The next day when Kurt gets to the bar, the sign reading "The Wolves' Deception" is unlit and the door is still bolted and chained. Fuck. I should have known he wouldn't take this seriously. Now what the hell do I do?

When Kurt turns and leans back against the door with a huff, reaching for his phone, the door rattles. He almost drops the phone in shock when he hears a voice yell out, "Who's there?"

Kurt stands up straight, looking around. He quickly spots a staircase leading down into what appears to be a storage area, only then noticing that the boxes littered outside the door aren't dirty, and are clearly filled with booze.

Kurt yells out, "It's me, Sebastian. I still need to talk to you."

A groan from down the stairs is shortly followed by, "Damn. I was hoping I was hallucinating last night and that you were a bad dream or something. Grab a box and get your ass down here then, but a small box. I can't afford for you to break a whole case."

Kurt glares before grabbing one of the heaviest looking boxes, quickly regretting it. Shit. Don't drop it. Don't drop it. Where's Dave when you need him?

As soon as Kurt makes it down the stairs he tries to nonchalantly put the box down near the door, hiding his wince. When he looks back up all he sees is Sebastian glaring at him before moving over to check the box over. Once confirming Kurt hadn't somehow silently dropped it and broken all the booze in the time it took to make it down the stairs, Seb huffs.

"What do you want?"

Kurt bites back a growl. "Why are you being such an asshole? I haven't said more than ten words to you in years. Please tell me you aren't still pissed off over stupid high school shit. I don't have the time for that kind of childish stupidity."

Sebastian just blinks at him slowly before saying, "You said you wanted to talk. Did you really come down here and interrupt my work to bitch about my attitude? I didn't know you cared."

"Of course not! But if we're going to work together, we need to not be biting each others' heads off. For one thing, you never told me anything about the place. I don't even know what time I'm supposed to be here tonight. I've always just come in when it got swamped."

Sebastian rolls a shoulder before turning his back on Kurt, moving to the back of the room. "Whatever. Be here by 7pm and you'll get off work at 3am, Thursday through Monday. You'll only be minimum wage at first, but as you've probably noticed, you'll get your money from tips, which are yours to keep or split with Puck and Sam. Considering they actually know what they're doing, I'd split it if I were you."

Kurt just glares but refuses to comment. "Fine. Now about those stupid costumes... there's no way in hell I'm wearing a cheap biker outfit. God only knows what other gems I have to look forward to. If you give me some... themes, or whatever, to work with, and some time, I'll make my own versions that are more... acceptable to me."

Sebastian rolls his eyes, grabbing and moving another box and stacking it. "Whatever, Your Highness. Each night we have a basic idea we work around, sometimes we switch it up, but there's a chart upstairs to tell you what to wear what night. The ones I remember are the biker you saw last night, a fireman, a cop, a construction worker-"

"Oh my god. Did you resurrect all of the Village People?" At Sebastian's snort, Kurt insists, "Seriously, you guys couldn't figure out something sexy without going full out stripper cliché?"

Seb shrugs, moving back toward the staircase. "Wasn't really our main concern. The tips prove that no one seems to care. Sorry if it's not to your tastes."

"Oh shut up. It's not about my tastes, it's about the level of thought and effort you put in. Why not just let us all wear what we want as long as it's 'sexy'?" Kurt glares at the back of his head. The asshole isn't even paying attention. "Ya know what, fine. Whatever. I'll check the chart tonight and start making something that suits that I would be caught dead in."

Seb shrugs again, moving back up the stairs. After a few seconds of debate, Kurt stomps after him. "What else do I need to know?"

Grabbing a heavy box, Sebastian moves past him, calling out as he goes down, "Those moves you pulled last night were fine enough for what they were, but you'll need to actually learn how to dance on a bar. Sam and Puck can teach you some in the lulls tonight, so come early. Just don't show up dressed as a nun."

Kurt comes down the stairs with another box. He bites his tongue, refusing to comment on the dirty joke his childish mind wants to make or the insinuation that he doesn't dress hot enough for the meerkat. "Fine. What else?"

