Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who read and reviewed! I would have answered your reviews, but for some reason ffn wouldn't let me :/

Well, this chapter is waaaay more OOC than the first one (I mean really, they would never act like this on the show)... But oh well :P
(and didn't proof read this one either.. I REALLY need to start doing that!)

Enjoy!

A few days later, Gibbs managed to finally end up having a moment alone with Ziva, despite how much he'd tried to avoid it. But since DiNozzo had ended up getting sent home because he was too sick to be at work – his constant coughing was driving all of them insane – and McGee was busy doing whatever it was he did with Abby when they did their computer magic, he'd ended up having to go with his single female field agent to follow up on a lead 2.5 hours outside of DC.

He would have to admit that generally he would prefer being accompanied by Ziva on these long trips simply because much like him, she wasn't a talker, and he would go crazy having to listen to DiNozzo's random movie quotes or McGee's nervous babbling.

But today was different. Being alone in a car with her he really felt the need to talk to her about what had transpired in his basement a few days before, despite how much he wanted to stay out of it. He just wasn't sure whether it was for Ray or Ziva or even his own sanity, but he somehow felt that it would be like lying to Ziva or going behind her back if he didn't let her know.

"Agent Cruz sho…"

"Please Gibbs, not you too." It wasn't the fact that she cut him off instantly that surprised Gibbs, but rather the disbelief that was so clear in her voice as she practically chuckled her reply. When Gibbs just raised an eyebrow questioningly, Ziva dismissingly shook her head. "Tony already tried talking to me." She turned her gaze back to the book in her hand, clearly done with the unwanted conversation, but Gibbs wasn't as quick to let it go.

"Oh yeah?" Gibbs wasn't really surprised that DiNozzo had tried to get Ziva to open up about it, and as intrigued as he was about what he might have said, he really just hoped that he hadn't been all joking and teasing about it, because he was sure that was the last thing Ziva currently needed. A sigh and an eye roll warned him that he was likely getting a response, even though she never looked away from her book.

"Yes." It took multiple seconds of Gibbs staring her down before she reluctantly closed her book, her finger still in place so she could find the page again later. "He gave me the 'he was sworn to secrecy' speech." The team leader took a few moments to think this over, but was relieved to note that his companion hadn't returned to her book yet but was rather staring out the window. And that was the only indication she gave that she was actually hurt, whereas she'd acted as if nothing had happened up until this point.

"He came to my house a few nights ago." Her head snapped towards him the second the admission left his mouth, and Gibbs heard the unmistakable sound of a sharp intake of air. It took quite a while and more than a few times of opening and closing her mouth before Ziva managed to respond.

"Why are you doing this, Gibbs?" Her voice sounded tortured and it pained Gibbs more than he'd like to admit.

"Because you can't keep on running, Ziver." He knew tough and rational would work better on Ziva than emotional and sympathetic, plus from what he'd seen so far from both Ziva and Ray's reactions, she was once again trying to deal with a problem by completely burying it and pretending it didn't exist.

"I am not running from anything, Gibbs, because there is nothing to run from." She made it sound so plain and simple that Gibbs almost felt tempted to believe it himself. Almost.

This time Ziva did open up her book to continue reading, clearly done talking, but Gibbs never left anything unfinished and he wasn't planning on starting now. So bracing himself for the onslaught of anger that was surely about to hit him he grabbed the book from her hands and tossed it onto the empty back seat, receiving a surprised and outraged look from the woman next to him.

"What the hell, Gibbs?"

"Do us both a favour and stop lying, Ziver." If he thought she'd looked mad before she looked absolutely pissed now, and he could just picture an upset teenage Ziva with that exact look on her face, arms crossed across her chest as she stomped off and slammed every door that dared be in her way. Although he plainly refused to consider what consequences actions like those might have brought her if her father was aware of how she acted.

"How dare you…"

"Agent Cruz sure gave me the impression that something happened to your relationship." He had wanted to stay as neutral as possible, not getting into any details, but he should have known that that wouldn't have been possible, least of all when dealing with someone as unwilling to talk and share any information as Ziva.

"Exactly. Agent Cruz. The relationship never existed." It was like all of her anger just evaporated with that last sentence, leaving her with what Gibbs thought sounded an awful lot like acceptance. And that was just like a powerful punch to the gut.

"Why, because he's CIA?" Ziva just laughed, completely unfazed by how he swerved to the side a car actually sticking to the speed limit.

"I would think that of all people you would not question the logic of that."

"There's always the odd exception." He answered with a shrug of his shoulders, not missing the confused and hurt look on Ziva's face. Gibbs wasn't surprised that she turned back to the window after that. But as much as he hated doing this he knew he couldn't just stop now, though, as all that would accomplish would be causing Ziva more hurt rather than actually helping as he was aiming for.

"Look, Ziva, we both know I usually don't do this, but…"

"Then don't." The empty look in her eyes and the sorrowful look on her face made her look so much younger, and Gibbs was painfully reminded about how young his newest team member actually was. She was younger than Kelly would have been had she still been alive, even if only by a few months.

"I was stupid to believe he could ever care about me in the first place." At first all Gibbs wanted to do was shake his head at how stubborn she was, since she obviously hadn't been listening to anything he'd said, but then her statement registered fully and it was her he wanted to shake. He was actually scared to think about what it might mean.

