Part 5: (2 days later)

We never had a day go by we were sober,

Sitting in a cold room wide awake,

And now I gotta say goodbye to the sofa,

See I gotta go, can't hide away.

I woke up and looked around. I was in my living room, on the sofa, and the boys were spread around me. I tried to stand up too fast and was knocked back by a searing pain in my head. I stood up slowly, and stretched, picking up the crutches beside me and looking around. Jay was sprawled across the sofa I'd just stood up from, in a shirt and tie, half the buttons undone, the tie hanging loose, halfway down his chest. Tom was sprawled over my floor with trousers on and no shirt, I tutted quietly, typical Tom, shirtless. Nathan and Siva were both stretched over chairs, snoring gently with shirts undone. Max was right by my feet, his shirt partly undone, his bowtie undone around his neck; his trousers however, were currently non-existent.

I took my weight off my bad leg, I'd dislocated my hip from the fall off the bed the other day, but I'd still decided to go out with the boys to that party last night. They all escorted me in their limo, I'd been wearing a beautiful, purple dress that Michelle, Kelsey and Nareesha had picked out for me, they'd all been busy and unable to come. They said I'd looked stunning, and Kels had dyed a purple streak in my currently black hair, through the fringe. Chelle had lent me her black stilettos with a purple bow on them, I'd hardly been able to walk in them, but with crutches and Jay to lean on, and catch me if I fell, I'd been fine.

I tried to move quietly towards the kitchen, the click of the crutches drilling in to my brain, I pushed the door shut behind me and leant the crutches on to the side. I started hobbling round the kitchen, flicking on the kettle and getting some bread out the bread bin to stick in the toaster. I creaked open the cupboard door, at the same time the kitchen door creaked open, so I didn't hear it. I could see the Aspirin in the cupboard but I couldn't reach it, even stretching. I groaned, leaning all my weight on the counter before stretching upright and trying to knock them out with my finger tips. I started to bend my legs, preparing to jump when I felt two hands on my waist and a voice whispered in my ear,

'Need some help darlin'?'

'Oh SHIT!' I yelled, jumping about a foot on the air and cracking my head on the cupboard door.

'Shit, fuck, WANKER!' I groaned, clutching my head and pushing back from the cabinet into Nathan's arms.

'Jesus Sykes,' I groaned, 'Never do that to me again.' I love Nathan, I really do, He's like my twin brother, so much banter between the two of us, there always has been, I'm his girl that's not technically his girl, because I'm Jay's.

'Yes please babes,' I said, winking at him before climbing gently on to the side board. Nathan stretched up and grabbed the aspirin out the cupboard before tossing them gently to me and handing me some water to wash them down with.

'So Missy, enjoy yourself last night?' He said, taking my toast out the toaster and buttering it for me, making me a mug of tea as well, bless him. He handed me some toast, I took a bite and Nathan grabbed a bit off my plate before leaning on the side opposite me.

'Yeah, cept me head's pounding like hell this morning.' I mumbled around my toast.

'You're so charming, talking with your mouth full, downing all those drinks last night. Poor Siva had to stop you jumping on the table and doing a strip tease for us.' He winked at me. I spat the chewed bread in to my hand before chucking it at his head. He ducked, standing up just in time for a bit to hit him straight in the face. He laughed before coming and picking me up off the counter. I giggled as he spun me round, placing me on the floor.

He put his arms around me and began whirling me round the kitchen, dipping me every now and again while I giggled in delight. Suddenly,

'Nath, slow down or I'm guna be sick...' I mumbled as he dipped me again. Nathan pulled me gently upright and I placed my head on his shoulder while he tightened his arms around my waist. We danced, slowly in the kitchen for a brief moment, both of us in silence. Suddenly the door banged open, then there was a shout,

'JAY get ya arse in here, ya bird's dancing with Nathan!' Tom's voice shouted.

I separated myself from Nathan, kissing him gently on the cheek before running (well, hobbling) and leaping lightly in to Jay's arms. I kissed him on the lips, mumbling,

'I love you...' against them. He smiled, kissing my fore-head.

'Well, we have a busy day ahead of us...' He said, as the rest of the boys joined us in the kitchen, all yawning and stretching, so let's get some aspirin down us and get started.' He grinned.

Part 6

I want to fly, Like a rocket to the sky,

Going up a million miles, And I'm not coming down,

Won't stop till I feel the sky at my feet,

My dreams on my wings, I'm flying, Flying high.

Eventually we were all fully dressed and in the car in the way to the studio. There was an important tour meeting today with Jayne, Martin and Kev and they wanted me to be there. We got to the studio and I grabbed my crutches, climbing out the car, smiling as Jay leaned back in to help me out. We went inside and met Jayne in the lobby.