Seb turns to look at him, noting the slightly smaller size of box and smirking. "Bartending. You don't need a license, obviously, but you will need to learn the drinks. You can't keep running to one of us when you don't know something. Get a book or something, shadow Elliot when you can, whatever. Just don't poison people and when in doubt, ask. Even if it's embarrassing, it's better than pissing off a customer or making someone sick when they didn't want to be."

Kurt just nods. He'd figured he'd need to learn more, as proven last night, he doesn't really know the first thing about working here. The few times before, he'd worked maybe half a shift and had really just been on beers and whiskeys, anything simple.

Deciding that he should go before Sebastian remembers some other form of torture, Kurt sets the box down and then turns back to him. "Okay... that should be enough for now. I'll come by around six tonight and see if Sam or Noah is around. I'm not sure what the theme is for tonight but I'll just throw on something somewhat revealing, since according to you, it doesn't matter."

Seb just scoffs before turning to face Kurt. "My only real question is what the hell possessed you to come here? I figured you'd run back to Ohio before 'stooping this low'."

Kurt just glares, stomping up the stairs again. "Shows how well you know me, doesn't it, Meerkat?"

That night, when Kurt rattles the door a few minutes before six, Puck lets him in with a smirk on his face. "Morning, Princess. Sleep well?"

Kurt scoffs, moving well away from the door before taking off his coat and accessories. It was only November, but he was already freezing. It's gonna be a long winter.

"You mean the four hours of sleep I got ten hours ago? Yeah. They were great." Kurt moves back behind the bar, stowing his outerwear near Elliot's station, figuring it would be the one that was never left unattended. He doesn't notice Puck's appraising look and cocked eyebrow.

"Got something to prove? You know he's not even up here yet, right?"

Kurt asks, confused, "What, the clothes? He told me not to dress like a nun, I didn't know what silly fucking costumes you guys would be wearing so I just dressed for a date."

"Really? That's what you wear on dates? How are you single?" Puck can't seem to stop smirking... or staring.

When Kurt turns around after making sure his coat is well hidden, he snaps, "Hey! Eyes up here! You're straight remember?"

"Whoa! You can't come in here in those pants and bend over and not expect people to look at your ass, Princess. And trust me, you don't have to be gay to appreciate that view. Now if that ass was attached to some lovelier, softer, parts... I would be able to do something about it. Alas, I'm just stuck with admiring from afar."

Kurt tugs his shirt down as much as he can and keeps his back turned away from the mohawked idiot he'd called a friend for over six years. "Great. I'm so glad I can keep you entertained with my ass. Can you please just show me some of the dance moves I'm supposed to learn. And when is Sam getting here? At least if I catch him staring, I'll know why."

Puck laughs, moving over to the radio on the back wall and finding a station. After landing on one a bit more classic rock than they usually play, Puck jumps up on the bar and waits for Kurt to join him.

Kurt uses the tiny footholds that had been built into the middle of the bar and steps up, grabbing Puck's hand when he almost falls down.

"Something else to work on, dude. Don't fall off the bar. We can't come get you if they haul you out into the middle thinking it was a stage dive. Well, Dave could, but let's not make him work extra."

Kurt glares, crossing his arms over his chest. "You're hilarious. Really, I couldn't be more impressed with this lesson already."

Puck just laughs and waits for the next song to start. As Kurt works his way through the next half an hour of 'lessons' he's strongly reminded of the week Sam had come back from Kentucky. He'd tried to teach all of them moves that he thought would win them sectionals. The resulting fight had been tense and unnecessary.

Wonder where this falls on Blaine's moral compass? His tune sure has changed. Well, maybe not. He's not dancing on the bar. So, what? He's not for sale, he's just the auctioneer? I'm still not really sure how this place came to be. Did Blaine just wake up one day and say, 'Oh, hey! I think I'll open a bar today!' And then just not have anything to do with it? He was around when everything was being set up, and he paid for everything, obviously, but he doesn't come here... he's sure as hell never worked here.

Sam comes in just as Puck is telling Kurt that what he really needs is another booty camp.

