Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice, but a genius named Higuchi Tachibana does.

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The Seven Heartbreaking Chapters of Her Life

Second Chapter

Written by: keaRy anCe

"Outset and Gossips"

The whole class listened intently; it was a real life, fairy-tale-gone-wrong story that got them talking weeks back. The first paragraph indicated a lot of melancholic feelings that they all knew well, but majority seemed curious all the same, expectant and sympathy visible in their eyes.

Natsume felt guilt creeping up on him. His eyes were fixed over the trembling brunette before them, realizing just then how virtuous she seemed despite the obvious grief she was evoking. "She writes well," he accidentally murmured his thoughts aloud.

"You know, of all people, she was referring to you, right? We're both guilty but there's a part of me that's blaming her," said his seat mate whose eyes looked bored. "Come on, isn't she grateful that you at least talked to her?"

"Stop talking," he fiercely demanded in a low tone. You don't need to tell me.

"It has been known that affections should not be displayed in public. It was a strict, unspoken rule; but rules are meant to be broken, just like promises. It sure rocked the hell out of me, and to other people. Everyone broke it: consciously and unconsciously. The finale, however, is foreseen. We hear, read, and watch dramatic sad love stories, so it's no mystery. The protagonists have their own ways of living, of going on, but some simply couldn't let go. Probably because they felt like they were cheated— not in the literal sense, but the emotional way. It took them to the point wherein they questioned their minds: Did he love me back? Or didn't he?

"Oh my god! Have you heard the big news?"

"The powerhouse couple just broke up!"

"Shut up! You're kidding!"

"Why would we? Sumire-sama declared it herself."

"Wait… then that means Natsume-sama is open for dating again?" Like a simple flick of the light bulb, the information registered and got the machines working: Natsume was single again. Call them crazy for the similar notions, but it was bound to have come up in any girl's mind. Flipping their hair over their shoulders, they rushed off to find the single beau.

Only to find him holding hands with Mikan Sakura.

"What on earth is going on?"

"Natsume, I'm not used to this," she whispered to her beloved boyfriend. Mikan flushed in embarrassment. She wasn't really used to these people talking ill of her. She tried to ignore the rumors circulating the school, but she still felt very uncomfortable.

Natsume bent his head to murmur in her ear; "Ignore them." The impact his velvety yet rough voice had boosted her confidence. "They're jealous."

He's right, she told herself, He cares for you. He's serious. Believe him. So she did. As they walked inside the room, many gasped. Yep, it's true. We're official. She couldn't remove the smug tone in her inner voice. Any girl was bound to have thought that: Natsume was the main attraction, and he was hers. She saw her friends on their side of the room, and so she whispered towards his ear, "I'm just going to greet them good morning, okay?"

She didn't notice how preoccupied he was. Natsume was motionlessly staring back at Sumire, who was formerly talking to her own clique. Hearing Mikan, he nodded, but his eyes lingered over Sumire's. They both stared at each other, feeling as if time had slowed down.

"Good morning," Mikan approached the three, "It's a wonderful sunshine-y day, isn't it?" Her cheerful voice, if possible, was even more cheerful. Neither of her friends missed the tone of voice.

"Aren't you extra ecstatic today?" Anna grinned. "So does this mean that the rumor is true?"

Mikan let out a dreamy sigh. "Positive!"

Nonoko was a bit concerned, but she didn't want to hurt her friend's feelings, especially when she was in high spirits. However, it'd be better than to keep the curiosity inside of her. "But I thought Natsume and Sumire were going strong?"

"All it matters now is that I love him," she replied, "And he loves me too."

All anxiety vanished from the two's face. "Good for you," they said. Both of them knew and believed that Mikan deserved to be happy.

Hotaru, however, was still a bit unsure and against the new relationship. "Only idiots agree to this kind of deal."

"Hey, I'm not an idiot!" Mikan retorted, "And it isn't a deal either."

"Do you know how bad this is?" Hotaru asked, but she got no reply, and so she continued; "Forget it. I can't tolerate any more of these problems you keep bringing to your life I end up fixing."

Mikan didn't expect that to come from her best friend. Sure, she thought she'd be all pokerfaced and cold and strict, but she didn't think she'd be so against it. "Thank you, Hotaru, but I need you to just trust me, okay?" She smiled at her and proceeded to give her a hug, but then thought better of it. When Mr. Narumi entered the room, she went to sit beside Natsume behind. I'm sure of this, Hotaru. Trust me.

