Cast: (All are RED)
Scout: Jacob
Soldier: Richard
Pyro: S. Thought to be Sam.
Demoman: Mitch
Heavy: Viktor
Engineer: Billy
Sniper: Adam
Medic: Gunther
Spy: Philip "Phil"
Teufort, RED Base, Kitchen.
Billy whistled as he prepared breakfast for his team. After yesterday's excitement, he thought they'd enjoy having a calm breakfast when Soldier all woke them up at 6 AM. So Billy woke up at 4:30.
He set down the bacon and eggs on the stove and grabbed a can of Jacob's favorite soda, and then a fresh bottle of beer for Mitch. He then quickly made a Sandvich for Viktor, that would surely make him get a bear hug from the kind man.
Next was Medic, who he had made a special sausage for. Then he made Sniper a large sandwich held together with a few toothpicks. Adam had always had a large appetite for Billy's food, and asked for seconds. Billy was sure this would stop him from asking for another, especially the hot sauce he had added as an after thought.
For Spy... He didn't know, so he went with another plate of eggs, so the man wouldn't be insulted by a random food Billy had thought would be a good addition to his diet. For Sam... Another sandwich.
6:02 AM
A wide-awake Richard and the seven other teammates trudged through the hall to the kitchen where they found Billy, feet up on the table, drinking one of Jacob's Bonk sodas.
That woke the Bostonian up. "My Bonk!" he yelled, running over and grabbing it from the Texan's hand. He turned it over to find it empty, and started to yell, "That was my la-" Then he saw the can in Billy's hand and stopped cold.
"That child..." Mitch muttered groggily, slumping down into his seat between Adam and Gunther.
"Wake up, maggots!" Richard pounded his hand on the table, shaking awake the men as they rubbed their eyes, reaching around to find their drinks and plates in their half-asleep state.
"Thanks, bud." Jacob smiled at Billy and took his seat next to him and Adam, who was trying to continue snoozing with his hat over his eyes.
"Wake up..." Richard whispered into the Australian's ear. He mumbled something about beauty rest, and continued sleeping.
"MAGGOT!" Richard's trademark way of waking the team up got Adam perked and grabbing for the long sandwich on his plate. He bit into it and fanned his tongue, looking at Billy for relief.
"Wa'er, wa'er!" He begged, breathing heavily and trying to grab Jacob's bonk can.
"Glass on the sink." Billy replied simply.
As Adam got water and Richard said the pledge of allegiance, Billy was squeezed from behind by Viktor, who was holding his Sandvich in his right hand. "Thank you, thank you, Engineeer!" He said several times before letting the Texan down.
Billy had been right.
RED Base, Rec room, 12:00 PM
"I'm tell ye, there is no way that ye could beat me in arm wrestlin'!" Mitch boasted, putting his hand up on the table he had sat at yesterday.
"Put it up, maggot!" Richard challenged, clasping the Scotman's hand with his own. They gripped each other's hard, and waited for the sign to go from somebody else.
"READY!" Jacob yelled, suddenly next to the table.
"Set..." He lowered his voice.
"Go." His voice was a whisper.
The arm war began. Richard took the early lead, nearly pinning the Scot's arm to the table in the beginning, but the Demoman came back, nearly getting the American as well. They held steady for a while, barely leaving the center of the table, until the Demoman took a swig from his bottle and slammed Richard's hand down, a loud smack following.
"I told ye." He said simply, as Scout and Gunther applauded him.
"Who's next?" Mitch asked.
"Take me on, Scotty." Jacob sat down and clasped the man's hand, awaiting the go order.
"GO!" Richard yelled with no warning.
The Scot slammed down the young baseball fan's hand so fast, the table cracked. Scout was flipped over from his chair and landed on the floor, his hand pulsing blood from several splinters stuck in his hand.
"AH!" Jacob screamed, clutching his hand, careful not to touch any of the splinters.
"Ah, a patient?" Gunther stepped over to the young man and helped him up. He then shooed the Bostonian towards the door to the Med-bay, where he quickly followed.
Viktor looked torn, and instead chose to stay with the rest of the team, and sat down to challenge Mitch.
"Err... I gotta go make sure me alcohol is still where me left it." Mitch excused himself and left the Heavy sitting alone at the table, rubbing his Pocket Medic.
"Guys, I got an idea." Billy suddenly spoke up from his position on the couch.
"Whaddya got, mate?" Adam turned to the Engineer and tipped his hat.
"Remember how ol' Jacob always wanted to play hide-and-seek when we were bored before?" The Texan asked, standing up and stretching.
"Yea..." Adam answered, not sure where he was going with this.
"Well, the kid got hurt. The least we could do would be to play for him, you know?" Billy continued, looking around at the remaining men in the room. It was him, Sam, Viktor, Adam, Phil, and Richard.
"That game is for maggots!" Richard exclaimed, tapping his helmet and staring hard at Billy.
"Too bad." Billy replied simply, standing up and exiting the room.
"I think game is good idea!" Viktor piped up, standing from the table and following the Texan out.
"Eh, why not?" Adam followed.
Sam followed absent-mindedly behind, leaving Richard to trudge slowly after them, "Stupid commie maggots. Childish game..."
After finding Scout and the Medic in the Med-bay, Gunther having hooked up the Bostonian to the medigun while he pulled the splinters out with his tweezers.
"'Ey Jacob." Billy said, getting the attention of the whimpering kid.
"Yea?"
"Wanna play hide-'n'-seek?" Billy asked.
"NO FOOLIN'?" Jacob yelled, nearly shooting up off of the table. His splinters removed, he grabbed the Engineer's hand and shook is hard and fast, happiness filling his eyes.
