Chapter Two: Thinking About the Past
John couldn't believe he was driving to Stanford and that all three of his children were there and in danger. Why in the hell couldn't Azazel leave his family alone? He planned on driving to Stanford after Kae was safe and sound at Bobby's, but as always his little girl had plans of her own.
John wondered if he was doing the right thing when it came to Sammy. Every night since the night Sam left, John had been second guessing himself. Did he make the right decision, should he call and apologize to his son, or should he demand that Sammy come back home, right now? Even though it was almost two years ago he could remember that night like it was yesterday.
Flashback:
It started out like every other night. Dean had made hamburgers like usual while Kae and Sam were working on Kae's homework. John was always surprised at how patient Sammy was when working with Kae. He never let her rush through an assignment and always made sure she fixed every mistake. Sure the kid had to swat his little sister now and then, but Kae had been getting straight A's for almost as long as she had lived with the family. John knew that it was all due to Sammy's hard work not that Kae wasn't capable of getting straight A's without help. She just was more like Dean and didn't think school was too important. John was glad of all of Sam's assistance here, because he didn't want another high school dropout on his hands and Kae would follow Dean down that road if she thought she could get away with it. Not that Dean would ever let her drop out of school. One thing was for sure Kae would graduate from high school and like Sam; she would be graduating with honors.
As they sat down for dinner John was surprised at how quiet Sam was. Sure he and Sam had been fighting more days than not, but this was his first night home after being gone for close to a month so he shouldn't have done anything to piss the kid off yet. He looked at Dean and wondered if Sam had done something wrong while he was on the hunt. But the more he thought about it, the more he knew that the eighteen year old wasn't hiding anything he did wrong. Sam was getting wiser in his old age and it had been at least a year since John had to come home and deal with one of Sammy's transgressions. Now if it was Kae, he was positive the opposite would be true.
"Are we moving again?" Kae asked not liking the silence. She too was wondering what was up with Sam.
"No, Sammy graduates next week and I want to see him walk across that stage and get his diploma."
"Yeah, seeing Sammy in his cap and gown's going to be great," Dean agreed beaming.
"I'm not going to the graduation ceremony. I already asked them to mail me my diploma," Sam said firmly.
"Why?" John asked in shock.
"I won't be here. I already finished my finals, because I…" Sam faltered. How was he going to tell them he was leaving for Stanford tonight to start a summer program for incoming freshmen on scholarships? He'd put if off for over three months, but now if he didn't say something, he wouldn't be able to go.
"I turned down two jobs so I could come to your graduation. I know how hard you worked for this Sam, so you better have a damn good reason for not wanting to go," John demanded.
Sam looked at the three puzzled faces at the table, took a deep breath, and said,
"I got into Stanford on a full ride scholarship. They want me to take a few summer courses to help get prepared for the fall."
The room fell into a shocked silence for about five minutes. Sam wondered who would get their voice back first and wasn't surprised when his father bellowed,
"You're not fucking going so get it out of your head right now. That's an order."
"Dad, I'm not a little kid. I'm eighteen so you really don't get to tell me what I can and can't do. You should be proud of me. Getting into Stanford on a full ride scholarship is an honor. I worked really hard and it paid off," Sam tried.
"I am proud of you, but you should've known that I wouldn't let you go," John said trying to keep his cool. Fear was seeping into his pours. He couldn't let his Sammy go out into the world alone. He knew what was out there and what Sam was up against. Hell, Sam knew what he was up against. The kid must have been out of his mind to not only apply to go to college, but to actually think that John would even consider letting him go.
"You have to let me go. This is my chance to live a normal life."
"Sammy, Azazel is still after you and isn't going to let up because you turned eighteen," John said calmer than he thought possible.
"In order to control me, Azazel has to have Kae and if you keep her safe than I'll be safe."
"So you want me to lock Kae away somewhere, so you can have a normal life?" John asked. He knew it was a low blow, but was grasping at straws right now.
"I'm not saying that. You know how to keep her safe and by doing that, you're keeping me safe."
"You're leaving is going to give Azazel the upper hand and you know it. I can't believe you're being this selfish!"
"I'm not being selfish. I want to be like everyone else. Normal eighteen year olds go to college."
"You're not normal, Sammy."
"You're right I'm not, because most eighteen year olds aren't smart enough to get into Stanford on a full ride."
"That wasn't what I meant Samuel, and you're right most eighteen year olds aren't as smart as you. They wouldn't be able to research the way you do or fight the way you do. You're amazing in so many different ways, you shouldn't have to do this," John tried.
