Walking away that day broke me. It also showed me that to survive this new apocalypse I was going have to grow some thicker skin. I couldn't let the events from my past affect me as a person now. And so I grew some thick skin and although after witnessing the death and rebirth of my mother I decided to trust some people who were good people very good people they took care of each other and everyone else as if we were family that is until they all got eaten by walkers.

And from then on from time to time of being alone if I found a group I would stay but eventually the same thing would happen everyone would die either by sickness or by being bit. So then I would have to leave I would leave and by this point I stopped feeling guilty about everything.

I was so unattached to the new world and people well that is until I met Garett we met in the woods he was having trouble killing a walker that was about to take a chunk out of his neck before I saw and threw my knife at the walker hitting him in the back of the head.

After that even though I was kind of skeptical of another person I agreed to let him travel with me and well as cliché as it sounds we...well fell in love and it was awesome to have another person with me to have a companionship and well then a relationship with someone. I felt elated to have him with me that is until the funeral home that we had stocked got overrun one day and then we couldn't stay there any longer. That was when he got bit we were fighting our way through a horde of walkers and he was to fixed on checking if I was okay that he didn't notice the walker sneak up from behind him.

He got bit and I couldn't believe it I had found happiness in this fucked up new world and it was already being taken from me. The rage I felt in those moments gave me the strength that I needed to kill the remaining walkers from the horde. He looked at me with a weak smile and said "I always knew you would outlive me I just didn't think it would be this quick that I die"

"Don't say that please" I said as the tears streamed down my face.

He chuckled and said to me " I love you London, promise me that that you'll try to find happiness again even in this fucked up world, promise me that you will try to find love again"

As I looked at him in those moments I could see he didn't much time left in this world and I wanted to make this last few moments count and so I did I kissed him with all the love that I felt for him and when I pulled away from the kiss he had died but he died with a smile on his face.

It had been rough since then I was safe but alone and I missed Garett. I was in a barn like area now by myself it seemed secure enough but these days I didn't feel good I always had back pain but then again I was working hard to fortify this place for myself. I was nauseous 90 % of the time I was hurling up the food I had managed to either hunt or find it was just tiresome.

Then one day in the safety of my barn I heard a ruckus and looked outside to see a gaggle of men surrounding the areas of my living space and inspecting it. I stayed inside but looked at the men eyeing them they seemed dangerous and not good people at all. I had been staring outside so intently that I didn't notice that someone had made there way inside and had made there way towards me and now had a knife up against my throat.

"Well just look at you, boss is going to like you but I think I might want a taste first" the man said in a wheezy voice to me and with his other hand lifted my shirt and started caressing my stomach and then started towards my jeans trying to stuff his hand in my pants.

"You're boss isn't going to get to find out" I rasped out and stepped on his foot then hit his stomach and punched him in the temple knocking him out cold.

I knew then that the men outside would soon come to look for the man that had tried to sexually assault me. I knew I had to be smart about my escape and so I waited for them to approach the house and hid under the loose floorboards that the house had. Then I waited.

After what seemed like an eternity the group of men that were searching came inside and saw there man down they rushed in and started calling something out they started examining there fallen comrades face checking to see if he was bit but he obviously wasn't.

I saw from my hiding place a man come in and was surprised to see one the most handsome men I have ever seen in my life. He had a salt and pepper beard and wore black jeans paired with combat boots a black leather jacket with a white t shirt underneath that was slightly being covered by a red scarf and up on his shoulders stood a barb wired bat stained with blood and bits of flesh.

The man also wore a wicked smirk on his handsome face he had a nice chiseled jaw and well to be honest looked like he had been sculpted by gods. I couldn't help but gawk. And then I watched as he approached the passed out man and yelled out to someone named Simon to bring him some water and I watched the burly man who I am guessing was Simon handed the handsome man a cantine of what I imagined was water to the handsome man who then threw it on the passed out man who yelled in shock and then seeing the handsome man got up and off the floor at top speed.

"Well then nice to see you weren't taking a nap" the handsome man said

"I promise I wasn't sir" the man slightly stuttered

"Well then would you please explain to me what on earth you were doing on the floor boy like an asshole"

"Well sir you see when I came into this this house there um... was a girl staring at our men outside and when she sensed my presence she...uh well attacked me" said the man stuttering nervously at the handsome man

"What do you mean there was a girl and she attacked you and let her well she must be a real badass then" said the handsome man laughing and smirking at the man

"She was sir, she had combat skills by how she moved" the man said trying to explain how he had been knocked out by me which only made me grin even more.

"Well Chris what this just proves to me is that you my good sir, are a pussy and one weak son of a bitch and well now I can't be going around having weak ass men, so what this means for you my boy is until you prove yourself again you are going back to the point system" he said and then walked away from the man.

Yikes handsome man sounded harsh and you could tell he was the leader.

"And all of you were not leaving until every fucking nook and cranny has been checked I wanna know who was here and I wanna know now" said the handsome man

"Yes Negan sir" everyone in the room said

Oh so his name was Negan what the fuck kind of name is that.

I chuckled to myself and then realized my mistake I hadn't laughed to myself I had laughed out loud and and I slapped my hand over my mouth and looked around and up in horror of getting caught but no one had noticed.

That was fucking close.