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At the culmination of Roxanne's countdown, she quickly slid the lock open and threw the door wide, and jumped back to watch the black-cloaked alien come tumbling into her apartment with a stunned look on his face.
"Ahahhahahaaahaa!" she roared as she watched the shocked look instantly melt into one of irritation and utter humiliation.
"Har, har. Oh my, that was hysterical. Very mature." he quipped, glaring up at her from the tangle of cape, arms and legs that he had fallen into all over her hardwood floor upon his surprise entry into her apartment.
"Ohmygosh, you… you should have seen it!" she barely stumbled out amid breathless laughter. The blue-eyed trickster held her stomach and was bent nearly double as she giggled uncontrollably.
"Yes, I'm sure it was a riot. Go ahead, that's right - laugh it up! By all means!"
At this point, Roxanne's laughter had escalated to a point that made any kind of response nearly impossible. All she was able to do was stand on shaky legs and gasp for breath between giggles as she watched him pick himself up indignantly from the floor and attempt to straighten his suit and cape, all the while scowling darkly at her for ruining his entrance and bruising his pride.
When she finally managed to catch her breath, she snickered a final time and then asked mirthfully, "What are you doing out there?"
Taking another moment to reposition his menacing ensemble and reclaim a semblance of his dignity before responding, the incensed villain answered, "What do you think I was doing? I haven't traded in my cape to become a door to door insurance salesman… what am I always doing when I show up at your apartment, Miss Ritchi?"
"Okay then, I'll rephrase that. What were you doing taking your time out there like that?" she asked as she swung the door shut behind him.
"I was taking my time because someone apparently replaced the lock on their front door!" he snapped as though he was offended that she would even consider the idea of preventing him from picking his way in any time he felt like it.
"Pfffft! So? You're Megamind! You don't just sit there patiently and keep messing around with stubborn locks, you always bust your way in with lasers blazing! What's going on?"
At her astute line of questioning, Megamind's infuriated expression softened a bit. The snoopy newshound rarely missed a beat, and since she was already sniffing out the trail that there was something different about this particular apartment crashing, he might as well get right on with his explanation.
"Alright, fine. First of all, of course, what else would I be doing but stealing you away for another…"
Roxanne instantly knew where he was going with that, and oddly enough, she began to feel a sudden and confusing mix of emotions. Only a few moments ago, she'd been certain that anything, even being tied to the obligatory chair, was better than spending the day at the Scott's, but when she'd seen his spiky collar and the back of his blue head in her hallway, she couldn't help but get her hopes up that he'd shown up to whisk her off for a repeat of their secret Thanksgiving bash at the Lair. Realizing now that his appearance was for nothing of the sort, just another one of his run of the mill schemes, she instantly felt those hopes sink to her toes.
Along with a shocking amount of disappointment, she began to feel a volcanic flare of temper rising hot and bright inside her, and with it, her famous stubborn streak instantly kicked in.
Heck no! Sit in that stupid chair instead of celebrating the holiday with you? Not this reporter, bub!
Suddenly, as though listening in on another conversation from across the room, she heard herself snap, "Ughhh, Megamind! Do you even realize what day this is? It's CHRISTMAS! Everyone has their favorite holiday – come on, even you have your favorite! Well, this one happens to be mine; can't you just leave well enough alone for one day? What about my Kidnapping Package that you conveniently decided to change to suit your needs so you could steal my Thanksgiving from me? Well, this time I'm actually going to use it for my benefit… I want my scheduled yearly holiday off, and I want it now!"
Megamind froze in mid-sentence to listen to her unexpected rant. Stole her Thanksgiving from her? Now that stung a little. Yes, that day had certainly started out on the rough side for everyone, but he remembered things ending quite a bit differently than the way she was explaining it now. In fact, he was surprised to hear her talk about in such negative terms; he thought she had enjoyed herself just as much as he did.
Rather than responding right away, the wounded alien wisely decided to wait for his suddenly grouchy victim to run out of steam. When it appeared that she'd settled a bit, he held up a placating hand, and before she could start in again he quickly and calmly countered, "Now, hold on; you didn't let me finish! That little detail hasn't been lost on me, Roxanne. I've always known Christmas was your favorite holiday… in fact, that's the whole reason why I'm here!"
