I woke up to someone shouting, "GOD DAMN IT PRIVATE"
'Must be the Sargent' I thought as I got up. 'Oops forgot to take off my equipment,' I took off my helmet and looked around the room to see, weirdly enough, a guy with neat Golden blond hair, childish face, and pink armor sitting next to him. He was putting lotion on his legs and...
"OH GOD, PUT SOME PANTS ON!" I screamed at the man, I as shielded my eyes from the monstrosity I was viewing dropping my helmet.
"What the fuck happe- OH GOD DONUT!" yelled Simmons as he walked in fully armored and had the same reaction.
"What? I am just putting on some Lotion to help my skin, and make me softer," he said in a feminine male voice while it sounded like he squirted something out of a bottle.
"God damn it, donut," Simmons replied clenching the hand on his helmet.
"Did he really say that?" I asked the maroon solider.
"Yep, you get used to it," he groaned with a large amount a disgust in his voice. "Anyway, your guard duty is in an hour so I suggest you grab something to eat."
"Wait, how long was I out?" I asked out of curiosity.
"Around five hours," He answered as he left.
'might as well get some grub,' I thought as I grabbed my helmet and as I exited the room, Donut Being long dressed by now, and headed to a mess hall.
[_]
I walk into the mess hall to hear the sound of food being gobbled down at a overly fast rate. I walk in to see Grif doing the previously said at an even faster rate that expected.
"What the fuck Grif," I ask with total shock and confusion in my voice. "This does not seem physically possible."
"What have you never seen a starving person," he mumble more than said through mouthfuls of food. "I always eat this way."
I was too shocked to speak, he was eating so fast while breathing, and talking, wait was that half of the available rations.
"How are you even alive right now, the amount of food you just ate," I was just trying to understand the mindfuck in front of me and then I gave up. "You know what fuck it I give up this is impossible to understand." I grabbed a meal of steak, mashed potatoes, and Broccoli and sat down on a bench and ate, ignoring the clusterfuck behind me.
When I was done eating my meal I put on my helmet and moved to the outside of the base for some combat practice with one of the other soldiers. The problem was, "What do you mean you don't spare regularly?" I asked Simmons out of shock.
"No one here has hand to hand training," he responded, clearly nervous.
"How? the sargent carries a shotgun," I was even more shocked at the stupidity here. "What if he drops it in combat? How do you and Donut Do CQC in combat? and who do you even fight to survive for six god damn months?" A sniper shot then goes sailing by my head hitting the ground to my left.
"Son of a bitch," Simmons and I yell in stereo as we ran towards cover, which happened to be the base 10 feet behind us. The enemy started shooting sloppily aimed shots with an assault and sniper rifle. As we made it into the base we heard one say something.
"Nice shot, Best Friend Church," said a childish voice from the direction of the now stopped gunfire.
"No it wasn't," said another voice Flatly, Probably church. "And we are not friends."
"Shut up, Caboose," Said a third voice who was clearly annoyed. Then I heard music and a car engine, then a car comes rushing around the base.
"Get on Simmons," yelled the Sargent from the side seat of the car. I look at the driver to see a brown armored solider driving the car.
"On it Sir," yelled Simmons as the car slowed down in front of us. He hopped on and aimed the turret at the Soldiers behind us. I look at the soldiers who are now taking cover behind the rock.
"Oh fuck," yelled a Cyan, or is it aqua, maybe Mint green, Solider who was the third voice from earlier and was holding a assault rifle. Simmons starts randomly firing at the rock causing them to drop their heads down.
"Suck It Blue," yelled Simmons drawing out his words and voice vibrating from the gun.
"If you know what is good for you, you will surrender," Yelled the Sargent.
"Not a chance red," a cobalt helmet popped up with those words which almost immediately ducking back down from the gun. 'Sounded like the second voice from earlier, Church was it?'
"Permission to flank the enemy, Sir," I asked the Sargent who was observing the battle.
"Permission granted," he said. "Lopez move up," the driver mumbled something and drove off. I decided to go into the main part of the gulch and move behind them. I see them taking cover behind the rock and I see Three soldiers taking cover behind a rock, the Cyan one, a blue one, and church. 'blue one must be Caboose,' I thought with mild amusement. 'Anyways church seems to be the leader,' I took aim on his head, "say goodnight" I said aloud. I fired but missed as something hit me in the side causing me to drop my rifle.
"I don't think so," said a warped voice. I get up, brushing off the injury, and looked at my opponent, Which was a female black armored figured.
"Why don't you take off the voice filter, Ma'am," I said emphasizing the last word. I heard a click and she spoke.
"Wow how perceptive of you to notice that at a first glance, But you have no Idea how much trouble you are in," she finished with Bloodlust in her voice.
"Oh I have a pretty good Idea," I said getting into a combat stance, she doing the same.
We both started to circle each other glaring at each other the whole time, as soon as we did a half rotation we rushed at each other with inhuman speed and stuck each others fist with enough force to shatter most people arms. We stuck at each other most hits being blocked but a few getting through hitting hard. She eventually did a round house kick knocking me back, I was about to charge but our fight was interrupted by the blue three idiots running away from the base with our car firing at them she used this distraction to knock we out with a punch that, by most standards, was so hard it did not seem physically possible. I heard the sound of a pair of footsteps retreating and a car engine coming closer as I faded into darkness.