"Settle down now, I'm about to give your assignment!" Practically half of the class groaned at this. It was the first period, after all.

"Mr. Narumi is really something," Mikan said in a low voice.

Natsume rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Something like an unwarranted freak." He spat out the words like spit, and Mikan frowned. It shouldn't have surprised her. After all, Natsume never really liked so many people. It was just his best friend Ruka and Sumire.

No, she silently scolded herself. No Sumire. She's a mere remnant of his painful memories. No more, no less. "Right," she agreed to Natsume's statement quite half-heartedly. Natsume and Sumire were so compatible and well-matched; they agreed on almost everything. They were the 'perfect pair', and no one disagreed with that.

"Now, now," Mr. Narumi chastised in an amused manner, "Don't groan at me like that! All I want you to do is very simple." He drew a heart on the board and faced the class once again. "I want you to write an essay on how you see love now, and again three months later."

Yuu raised his hand and was acknowledged. "But, sir, is it possible to change our beliefs in love within three months?"

The teacher only gave a mysterious smile. "Why, yes. Today is November 14, and three months from now, it's Valentine's Day. I think it's safe to say that there are great possibilities. Within three months, anything can happen."

"I'm so excited, Natsume-kun!" Mikan exclaimed, obviously keyed up, "I have so many things to say!" Especially now that I have you.

"Whatever," Natsume muttered. He didn't know what to write, or if he'd even do the essay. What would he put in anyway? His tragic break-up with Sumire Shouda or the stupid Mikan Sakura head over heels beside him?

"And you know what? Mr. Narumi was right. Anything can happen in three months. The thing is, though, I didn't expect it to be this heartrending and agonizing. I know I have no right to complain, but hey, I can cry, right? Of course I can. Weeping is a simple response to an emotional state happening with humans. There's no escaping the fact that we are humans, and we've been cursed with this damned emotions, adding drama to an already-filled life. You want to know something else? Sometimes, it plain sucks being a human being."

Mr. Narumi gulped back the tears and words of sympathy. Mikan hadn't even been through half of her essay but she had said so much already. His words suddenly felt like bullets shot to his heart. Karma was such a freak.

"Stop it, Mikan," Hotaru uttered under her breath. She had considered hauling her best friend out of the room, out of the school, out to the world. She may be bitter and cold, but she knew she shouldn't. Mikan and Natsume needed this moment. It was Mikan Sakura's turn.

Mikan was all smiles as they walked to Gym. It was her favorite subject, getting to move around and being fit. It didn't matter that it was the last subject of the day. "Hush down, PE's about to start," Anna said patiently, tying her shoelaces, which Mikan had unknowingly stepped on in all excitement.

She sighed. "We're not all on the same team, though." She brightened a little, though, when she was pointed out that Hotaru was one of her teammates, and so with much ecstasy, she raised a fist to the air and cheered, "Go soccer!"

Idiots, Hotaru thought when Anna and Nonoko did the same.

"Get the goal, damn it!" Sumire commanded fifteen minutes later as she dashed around the field for the ball. Hotaru glared at her, unfortunately, team captain. She merely sat on the bench, tired enough from running for the last ten minutes. She saw Mikan cheer after luckily reaching the net and kicking the ball.

Unbeknown to her, however, was that the satisfaction creeping through Mikan's conscience was not about winning, but about Sumire. Silently, Mikan chastised herself. Get a grip, Mikan. You shouldn't be so insecure. Sumire and Natsume are way over.

It didn't stop her from gathering herself and walking towards the locker room. She vaguely heard Hotaru ask her where she was going. It didn't matter, though. She felt like she needed to be in the locker room right at that moment.

She halted in her tracks when she saw Sumire with a guy. A guy wiping the trickles of perspiration down his forehead to his perfectly chiseled jaw. A guy with damp raven hair.

Natsume. She didn't need to say it out loud. He was there. Right there. Handing Sumire a bottle of water.

"You don't have to do this, you know," Sumire was saying. Quietly, she tiptoed a little closer for better hearing. "You have Sakura," she added teasingly and winked.

"Who cares?" Natsume retorted. Mikan's heart started beating a little faster than it already was, if that was even possible!

Sumire sighed. From exasperation? Mikan was being hopeful, but she had every right to be. "You're bringing complication to things, Natsume. We're… cheating on Mikan. It makes me feel like the Wicked Witch of the West. Emphasis on Wicked and Witch."

