I do not own The Hunger Games or any of the characters.
The anthem ends and Peeta and I are surrounded by Peacekeepers are led into the Justice Building. I know what will happen here and I dread it.
I am led into a small, plain room and left. I say plain, but I mean simple. It is the richest place I have ever been in. There is some incredibly soft and smooth-looking material covering the couches and chairs, but I do not know its name. I sit on the deep green couch and run my fingers across its perfect surface, enjoying the feel of this delightful material.
As I sit with my hands moving over the couch, I try to prepare for the hour ahead. It is the time given to friends and family to say good-bye. I do want to say good-bye, but I don't know if I can be strong enough. I am afraid that I will start bawling and go into hysterics or something and that will only make them worry more.
I take a deep breath and think of Katniss. I am sure that she will be here first and I know that she will be so angry with me, but I can't care. I am happy that she will be here to take care of Mama and to hunt with Gale. It is right that she remain here. I have many friends here, but she has a purpose here and that is more important. If she had managed to volunteer, I don't think that I could have filled her shoes. I can't hunt and I'm afraid of the Hob and all those rough people. Gale would just try to do everything by himself and never let me help. I may be twelve, but I'm not useless.
Katniss bursts in and interrupts my reverie. I can't help but think that she look beautiful with her black hair braided on top of head. Her grey eyes are flashing as she shuts the door behind herself and grabs me into a hug.
"How could you?" She hisses and I know that she is crying again. I am hugging her back clinging to her just as hard as she is grasping me. This is the last time I will see her and I know it.
"I couldn't let you die for me." I whisper back as my tears begin to flow.
"But I wouldn't have died! I could've won, Prim. I am strong and I know how to kill and how to defend myself. You're jus twelve! You hate killing! You-"
"It doesn't matter now." I cut her off. "I am going."
She pulled back from me, grabbing my shoulders until in hurt. "Primrose Everdeen, I cannot watch you die in a faraway place without being able to help you!"
I am dying inside. I do not regret not letting her volunteer, but watching her fight against my inevitable death is heart-breaking. "Just take care of Mama, okay? Don't let grief kill her like it almost did when Daddy died. It will mean that my death will be for nothing." Her grief has turned into anger and determination. "Katniss, please. Don't get yourself killed either."
She chuckles bitterly and then shakes me a little to emphasize her words. "You are not going to die! Do you hear me, Prim?" I stare back into her eyes, wishing that she could just let me go, but I know that she cannot. "You are small, so you have to be smart. Hide and run. Move every day. Don't build fires, or bring attention to yourself in any way. Let the others forget about you and kill each other. You just focus on staying alive, do you understand?" Her eyes hold mine with an intensity that I have not seen in her before.
"I'll do my best." I laughed half-heartedly. I don't even know how to build a fire without flint or matches. I am not a particularly fast runner. The only thing that I am good at is what Mama has taught me, healing. I then think of something. "Where is Mama?"
Katniss releases my shoulders and sits next to me, holding me close. "She tried to fight through the crowd of parents and to the stage when your name was called and she was knocked out."
I swivel so that I can see her face and ask, "Is she okay? Can I see her later?" The look in her eyes answers my question. It has happened before. A parent is so distraught that they aren't allowed to say good-bye in fear that they will cause a riot or something. I curl into her side even tighter and she wraps both arms around me. We sit like this for several minutes before we are interrupted by a Peacekeeper. She kisses my forehead and says, "Don't forger what I told you, Prim! Don't you give up!" and with that, she gone.
I dry the tears off my cheek and curl up in a ball on the couch. I don't let myself cry as I wait for my next visitor. I am afraid to let myself hope that I can survive. A girl of my size rarely survives the bloodbath and I don't think that any twelve-year-olds have ever won. Fear builds in me. I am not afraid to die, but I am afraid of what Katniss will do when she watches me die on television. Gale won't stop her then. He has always had a lot to say about the Capitol and he would probably help her do something to start a rebellion. How can I keep her from watching me die?
Gale strides in and pulls me up in his arms. He smells of the woods, musky and sweet at the same time. I know that he and Katniss were hunting earlier today and that makes me happy. I know that he loves her. I know he will care for her and my mama.
"I can't believe I let you go." He says quietly over my head. "I don't know why I stopped her." He sighs. "She'll never forgive me if you die."
"If…" It's not an if. It's when I die. I don't mean to give up. I'll do my best to survive, but the odds are not in my favor. I am too small and unskilled. "She'll forgive you. I know she will." I am silent for a moment. "Gale?"