"Nothing wrong with his booty from where I'm standing." Sam takes off his coat, hanging it up on the hook by a liquor cabinet. When Kurt glances over at him, he groans.

"No. Come on, guys! Tell me you have better standards than this!"

Sam just laughs putting his hat on. "Sorry, man. We just wear what they tell us to."

Puck grins before saying, "On that note, I need to go change."

"Maybe we can spend the night arresting Kurt here for indecent exposure or something. Seriously? Those pants?" Sam shakes his head a little as he hops up and then walks down the bar. "Okay, so speaking of booty camp, I'm gonna teach you how to utilize that thing a bit more."

Heaving a sigh, Kurt turns to Sam, "Fine. But if Noah comes back in here singing 'Shake Your Ass', we'll still be down a dancer and you'll have to help me hide a body."

Kurt leans back on his hands, watching as Dave closes the door behind the stragglers from last call and debates whether he should stick around for a few minutes or escape the way he'd regretted not doing yesterday.

If Sebastian had run off as quickly as he had the night before, he might be tempted to ask everyone out for coffee or something to wind down. Since Seb is still there, wiping down the bar one more time, Kurt hops down off of it and goes to collect his stuff.

This time when Sam passes his share of the tips over, Kurt just smiles at him and shoves it in his pocket, throwing on his scarf and heading for the door. "Okay guys, I'll see ya tomorrow!"

Kurt almost rams face first into the door when Sebastian calls out, "Hey, wait a sec."

Slowly turning to face him, Kurt cocks an eyebrow and his hip and says, "Yes?"

Sebastian scowls at him. "Tomorrow, you need to wear something that matches Puck and Sam. You were lucky today was cops, so they could play it off, but really, that shit won't work everyday."

"Two things, meerkat. One, you didn't tell me last night or even this afternoon what they were dressing as so I couldn't have matched it. So today would have been on you. And two, I actually had a thought about the whole 'costumes' concept."

Groaning, Sebastian leans forward on the bar. "Oh god. What now?"

Kurt glares at him before moving to sit on an already cleaned section, crossing his legs. "Well, I think we can all agree that Sam, Puck, and I all have a very different body type. I may have picked up a bit more bulk but it's still no where near Sam's obsessive need to chisel his abs or Noah's worship of his own arms."

Sam, Puck, and Dave all move closer to sit or lean nearby, listening. Seb just stares at him blankly before replying, "Well, no shit, Nancy Drew."

Kurt glares but doesn't otherwise acknowledge him. "Is it really going to do anyone any favors if I dress the same way they do? If they have Sam's and Noah's muscles on display, wearing whatever it is they wear for construction, who's going to be checking me out by comparison?"

Sam clearly wants to interrupt, thinking Kurt is putting himself down so Kurt is quick to reassure him, "Sweetie, it's not that I don't think I'm attractive enough, I just call it like I see it. I'm not ashamed of my body, and I wouldn't kick someone who looks like I do out of bed, I just can't compare to you guys in muscle definition."

Seeing Sam and Puck nod slightly, like they're still afraid of hurting his feelings, Kurt rolls his eyes fondly and turns back to Sebastian.

Seb considers it for a minute before agreeing, "Alright, that's a good point. What do you want to do about it?"

Kurt grins, folding his hands on his knees. "Well, I still think that at least on two or three of the days, we should be allowed to dress in our own clothes, under the provision that we dress similar to how I did tonight." Seeing the disbelieving looks down at his fuzzy, overlarge scarf and his gloves, Kurt amends, "How I dressed to dance tonight. And obviously I wouldn't expect them to wear the same exact stuff, that would be weird on either of them. But I'm sure they could find their own take on how to dress sexy. Just imagine you're going on a date or to a club or something."

Sebastian looks to Sam and Puck. "Is that something you'd want to do? It's not like we're an actual strip club, and it was Blaine's idea to make you dress like that. Since he never comes in and I don't care, it's up to you guys."

Sam bites his lip before saying, "What if he does find out and doesn't like it?"

Sebastian shrugs, "Blame Kurt."