He paused for a moment to allow her an opportunity to reply, but his statement was met with nothing more than a deeper creasing of her brow and a stubborn scowl. After several seconds of glares and tense silence, he continued, "Yes, I have a plan, but this one is different. I've put countless hours of planning into this one! In fact, I've been working on it since Cyber Monday when that impressively horrifying scheme I promised you, didn't exactly… pan out."
He finished flatly and looked down for a moment with a distressed expression, as though silently berating himself for his fatally botched design. Roxanne knew exactly what was running through the villain's mind as he stood there glowering at the floor… the empty room with nothing but a metal chair on a dais in the exact center that was wired and bristling with thick electrical cables, the floor rapidly filling with water, the countdown that was perfectly timed to release 150,000 volts of current at the exact moment the water reached her as she sat waiting for rescue from a very preoccupied Metro Man.
Things had been going swimmingly for the excited villain that morning. In fact, as her thoughts drifted back to being strapped to the Metal Chair of Death, she even remembered feeling more than bit nervous as the time ticked away and she watched the water level approaching the top of her platform and listened to the electric whine of the conductors. But of course, as in all of Megamind's schemes, everything turned upside-down at the last possible moment.
As it turned out, the whopping current of electricity had been far too strong for his hurriedly slapped together circuit-board to handle, and just at the climactic moment, it burst into flames with a zap, and a whiff of acrid smelling smoke and burned wires. Not only did the shoddy design instantly stop the progression of his plan and make it a cinch for Metro Man to scoop him up and haul him back to prison, but it blacked out the entire west side of the city for the remainder of the day. Although she was still annoyed with her visitor, the testy reporter had to bite her lip to stop the snicker as she recalled him scurrying haphazardly around the control room trying to put out the fire.
After a moment of quiet and regretful reflection, Megamind cleared his throat, and continued in a business-like tone, "Well, anyway. Enough about that; all I'm going to say is that things will be very different this time around! And that actually brings me to the second thing I was going to tell you before you rudely interrupted me… as I said, I know Christmas has always been your favorite day of the year, so in light of the spirit of the sentimental embarrassment this holiday is notorious for, I have something for you. A gift, I suppose you could say."
Roxanne's narrowed eyes opened wide. "You have a gift. A gift for… me?"
The villain suddenly looked very uncomfortable. Holiday gift giving was entirely new to him, and he wasn't sure whether he liked or loathed the warm, fuzzy feeling that was currently wrapping him up like a fluffy fleece blanket. Completely aware of the fact that his announcement might be giving the impression to his victim that he had gone soft, the blue devil stammered out awkwardly, "Um, well… yes. Of sorts…"
"Of sorts? What's that supposed to mean? Is this a trick?" she asked suspiciously, her eyes narrowing at him again.
"No, it's not a trick!" he snapped back defensively.
"Well, for someone who's supposed to bearing gifts, you're looking pretty light on packages…" she quipped as she looked at him doubtfully. The only thing he was holding when he fell into her apartment was the lock-pick, and there was no way he could hide any sort of package in that skin tight suit of his - not even a gift card would fit in there without making its presence blatantly known.
"It's not that kind of gift… Ughhh, why do you always have to interrupt and ask so many questions? Look, do you want it or not? If you don't want it that's just fine with me, we can just pretend I never mentioned it and get right on with things!"
Judging by the look on his face, Roxanne realized he must have been telling the truth; her captor looked as though he was genuinely offended that she didn't believe him. The first time he'd ever tried to reach out to her with such a generous gesture, and she shot him down before he even had a chance to explain what he had in mind. A tight nugget of guilt began to knot in her chest and she suddenly found herself feeling afraid that he might retract his offer after her snappy behavior. It wasn't so much the gift itself that mattered to her, although she was incredibly curious about what sort of gift her kidnapper might give; it was the fact that Megamind had been thinking about her enough to want to give her any sort of gift at all. That was something the reporter didn't want to miss out on.
