A/N: Damn, too many people liked this, so I had to write another chapter.

Oh, and while I have time to rant, GODAMMIT DC! STAHP SHIPPING BB/RAE ALREADY! IT'S NAUSEATING! BAKJHFSFA!

*theme from "Rocky" plays while Tom systematically kills DC management*

Anyway. Next crack-filled garbage dump of the mind coming right up. Review my brain's insanity. A lot.

Checkmate

"Well that was unexpected."

"No kidding."

Something suddenly hit Kid Flash. "Wait, wasn't that Catwoman? Who has a supercriminal for a mother, anyhow?"

Artemis hit him.

"Let me rephrase that: "Who has a whip-wielding, cat-burglar ninja-woman for a mother?"

"The same person who has THE GODDAMN BATMAN for a dad, evidently." Artemis said, hitting him again.

"RECOGNISED: SUPERMAN, A-01; WONDER WOMAN, A-03; HAWKGIRL, A-06." the Zeta beam computer lady interrupted.

Superman shot out of the tube, heat vision at the ready. Seeing no-one, he floated down to the ground.

"Kon-El, what happened? Someone hacked the Zeta tube systems. Did you see them?"

Superboy stretched and replied nonchalantly "Yeah, just Robin's mum. No big deal."

Wonder Woman flew over. "Robin has a mother?"

"Mmhmm, it's some cat lady."

"Cheetah?!"

"No." Kid Flash said. "Does Batman look like a furry to you? Apart from the dressing-up-as-a-giant-bat thing."

"CATWOMAN?!"

"That's the one." Artemis said, snapping her fingers.

"Where's Batman in all of this?" Hawkgirl asked, twirling her mace by the strap absently.

"Went home."

Superman and Wonder Woman had kittens; Hawkgirl just laughed. "That's very like him. Okay, team. To the Batcave!" she said, spreading her wings and pointing to the zeta tubes with her mace theatrically.

"RECOGNISED: SUPERMAN, A-01; WONDER WOMAN, A-03; HAWKGIRL, A-06. UNRECOGNISED CONTACTS: KID FLASH, ARTEMIS, SUPERBOY, MISS MARTIAN, AQUALAD. NEUTRALISE UNRECOGNISED CONTACTS." the Batcave's harsh British-accented computer voice announced.

"Disengage security protocols. Password: 53L1N4 K7L3." a smooth female voice said from the Batcomputer.

"I wanted to see them fight off the training droid. You're no fun, Mama." Robin's distinctive cackle echoed about the cave.

"Robin." Batman's voice.

Superman cracked his neck menacingly. "Batman, you've got five seconds to explain this to me. Starting now."

Batman landed with a clang on the large circular panel the "intruders" were currently standing on in a flurry of bats.

"Does he command those or something?" Artemis whispered to Kid Flash.

"Very probably."

"I don't have to explain anything to you, Clark." Batman said, managing to sound more menacing than Superman without even trying. "And don't even bother trying to play the "secret identity" game, the cowl's lined with lead."

Robin grappled over to Catwoman, who was next to the Batcomputer. "Half a million says Tati's going to use the Kryptonite batarangs this time."

"$1 million says he'll use the grapnel gun. Just the grapnel gun." she replied.

"Can you not make bets while I'm threatening the greatest hero in the universe, please?" Batman growled.

"Have fun with that, dear. Baby Bird, $1 million or no breakfast tomorrow. I'm going to bed." Catwoman yawned and clicked off up the stairs.

"Whatever." Robin replied then turned back to the faceoff between Supes and Bats.

"Leave. Now."

"Not going to happen."

"Oh YOU DID NOT JUST REFUSE THE GODDAMN BATMAN!" Kid Flash shouted. "You goin' daaaaooown, bro!"

Batman held up his right gauntlet and deliberately pressed a holographic button, while he displayed the signature Bat Glare. Robin dropped down beside him, did the same and performed his own Bat-glare version; the Robin Squint.

An immense, four-barrelled anti-air gun with ominously green glowing shells evidently loaded into it unfolded from an innocuous-looking black bat-embossed box and made four very loud "Ch-chink!" noises.

"Your move, Superman."