The Book of Old Friends
The chime sounded an impatient second time.
Qui-Gon Jinn took his time arriving at the door. Any other time he would have called on the Force and waved the door of his apartment open. Any other time when he didn't feel so tense.
He palmed the door open only to face his friend Mace Windu.
"What brings you here?"
"I can't pay a visit to my friend?"
Qui-Gon stepped back and ushered the respected Council member inside. "I always suspect something when you show up before I've had a chance to unpack."
"I've become obvious," Mace said with a smile taking a seat on the couch.
"Tea?"
"No, thank you." Mace glanced around the apartment, but he was already aware of Anakin's presence in the training rooms. "Qui--"
"Obi-Wan's here." No use in mincing words.
They both knew the reason of Mace's presence.
Qui-Gon smiled. "Yes, I know. How could I not? He was my padawan once." The words were plain, formal. Emotionless. The graying Jedi master sat down in the chair across from his friend. He offered a mask of calm that he knew his friend could easily see through. "He will be gone in a day or so."
"Not this time."
Suddenly Qui-Gon straightened and stared at Mace. "What do you mean?"
"The will of the Council is he will not be given any more missions for the time being. Yoda has insisted he remains within the temple."
"Aren't there any more hostage situations for him? Or has the Republic suddenly broken out into peace."
Mace just stared at the other man for a long time. "Now you know as well as I do that there will always be a need for a good extraction expert. But like I said, Yoda has insisted he remains within the temple for the time being."
Qui-Gon leapt to his feet. "Then Anakin and I should return to the field."
"You haven't even been back a day."
"Mace--"
"If it would make you feel better, Obi-Wan showed his displeasure with the Council. He argued against it. Of course, we won."
"That does not make me feel better. We will take an extended mission to the farthest reaches of space."
Mace laughed. "Do you know who you sound like?"
Qui-Gon just stared at him.
"You sound just like Obi-Wan in that meeting."
"Do not compare me to him," Qui-Gon said coldly.
"He had an excellent teacher to learn defiance from."
"I do not want to speak about him!" Qui-Gon roared.
Mace leaned back in his seat and stared at the other Jedi calmly not ruffled by the outburst.
Qui-Gon stopped. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. After a moment he released his sudden anger to the Force. When he was sufficiently centered he opened his eyes. "Forgive me."
"It's been four years, Qui."
"I think I would rather have you lecture me on Anakin than listen to anything you have to say concerning Knight Kenobi."
Mace lowered his eyes and sadly shook his head. "You do not make things easy, old friend."
"Find us another mission."
"You and Anakin just arrived. Padawan Skywalker needs his schedule and a return to his classes, wasn't that what you said in the briefing earlier?" He motioned to the vacated chair. "Sit."
Reluctantly Qui-Gon sat down.
"I remember a conversation about six or seven years ago." Mace hesitated to gage Qui-Gon's reaction. He smiled as he spoke. "You told me you were getting too old to chase padawan's around. A twenty-three year old was too much for your old bones, you said."
An unhappy frown graced Qui-Gon's leonine features.
"I couldn't imagine you taking on a nine year old. How are your old bones handling him now that he is thirteen?"
"Once the nervous energy was brought under control, my old bones are doing fine."
"That's why I detect a well hidden limp."
Qui-Gon laughed and leaned back in his seat. "I should never have opened the door."
"I would have leaned on the chime."
"Threats."
"Anakin."
Again the venerable master frowned. "We are working through this."
"We are concerned."
"I didn't know this was an official visit."
"It's not." Mace sat quietly for a long time. "Maybe I should rephrase that. I am concerned."
Qui-Gon's steady gaze fell onto his friend. "Anakin is no worse than other kids his age. I've trained three of them and I can tell you that."
"Yes, but none of your thirteen year olds killed a bird out of annoyance."
"It is a stumbling stone." Qui-Gon hesitated, turning his attention completely to his friend. His words were slow and deliberate. "I know Anakin is having difficulties. No, I don't mean to downplay what happened. I know there will be many more incidents. I am working with him. He is improving, you have to see that."
"I know. I have kept very close tabs on his progress. You know that."
"Yes." Qui-Gon leaned forward in his seat. "Anakin is everything. He is improving faster than I could have imagined. He's not only caught up with the children his age but he has surpassed them. He is the chosen one. He is my legacy."
_____________
The Book of Being Alone
The lift door opened.
A specter brushed out of the empty compartment.
Obi-Wan moved silently. His memory guided him through each turn until he reached the farthest, darkest corner.
On this floor of the residence wing it was sparsely populated. A temporary touch down for newly minted knights eager to spend their time in the field. More often than not, this corner went unoccupied. No one wanted to stay there.
No windows.
No easy route to the lifts or stairs.
It was plain. The walls dull. Neglected compared to the rest of the living quarters.
But that little corner, deep in the temple, had one thing no other apartment had. It was as far from Qui-Gon Jinn and Anakin Skywalker's apartment as it could be and still remain in the greater temple.
Obi-Wan stood at the dull gray door.
Unconsciously he pulled his cloak tighter attempting to shelter himself from the in borne chill. The small travelling bag strap pushed back tight against his shoulder. His hand raised slowly to palm the door open but he stopped.
Going in meant he accepted defeat.
The Council had won. He already knew that.
The door swished open and Obi-Wan stared into the darkened room.
He looked down the hall.
Alone.
What else was new?
Obi-Wan stepped in and allowed the door to slide closed behind him. Dim lights came on with the wave of his hand.
