Disclaimer: If you still believe I own Pokémon, then get your head checked. :)
Chapter 1 – Blindfolds and Gender Changes
Me: Hello! Let's see the legendaries, shall we?
*Enters hall, where all the legendaries were waiting, terror never leaving a face (except Shaymin)*
Raikou: No! He's awake! Don't torture me!
Me: Hey guys, I have the dares right here!
*Raikou starts crying in a corner*
Me: Wasn't he supposed to be the brave one of you lot?
Suicune: Yeah, he just doesn't like the dares.
Me: Ah, okay. *I look around at the legendaries* Where's Mew?
Celebi: Damn! I thought you wouldn't notice. I'll go wake him up. *Wanders off*
Me: Anyway, onto the first dare, let me read them. This one's from Frenchii.
Arceus must remain blindfolded for the whole game! Mwahahahahaha!
*I get a blindfold from somewhere and attach it to Arceus*
Rayquaza: Wow, it just fits.
Phione: Now's my chance. *Walks up to Arceus* Why don't I do anything special, Arceus?
Arceus: * Looking around* Uh, I don't really know.
Phione: I hate you! *Starts repeatedly whacking Arceus and blasting Bubblebeams at her while she screams in pain*
Darkrai: Wasn't she supposed to be cute and stuff?
Mew: I oppose your theory, Darkface!
Deoxys: Who let the psychotic cat in?
Celebi: I had to cause our stupid host told me to!
Me: Quiet please.
Mew: A shoe bit me!
Me: There aren't even any shoes in here!
Mew: I was mistaken, it was really my foot!
Heatran: I guess he already had sugar, then.
Me: Shut it! All of you! *Everyone instantly stops and turns to look* Good, otherwise you would have to face The Other Option!
Palkia: What's that?
Me: Something worse than your ordinary dare!
Dialga: Oh my!
Me: Anyway, let's see the next review! This is from Yue the snow queen.
...Can i join the fun? I'm a froslass with a white ribbon and carrying an ice sword ready to slash someone. here we are... Celebi: took mew's candy. eat it, and dance on a pine tree. Arceus: give me power to summon or create something. Azelf: destroy mesprit and uxie favorite things. zapdos: peck raikou regigigas: turned into a female human Heatran: turned to a toad by a fairy that give mew's candy Deoxys: turned to a girl and kiss mewtwo Darkrai: use shadow sneak at the person/pokemon you hate most! (Don't kill him/her) Giratina: Summon a ghost and revive it The ghost: I'M ALIVE! (see me ready to slash it) I'M DIED! (Get slashed) That was fun! enjoy~
Mew: Spins 3 times and bark, spin 3 times again and say "Mew!Mew!" spin 3 times again and a fairy give you a bar of candy.
Me: I think I will enjoy this long set of Dares! First, before the dares, let's welcome Yue!
Yue: Hello! *Gets out sword*
Mew: We're all gonna die!
Celebi: Shut it! *Whacks him over the head with random laptop*
Regirock: My laptop! No!
Me: Anyway, first dare is for Mew!
Jirachi: But he's knocked out.
Me: Well, that's the second dare postponed as well. Third one, Arceus, give Yue the power to summon or create stuff.
Arceus: Okay! Where is she? I can't see! Damn this blindfold! Let's hope I'm lucky! *Shoots gift of power in random direction*
Jirachi: Arceus, you moron, you just gave the power to Mew!
*Everyone starts screaming as random pies and tables start appearing and flying in all directions*
Heatran: Take the power back, Arceus! Take it back!
Rattata: Yeah! Take it back!
Celebi: Why is there a rat in here?
Lugia: I don't know!
Mew: Pietables!
Everyone: ARCEUS! TAKE THE POWER BACK!
Articuno: Someone knock out Mew!
Moltres: He already is knocked out, remember?
Mewtwo: This isn't even possible!
Jirachi: Arceus! Don't stand there! DO SOMETHING!
Regice: Get rid of the Rattata!