"No foolin'." Billy answered.
"WHOO!" Jacob yelled, drawing his bat from his back and tossing it in the air in a show of happiness.
"Hmm... May I offer a way to accelerate ze game?" Gunther broke in, a large syringe in his hand. It had a red liquid inside, and seemed to bubble as he stared at it.
"NO! Not like yesterday!" Richard yelled, eying the syringe as if it was a communist general.
"Oh, nozing like yesterday, mein American friend. Though you will find a surprise when using this." Gunther offered the syringe to the Engineer, who took is carefully and held it away from any appendages the others had.
"Okay. All of you, go hide!" Jacob yelled, running off in the direction to get to the rooms of the other men.
"RAAAAA!" Viktor yelled, running off in the direction of the armory.
"Catch me if ya can, wanker!" Adam yelled, sprinting off in the predictable direction of his nest.
Richard stayed silent for once and ran off in the direction of the meeting room.
Sam had a thought. He loved fire. What better place to hide for a person who loves fire than in an area that hated fire? Sam ran off to find the drainage pipes.
"No cloaking!" Billy yelled as Gunther jammed the syringe into his arm. Billy felt a warm surge go up through his arms, and felt as if he could do anything and everything he wanted.
"Ah, curse your American rules..." Phil slunk off in the direction of the bridge, where he intended to hide on top off like Jacob.
"Go, mein American friend, find your players." Gunther backed away and swept the Texan on with the tip of his foot. The first place Billy went was to the armory.
The Armory
Viktor thought he was the most clever Russian he knew. In his hand he silently ate a Sandvich, while he was jammed between two cabinets where he could see the only entrances to the room. If the Engineer came here, he would be the first to know.
"Come out, Heavy..." Billy whispered as he opened the entrance Viktor had left open. Immediately he turned to the area where Viktor's gun, Sasha, resided. He began searching near it, and Viktor felt a longing to protect his weapon from the other man, to hold his precious Sasha and tell her everything would be okay.
As Billy began to touch Sasha, he lost it.
"YOU NO TOUCH SASHA!" He yelled in out rage, tossing his beloved Sandvich at the Engineer. It missed him by a lot, and slammed into a cabinet next to where Richard's rocket launcher was kept. Billy turned and sprinted after Viktor as he charged at the smaller Texan.
"RAAAAAA-" The Russian's cry was cut off as Billy touched him in his large thumb. The Russian immediately was replaced by a pile of ash. Viktor himself was in the Respawn room, where he found was locked by Gunther, who was waiting outside.
"Doctor! Let Viktor out!"
"Not until ze game is finished, my friend." Gunther replied.
Sniper's nest.
Adam was shaking. He could see the Texan slowly ascending the stairs towards him, and clutched his bottles of Jarate, deciding if he should throw the substance at the Engineer. It would most likely have no effect, so he sat down and accepted his fate. He tipped his hat as the Engineer reached towards him.
"Good game, ma-" He was cut off as he disintegrated into a pile of ash, just as Viktor had.
When Adam recovered in Respawn, he saw Viktor twiddling his thumbs and sitting on a bench, whistling a low tune.
Meeting room
"MAGGOT!" Richard yelled, pointing at a picture of the Scout that he had found on the wall of the meeting room. It was a picture of the young man smiling and tipping his cap at the camera, his mocking smile plastered on his face.
"You are a disgrace!" He continued yelling at the picture, unaware of the smaller man creeping up behind him.
"COMM-" Richard was cut off as he turned to yell at a picture of Viktor, who had shown up to the day with a Sandvich in his mouth, and had the thing in his mouth the moment the photographer took the picture.
In Respawn, he found Adam creating more of his famous Jarate as Viktor counted his fingers, always coming up with a different number.
Outside
Billy chuckled as the Spy disintegrated at his touch, just as all the others had. This game was fun when he could actually do something to his annoying teammates without killing them. He slapped his knee and then looked down at the water under the bridge and saw bubbles floating to the surface. Another victim.
He jumped, and a large splash shattered the peace of Sam as he drifted along in the small current in the mucky water, his suit supplying a small amount of air.
"MMMMM!" He protested, kicking away from the kid coming after him with a knife with blood on it. In Pyroland, that was not possible!
"Mmmm- MMMM! M-" He was cut off as he melted to a pile of ashes under the touch of Billy. The ashes quickly dissolved in the water, disappearing from Billy's eyes.
In the Respawn, Sam was greeted by the Sniper and Heavy playing a game of rock, paper, scissors, and the Spy and Soldier speaking calmly in the corner, glancing over at the other two.
Richard's Room.
Scout glanced up at the walls. Richard's room was covered with posters about America, how great it was, how free it was, and how everyone should serve it. He had an entire poster above his bed dedicated to the national anthem, and another on his door to the pledge of allegiance.
"Fuckin' soldier." Jacob muttered, glancing up from the side of Richard's bed. The doorknob was slowly twisting, and Jacob knew he was doomed. He froze in place as the door opened a crack, and the goggled eye of the Engineer peeked in.
Several moments of scuffling later, Jacob awoke in Respawn to see Phil smoking a cigarette in the corner, Sam fumbling with a match in another, Adam and Richard speaking softly while Viktor begged the Medic to open the door.
Several hours later
"Okay, ze game is done. I hope you liked my variation of ze 'tagger'." Gunther said to the tired six men as they strode out of the Respawn room, eying him evilly, Billy sitting in the corner, dozing next to his toolbox.
"One thing, soldier..." Richard whispered to Gunther.
"Ja?"
"NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!"