But Natsume was adamant, and learning just that made Mikan's heart ache, as if someone was stopping it from beating. "Do I look like I give a shit?"

"Look, Natsume," Sumire forced him to look at her. "We both know we're going to get married. So have a little fun before that. Wait for a sec."

Suddenly and unexpected to both Sumire and Mikan, Natsume pulled Sumire's arm and brought her closer to his. Face near and lips a few inches apart, anyone knew what was going to happen next. "Patience isn't in my vocabulary."

What on earth are they doing? Mikan couldn't do anything but watch, and she couldn't stop herself from watching either. I mean, of course Natsume's a bit confused, that's perfectly understandable! But Sumire broke up with him! And marry? They're in high school!

And so that was what she saw. Her boyfriend with his ex-girlfriend, making out in the locker room they thought was empty except of them two.

It felt like a nightmare. No, she silently corrected herself. This is a nightmare.

And so, quietly as she could, Mikan ran out of locker room, grabbing a school jacket, and away from the lip-locking pair, past security, out of the school, and away from everyone with only one thought stuck in her head: This won't stop me from loving Natsume.

Ah, yes. A stubborn protagonist, isn't she?

She looked around her minutes later. She was on a small hill near school, a place she accidentally discovered when she was eight and ran when a classmate blamed her for the teacher's broken mug. She cried, and only came back when she vaguely heard the school bell signifying the end of class.

The trees swayed gently around her, and dried leaves waltzed down the grass. The air was so calm, so serene. And Mikan was the opposite. Without meaning to, she stood up and screamed at the top of her lungs; "You stupid, stupid idiot, Mikan Sakura! Oh, wait… You mean witch, Sumire Shouda! I hate you! I hate you! You're a… You're a… You're a good-for-nothing flirt!" Yeah. That's what she is.

"That was harsh." Mikan jumped in surprise. She immediately looked behind her, hoping it wasn't someone she knew, or who knew Sumire. But apparently the guy behind her knew her. And Sumire. "You might be right, though. I don't know, I never got to know her that well."

"Ruka?" Mikan blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"Well…" Ruka's cheeks were warming up, and he looked down with a small smile. "I saw you along the streets. Supposedly I have a dentist appointment but, well, friends need to be attended first, right? So, what was that about?" He looked up, completely changing the subject and hoping she won't notice how awkward he felt.

She shrugged. "Leaking out my feelings. It's not everyday you see your boyfriend and his ex making out."

"Wow." Ruka gave out a low whistle. "You seem pretty calm."

"I seem like I am. I'm not." Sighing dejectedly, she plopped on the ground and hugged her knees. "I like him. More than that, actually."

He was quiet for a moment. She thought she had left, probably found her chosen topic boring. But no, Ruka wasn't that type of guy, and instead, he sat down on the grass beside her.

"Really?" was his one-liner answer.

She nodded absentmindedly and stared out at the city. The busy streets of Tokyo. Cars zooming past each other. Shoppers walking around for early Christmas shopping. Bells chiming. Cars honking. "I think so. No, I know so. I mean, you've ever gotten that feeling when… when you see the person you really, really like? Not the elementary definition, but the one with intense emotions, with real feelings. Not puppy love." She paused, slowly smiling. "Your heart thumps fast, your cheeks blush, and nobody else matters except that person. Time stops. You accept everything about them, looking past their flaws and learning to love them because of it."

Realizing she was rambling, she stopped herself before saying more and looked towards at Ruka, waiting for an answer. His eyes were on the city too, and he had that float-y and dreamy expression on his face. "Yeah…"

Mikan smiled and glanced at her watch. "I probably should get going now. I still need to grab my stuffs and change out of this stinky gym clothes."

That night, after eating a hearty supper, she satisfyingly sat on the chair infront of her desk.

Love.

She stared at her essay and the uncapped pen.

Love.

Leaning against the chair, Mikan swayed her legs and stared out of the window.

Love.

The darkness was comforting. The quarter moon glinted and the stars sparkled.

Love.

One word.

And so, she crossed her legs and pressed the pen's point against the paper.

"One word. One syllable. Easy to spell, easy to say, yet hard to really, really feel. Love. Yes, love. That wonderful tingling emotion you feel when you see him walking along the corridors. The same emotion making you smile unconsciously when the warm city breeze makes his hair flow like the ocean. That sensation gushing through you like a stream of giddiness."