Deoxys: I don't like this!
Latios: There's a rat in here? Where'd it come from?
Ho-oh: My only guess is Mew!
*Arceus finally manages to take the power back*
Mewtwo: Arceus.
Arceus: Yes?
Mewtwo: Get rid of whatever Mew created!
Rattata: No! Don't do it!
*Arceus teleports all the pies, tables and the Rattata away*
-
*Random street*
Hobo: Man! I wish I could have something to sell to make money!
*Pies, Tables and the Rattata appear*
Hobo: Thank you, God!
-
*Hall*
Mew: I'm awake!
Kyogre: Could anything get any worse?
Me: Well, we still have to finish Yue's dares.
Yue: Yay!
Me: Okay, seeing as Mew is now awake, we can do the first dare.
Mew: I has a dare?
Me: Yes, Mew, you do.
Mew: No! *Starts hitting his head on a wall*
Me: Okay, Mew, first spin around three times and bark.
*Mew twirls around three times, then makes barks, with everyone looking at him in amusement*
Me: Then, spin three more times and say your name twice.
*Mew twirls three times*
Mew: Mew! Mew!
Me: And now a fairy has to give you a candy bar.
Mew: Really?
Me: No, of course not. Just kidding, yes you can have a candy bar.
*Random fairy comes and gives Mew a candy bar. Mew opens the candy bar, and is about to eat it*
Me: Celebi, eat it!
Celebi: Why?
Me: It's your dare, take it eat it, then dance on a pine tree!
*Celebi takes the candy, only to be knocked out by Mew holding the remains of the laptop. Mew then walks away eating the candy*
Me: Well that didn't quite work as planned.
Raikou: Guess we'll have to wait for the pine tree dance.
Me: Yeah! Meanwhile, we should actually get a pine tree. Arceus! Make a pine tree!
Arceus: Why should I? It's not a dare!
Me: It's either that or The Other Option!
Arceus: Fine!
*Pine tree appears in the corner of the room*
Me: Next dare! Mesprit, what's your favourite thing?
Mesprit: Er, my plush doll of me.
Me: Okay... Uxie, what's your favourite thing?
Uxie: Er, I guess it's my library.
Moltres: Nerd.
Uxie: I heard that!
Me: *Whispering to Azelf* You have to destroy those things or suffer The Other Option! I have put down the anti-teleportation field, but you don't come back in five minutes, I will hunt you down and make you go with The Other Option three times over!
*Azelf teleports away*
Mesprit: Where's he going?
Me: To destroy your and Uxie's favourite things.
Uxie: I am gonna kill him when he gets back.
Moltres: Wow, a nerd's gonna fight.
*Uxie knocks Moltres out with Psychic*
Me: Anyway, onto the next dare of Yue's.
Mew: Go to McDonalds!
Me: I'll ignore that. Zapdos!
Zapdos: Yessir! *Salutes me*
Me: Go and peck Raikou!
*Zapdos pecks Raikou, who continues crying in the corner mumbling 'why me' repeatedly*
Giratina: That was... interesting.
Me: Yeah, I thought he was gonna fight back.
Entei: Guess he really isn't in the mood.
Me: I was actually expecting something more interesting than that. Anyway, the next dare is for Regigigas, but we need Mew.
Mew: I am at your command, General Chainmail!
Me: He can somehow be sane and ridiculous at the same time. Mew, you have to change Regigigas into a female human!
*Mew does so and all the Regis begin to stare at Regigigas*
Me: Well that solves the mystery of what gender they are.
Groudon: I wish that I don't get a dare like that!
Me: Yeah, so the next dare is making Heatran a Toad!
Heatran: Say it isn't true!
Me: It isn't true.
Heatran: *Sighs* I thought I was done for!
Me: You are. You just told me to say you weren't. So is it a toad as in frog, or Mario's Toads?
Everyone: The frog one! Not Mario's!
