Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice. but i hope i did..XDD
Note: I said it was going to be a one-shot but then you guys wanted another one so here i am giving you my Christmas ..anyways, sorry if this one's not as good as the first one, i'm sleepy and it's like 2 am now. anyways, on with the story.
Her Perspective.
She had vowed never to fall in love again.
After the day that her first boyfriend left him, she had learned her lesson. She had loved him and believed every word that escaped his lips. Gave him all her heart could offer but it seemed that he still needed more. Needed more from other women. She swore never to be as bleak as she was the day that bastard left her and never will she have to go through that same melancholy again.
It was hell for her.
She couldn't control the rivulet of tears that flowed through her face. She couldn't make sense of everything anymore. Without her first love, there was no her.
But somehow, she was thankful to this experience, for in the depth of her depression…
She saw him.
The night was just like the previous ones, still crying, still depressed. The weak light from her lamp illuminated only part of her room, making everything else a terrain of murkiness. Her auburn hair covered her face which mixed in with the pool of tears, just then an unknown figure separated itself from the obscurity of the room.
She wasn't sure what it was and being too scared to face the consequences if she suddenly panicked, she pretended to be asleep. Good thing her long hair covered most of her face; she was still able to see the approaching shadow.
She observed it as it moved closer to her and when it successfully reached the illuminated part of the room, she mentally gasped when she realized that the shadow was translucent and floating, although it floated just few inches from the ground. Terror consumed her emotions though she perfectly feigned her sleep. She examined it and recognized that its stature was that of a young man, almost the same of her age. His tousled raven hair moved with the breeze that came from her opened window as he continued advancing to her bed.
He sat next to her and caressed her face, her cheeks and even her hair. Though she saw him do those gesture…
She felt nothing.
She didn't feel his touch, but she did sense the warmth of his comfort. She had to admit that seeing him act like this towards her made all the suspicions that had been building inside of her melt, she trusted him. It's true that she wasn't sure what he was. How he was there in her room still puzzled her greatly and his identity still remained a huge question for her. But there was something about him that made her feel like he had been there all this time, that he had been with her all the time. And she found it amazingly easy to believe on what she was feeling.
"Don't cry anymore," she heard him say in a very soft but velvety voice.
He shifted his head closer to her and that's when her hazel eyes saw his crimson ones. His blood-red eyes looked more heartbreaking and lonely than hers. His sadness made her grief insignificant. She wondered why the person was sad and why he knew that she was.
'Is he a ghost? What is he doing here? Maybe he—'
"Mikan."
Her heart leaped.
All of her thoughts seemed to have disappeared like he did. After she heard him say her name, he vanished. She waited for the mysterious ghost to reappear but drowsiness betrayed her. She fell asleep.
When she woke up, she was confused with what had happened last night. She tried to search for clues, hoping that what had happened was real but her efforts lead to disappointment. There were no traces or proofs of the ghost last night. She knew she had to be true to herself and accept that the only explanation for the strange event was that all of it was a dream. She was just dreaming.
But she preferred to believe otherwise.
She learned to have faith in the unseen. Even if logic and physics would prove that all her hopes and beliefs were crap, she still chose to believe that what had happened was real. She chose to believe in his existence, though she wasn't sure what he was.
Her vow melted as soon as she decided to believe in him for she didn't knew that this decision would lead into a long time unrequited love.
"Mikan!" she heard her boyfriend call her.
Ruka was her boyfriend for two years straight. They had met when they were on their freshman year and he courted her for almost a year. He understands her, he's gentle to her and he respects all her decisions. He's never the type to cheat on a girl and she knows that he's sincere with his love for her. Falling for him was something very easy for any girl.
But why was it so difficult for her?
God knew how many times she had tried to open her heart for Ruka. But as many as the numbers she had tried, she failed. She knew that she had to stop lying. Lying to her boyfriend, lying to everybody and lying to herself. She has to set everything straight.
She has to forget about him.
Even after several years without seeing the ghost who had visited her when she was at her lowest, she still couldn't forget about him. Though all he had offered her that night were four simple words, she knew how deep and sincere they were. His simple words created such a huge impact on her that until now she still remembers him.
Or was it because he never let her forget?
Whenever she was feeling happy it's as if someone else was celebrating with her. Whenever she felt sad, it was like someone was embracing her with arms full of comfort. Was it imagination? Or was he really there? Though she preferred the latter, she will never know the answer.
"Hi Ruka," she finally said with a smile.
"I brought you your favorite vanilla ice cream." She watched as her boyfriend pulled out the ice cream from the grocery bag he was holding.
"Thank you," she answered sweetly and tried to hide the awkwardness she was feeling. She really liked vanillas but strawberries were her favorite. Her mom always bought strawberries for her when she was a child that's why she was very fond of them until now.