'Hey Hannah,' She smiled warmly at me, 'let's go, the others are all waiting.' We climbed in to the lift and came out a few floors up. I looked around the table in the centre of the room, catching Kev's eye, who winked and rolled his eyes at me, seeing my crutches. Martin however scowled at me. I looked at Nathan who shrugged at me.

Sitting down at the table the meeting started. Martin began speaking,

'Ok, we have a full European tour lined up for you boys, backing dancers, a band, the works. There's just one thing you might not agree with.' He said, making a pointed glance in my direction. I felt Jay's hand appear on my thigh, squeezing gently and all the other boys gravitated their chairs closer to mine.

'She can't dance.' Martin said simply. There was uproar.

'OF COURSE SHE CAN DANCE!' Tom yelled, throwing his chair backwards across the room as tears pricked at the corners of my eyes.

'She missed the audition and she has a problem with her hip.' Martin said, clasping his hands and leaning forwards across the table.

'But she's our best dancer. She has to dance...' Nathan growled, grabbing my hand.

'No it's fine...' I choked out, 'if Martin doesn't think I can dance, I won't.' I said, lunging backwards away from the table and running as fast as my hip would allow me to the lift. Slamming the close door button before anyone could follow me.

I got about 3 floors down before collapsing on the floor of the lift. I had to get out of here, I could feel my phone buzzing in my pocket and knew it wouldn't be long before one, maybe all, of the lads followed me down in the lift next to the one I was in. The lift reached the ground floor and I heaved myself up and through the reception. I was hobbling as fast as I could; I heard a shout behind me and turned briefly to see a young door man running after me.

'Miss, are you sure you want to walk? You look in pain.'

I pulled a brave face, trying to ignore the tears streaming down my face, and nodded hard. He smiled sympathetically at me and handed me a tissue out of his pocket.

'Turn that frown in to a smile, your face is to pretty to be in that much of a state.' He winked at me.

'Thank you.' I whispered before turning away and leaving the building.

I'd only hobbled a bit down the road before my phone started buzzing again. I pulled it out to see it ringing with Siva's name on the display screen. I took a deep breath, before pressing the call accept button.

'Siva, if you're with the boys at the moment, please leave,' I said. I heard him mutter,

'Bathroom break,' before he answered me,

'Hannah where are you? Everyone's so worried, Jayne's in the process of changing Martin's mind. Jay and Nathan have basically been crying, they blame themselves for your injury, you left your crutches and they're worried about you walking.'

I cut him off,

'Siva, listen to me, I'm fine. Just aching a little bit, listen, I don't want you lot to find me just yet, I'm going on a little trip, I'll be home by midnight. I'm turning my phone off so don't try to contact me. I just need some time to think. Work out my next move. If Martin changes his mind just drop me a text. Tell Jay I love him?' I finished before hanging up and turning my phone off. A bus was coming down the road and I had a sudden brainwave. I checked my jacket for my purse and realised I had my card on me and a bit of cash, so I hailed the bus, climbing on it carefully, handing the driver the fare before hobbling on.

The bus was full of rowdy school kids and as it pulled away from the curb I lurched and grabbed a bar so as not to hurt myself. I slowly pulled myself upright and moved more on to the bus, ignoring the kids screaming and yelling. Suddenly, someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turned. A boy had stood up and was pointing to his seat.

'Here, sit down...' he mumbled, he must of been about 16/17 and was clearly the quiet one. He reminded me so much of Jay, I smiled at him warmly and brushed past him to sit in the seat, grabbing his arm briefly when the bus jerked and I lost my balance.

'Thank you,' I said, lowering myself gently in to the seat.

'It's alright,' He mumbled, blushing. I looked out the window, waiting for the row of shops just before my stop. When they appeared I leaned forwards to press the bell, pulling myself out the seat. I smiled at the boy again before limping off the bus, thanking the driver on the way past, as I climbed off, I turned right, walking towards where I knew it would still be. I turned down a side road and smiled as I saw it.

The playground hadn't changed in years. The swing set was a bit worn, but still there, the climbing frame rusted but still standing. I smiled and walked to the climbing frame, I bent down and there it was, the gap Liam (my brother) and I had created in the metal sheeting. If you didn't know it was there, you wouldn't see it. We'd pulled it back and bent it just enough that our small bodies could still squeeze through it, I smiled, pulling the metal back and slipping through the gap, pulling it back on myself so I was encased in the darkness, thin cracks of light spilling in from the edges. I felt across the ground, finding the gas lamp and matches, striking a match and lighting the lamp, letting the den fill with a warm glow. I shivered slightly, it was chilly and I didn't have a thick coat on. Suddenly everything from the past few days came crashing down on me and I felt tears prick at the corners of my eyes, I curled up on the floor and let the tears flow.