Chapter 4
California Dreaming
I was feeling a little too full of myself after the Farmington patient. We were quickly brought back to earth by our next patient. It took us a week to discover that she had a rare presentation of Multiple Sclerosis. But we did it. Chase and I worked well together. We seemed to play off of each other's strengths and weaknesses. He was much more willing to take chances than me. But I was learning from this and realizing that playing it safe didn't always work when you had a patient's life slipping away.
Chase also taught me how to break into houses and look for clues to our patient's illness. It was fun and I always felt like I was being bad, really bad.
"Chase, how are we going to break into this house?" I looked at the door to the cute little clapboard house.
"How about we look around for an extra key?" He began feeling the door jam, picking up the mat, rocks and just about everything within thirty feet of the front door. I helped look. After a few minutes and me looking extremely frustrated, Chase started laughing. "Or, how about I just take the key that I got off her key ring?"
My mouth went into a perfect "O" and I stared at him. He laughed and I joined in. We went inside and started checking around. I pouted a little, "This isn't half as much fun without actually breaking in."
"Well, come on, going through the underwear door will perk you up. Sometimes we find interesting sex toys there."
"I like the way you think Chase. Look, they have a rat!" I went over to a cage with a brown rat running on a hamster wheel. I bent down to take a look. The rat looked healthy, for a rat.
"House had a pet rat."
"What? A pet rat?"
"Yeah, Steve McQueen. But it's probably dead by now."
"Why doesn't that surprise me?"
We spent an hour going through the drawers and I was dodging under the bed to see if there was a vent or something else we could bag for testing, it was a tight squeeze. I wanted to back out from under the bed but I was stuck.
"Chase?" I asked, slightly embarrassed.
"What, did you find something?"
"No, but I'm stuck, could you please pull me out?"
"Seriously, you're stuck?"
"Yeah, stuck. Could you just yank?" I pleaded.
He grabbed my ankles and started pulling but my butt kept getting hung up. He started laughing. I could hear it start as a chuckle and then after each yank it grew into a rolling laugh. Pretty soon there was no yanking, just laughing. I looked back and I could barely see his lower torso sitting on the floor convulsing.
"Uh Chase, could you try again? My nose is starting to tickle and I think I'm going to start sneezing."
"Yeah, ahhhahhahhhahha...I'll try, ohh, again." He pulled, but when I didn't budge I tried to get out again by myself, but my butt hit the bed frame.
I waited a minute to let him get it all out and then said, "Why don't you pick the frame up a few inches and I can probably scoot out."
I heard more laughter and then a, "Yeah, sounds good." He picked up the bedframe a few inches and I was able to scoot out.
I looked in his eyes and they were teary, he was laughing so hard. At first I was a little miffed that he was laughing so hard at my humiliation, but I could see it was all in good fun and I started to laugh too.
I pushed the button of the computer and up shot the desktop and a photo of my legs protruding from out from under a pink dust ruffle. I looked at Chase's computer and it to sported the same photo. I ran down to the lab, my lab coat flopping open as my little feet ran as fast as they could. I was too late. Plastered on every computer in the lab and charge desk were my two white legs. I gritted my teeth and clenched my fist. I closed my eyes to try and think happy thoughts but all I could see were two white legs. Chase came strolling into the lab sporting a grin as wide as his face.
"How did you do this?"
He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and I saw the little lens of the camera. I squinted harshly and stomped out of the room. I didn't stay angry for long, I caught a glimpse of my white legs on one of the nurse's computers and had to laugh. It looked like the wicked which of the east had just been crushed by Dorothy's house.
I received a telephone call from Dr. Xavier Sontag at UCLA requesting that I attend the Infectious Disease Medical Conference. They would pay my way if I would join a panel on emerging diseases. I told him I'd have to call him back after I asked my boss. David was pleased. He also wanted Robert to go so that he could shmooze. We relied heavily on referrals from doctors and he thought this was the idea venue to get our name out to other hospitals.
"What about the department? Who's going to babysit?" Chase asked me.
"If someone is referred, you'll get the red eye out of L.A."
"Sounds great."
I managed to get our department mentioned in the newspaper again after we saved an Iraq veteran with Crimean-Congo Hemorrhagic Fever. A whole article was written about communicable diseases in Iraq and the veterans receiving help for them. R. B. O'Sullivan and Robert Chase were both mentioned frequently throughout the article.
We were getting ready to travel to Los Angeles when I received a telephone call from both the WHO and the CDC. They requested my presence in Africa to help contain an outbreak of Ebola Sudan. The doctors were all leaving on April 7th. I had just hung up when David came running into my office.
"I just got off the phone with WHO. Dr. Margaret Chan, the head of WHO is personally requesting your presence in the Republic of Congo to help contain an outbreak of Ebola Sudan! She says it seems to be a more virulent strain and they're worried that it might be jumping."
"I know, the CDC just gave me a brief overview." I sat down. "What do you think?"
David's said rapidly, "It's up to you. We'd love the publicity but not at the cost of losing you. It's bad timing because we're just getting the department up and running, but it's quite a plus to be able to put on the brochures that you were personally selected by the CDC and Who to help contain it."