*Fairy appears and transforms Heatran into a toad*
Me: I feel nice today, so I'll turn you back at the end of the chapter.
Heatran/Toad: Fribbit! *Hops away*
Me: Well that was quick!
*Azelf teleports back and I put up the anti-teleportation field again*
Uxie: Azelf, I heard you destroyed my Library!
Mesprit: And my plush doll!
Azelf: Don't hurt me!
*Uxie and Mesprit begin to attack Azelf, with yells of 'don't hurt me', 'sorry' and 'stop it'*
Me: Let's just step away from them and act like they aren't here, okay?
*Everyone runs to the other side of the hall*
Me: Now for another dare!
Mew: What is it?
Me: It's one for Deoxys!
Deoxys: Oh god! I can only wonder what crazy mind made one for me.
Yue: *Readies sword* What was that?
Deoxys: Nothing! I'll be quiet now.
Yue: Good.
Me: Mew, change Deoxys into a girl.
Mew: Righto, Heatran's Petri Dish! *Transforms Deoxys into a girl*
Deoxys: What was the point of this? Just sadistic humour?
Me: Oh, far from that. Now you have to kiss Mewtwo!
Mewtwo: I stayed quiet so no one would notice me. My plan failed.
*Deoxys reluctantly walks over and kisses Mewtwo. Three seconds later, they kiss again and start to make out*
Me: *Covering eyes* I did not just see that!
Suicune: I thought Mewtwo didn't have feelings.
Mew: That is so gross, it's like watching pigs come out of Cresselia's nostrils.
Jirachi: Mew, you have the weirdest imagination out of anyone in existence.
Heatran/Toad: Frib-bit!
Kyogre: Whatever you just said, I probably agree!
Me: Can we ignore them too?
Zapdos: Yes! We can!
Me: Alrighty then! Next dare!
Darkrai: I'll go see how Azelf's doing.
Me: No you won't, you have the next dare to do.
Darkrai: God, help me!
Arceus: No!
Me: Don't worry, it's not that bad!
Darkrai: Oh really?
Me: Yeah, really. All you have to do is use Shadow Sneak on the person you hate the most.
Darkrai: Not Shadow Ball or Dark Pulse?
Me: No, you have to use Shadow Sneak.
Darkrai: Well seeing as I hate you the most for bringing us here, I guess I can use it on you!
*Darkrai uses Shadow Sneak on me, knocking me out*
Celebi: I guess I'll take over, because I am probably the sanest person here.
Mew: Don't let the paper bite you!
Giratina: When did you wake up?
Celebi: About five minutes ago, why?
Giratina: Just wondering.
Celebi: So apparently I have to dance on a pine tree.
*Celebi puts down the sheet of paper and does the can-can on top of the tree*
Manaphy: I really thought you were gonna do something else there.
Me: I'm awake again!
Arceus: *Facing wrong direction* That was fast!
Me: And now for the last dare.
Kyogre: The suspense is killing me!
Me: But I didn't pause for suspense.
Groudon: Get on with it!
Me: Alright. Giratina, bring a spirit from the underworld and revive it.
Giratina: Okeydokey! *Starts bringing a ghost back from the underworld*
Deoxys: Did he just say 'Okeydokey'?
Uxie: I think he did.
Me: So you lot are finished, eh?
Azelf: Yup!
*Spirit appears and Yue slashes through it with her sword, killing it instantly*
Yue: Woohoo!
Giratina: I just brought that thing back to life!
Me: And in the dare it says that Yue would slash it with her sword.
Giratina: I hate you!
Me: That's nice. Anyway, that's all we have for today. Get to bed and wait for tomorrow's painful selection of dares!
Well, a lot happened from only two reviews. Deoxys and Regigigas are now female and the other Regis have been found out to be male.
If you want Arceus to give you powers, hope your lucky, coz something is always gonna go wrong with the blindfold there!
So don't forget to put as many dares into the reviews as you like!
Oh! And a note to everyone who wants to live: Don't. Steal. Mew's. Sugar.