"Dad, please let me do this. I promise if you need me I'll always be available to do research and if you really need me I can go on hunts on the weekend. I'll still be there for you."
"Being hunter isn't a part time gig, Samuel. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that."
"I'm not a hunter and I don't know how many times I have to tell you that!" Sam snapped.
"Dad…" Kae interrupted.
"Kaelyn, this doesn't concern you," John snapped.
"Then don't use me to keep Sammy here. If he wants to abandon us, let him," Kae said between tears.
Sam walked over to the crying eleven year old and picked her up,
"Kae, I'm not abandoning you. I'm always going to be there for you, I promise."
"No you're not. How are you going to be there when you're thousands of miles away?" Kae said crying hard.
"Trust me Kae, miles aren't going to be a problem. No matter where you are I can get there in about four hours. Unlike Dean, I'm not afraid to fly."
"What about money, Samuel? I can't afford to give you money so you can attend Stanford, I barely have money enough as it is," John spat ignoring the brief conversation that occurred between his daughter and son.
"It's not like I don't know how to pull credit card scams, Dad. Shit I'm the one running them for you right now. Plus, my scholarship provides room and board which includes food. I can also get a job around campus to help with other expenses."
"Samuel, you're not going. It's too dangerous and that's my final word on the subject."
"Dad, I am going, in fact I'm leaving in an hour. So you better get used to the idea pretty fucking quick."
"What were you too chicken shit to tell me when you got the acceptance letter?"
"No, I didn't want to live with you bitching and moaning about my…Fuck…Dad!"
John decided that maybe actions would speak louder than words, so he forced Sam over the chair and landed twenty hard swats.
"Listen up Samuel; you're not fucking going anywhere. In fact you're grounded, so get your ass in your room, now!" John growled.
"I'm eighteen and I'll do what I want. If you're too chicken shit to live without me, that's your problem!" Sam yelled back, losing his temper completely at this point. It was his life, not his fathers, the man had no right to try and make him stay.
John didn't say another word. He just took off his belt and forced Sam over the chair again. This time landing fifteen swats. To Sam's credit he didn't shed a tear and didn't make a sound.
"Are you finished?" John asked without letting his youngest son up.
"Not by a long shot. You can beat me black and blue, but I'm still going whether you like it or not."
John's answer was ten more swats.
"I'll ask again, are you finished?"
"No I'm not!" Sam said through gritted teeth.
"Dad! That's enough," Dean said when he saw his father pull back his arm for another round. Dean knew his Dad wasn't in control of his emotions right now and was probably hitting Sam with a lot harder than he normally would. Dean also knew that his Dad would hate himself in the morning if he actually did beat Sam, black and blue.
John looked over at his other two children. They were staring at him in shock. He took a breath and said,
"You're making a choice here, Samuel. It's us or school. I hope you make the right one, because if you leave, don't ever come back," John spat angrily as he stormed out the house slamming the door in the process.
John turned on the truck and slammed it into gear. He had to leave right now or he would do something else that he would regret. He couldn't believe that he just told his son that disowned him for wanting to go to college. If someone had asked him eighteen years ago about how he would feel if one of his children got into Stanford, he would have said he would be over the moon with pride. When he thought about it, he was so proud of Sammy right now. To be able to keep his focus on school after everything he'd gone through and to get into a caliber of school like Stanford, was amazing.
He wanted to walk back into the room and apologize, but the more he thought about it the happier he was with his decision. This was Sammy's time and he was going to let his son have it. Sure he was scared to death just thinking about Sammy being out there on his own, but Sammy needed this.
John pulled off the next exit and pulled into a bar. He sat at the bar and sent a prayer up to Mary to keep their baby boy safe. He also knew that minute Sam was settled, he would insure that his son lived in a fortress against the supernatural.
End Flashback
John was pulled out of his thoughts when his phone rang.
"Winchester."
"So did you find out where my favorite brat was hiding out?" Bobby asked.
"Two guesses."
"Don't need um. She's with Sammy right?"
"Stole the Impala right under Dean's nose," John chuckled.
"One thing's for sure that kid has guts."
"Tell me something I don't know. Anyway, I'm heading up to Stanford now to make sure every things ok."
"Are you going to get your head out of your ass and apologize to your son?"
"Bobby, this is Sammy's time. You know the kid will feel guilty unless he can blame his abandonment on me. Well, I'm letting him have this. The minute he graduates, I'll tell him how wrong I was and beg him to forgive me."
"It's your life. So are you brining my favorite little girl up or are you moving on?"