Puck and Dave laugh and Puck says, "Good point. It's not like he's been able to stand up to Kurt about anything since they broke up."

Kurt just smirks, "Well, with that settled, tomorrow I'll take you guys shopping and we can pick out some stuff. I'm sure you don't have enough, since I'm not sure I do either." When they just nod, Kurt continues. "The other idea I had was that if they are going to go for the muscled, ex-jock, meathead look, I could do an accompanying nerdy/polished look. Something that fits my body type better."

Dave frowns, "What would you accompany construction workers with?"

Smiling, Kurt says, "Well, I could be an architect, the job foreman, or just the client. I could wear douchey popped collars and Dockers." Kurt ends his statement giving Sebastian a very pointed look.

Sam cuts in, "I vote architect! I'm not sure you could pull off Seb's douchey look, but nerding it up with a suit and glasses? Hell yeah."

Kurt snorts, "Okay, that's fine with me. Architect it is. The fireman we should do away with completely, it's too cliché. Cop too, really. But I did come up with two replacement ideas." Kurt turns away from Sebastian, facing Puck and Sam. "We could totally take a stroll down memory lane. You two could wear football jerseys and I could find a male cheerleader uniform."

Kurt's surprised when it's Dave that responds, "Oh wow. Yeah, that's an awesome idea. You in that uniform..."

Kurt blushes. They don't really talk about the long dead crush Dave had on Kurt back in high school. And this is why. "Anyway..." Kurt coughs.

Sebastian just smirks at Dave, "Sure. I'll take your word on that. Whatever you guys want to do, I don't care. It'll be Kurt's fault."

Ignoring Sebastian, Kurt says, "The other idea I had was from junior year. Remember when Ms. Holiday helped us mash up 'Singin In The Rain' and 'Umbrella'? I'd like to have outfits based on that without the shirts. It's still pretty cliché but it's not on the level of firemen."

Puck grins, "Imagine if we did the whole thing? With the water? Dudes would flip their shit."

Kurt laughs, "As much fun as that would be, I'd be the only one able to sing the Rihanna parts, hardly seems fair."

Scoffing, Sebastian says, "No way. This is a bar, not a hotel lounge. No singing. The water thing maybe, though."

Kurt glares at him. "What's wrong with singing? Who knows, maybe we'd make even better tips? Isn't making money the whole point?"

"No one is going to pay to hear you belting out Rihanna. Save it for your shower."

Kurt's eyes narrow, "Everyone that works in this damn place can sing more than well enough for drunk idiots to appreciate, even Dave."

Dave's arms fly up defensively, "Oh hell no. Leave me out of this. I stand at the door and pretend I'm wearing a beret."

Kurt giggles. "Oh, hun. No one misses that beret. I'm not sure why you thought the best way to hide your sexuality was to wear a red beret and walk the gay kid to class, but you were wrong."

Ignoring Dave's mutters of 'fuckin Santana, never should have-' Sebastian cuts him off.

"On that note, I'm out of here. You guys can decide all costuming decisions, just don't wrap yourselves in bed sheets or expose yourselves. We don't need real cops in here either."

As Kurt watches Sebastian go, he wonders what would happen if he did suddenly start singing one night. It would almost be worth it to piss Sebastian off. Too bad he can't afford to lose this job. Best not to stress it for no other reason than, 'he's a dick'.

"Okay, guys. Meet me for coffee tomorrow and then we'll go get some clothes and maybe some fabric. I'm going to make the business-type tops for the rain routine myself, so they fit our purpose a bit better."

After receiving nods from them, Kurt heads for the door again, walking backward to say,

"Too bad Elliot takes off early, he totally would have backed me up on the singing."

The first couple weeks take a lot of adjustment for Kurt. Just suddenly going from waking up early in the morning for classes to not going to bed until four or five am is disorienting enough without everything else that's changed.

The architect costume went over surprisingly well, as did the football and cheerleader uniforms. They actually get the best response from wearing their own clothes though. Kurt's theory on that is that the customers like to see parts of their personality a bit more, and they can get that through the clothing choices. Not that he's said as much to anyone else.

