Dear diary,
This is me.
A little arrow pointed at a photo that was glued to the page. It was a picture of a girl. She smiled happy at Ross. She seemed a year of 10/11. Ross smiled softly back at the picture and continued reading.
I'm Emma. I'm 11 years old. I live in London. Daddy said that one day we'll move to America, that's his biggest dream. I want to go to America too.
He gave me this diary because mom is in the hospital.
It had been stormy all day. Then, in the car, there was a big lightning and there fell a tree on top of the car. I was okay but mom had to go to the hospital.
I think it's my fault. I had an audition for a ballet show that day. Miss Elegance (that's not her real name but everyone calls her Miss Elegance) said that I was the best dancer so she wanted me to do an audition. I guess the universe didn't think the same. I must be a the worst dancer ever. Maybe the universe wanted to say I have to stop dancing. I'll never dance again, then I know for sure nothing bad can happen. I hope mom will be okay. Dad calls me so I gotta go.
XXX Emma
Ross turned the page.
Dear diary,
After dad called me he told me that mom died. I can't believe it. Mom can't die. I need her. I've been crying for hours. Even Thomas and dad are crying. I don't know what to do. I'm so sad.
Emma
Ross stopped reading and tried to get Emma's way of thinking. She lost her mother. It was hard to believer for her and she thought it was her fault so she decided she'd never dance again.
He nodded slowly and continued reading.
Dear diary,
It's now been about two weeks since mom died. There were a lot of people at the funeral. Everyone was crying.
Ross flipped through the pages a bit.
Dear diary,
It's now about four weeks since mom died.
Dear diary,
It's been four weeks and a few days since mom died.
Dear diary,
It's now about seven weeks since mom died.
It started the same every time and it was always something like 'I miss her.' Then he saw one that was different.
Dear diary,
It's now been about eleven weeks since mom died. The kids at school bully me because I ran crying outta class when we were talking about the dead. They all think I'm a loser because I don't talk to people anymore and the only thing I do is cry and stare like I'm a zombie.
The words flashed in front of Ross's eyes.
I have no friends left.
Everyone bullies me.
Everyone hates me.
I'm just a worthless monster.
That must be the reason mom died, because I'm so horrible.
I should be dead.
And the next page.
Dear diary,
I started cutting.
It was the only thing she wrote. Just that one sentence. But it hurt Ross. Maybe he didn't know this girl, but she didn't deserve this. Why would you bully a girl because she lost her mom? How could it go so far that she started cutting? She didn't deserve it.
On the next page nothing was written but there was blood on the page and a photograph from scars.
Ross was speechless.
He looked at the scars on his own arm. And back to the picture and the blood in the diary.
He threw the diary away. He couldn't handle this.
He ran his hand through his hair. For some reason it became harder to breathe. Maybe he just needed some fresh air.
He went outside and started running. He didn't even knew where he was going to, but he just wanted to forget what happened.
Please don't stop reading cause this is not just fan mail.
The sentences echoed through his head like someone was reading them out loud for him.
To be honest, I hate your band. You´ll understand the reason why later.
He came closer to the park.
She´s probably going to die.
Ross shook his head harshly.
I found her after she tried to suicide.
GET.
The doctors think she's not going to make it.
OUTTA.
The reason why she tried to suicide it is closer to you as you think Ross.
MY.
So please, if you care at least a little bit about my sister, or your fans in general, I´ll ask you to read my little sisters life story.
HEAD.