I looked at Robert who had just walked in on the conversation and was unsure of what was being discussed. "What's going on?"he asked.
"I've been asked to go to the Congo to put down a new strain of Ebola. It's spreading rapidly and they want us to get in and find patient zero and possible vectors to determine how it managed to mutate or recombine."
"Take me!"
I smiled. "I wish I could, but the CDC is pretty picky on who gets to go. They aren't even sending some of their own staff." I thought about it. I had handled an outbreak of Ebola-Zaire in Gabon between October 2001 to March 2002 and it wasn't pretty. The disease was devastating and horrible to watch. The victims would bleed out of every orifice, their nose, their ears, their eyes, the anus, even their pores. Their bodies would essentially liquify and hemorrhage until they would bleed out. Eighty percent of the people who got the disease died during that outbreak.
"What do you say?"
"I guess I better pack. They said I'd be gone two to three months. Maybe I shouldn't go to L.A. Wednesday if I'm going to be going to Africa a week later?"
"Nonsense. Robert and the new Fellow, you're going to hire before you leave, can handle whatever comes up in the department until you get back from Africa. We need for you to shmooze in L.A." David smiled and said, "Good luck. Let us know what you need for your trip."
"Great, I'm expected to go to Santa Monica and then to Africa and then find the time to hire a new Fellow. That's just peachy keen."
The next day I showed up to work and Robert's neck snapped back, "My God! What happened?"
I laughed at him and rubbed my head. I had cut all of my hair off except for about three inches all over. It looked a little strange because my hair was lighter near the roots than at the tips where it was dyed brown. In Africa, it was easier and cleaner to have short hair. And since there's not too many colorists in the Congo, I would have to go back to my real color, honey blonde.
"I lost a fight with a lawn mower." I smiled at him, "I always cut my hair close for Africa. It's just easier."
"It looks a little strange, you have brown tips and the rest is blonde. Why did you have it dyed it blonde and not dye all of it?"
"I'm naturally blonde. I'm just letting it go back to its natural color."
"You're blonde, but you dye it brown?"
"Just think blonde jokes."
"I can guarantee you, no one thinks of you as a dumb blonde."
I blushed at the compliment. "Thanks Robert."
Wednesday we were at the airport waiting for our flight to Los Angeles. I was in my black leggings and orange ribbed sweater, feeling overweight and bloated. Robert was telling me about his med school days in Australia when he stopped mid-sentence, looked across the fiberglass seats and shook his head. I followed his gaze and saw two men, one about 37, brown hair, brown eyes and dressed in a sport coat, nice shirt and slacks that were obviously expensive. His companion was older, about ten years older. He was leaning on a black cane and scowling. His hair was brown and gray and thinning in the back. The brown had obviously been a reddish brown, but it was being swallowed by the gray. He had a nicely shaped angular nose, a wide cupid's bow mouth that was encapsulated in a short beard and fierce blue eyes. He wore a t-shirt and crumpled long sleeve shirt over dark blue jeans and sneakers. It was Jim and his Friend; the one I had slept with on New Year's Eve. The friend didn't even see me, but the Friend did see Robert, like a hawk sees a mouse on the ground.
The Friend, I couldn't remember his name, started to hobble towards us. I turned to Chase, "Crap, here he comes. Damn it. He would be going to the conference." I was nervous. I really didn't want to have to talk to someone about a night that I wanted so desperately to forget.
"He may be an ass, but he's on the list of speakers." Chase said.
"Really?" I barely had time to put together my presentation, let alone read the conference brochure. "I didn't know they'd want him to speak at the conference. I wasn't impressed with him."
"Why wouldn't they? He gets asked to speak all the time. I'm just surprised he's doing it. He's not much on speaking."
I thought about out silent ride back to my apartment and had to agree. "You can say that again. He's a real jerk."
Chase looked at me as if I wasn't making sense. He opened his mouth to say something when the Friend poked Chase with his cane. Jim had followed him over. Jim looked at me, acted like he might know me, but wasn't sure. The Friend said with the same lack of tack he showed on New Year's Day, "Well, if it isn't brown nose. I read that your boss is speaking at the conference, where is he? Didn't he want to be seen with you? Can't blame him."
I stood up and the Friend looked at me for the first time. His pupils widened and his head flinched as his body went rigid trying to figure out why I was there. "I knew you were a natural blonde. I wondered why you dyed your hair that rat brown." He looked at Chase and then at me, "What, are you two dating and he's taking you to California? Its," he snapped his fingers and looked up like he was trying to remember something, "...I'm trying to picture that post-it on your forehead. Ah, I just don't remember; the night, it was all so forgettable."
I managed a weak smile at Jim who smiled back apologetically. It was Chase who managed to make the introductions, "Gregory House, this is Riley O'Sullivan."
We must have both looked like two Mac Trucks had just hit us. My eyes were wide, jaw flew open and I felt weak. I literally took a step back. NO! I slept with Greg House? Think back, ah crap. Greg...the post-it said Greg. Christ, what an idiot I am. He looks just as dumbfounded as me.
