security blanket, skewed association, I can't say at this point." The doctor answered as he put away his notebook. "What are you going to do?" Jose looked down, only one solution came to mind and he didn't want to use it, there had to be another way.

"For now, I'm going to keep making sure she thinks of it as a bad dream and nothing more." The handler explained with noticeable anxiety. "But if this doesn't go away…." He trailed off, not knowing what to say. Dr. Bianchi sat at his desk and clasped his hands together.

"You've taken care of her needs so far." He said. "I'm sure you'll think of something, but if she does remember and gets out of hand, I recommend you consider increasing her conditioning." Jose clenched his fists; he just had to bring that up.

"I…I don't want it to come to that." He murmured.

"All I said was consider it, ultimately it's your call." Bianchi reiterated. Jose nodded and turned to leave, as he opened the door Dr. Bianchi stopped him.

"You know if this doesn't go well, Jean won't let you hear the end of it." He said.

"I know." Jose replied before shutting the door behind him.

Henrietta carried her tray as she wandered through the cafeteria, struggling to keep her eyes open. As she looked around she noticed Rico sitting across from Triela and Claes at one of the tables, Rico noticed her and beckoned her over with one of her big plucky smiles. Henrietta walked over as she returned Rico's smile with a small one of her own, and took a seat next to her.

"Hi Henrietta!" Rico greeted enthusiastically. "Do you feel better after last night?"

"I do, thank you." She answered tiredly, wanting to eat.

"Are you sure?" asked Triela, who sitting across from her. "You look kind of beat."

"I'm just tired, I didn't get much sleep." Henrietta replied. Her eyes widened as she remembered something. "Wait, is Angelica okay?"

"The doctors were able to fix her arm." Claes answered after taking a bite of her lunch. "But she fainted again, so she's being kept in the infirmary until they evaluate her memory." She noticed Henrietta's gaze lower, making her sigh. "It's not your fault she fainted, Henrietta, I did say they repaired her arm."

"Even then, you didn't mean to break her arm." Rico added. "You were upset."

"I bet Marco told Director Lorenzo what happened though." Henrietta replied sadly. "So Jose is going to get in trouble."

"Hey, it turned out alright in the end." Triela chimed in. "But if there's anything to worry about, it's your nightmare. What happened in it to make you freak out like that?" Henrietta tensed up again, wishing that people would stop asking about it.

"I don't want to talk about it." She murmured.

"Oh, sorry." Triela replied. There was an awkward silence after that, everyone tried focusing on their meals in order to suppress it. Wanting the weirdness to end, Henrietta raised her head and broke the silence.

"Um, Triela?" She inquired, making Triela look at her. Since her mouth was full, she could only reply with a muffled "hm?"

"Thank you for getting Jose while I was crying." Henrietta stated shyly. The senior cyborg swallowed so she could properly reply to her younger friend.

"Actually it was Claes's idea to get Jose." She corrected, prompting Henrietta to look at the aforementioned cyborg.

"Considering how close you are with him, I thought he'd have the best chance of snapping you out of it." Claes said while adjusting her glasses, making Henrietta smile, which was all the thanks she needed.

"Close, huh?" Triela said with a smirk. "That sure is a polite way of saying she's head over heels for him!" Henrietta looked away without a response, though her smile remained. Triela's smirk turned in to a cheeky grin; no response also meant no denial.

"Well, whatever it is, you're very lucky to have him as your handler!" Rico proclaimed with a big smile and a pat on Henrietta's back. "He thinks the world of you!"

"Yeah." Was all Henrietta could reply with as she felt heat rush to her cheeks. It was no secret that she felt a great deal of affection for Jose. Of course part of it was due to her conditioning, but her feelings for him grew more intense from how kind he was to her. She use to brush it off as selfishness, but Henrietta was in love.

Her nightmare left her mind completely engulfed in hopelessness, she didn't want anything to do with reality. Then Jose pulled her out, reminded her that there were people who cared about her, people she cared about.

As long as Jose was around, Henrietta was going to be okay.