They'd all adopted a bar persona that reflected their own personality, or at least one aspect of it. Puck was the Straight Badass. At first Kurt was confused about why they admitted that Puck was straight. If he was working in a gay bar, shouldn't he pretend to be gay? But actually, he was the favorite for about half of the people in there. Between gay guys that liked a 'challenge' and the women that get dragged there by their friends, Puck never caught any hell for it. In fact it made the times he danced with Kurt or Sam that much more popular, for some reason.

Sam was the All American Boy. He played up the jock angle and when they dressed in their military outfits, he was the feature. He had the clean-cut quarterback look down.

Kurt was surprised that he wasn't immediately shoved into the 'Innocent Virgin' role. After he'd made a comment about it during a lull one night, Elliot had laughed at him.

"Yeah right! After your first night here and grinding your ass against Puck and Sam all night? Not likely. No one believes the virgin thing anymore, no matter how innocent you look at first."

Kurt had actually been slotted into the Ice Bitch role. Sometimes he played innocent for a while, especially if he was playing to a crowd of mostly new people, but it only took one person trying to take advantage of his 'naivety' for the Ice Bitch to surface. He was surprisingly popular with his bitchiness. He'd even overheard Dave telling Elliot that it was his 'hot as hell, ice-bitch attitude' that had caused Dave to out himself in high school. Kurt had politely decided to pretend not to hear that.

Elliot, Sebastian and Dave also had minor personas, which were really just themselves. Dave was the Overprotective Bear, Elliot was the Boy Next Door, and Sebastian was the Preppy Douchebag.

Kurt and Sebastian managed to play nice, mostly because they avoided each other. Elliot, Sam and sometimes Puck, all tried to convince Sebastian to let them try singing, at least once. Kurt had given up after the first night. He knew how pointless it was to try to talk to Sebastian about anything.

He could tell that a fight with Sebastian was brewing, because they'd never managed to spend time together and not tear each other apart. He just hoped they didn't make a scene when it happened.

It was Kurt's tenth night working at the Wolves' Deception that finally broke their tenuous truce. It was fairly busy for a weekday, and Kurt was still learning the bartending side of things. He was using the weekends to work on dance moves and the weekdays learning the drinks. He was no where near ready to spin bottles and shit, but he could make most of the regulars' drinks now. He was reaching up to grab an expensive bottle of scotch when Sebastian bumped into him from behind.

He quickly covers his head and ducks away, hearing a loud crash and feeling a splash on his legs, soaking his skinny jeans. After a few seconds to recover, he looks back at the scene and sees the scotch smashed on the floor and his favorite boots soaked.

He turns to Sebastian to throw a fit but before he can make more than a strangled grunt, Seb starts yelling.

"What the fuck are you doing, Betty?! That bottle costs over $300!"

Kurt sputters, "What am I doing?! You knocked into me, asshole! Watch where you're going!"

"If you weren't just standing around, I wouldn't have run into you! I assumed you would have moved already! We're too busy for this shit, clean that up!"

"Fuck you, Sebastian! You caused that mess! You clean it up!"

Seb glares at Kurt, "You were the one holding the damn thing before it went crashing to the floor, that makes it your fault. Now we're out $300! Give me one damned reason I shouldn't fire you right now!"

Before Kurt can unleash on him, Elliot swoops in out of nowhere. "Guys, can you deal with your sexual tension some other time? We're kinda swamped here."

Sebastian turns his glare on Elliot but just bites out, "Find a way to replace that bottle and I'll let this go, Gay Face."

After he storms away, back to his section, Elliot gives Kurt a pitying look and goes back to work. Kurt just huffs and heads off to find a mop.

Two hours later, the mob scene had ended, Kurt's pants had mostly dried, and Sebastian wouldn't stop glaring at him. They were still busy, so he hadn't made it back over to renew his threats but Kurt can tell he was serious about paying for the broken bottle.

Shit. I can't afford that much for a fucking bottle of scotch that he caused me to break. Such bullshit.