In a softer tone, Roxanne answered, "No… I'm sorry. Let's just chalk it up to a bit of built-in suspicion after so many years of riding the Good-Versus-Evil Express. Listen, if you still want to give me this gift you're talking about, it's fine. I'd really like to hear what it is…"
Megamind's puffed up defenses instantly deflated at her apology. With a wide grin spreading across his face, he said, "Of course I still want to give it to you, that's pretty much the whole reason why I'm here! Your gift this year is… a choice. You get to decide whether you want to be part of my plans today or not!"
Roxanne looked at him blankly as he stood in front of her, practically bursting with anticipation as he waited for her reaction. A choice… maybe he was trying to pull a trick on her after all? She could feel her frustration with him beginning to rise for a second time; he'd better not be pulling a fast one on her after she'd allowed herself to get her hopes up again!
"So, you're giving me a choice for Christmas. Hmmm, okay. Now why don't you tell me just why the heck I would ever willingly choose to say yes to being part of your half-baked plans, huh? And what happens if I say no? Are you just going to tell me too bad, and then whip out the knock out spray and throw the bag over my head? Wow, Megamind, of all the…"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Simmer down! Before you shoot down the idea you need to let me explain first! To answer your last question; if you say no, I leave. No questions asked, I'll just turn right around and walk out the door, and leave you here to go on about your boring little day… go out the door I purposely refused to blast down with my De-gun even though that new lock just about drove me insane, might I add…" he said with an illustrative point of his index finger, "…just to make sure I wouldn't spoil your holiday! But, if you do decide to come with me, you won't regret it. There's much more to this gift than meets the eye, Miss Ritchi; now doesn't that piece of information tempt that overdeveloped curiosity of yours just a little bit?"
"What do you mean, more than meets the eye?" she asked, feeling her curiosity being piqued, just as her visitor had guessed.
He recognized that glimmer in her eyes; Roxanne Ritchi could rarely resist the temptation to uncover the secret layers behind his impressive and complicated schemes. Just one last, well placed comment, and he knew he'd have her hooked. With a mischievous smirk, he answered simply, "Well, I guess you'll just have to come along to find that out for yourself."
She stared at that big blue mug for another moment, his smug grin absolutely driving her up the wall. But however annoying he was at the moment, he was still right. She was curious. Not just curious, she needed to know what he meant by that teaser he left for her, and once again the brunette felt her hopes beginning to rise.
"Alright, I'll go."
"I knew it!" he exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Yeah, I'm sure you did. How could I have said no when you put that way? I'd have to be crazy to pass up an offer like that! So, where are we going? Back to the Lair?"
"Ah, ah, you know I'm not giving out any spoilers, my snoopy little correspondent. You're just going to have to wait to find out!" he answered tauntingly, wagging a finger at her in the air.
Roxanne smiled to herself as she walked to the hall closet to extract her coat. His excitement was contagious and happened to be one of his most endearing qualities. Although she'd never let on to him, she loved to see him getting worked up about things, and the fact that he was showing this level of anticipation about giving her this mysterious Christmas gift was touching.
"Alright, fine, keep your secrets for now! You're such a kid, you know that?" she teased with a snicker as she slid her arms into the sleeves of her heavy wool jacket. "How's this thing going to work, anyway? You give me the rest of my gift, and then we just get right on with the show?"
"Yes, something like that. You'll get your gift right away, and then we'll move right along with the plan. You know, if we get around to it…"
Just as she was wondering how he was planning to get her to the invisible car without drawing attention to themselves and without spurring a rash of emergency calls for help before they even had a chance to get out of the building, she realized what he'd just said. Get around to it? That's an odd statement…
Turning to ask him exactly what he meant, she was suddenly interrupted by the buzzing of her doorbell.
"Oh oh…" she said quietly, her eyes instantly making contact with his as he waited patiently for her to finish grabbing her things.
"What?"
Ignoring his question, she glanced at the clock in her kitchen, and mumbled to herself, "It can't be him, he's always late; it's way too early for him to show up."
Despite her self-reassurances, a feeling of uneasiness was welling up inside her. Walking past her blue visitor without saying another word, she made her way to the door and leaned forward, pressing her eye to the peek-hole…
"Oh crap!" she hissed, swinging around to look at the surprised alien. "It's WAYNE!"
Be sure to check back in a few days for chapter 3.
Reviews would be appreciated. Thanks for reading! :)