"Not sure yet. Is the offer still there?"
"Kae, Dean, and Sammy always have an open invitation. You, not so much."
John chuckled and said,
"I'll call you in a couple of days."
"Don't be too hard on my favorite little girl."
"She's going to get exactly what she deserves for pulling this little stunt."
"That's what I'm afraid of you idjit," Bobby said before hanging up the phone.
John shook his head and wondered what he ever did to have that great of a friend.
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Kae hated the corner. Hated it with a capital H. Sure standing there looking at the wall wasn't hard to do, but she'd never been good at standing still or keeping quiet and to make matters worse she was bored within seconds. As she stood there she thought about what she should do next. She knew Dean and Sam would kill her if she used her new ability, but this was about Sammy's safety. Why couldn't they all realize that and let her do what was needed?
The more Kae thought about the angrier she was with herself. Why did she always feel the need to tell Sammy the truth? All she had to do was keep her big mouth shut and no one would've been the wiser about this new ability, but for some reason, Sammy was like some sort of truth serum and she could never keep things from him. She sighed as she listened to her brothers talking in the other room, she knew that she was going to say something and that Sammy or Dean were going to get pissed and her ass was going to hurt even more than it did right now.
"Dean, she's going to use her new ability so you need to head up to Bobby's, I don't care what Dad says."
"Sammy, what if she's right and they're here? Azazel could always change his mind and take you instead of Kae. She's right about one thing; he's always wanted you more than her. You're older and stronger. Sure she's had her abilities longer, but you're a fast learner and you would do anything to keep her safe, even taking her place."
"You know it's true," Kae yelled from the corner.
"No talking in the corner, Kaelyn," Dean said quickly, but knew the kid wasn't going to shut up.
"Dean, this concerns me too."
"It might but I'm not asking your opinion so shut your cake hole and follow corner rules," Dean said harshly.
"Dean, I get that you're still pissed about the Impala and I'm sorry I took the stupid thing, but you need to let me be a part of this not only the conversation, but keeping Sammy safe."
"Kaelyn, I'm not telling you again. Shut your damn mouth or you're going back over my knee."
"That's not fair. I'm just trying to help."
Sam looked at his brother and decided to save his little sister from his brother's wrath. He could tell Dean was getting angry and Kae was seconds from taking another trip over his knee again.
"I got this, Dean," Sam said walking towards the living room. He turned his sister around and said,
"Come on Kae. Let's go."
"Why?" Kae asked, her voice shaking a little bit. She couldn't handle another spanking right now. Her ass was still throbbing and on fire from Dean's.
Sam didn't say a word; he just took her hand and walked back towards his bedroom. The minute they were inside he pointed to a chair next to the desk and said,
"Sit."
Kae didn't bother saying that she wasn't a dog, because she didn't want the swat that usually followed the comment. She also wanted a chance to convince her older brother to let her stand, so being a smartass wouldn't be the way to go right now.
"Sammy, please let me stand."
"Nope," Sam said.
"You're mean," Kae pouted as she sat down and tried to find a comfortable position which was absolutely impossible after the royal ass roasting Dean delivered less than thirty minutes ago.
Sam walked back to his closet and pulled out a duffle. Kae was surprise to see that he had two duffels that look packed and ready to go.
"Sammy, what's with the two packed duffels?"
"In case I need to leave suddenly or defend Jess and myself against the supernatural."
"What does Jess have to say about that?"
"She doesn't know."
"What do you mean she doesn't know? They're sitting right there in plain sight."
"My backpack is usually on top of it and she really isn't one to snoop, unlike someone else I know," Sam said giving his little sister a quick smile.
Sam opened the first duffle and Kae smiled brightly. It was the one she packed for him the day he left for Stanford. That had been one of the hardest days of her life. She begged him not to go, but Sam said it was time and that she would be fine. He was right, but she still wished he hadn't left her. She'll never forget that night as long as she'd live.
Flashback
Kae knew she shouldn't have been shocked when Sam announced he was going to school. She had watched him fill out every college and scholarship application and went with him when he mailed them off. She was even there the day Sam got the acceptance letter telling him he got into Stanford, his dream school. He was so excited, that they took the emergency money and they went out to dinner. He made Kae promise not to tell Dean or their father and she did because she honestly never thought he would leave her.
What did shock Kae was their father's reaction. She knew John would be pissed and wouldn't want Sam to go, but she never thought he would disown him. Kae watched in shock as her father stormed out of the house.
"Sammy, I think he means it," Dean tried.