Kurt is still watching Sebastian and trying to come up with an idea when a song starts. Kurt isn't completely clear on how the music works. He knows that for the most part it's just an iPod on shuffle, but there's a jukebox that's wired through the system so that if someone pays for it, it queues up behind the current song. When he hears 'Sexy Back' by Justin Timberlake start up, he sees Sebastian laughing and talking to a few of the guys hanging near the bar on his end.

He clearly knows them at least in passing because they make gestures to him and he starts to dance a little, behind the bar. Kurt's eyebrows fly up when he sees Sebastian does some of the more complicated body rolls and Sam's stripper moves. What the fuck is that? Sebastian can dance?!

It's not until more people start to turn to watch him that Sebastian stops and laughs, waving everyone off and moving down the bar to take orders again. Kurt gets an idea and leans up to yell up at Puck who's walking by.

Puck leans down and asks, "What's up, Princess?"

Kurt vaguely points down to the end. "Does Sebastian ever dance on the bar? I just saw him fucking around and he moves well. What the hell is going on?"

Puck laughs, "Nah. He used to... um, 'dance' every now and then, back when it was just me and Sam up here, but since we got more popular, there's always a third guy and he's needed more on the taps. A few of the die hard fans remember him though and constantly beg him to perform again."

Kurt just nods and Puck goes back to dancing. As another song starts, Kurt gets an idea and texts Dave, asking him to queue up a song on the jukebox for him, since it's not that far from his post at the door and it's not really safe for Kurt out there. He waits until he gets a return text telling him that it's done and it's up next before Kurt grabs the microphone and turns down the music a little. He jumps up on the bar and calls for attention. He waits until Seb pauses the song before continuing. He's going to kill me.

"So, I'm just the new guy, but it's been brought to my attention that a select few people have missed a previous wolf up here." Kurt smiles at the looks of confusion on most of the customers, and the wide eyed look Puck sends him.

Clearly Puck figures out what he's doing because he immediately jumps down, not wanting to be associated with what's about to happen. Kurt just smirks at him before turning to Sebastian, cocking a hip out and raising an arm to point at him.

"Come on up here, Sebby! Your fans miss you!" Kurt gamely ignores the glare he receives from Sebastian and continues to egg him on, joined in by the guys close enough to Sebastian to be heard. Once the chants of 'Bas! Bas! Bas!' fill the entire bar, he can't ignore it and jumps up. When he makes his way over to Kurt, he turns to snap at him.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Kurt just smirks, "You said to replace the bottle. This is me replacing the bottle. If you don't think you can get the full $300, we can always try again tomorrow. Or better yet, Friday. Way more people."

Sebastian huffs and turns to Elliot telling him to go start the music back up. He growls low enough that only Kurt hears him, "As long as I don't have to dance to Britney Spears or Pussycat Dolls, I think I'll be fine, Maria."

Kurt just smirks, hearing the end of the song. He hops back down and moves to Seb's abandoned station in case someone decides to order instead of watching his 'performance'.

There had been a few times over the past few weeks that had made Kurt stop and realize that he really didn't know much about how the bar worked before he got there. This is another of those times. When he'd picked the song, he'd tried to think of something sexy and sung by a male, because like Seb had said, he really couldn't pull off a girl's song. He probably should have thought a bit harder about how he knew the song instead of just that it was about sex.

As 'Pony' by Ginuwine starts up, he sees Sebastian start to roll his body subtly. It's not until the singing starts and Sebastian pulls off his polo shirt, revealing a ribbed tank undershirt, that Kurt remembers where he'd heard it. Magic Mike. Shit.

Kurt tries to hide his horror as Sebastian moves down to the end of the bar furthest from Kurt, throwing his shirt to Sam. Sebastian grabs the pole at the end of the bar and starts to grind and roll against it and Kurt looks away, trying to remember how to breathe.

He watches as the guys nearby start taking out money and throwing it down on the bar. He's mildly confused until Sebastian starts to slowly crawl and dance his way back toward them. Kurt kind of wants to hide from the sexy spectacle taking place, but when Sebastian throws him a smirk, he knows Seb can tell he feels like he bit off more than he could chew.