"Ziver…" He wasn't even sure where he was going himself, not knowing whether he felt more inclined to be yelling at her or engulfing her in a big hug, so he just let the sentence hang.

"You're a sensible, rational person, Gibbs. You cannot honestly tell me that it does not all make sense." It seemed that Ziva herself had taken on the anger, now practically screaming at her boss. "I'm a killer. A cold hearted, sociopathic murderer." As much as Gibbs wanted to hit something and scream at her and contradict her, the words were stuck in his throat from the shock of hearing her say that as he continued staring straight ahead, although no longer really seeing the traffic.

"I'm damaged goods, Gibbs. What man could possibly ever want me – my body – unless he was ordered to?" Seeming to realize how much she'd just shared with her boss, yelled at him in a moment of weakness, she abruptly turned back to her window while biting her lower lip, her eyes wide and glassy.

Gibbs had thought her previous exclamations had been bad but now he felt physically ill, having to force himself not to pull over to puke his guts out. He knew there were multiple different layers and meanings in what she'd just shared with him and all of them were equally horrifying. Not just the reference to how scarred her body was with both visible and invisible wounds, but how she believed herself to be broken beyond repair and incapable of being loved.

Gibbs realized with great displeasure that this wasn't about Ziva's trust issues nearly as much as it was caused by her obviously broken self-worth. Just how had he managed to miss this?

"Any sane man." The team leader was positive that it wasn't going to work even before the words had left his mouth and Ziva's snort confirmed that, but he truly just wished that for once she would see what he himself and everyone else saw. She was a beautiful person, and that didn't just cover her looks but her personality too. Not many people with her past and upbringing would be able to turn out nearly as well as she had, would have the strength and the morals to help people rather than turn crazy.

"Ziva, do you care about anyone?" That finally got her to turn around and look at him with disbelief written all over her face.

"How can you even ask that, Gibbs? You know I would give my life for any of you."

"Exactly! We both know how much you care, and not only for the people closest to you, so don't you dare ever believe that you are cold hearted or emotionless. And you are definitely not a sociopath! If you were you would still be blindly following your father's orders or more than likely have gone rogue by now." He knew that he himself sounded pretty angry now, and he was. He just hoped that Ziva knew it wasn't her per se he was mad at, but rather those ridiculous thoughts running around in her head and whoever and whatever had put them there in the first place.

For a while the younger woman seemed completely dumbstruck, just staring at the man next to her, old enough to be her father.

"Doesn't change the fact that I'm a killer." He knew it wouldn't be so easy to convince her, that one lecture wouldn't be enough but that she would need lots of time and continuous proof and confirmation before she herself would begin to believe it, and her attempt to hold on to her claims proved that.

"I know you don't like to trust people, Ziva, and I don't blame you, but trust me on this one. That guy is madly in love with you, and I think you owe it to yourself to at least hear him out before you shut him out completely."

"Why are you taking his side, Gibbs?" And she truly did seem more hurt and confused over this than the fact that Gibbs was trying to give relationship advice.

"Because I care about you, Ziva, and as much of a jerk as this guy might be or have been I saw how happy he made you. So yes, he might have screwed up, but I highly doubt he did it intentionally."

"That does not matter, Gibbs." He wasn't sure which part she was referring to, and he somewhat doubted that she even knew herself.

"I'm not telling you to trust him or anyone else completely; But Ziva, not every man out there has some secret agenda. They can care about you and love you despite how many scars might cover your body." The last sentence acted as a physical slap to her face, most likely because unlike the rest of his lecture she couldn't just block it out or deny it, and it was an unspoken rule that it was forbidden territory.

"You cannot know that."

"Would you care if he had a bunch of scars, or if any of your friends did?" She seemed completely taken aback by that question, clearly not having expected it or ever thought about it.

"No?" She sincerely didn't seem to see the importance of her answer, or even the question.

"Then why should it matter to him?" Ziva just shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, obviously not knowing what to answer, but it wasn't needed. Gibbs knew that for most of Ziva's life her body had been her most valuable weapon, so it only made sense how having it marked like she did would have that greater of an effect on her than it would on most other people.

"Well, to any proper man it should not mean anything. It doesn't make you any less beautiful." Ziva just returned to her position of looking out of the window at the cars they sped by, and Gibbs wasn't sure if she was embarrassed by what he'd said or just simply didn't believe him. But if he had to make a guess he would put his money on the latter of the two.

"Can you pull over at the next stop? I need to use the bathroom." Her voice sounded completely void of emotion, and Gibbs was certain that all she needed was to get away from him, if only for a few minutes. He didn't blame her, though, and it wasn't like there was anywhere she could go while being confined to the tiny space of a car with him.

"Sure." He didn't get any reaction from her, so he gently grabbed one of the hands lying in her lap in his own without taking his eyes off of the road, not surprised when she visibly flinched. "Just remember, Ziver, that you can't expect anyone to be completely honest and open with you if you don't let them in at all." Giving her hand a squeeze he retracted it just as he pulled in to a Starbucks. He needed a coffee, and the biggest one they had.

Feel free to leave a review on your way out :D (cause yes, I DO have one more chapter written so far)