"That's his problem, Dean," Sam said wiping the tears from his eyes. He knew his Dad would be pissed but he couldn't believe his father had actually disowned him. "I have to go pack."
Dean looked over at Kae and his heart broke seeing the tears that were traveling down her face. He went over and picked her up,
"It's going to be ok."
"Sammy's leaving. How is it going to be ok?"
"It just will. Come on, we need to let Sammy know that we're behind him," Dean said putting her down and holding out his hand.
Kae took his hand and walked with him into the boy's room.
"Dean, I'm going…"
"I know Sammy and I understand why you want to do this. I'm not happy about it, but I'm you're big brother and it's my job to be there for you, so that's what I'm going to do."
Sam smiled brightly at Dean and turned his eyes to his crying little sister.
"Come on, you remember how happy I was when I got in, please be happy for me."
"I'm happy for you, but I don't know what I'm going to do without you."
"Get in more even more trouble," Sam teased.
"No my partner in crime's leaving me."
"I think you can find trouble on your own."
"Hey, don't encourage her. I'm going to be on my own now," Dean teased.
Kae smiled at both of her brothers before looking at what Sam was packing.
"Sammy, I'm not letting you go unprotected," Kae said firmly.
"Kae, I want to live a normal life."
"And I want you to live. So if you're going, you're going prepared."
Dean did everything in his power not to laugh, he totally agreed with his little sister, but knew if he suggested it Sam would've balked at the idea. Kae could always make Sammy do things easier.
"Alright kiddo," Sam said throwing her a bag.
Kae made sure he had everything he needed to be protected against the supernatural. Sam took the bag gladly and put it into the trunk of the Impala. They drove to the bus stop in silence. Kae tried to do everything in her power not to cry, but was failing miserably. She was about to lose her best friend in the entire world and she didn't know if she could live without him.
When they pulled into the Greyhound Station, Sam got out of the car, got down to Kae's level, and took her hands,
"You better do all of your homework. Dean's going to mail me your report card every quarter and if I don't see straight A's, Dean's driving you up so I can beat your ass. Got it?"
"Ok," Kae said looking down.
"I also want you to promise me that you won't use your abilities without Dean or Dad."
"Ok."
"That's not a promise, Kaelyn."
"I can't promise that Sammy, I don't like lying to you and it would be a lie."
"You have to promise or I'll worry all the time," Sam tried.
"Ok, I promise to try."
"Kaelyn."
"Sammy, I don't want to promise that."
"Come on Kae, it's not that hard. Please."
"Ok, I promise."
"Next I need you to promise to tell Dean right away if you get a new ability."
"Ok, I promise."
"Finally, I need you to promise that you'll never ever fight a demon alone."
"Ok, I promise."
"Try and listen to Dean and Dad, ok?"
"Ok."
Sam finally pulled her into a strong hug and said,
"I love ya kiddo."
"Love you too."
Sam looked at his brother and said,
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I knew you would've talked me out of it and I really need this Dean. Please don't be mad at me."
"I'm not mad; I'm just worried about your safety. I know you're going to be a little bitch and not want Dad to pay for anything after what he said, so this is my phone and I'm paying for it. If you don't answer it every time I call, I'll kick your ass. I expect you to call at least twice a week even if we call you more. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, sir," Sam said with a bright smile.
"Keep Dad's phone too and promise me that you'll give the man a chance to apologize."
"I will," Sam said.
Sam gave both of his siblings a hard hug and climbed onto the bus. That was when it finally hit him, he was leaving home. Tears started falling down his cheeks, because even though he hated their lives he loved his family, even his stubborn as shit father.
Dean picked up a sobbing Kae and drove her back to the motel. They were shocked to see the truck sitting there.
"Sam gone?" John asked when they walked into the motel.
"Yes sir," Dean said.
"I can't believe you said that to him. What if he never comes back?" Kae said starting to cry again.
John walked over and picked her up,
"Kae, I made a mistake and someday I'll tell him so."
"Why not today?"
"Because it's not the time."
"So you'll do it tomorrow?" Kae asked tears still falling.
"No baby, I'll do it when I think the time is right and not a minute before."
"I think you're wrong," Kae said honestly.
"I know you do and I'm betting Dean does too, but I have my reasons so you'll just have to live with it."
END Flashback
"You still have it," Kae said pointing at the bag.
Sam gave her a smile and said,
"Of course I do."
"Sammy, I know you're mad about Jess, but like that bag I only did it to protect you."