Love.

Just like that, she forgot whatever happened earlier. All she could think of was that love made her happy.

Natsume, however imperfect he may be, however confused he was, made her happy.

Mikan knew the day would be one of the luckiest days of her life when she saw Natsume at the front gate the following morning. She called after him, and he merely glanced behind when she did, a bored look on his handsome features. It was a normal look for him, but she couldn't help admiring him every single day.

"Pretty good wake up call?" She asked, a winsome smile still on as she held his hand and swung it back and forth. They walked towards the buildings, ignoring whispers and stares. Mikan could handle that. She could handle anything for him.

Which is why she forced the nasty memories from yesterday to the back of her mind.

Sumire woke me up, he wanted to say out loud. But of course he wouldn't. He couldn't. He shrugged and glanced at her. "Same as you."

Mikan nodded serenely, flying to oblivion with contentment. Today will be a lucky day for her.

But Natsume thought otherwise. He couldn't stand the Sakura girl. He can't even understand what brought him to blurt those words. It was probably the longing he felt when Sumire turned his back on him, saying they needed to be apart for a while and find somebody else… for the meantime.

"Natsume?" He snapped back to reality and saw Mikan giving him a concern look a sympathetic person would give a child crying on the playground. "You're, err, gripping my hand too hard."

He didn't say anything.

Natsume, what's wrong? Mikan wanted to ask. She lacked the courage. And besides, he didn't want to talk about it. She should respect his privacy. Except… except, they're going out. They should be faithful to each other, and if something was bothering him, Mikan should know about it.

What if it's about Sumire? What are you going to do about it?

And so the annoying conscience has decided to do the commentary. The rational part of Mikan's brain had stepped forward and made her see sense.

I don't know, Mikan told herself frantically. What should I do?

Now she was talking to herself. She mentally reminded herself to check if that was normal.

Be true. Be straightforward. Be brave.

"Do you love me?"

The words escaped her lips before she could even stop it. They both stopped dead on their tracks and Natsume actually blinked once to show his confusion. "Why'd you ask?"

"I asked you a question." She said firmly, and repeated the words: "Do you love me?"

There was no hesitation. "Yes."

And she fell for it. She fell for his fib. Just because he didn't 'hesitate'.

She didn't see him crossing his fingers behind his back.

"It's a wonderful essay," Mr. Narumi gave her a gentle smile, setting the paper down. "But…"

"But what?" Mikan was eager to know every critique he has for her essay. She wanted it to be perfect and real, inspiring and true.

Mr. Narumi clasped his hands together. "I think there's more to love than how it's like fluff puffs and bliss. What about the negative parts of it? The bitterness of love?"

"But isn't the point of love is to make people happy? To make them smile? It's a positive feeling…" her voice trailed off, but she gained composure and defended her essay. "Why should there be something negative about it?"

"Well…" He thought of a suitable answer for the optimistic girl. "We learn from love. Sometimes it's not all about sunshine and rainbows, no matter how we wish it is. But on some accounts, we learn due to the unpleasantness of it. We get something out of it."

"Back then, I've always believed that love only brings sunshine smiles and glorious days. Again, I was proven wrong. Just like the three-month-change. I should've, I don't know, expected more? Yes, that's it, more. More than what I saw with my naked eyes, more than what my brain told me, not what my heart felt. And so, unconsciously, I made a disaster out of myself. I made my life a big joke, something that everyone would always be able to laugh at and mock, saying how stupid someone could be.

Love is bitter. But I never expected it to be bitter to me. It's selfish and conceited, but I always believed I was worth more than that. I wasn't worth the tears or the pain. I felt like I didn't deserve that, because I was, well, good. I was obedient and true and honest. The annoying thing about love, though, is that it didn't even warn me. It just struck like lightning when you least expect it.

So I told myself that I hated love. I hated it. I despised every bit of it. It was just so unfair! But then, realization struck me. I didn't hate love, even though it snapped me into two! I didn't hate men either. I shouldn't blame the whole species just because of one guy.

It was and is easier to say that I hate myself. Very, very much."

Tears fell down her rosy cheeks, trickling down her pointed nose, flowing down to her neck. It was a heartbreaking sight.

End of Chapter

Thank you very much Tearless Sonnet and Kyra Marie.