The room was small.
It was barely large enough to support a small couch. A little table in the corner. Dull gray walls.
An even tinier sleep room with a refresher.
Home.
The small travel bag that he always carried fell to the floor by the door.
Obi-Wan didn't travel any further than the bag. He leaned back against the door. His eyes slowly adjusting to the low light setting.
A bright green light flashed on the com unit at the far end of the small room.
Each blink as steady as a heartbeat at rest.
He made no move toward it.
It could blink all it wanted he wasn't going to answer it.
Whoever it was, he didn't want to speak to them.
The green light seemed to pulse quicker.
There was a chime and the light grew steady.
"I know you're still unpacking," came a female voice over the com's automatic messaging system. "Obi-Wan, I know you are there. Obi?"
Unconsciously reinforcing his shields, Obi-Wan stood almost frozen wishing the message would hurry up and end.
"What are you doing? Walking as slow as possible? Master Yoda wanted me to report whether or not you showed up. You know he asks this every time. I hate having to explain to him that you won't go to the healers."
"But you do, Bant," Obi-Wan whispered. "Faithful friend as ever. Even when I don't give you a reason to be."
"Obi-Wan, answer me. I know you're there. Where else would you be in the temple?" There was a moment of hesitation. "Okay, maybe I didn't give you a chance to get in, that's what I'm hoping. I hear rumor around the temple you're going to be staying around for a while. I don't want you to slip past without getting a chance to visit with you."
Then there was silence.
The green light began blinking again.
The brown cloak billowed and floated as Obi-Wan crossed the room in a few bold steps. His hand brushed the cool surface of the com, never hesitating he pressed the erase button.
The green light disappeared.
Slowly he turned and stared at the empty room.
No one lived there.
No one lived there even when he did.
Obi-Wan sank to the single chair next to the small round table in the corner. Again he tugged on his cloak, drawing it tight over his tunic, as if it would protect him from the phantom chill that was his constant companion.
Slowly he scanned the room.
There was nothing.
Not one personal effect to give away it's owner.
The hardness of his expression slipped away.
Without thinking he slipped his hand along the side of his utility belt searching for a little pouch. Pulling it open he absently reached inside. For a moment he just sat there surprised at what he had done.
Sad realization struck him. The river stone, a gift on his thirteenth birthday from Qui-Gon, much like the person he had once been, were gone.
A part of him wished he still had it, if for no other reason than to remind him of a past where everything had its place. A time when he knew his destiny.
When he knew his place in the world.
When he wasn't so alone.
_________________
The Book of Questions
Qui-Gon Jinn took quick glances about the hallway as he swiftly headed back toward his quarters.
His eyes the only thing he could trust.
"I don't think it worked," a voice came from behind.
Suddenly the tall master stiffened as he turned, his cloak billowing in the corridor. His expression eased as he saw his apprentice jogging to catch up.
Anakin offered up a roguish grin. "You're still tense."
The Jedi master straightened. "Funny, I feel fine," he said with a smile. Gently he laid a large, comforting hand on Anakin's shoulder. "How did your sparring match with Master Ke go?"
The youth twisted slightly showing an angry burn along his neck. "She got me six times."
"Six?" Qui-Gon laughed. "Most padawans give up after the second."
A look of disappointment fluttered across Anakin's features as he stared up. "I didn't know it was okay to give up."
"With Master Ke a tactical retreat is always the smartest option."
The frown quickly broke into a round of laughter from the thirteen year old. "I'll remember that the next time."
"I'm sure you will."
"You're still tense," Anakin said, drawing the conversation back to his master.
"There is a lot on my mind," the tall master said calmly as he continued his trek through the temple. Consciously he returned to his visual search.
For a long time, Anakin walked silently in his place next to his master, but he often stole glances up at the man. "Obi-Wan," he said finally.
"Knight Kenobi," Qui-Gon gently corrected, unhappy to hear that name spoken so casually. "And no, that is not it."
"Humph."
"You're sounding more like Master Yoda every day."
Anakin strained to stare up at the tall master. "I sit through enough of his lectures."
"It is done only in your best interests."
"He pokes me with that stick of his. I can't wait until I'm bigger so he won't do that."
"Get used to it," Qui-Gon chuckled, pressing his hand to the youth's shoulder. "He still has no trouble jamming me in the shin with it whenever he pleases."
More laughter from the boy.
Qui-Gon couldn't help but to return the laughter and gently tugged on the thin padawan braid that dangled over Anakin's shoulder. He couldn't remember the last time he had ever felt so happy.
No, happy wasn't the word for it.
Complete.
He couldn't help but to stare at the youth's innocent face. Through Anakin he would pass on all his knowledge. All that he ever was. And the boy was a willing student he could not have asked for more.
When the two Jedi passed beyond the gentle current of the temple occupants to a more secluded section Anakin slowed. "Do you hate him?" he asked softly, his eyes cast to the floor.
Qui-Gon stopped. His gaze turned empty as he stared down the hallway.
"I over heard some padawans whispering."
"You shouldn't listen to rumors."
"Do you hate him?"
"No, Anakin."
"Then why don't you two ever speak to each other? You were friends before."
"I was his teacher and he was my student. We've just grown apart," Qui-Gon said casually, hoping the boy would accept it without question.
"Do you think when I become a knight that we'll grow apart?"
The Jedi master exhaled breath he didn't realize he had been holding. "I don't think I would ever allow that to happen."
"Good, because I would hate to lose our friendship."