Instead of hiding, Kurt leans back on the counter and watches as Sebastian takes off the 'wifebeater' and throws it behind him. Kurt catches it before it can hit him in the face and then drops it on the counter like it burned him. How the fuck did I get into this? How did my life jump from taking classes on ballet and sword fights to watching Sebastian fucking Smythe thrust his hips five feet in front of my face?

Kurt looks away to see what the other guys are doing only to see them all sitting or leaning on the counter like he is, none of them looking surprised. When Puck sees him looking, he gestures to Kurt who makes his way down there.

"So, when you said he used to perform... you meant this?" Kurt crosses his arms, refusing to turn and see why so many people just cheered. He also tries not to wonder why the customers nearby suddenly scramble, throwing more money on the bar, trying to tempt Seb back to this side.

Sam laughs. "Oh god. You didn't even know what you were asking him to do? We wondered, but when the song started, we assumed you had figured it out."

Kurt just shook his head. "Nope. I had no clue. Thought he just danced the way we do. What the hell started him doing this?"

Sam smiles, "Stripping Thursdays. We could never get people to come out that close to the weekend. He was faced with coming up with a gimmick or closing up that night. So I suggested this. He was actually pretty enthusiastic about it. Only the two of us ever did it, and we didn't take off underwear, obviously. And unlike strip clubs, we don't involve the audience or do lap dances and shit. They just throw the money down if they want us to move closer. Seb actually broke a guy's hand once."

"Didn't want some random dude grabbing his ass? That doesn't sound like Smythe." Kurt peeks behind him to make sure Seb isn't close enough to hear them. He regrets it when he sees Sebastian down on his knees slowly humping into the bartop wearing only a pair of briefs. Shit! Don't turn around! Jesus.

Elliot coughs, "Actually, the guy had grabbed Sam."

Sam winces, "And it wasn't my ass. I guess the dude didn't know his own strength or something but I may not be able to father children anymore."

Puck claps Sam on the shoulder. "Dude is just lucky that Dave got there before I could. He just grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and tossed him out. Pretty sure he landed on his wrist, which I'm sure was an accident."

Kurt smiles, "Sure. Dave's clumsy like that." As the song winds down, Kurt mumbles, "Thank god, it's over. Worst idea ever."

Elliot giggles a little. "Well, trust me, he covered the bottle. Even back when they did it every week the money was never the problem. People just started to get a little too handsy and would be annoying about asking them to strip randomly. It was just easier to stop and wait for people to forget than to keep fighting them on it."

Sam laughs, "Yep. Sebastian may legit murder you for this, man. He'd finally gotten to where most people had let it go or forgotten."

Kurt starts to feel bad about roping him into this. Granted, he hadn't known what he was doing, not really, but that didn't change the outcome.

When the song finally ends, Kurt grabs the microphone again and calls out, "Okay guys, last chance to pay for the privilege. You may very well have witnessed Seb's last dance! Show him how much you appreciate it!"

After the money has been collected off the bar, Kurt resolutely doesn't turn to face the smirk he can feel aimed at him. At least not until he's sure Sebastian has put his pants back on. When he does turn, Seb is standing so close to him that he almost falls back on his ass from shock.

"Um, did you make enough to cover the bottle?"

As Seb puts his tank back on, he laughs. "Oh, yeah. When I first started I was going to do it and still make you pay for the bottle, since, ya know, I'm making the money, not you, so it shouldn't count. But since I made over twice what it was worth, I figure I'll let ya off easy. Just be more careful, Elsa."

Kurt doesn't know if he should be pissed off or relieved. All it takes is one glance down at Sebastian's previously revealed abs for him to decide on letting it go and running away. Hopping up on the bar and moving away, Kurt wonders if following that was really the best idea, but it beats the hell out of working a section and having to hear everyone gushing over Sebastian's body.

As Kurt swings his hips and reaches for the pole to lean out over the crowd he suddenly remembers Seb grinding against it and snatches his hand back.

Shit. How long until I can get that image seared out of my mind? That really was the most horrible idea I've ever had. And I gave my virginity to Blaine Anderson.