The Fall of Bageltown

It was a perfect day. All of the bagel-people were celebrating life, love, friendship, and just about everything nice. They all gathered around the town square in Bageltown, where their esteemed mayor was frolicking about. His chortle, while silly, perfectly described the overall mood of the citizens.

"Why hello there, young fellow!" shouted Mayor Exdeath to a child, "How are you this fine afternoon?"

"I feel great!" exclaimed the bagel-child. As he ran off toward his friends, Exdeath felt a shiver of doubt run down his spine. Something was off, but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Is something wrong, sir?" asked a concerned citizen. Exdeath quickly snapped out of his less than pleasant thoughts.

"Why there is absolutely nothing wrong!" he said. "Come now, let us sing!"

And with that, Exdeath and the bagel-people marched over to the First Church of the Void. The town lookout seemed to be more than eager to join in, to the point of suspicion. Mayor Exdeath quickly drew him from the crowd to speak to him in private.

"Now, now!" started Exdeath, "We'll be singing again later when you're off the afternoon shift! I appreciate your enthusiasm…"

"But sir!" interrupted the lookout, "A large army is heading toward the town gates!"

Exdeath became silent, and turned away from the bagel-person. How can this be? he thought to himself, no one would want to hurt innocent bagels! That's preposterous! Turning back toward the lookout, Exdeath offered a possible explanation for the appearance of the army.

"It's probably just our friends, the Kingdom of Bacon!" he said, "They must have wanted to join in on the fun!"

Just after he finished, there was a loud crash at the town gate. All of Bageltown fell silent. Exdeath ordered the lookout to gather the town militia, as he dashed off toward his house to collect his trusty bayonet. Better safe than sorry, he thought.

It was late afternoon, and the militia of Bageltown was gathered in front of the town gate, weapons at the ready. At the front of the force was Exdeath, who was worried sick. The town had never seen a dangerous situation since it was founded. Would this ragtag group of soldiers be enough to protect the town? There was only one way to find out…

"Release the lock!" commanded Exdeath. Three of the younger soldiers took up this task, struggling against the heavy wooden mechanism. Once unlocked, the door slowly opened downward, preventing the army from being seen. There was a definite feeling of doubt in the air, but Exdeath tried with all of his might to ignore it.

Once the door was half open, a voice speaking in an inhuman tongue cried out. Exdeath shivered at the voice; it sounded as if the speaker were trying to talk underwater. Mayor Exdeath commanded the fighting force of Bageltown to prepare their arms.

As the door's movement slowed down to a complete halt, the enemy could be seen clearly. They were amorphous blobs of water, with beady black eyes floating about inside. The water creatures were somehow holding spears, swords, guns, and other fiendish devises. Cruel malice could be seen in their unearthly eyes.

There was a long moment of inaction between the two armies, with the air becoming increasingly intense around them. A shot fired; with this, the soldiers of both sides charged at each other. The fight was intense and frightful; Exdeath couldn't see the battle unfold clearly, causing him to panic. A water blob jumped at him, its spear aimed at him. Exdeath, through either fierce determination or blind luck, stabbed the blob before it could do any harm. POP! The foe exploded in a burst of cool mist.

The large amount of exploding water monsters did not encourage Exdeath; it was a sign that the army was too large to be managed by the militia. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a blob touching an empty bagel-house, causing it to become soggy. It collapsed under the pressure of gravity, crushing two bagel-people and three water blobs. Exdeath stared at the spectacle in horror; even more horrifying was the survival of the water blobs, which oozed out from underneath the damp rubble.

Behind him, a cannonball hit the ground, knocking Exdeath to the ground. As he got up, he noticed that his hands were warm and wet. He slowly brought them up to his face; they were covered in the butter of the innocent bagel-people. He clenched his hands into fists, and observed the carnage that lay before him. All of Bageltown was in ruin; there were dead bodies and destroyed houses as far as the eye can see.

Exdeath slumped down on his knees, and looked up toward the sky. With the last energy in his body, he shouted at the heavens. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Exdeath's eyes popped open; all he could see was his plain, white ceiling. It was all just a dream, he thought to himself, a horrible one, but a dream nevertheless. He shifted onto his side and tried to get some more sleep. He couldn't.

"And how does that make you feel?" asked the psychiatrist. Exdeath was lying upon a nice, comfy sofa, explaining his dream to the doctor. I can't shake the feeling that there's something fishy about this guy, Exdeath thought. It turns out that he was right, for the psychiatrist was a strange, purple octopus with goofy teeth. He was, at the moment, wearing a fake mustache. On the wall was a fake PhD, haphazardly scribbled in crayon, which had the name "Docktur Ultros" in large letters on it. "Is something the matter, Mr. Eath?"

"Wha-?" said Exdeath, snapping out of his thoughts, "Oh, uh… the dream made me feel angry. And stuff."

"Hmm, I see," replied "Docktur" Ultros, writing down something that seemed to be important. In actuality, he was drawing a picture of a cat winning a go-kart race. "Well, here's what I suggest you do: find the person who made the soggy bagel and kill them."

Exdeath leaped onto his feet. "That's it! Thanks, doctor!"

Once he left, Ultros took off his mustache, giggling madly. "Heeheehee! Nothing splits my sides more than a hit man sending some poor sucker to do his dirty work! Especially if that hit man is me, and that sucker is Exdeath!"

Author's Notes: Poor Exdeath. Having emotionally scarring dreams are bad enough, but being manipulated by some dweeb is even worse! As always, send in your reviews!