"I take it you're not interested in the premium channels?"

"There's only one thing I'm interested in right now."

Man, what I would give for that to be true. Just thinking about it makes this whole undercover thing that much harder. We're supposed to pretend to be married. Pretend. You know, after my childhood, I'm not so keen on pretending anymore. Yet, I find that I have to do it time and time again. Oh well. It's part of the job, but damn she looks hot right now.

"Would you like me to have the maid make up the bed for you, sir?"

"Oh, that won't be necessary."

Ha! McGee thinks we actually did something. Obviously, he doesn't know Ziva that well. I think she would kill me if I really tried something with her. But, hey, like I'm going to inform him of that. I'll just play it up and let him think what he wants. After all, when you're undercover you are living in secrecy, right?

"But the night's just getting started, my little hairy butt."

Whoa. Hold on just a second. Little hairy butt? Seriously? Does she know that Gibbs can hear her? What's she trying to do? Humiliate me in front of everyone? Okay, yeah, I called her sweetchecks first, but that's a nice nickname. Little hairy butt is not nice. Actually, I'm kind of insulted by that.

Ugh, when this started I was rather excited by it. Now, I just can't wait for it to be over. Spending this much time with Ziva is either going to drive me crazy or kill me, the second being my first choice right now.

"Sophie!"

"What?"

"Nothing. I thought I heard something."

For crying out loud!! She sleeps with a gun in her hand tucked under her pillow! Is she crazy? I want out. Right now. I'm not staying in a hotel room with a chick as weapons crazy as her. This is nuts.

This is Gibbs. He must be mad at me or something. Why else would be make me risk my life? Okay, yeah, I'm willing to risk my life in the line of duty, but last time I checked I didn't agree to risk my life by simply sleeping in the same bed as my partner. I'm never going undercover with her again. At least, not until Gibbs tells me to again.

"I'm pregnant, Tony."

Seriously?! Could she have picked any worse of a time to tell me that? Of course, I know she's talking about the mission, but Maya doesn't. Way to go, Ziva. She just ruined a perfectly good date for me. Doesn't she realize that all this acting is sure making me want to get out there? She's just playing me and I'm not finding it amusing in the least.

"Something wrong?"

"Just trying to picture you pregnant."

"Don't."

"I have to. I'm gonna be a father. It's a great responsibility."

"Maybe it's not yours."

Even though we're just pretending I don't like that statement. For some reason a part of me doesn't like the idea of Ziva being pregnant with a kid that isn't mine. That's not even rational. Ziva isn't pregnant. Sophie was. I shouldn't even be thinking about that.

But, I wonder what she would be like as a mother. I know she's an assassin and everything, but something tells me there is a softer side to Ziva; one that would be a great mother. You know, now that I think about it, I can picture a nice little house somewhere, a couple a kids and Ziva to come home to. Really, it doesn't look that bad.

Whoa! What are you doing DiNozzo? That's your partner and that's all she is. Stop thinking about her like that. Man, if she knew what was going through your head right now… Well, you wouldn't be alive for much longer; much less ever be a father.

"If they resist; shoot the woman."

Like hell he's ever going to shoot her. I'll die first.

"I might have a plan."

"Might?"

"The Raniers obviously stole something they want. You're going to give it to them."

"We don't have it."

"You're going to tell them it's in our hotel room. The only way they'll find it is if you show them. McGee should be waiting for us in there."

"Good plan, except for one minor drawback."

"What?"

"When I leave, they'll most likely put a bullet through your head."

"Oh, well, I didn't say it was a perfect plan."

Yeah, I was really hoping she wouldn't think of that. But, of course she would. She's an assassin too, she knows how they work. Still, I was hoping. I have to get her out of here. My number one priority is to keep her safe. She's my partner and she comes before me. That's just how it works. She knows that. I hope she just does what I say.

She won't. But I can hope.

"Enough, enough, Tony. I think you made your point."

"I want a divorce."

Hell, I never want to be married again. Seriously, if I have to go through all of this for a fake wife, what the hell are they going to want me to do for a real one? I'm done. No more committed version of Tony. Nope, I'm a short-term kind of guy and I plan on staying that way. There is no woman on the face of the planet worth almost getting killed over. Not even Ziva.

"And I'm driving you home."

Um... Yeah right. I want to live.

"All right, I'm good."

Yeah, not so much. Ziva just ran up and put her arm around my waist. You know, she really has been acting like she cares about me. Like she's sorry for what happened. Yeah, I really doubt it. Trained assassins don't care when someone gets beat up.

She starts to walk me to the elevator though and I begin to think that maybe, just maybe she does.

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Sorry it took so long for me update here guys. I just started a new semester and my schedule is crazy. I promise to try to keep up on it a little more though. Thanks for all the great reviews I keep getting. You are all awesome!!