"Yeah?"
"Make sure she doesn't do anything…stupid…when I die. I'm glad that I'm going to go and she is not, but that won't mean a thing if she goes and gets herself killed doing anything to anger the Capitol. Will you make sure?" I know what I am asking and I know that he will want to say no. He has always hated the Capitol and our servitude to them. When I was younger and he and Katniss returned from hunting, they were arguing loudly. He was shouting at her. Something about how the Capitol would pay and she was shouting for him to shut up.
"Prim….I won't be able to stop her if she gets an idea in her head."
I pull away from him sharply. "Well then make sure she doesn't get any ideas!" I say angrily! He is the only one who could stop her and I need him to do so.
He looks at me quietly for a moment. I know that he is thinking over all his options. I finally break his silence. "Consider it my dying wish." I say solemnly.
"No! You're not going to die! You can't just give up and let them kill you Primrose!" He glares at me now, all his older brother kindness gone. "It would kill your mother and drive your sister mad. Don't you dare give up! You fight!" He is nearly shouting at me.
"That's what Katniss said, too. But, Gale lets be honest. I am twelve. I hate killing things. I am useless in the forest. I am very small and not very fast. I have no skill with any weapons and know nothing of traps. How long do you think that I'll make it?" I murmur angrily. We both know that there are some districts where being in the Games is sought after honor, where kids train in order to be deadly in the arena. We both know that I don't stand a chance.
"I'm so sorry Prim!" I am shocked to see his eyes water. "I should've let Katniss volunteer or I should've volunteered and kept you alive in the Games. I'm so sorry!" I tear slips down his face and now I am comforting the only male figure in my life. "I'll make you a deal, ok? You fight your very hardest to stay alive. You do whatever it takes, even kill, but you stay alive and I promise you that I will make sure Katniss doesn't get into trouble, ok? Do we have a deal?" He is looking at me intently, waiting to see my response.
IWhat? That's not even a fair deal! I think angrily. If I die at the bloodbath, it will be quick and easy. If I stay alive awhile, some older kid could end up making my death slow and painful. It would be best if I just accept the fact that I will die in the first ten minutes and not allow myself to hope. But if I fight, Katniss will be kept safe. If I fight and die later, Gale will ensure that she doesn't go do anything rash. Yes, it is all for Katniss anyways. I realize that I am willing to do anything for the idol of my life, Katniss. I look up confidently, "Deal."
Right then, a Peacekeeper comes in and herds Gale out the door. I slump back onto the soft couch. I will never see any of them again and this makes me cry. I am so exhausted. I long to be in the bed I share with Katniss listening to her make death threats at my sweet cat. More than anything, I wish that I could see my mama, but I know that won't happen. The strange thing is that I can't even picture my mama fighting. She has always been sad and quiet with a dead look in her eyes. Never was she a fighter. It was Katniss who kept us alive and together, not my mama. Why had she decided to start fighting now? I didn't know.
My next visitor is unexpected, but not unwelcome. The baker looks older than he did yesterday when I went by to sell him some of my goat cheese. He must've just said good-bye to his son. Considering that his son and I will be fighting to the death, I am surprised that he came to see me, even though I know he likes me. He always gives me warm, fresh bread and sometimes more than two bits of cheese is worth.
He hands me a white paper bag that he has pulled from his coat. I open it to find cookies. I manage to smile at him and thank him. Only my second smile since my name was called.
He is not a talkative man, but he looks like he is about to cry. "I'll miss your fine goat cheese." He says.
I meet his gaze, "Will you make sure that Katniss and Mama keep getting food?" I know that he doesn't really know Mama because we live in the Seam, but through Katniss surely he can make sure that they keep fed.
"Of course I will Miss Prim." After that we are quiet until the Peecekeeper summons him out.
It is a short ride from the Justice Building to the train station. It is my first time in a car, but I am too numb, too shocked to enjoy it. When we arrive, the station is swarming with reporters and camera men. I catch a glimpse of myself on live television and I look just how I feel, shocked.
Peeta has been crying and doesn't seem ashamed of it. I wonder if he thinks that he is going to die, too. He has an honest chance, though, and I resolve to tell him so once I have the opportunity. He is big and strong and I know that he is clever.
We pause in the doorway so that the cameramen can get a shot of us and then door finally close and we are on our way to the Capitol.