As they talked, she felt really guilty. She can see how Ruka really cares for her and how she treats him unfairly, she wanted to be fair to him. She realized that she can't keep on believing on something that might not even exist. It was serious this time.
It was time to say goodbye.
Night time came and it was time to part with Ruka, they went on separate ways since their dorm was on opposite directions. He offered to walk her home but she refused, she wanted time to think.
She walked quietly silently thinking of her newly formed decision. Whether it was right or wrong, she didn't force her mind to ponder further, she only knew that she have to do what's fair, fair for everybody.
Even though she tripped on her way to her room, it didn't bother her that much since it was not an unusual thing for her to experience anyway. She limped her way to her room and tended her fresh wounds.
'Tomorrow's the day I'll finally let go of this feeling, my feeling.' she mentally sighed as she was preparing for bed.
*ring ring*
She answered her ringing mobile phone with a meek "Hello" suggesting the caller that she was really tired and sleepy.
"Mikan," a very familiar person called her name.
"Hotaru?! Is it really you?" she automatically became ecstatic.
Its been a long time since they last spoke to each other. And hearing her voice now when she had made one of the most heartbreaking decisions in her life made her feel happy and sober at the same time.
"I missed you so much Hotaru," she confessed.
"I missed you too," her best friend paused then continued, "I told you a thousand times Mikan, crying makes you ugly. Stop crying."
It was really hard for her to stop the waterfall of tears that formed in her eyes from falling. Too many emotions are flooding her systems right now and crying was the best way to make them all flow out. It was hard but she knew she had to stop; Hotaru wouldn't like it if she continued to act like that.
They talked about Hotaru's arrival. Though their conversation was short, she felt was contented that they had a chance talk. She never fails to feel euphoric over their simple chat. She was grateful to God that He gave her such a wonderful friend who understands everything that she is.
After their conversation, she decided to surrender to her exhaustion but before she could finally start dreaming, she felt his presence again.
He was really making it hard for her to say farewell.
"Mikan, I see you let your hair down today," she heard her boyfriend greeted her as he approached her, "Is it because of our 2nd-year anniversary today?"
"Not really, I just woke up late and didn't had the time to tie them in pigtails," she lied. It's not really the reason why her hair was down. No one might've noticed but she always let them down when she says important goodbyes.
Her hair was down when she said goodbye to her mom, it was down when she finally gave up on her first love, it was down when she hugged Hotaru farewell.
And it's down today, when she'll finally say goodbye to her long unrequited feelings.
"Ouch… Haha! You know Mikan, you should really put your hair down, it looks good on you," she blushed. Not because she was flattered, it's because she felt shy and embarrassed, she shouldn't look good on a Goodbye day.
She managed to stutter a thanks before Ruka diverted the topic.
"Anyways, have you memorized your part in the play?" he asked.
She mentally thanked God for a less awkward topic.
"Nope, not yet. I haven't got enough time. Maybe I'll try to memorize it later," she replied.
"I see… do you want to practice with me? Just wait for me here after my soccer practice," he offered.
"If it's ok with you, then alright!" she forced a smile.
When she heard the sound of the bell, she knew she would have to be alone.
She knew it was the perfect time to say farewell.
When she was all alone, she started voicing out her feelings in a way that made her look like she was practicing for the play. Feelings that she had kept to herself for such a long time. And now, finally saying them loud and open made her feel light. Confessing was easier than expected but parting is a very different matter.
She closed her eyes and when she was finally able to muster enough guts, she mentally said her goodbye.
'Eh?!' her mind wondered disbelievingly at what had happened.
At the very same time she bid her farewell, she heard another person said exactly the same thing. She was quite sure that she was alone in the room so why would she be hearing anyone's voice now? She opened her eyes, hoping to find the answer she wanted.
And that was when she saw his crimson eyes.
Clear and linear, she saw him for the very first time.
She knew it was him. Though they didn't really met and there was no solid evidence he was the man she had loved, she knew it was him.
Her heart told her so.
She had so many things to say to him that she didn't know where to start. Unconsciously, she mouthed, "Hey, how do you do that?"
She watched as his facial feature changed into a wondering look then shifted his gaze from her to look at the surrounding as if he was looking for someone.
"Hey! I'm talking to you! How come you're floating?" she asked again. She knew her question seemed insignificant compared to the questions she had prepared in the past but right now, all of her pre-formulated queries seemed to have melted away. She only wanted one thing.
She wanted to hear his voice. His soft solemn voice which made her fall in love with him for the longest time.
"Mikan," she heard him unconsciously say.
And with that, all her feelings went back to her.
Back to where they all belong.
Author's note: so, how was it? it's ok if you thought it was boring. i accept any comments anyway. ahahahaha..anyways, happy holidays everybody! stay safe and let's all see each other next year!
\^o^/