"Kae, come here," Sam said sitting on the bed. Every time he looked at that bag he thought about the night he left and how hard it was to leave her and Dean behind. He pulled her onto his lap before saying, "I know, you were trying to protect me, but as always you didn't think about protecting yourself. You realize that you broke every promise you made the night I left for school, just this week alone?"
"Yeah, but I told you I didn't want to make those promises. I know what I'm doing and I'm always careful Sammy," Kae pouted.
"Alright if you really believe that, answer the following questions. When did you get your new ability?"
Kae groaned she got the ability right before Azazel started coming after her again and if she told Sammy that, he would probably forgo the exorcism lines and pick up where Dean left off.
"Kaelyn, I asked you a question and I expect an answer."
"Ok, about four months ago," Kae said looking down.
"When did Azazel send his minions after you?"
"Around the same time."
"And you wonder why we get pissed when you use a new ability," Sam said rolling his eyes.
"Sammy, why is it that I'm getting abilities all the time and you haven't developed any yet?"
"I honestly don't know. I wish I did and I wish you didn't have to go through all of this, but that's just how it is."
Kae leaned into Sam and said,
"Please don't make me go to Bobby's. I'll go crazy in that dungeon especially if I'm not sure you're safe."
"Kae, look at me. You have to promise to listen to me if I let you stay. I mean really listen, not your usual half assed listening. Being together could make this easier for Azazel to get us. You're right he hasn't gone after me yet, because he doesn't have you. The only way that son of a bitch will ever have control over me is if he has you. So if you're really worried about keeping me safe, you have to keep yourself safe too."
"I will Sammy, I promise."
"Kaelyn, I mean it."
"I know Sammy."
Sam smiled at her and said,
"You know, it's really hard to stay mad at you."
"Because I'm so sweet?"
"No, because you're such a pain in the ass," Sam teased. "Come on, Dean's probably wondering where we are."
Dean watched his younger siblings walk back into the kitchen and smiled. He knew Kae would talk Sam out of the punishment lines and to be honest he was happy about it.
"So how many beers is that," Kae teased.
"Three and be happy about it because I'm still pissed about your taking my car and talking back to me. I should send your ass back to the corner," Dean said trying not to smile.
"Come one Dean. I said I was sorry about taking the Impala and taking off. Plus you roasted my ass good, I don't think I'll be able to sit comfortably for at least a week and Dad won't give me that long to recover, so I won't be able to sit for even longer. So will you please give me a break? Pretty please with sugar on top," Kae begged giving him her best puppy dog eyes.
"Come here," Dean said.
Kae walked over to her brother and Dean pulled her into a hug.
"Why is it you can piss me off beyond all recognition and ten minutes later all I want to do is hug you?"
"Because I'm your favorite little sister, who can do nothing wrong," Kae teased.
"Except steal my Impala, take off on me, swear like a sailor, get suspended from school and not listen worth a damn."
"Well there's that, but my sweetness makes up for it," Kae said giving him a huge smile.
Dean smiled back at her before looking at his brother and asking,
"So what's your decision on letting Kae meet some of your friends?"
"Not right now. I have class and you need to get some sleep."
"But Sammy…" Kae interrupted.
"Kaelyn, I can't miss my afternoon class because I have a test. It's bad enough that I missed this morning."
"Can I come to class with you?" Kae asked. "Azazel used a teacher for me this time and your Professor might be possessed."
"You can't come to class with me. That's not how it works in college. I'll be ok, I promise."
"Fine, but you better leave when the rest of the class leaves," Kae warned.
"I will don't worry. Kaelyn, look at me," Sam said firmly. The minute he was sure he had her full attention he added, "I'm going to class and you're going to sit here and watch TV. Wait do you have any homework?"
"Nope, I didn't bring my textbooks with me," Kae said smiling.
"But I did. Wasn't that thoughtful of me?" Dean said smiling.
"Not really. Where are they?" Kae asked, knowing better than to fight Sammy about doing her homework ever. She learned that lesson a long long time ago.
"Next to my duffle, go get them and get to work kiddo."
Sam and Dean watched as she walked over to the table and started her homework, standing at the kitchen counter.
"Think Dad's going back there?" Sam whispered.
"Probably not, but it won't hurt her to do a little homework."
"Alright, get some sleep. You're not Dad so you need to have a few hours to function," Sam said smiling.
"Be a good boy and listen to your teachers, Sammy," Dean teased.
"I'll see ya in a few hours. Kae, I'm serious do not take one step out of this apartment unless you seriously don't want to sit for a month."
"I won't, I promise Sammy," Kae said giving him a huge smile.