House flenched and jerked his head back, staring, looking numb. Then his face broke out into the most sardonic smile I'd ever seen, followed by a laugh. Jim registered some surprise too, but I immediately saw Jim's expression turn from being surprised to being really nervous. It was as if he was worried about what was going to happen. Chase watched all of us like we were in a tragic play unfolding before him.
"Will someone tell me what is going on? Do you know each other?" Chase asked.
House turned to him and said, "Let's just say I knew your boss was a natural blonde because she forgot to dye all of her hair." He pointed towards my groin and gave us a silly look.
I blushed bright red and Chase looked at me, "You slept with House?"
"I didn't know! I was drunk. I didn't know it was Gregory House at the time. I never knew his last name. Besides I slept while he screwed."
"Excuse me, you came home with me specifically for the horizontal Mambo and I can't help it if you passed out drunk in the middle of it. I hate women who can't hold their liquor." He bent down in my face, "You're pretty low on my list of women I'd like to do again. You did notice I didn't ask for your phone number when I dumped you on the side of the road." He paused as I digested what he had said. I was horrified. It was one thing to tell Chase we had slept together, another to let him know I was a lousy lay.
"Dr. House, if you think it's fair to judge my prowess while I'm so drunk I pass out, fine. But for the record, you're not high on my list either."
"Well, we could have a rematch, there is always the Mile High Club. I take it you're both on the American flight to L.A. and the conference?" Robert and I both nodded in unison. House looked me over, "So you're R. B. O'Sullivan?"
"Yes?"
"I thought you were a man."
I sneered, "Yeah, I thought you were too. It seems we were both mistaken."
"You're insulting my manhood? If you want that rematch, fine. It's just that I hate doing it in those small bathrooms on the plane, it's so confining."
"Sorry, once was enough disappointment in a year. Maybe you could just send me a DVD. Some people look better on TV. You know, if you added some music and a laugh track, it might just keep me awake."
Chase and Wilson both looked at each other as if they weren't sure I had really said that to the great Gregory House. They started laughing. I looked at House and he wasn't fazed at all. In fact, he was amused.
He tilted his head and looked at me, "Are you speaking at the conference?"
"Panel discussion on emerging diseases. You?"
"An overview on the specialty of Diagnostics. But then you won't be coming to that, you've already stolen the model and an employee to help you set it up."
"I didn't have to steal the employee. He just got tired of you playing footsies with the female Fellows."
"He should have told me. I would have played footsies with him too; he just had to ask." He said it at Chase, not to me.
The desk crew announced the boarding. People with handicaps were allowed on first and so House disappeared down the ramp.
Wilson looked at me, "I think you've thrown him. He was looking forward to sitting in 'R.B. O'Sullivan's' presentation and heckling you."
"Great, just what I need, a heckler."
Then the rest of first class was called next to board. Wilson, Chase and I walked down the ramp. I could hear a stewardess say, "It's good to have you back Dr. House, I was hoping you'd call again."
"I've been busy." He responded as he continued to arrange himself in the seat on the aisle. There was an empty seat next to him but it wasn't Wilson's. Wilson had also wanted an aisle seat so he had been assigned the seat across the aisle but next to House so that they could still talk.
I saw Chase's shoulders dropped and he winced in dismay.
"What's wrong?"
"My seat is next to House. I just hate the thought of taking his abuse for the next five hours."
I looked at my seat assignment and I was next to Jim. I handed the ticket to Robert, "At least it's one away from him."
"Are you sure?" Robert asked.
"I've slept with him once, I can sleep next to him again."
"You're an angel."
"Dr. House, I have the seat next to you." I announced. House did nothing to move. I had to literally climb over him and I'm not sure if I tripped or he tripped me, but I ended in his lap with him smiling at me.
"At least wait until we're up 10,000 feet so we can get in the club." I jumped up just as his hand grazed the back of my butt. I turned quickly to give him a dirty glance and he just smiled, "Hey, it was free."
Robert and I had been up most of the night with a patient, so I tried to get some work done on the plane. After we were airborne, I took out my computer and started reading the updates the CDC had sent just before I left. House was working on something else-- the wine menu. I don't drink on planes, usually, so when the flight attendant asked if I wanted complimentary wine with my meal I said, "No, I...:
House interrupted, "Now darling, I know you love that pinot noir, bring her that."
I snapped my mouth shut and looked at him while the attendant went to the next passenger. I said nothing more, continuing to work. But when the meal came, the wine disappeared off my tray as fast as the attendant sat it down in front of me.
I looked at him and he gave me a silly look, like a four year old. I glanced at his meal and grabbed the desert off of it, putting it on my tray. He reached out to grab it back and I slapped his hand so hard that Wilson and Robert both looked over to see what had happened. He jerked both his hand and his head back, glaring at me. I grabbed my fork as a weapon and he retreated. I had two deserts, he had two wines.
"That ass is just going to get bigger." he said.
"At least the ass sitting next to me can't get any bigger."
I pushed my seat back, thinking I could use the last two hours to get some sleep before getting to Los Angeles. I also figured that dozing off would be the best way to avoid him. I didn't know that while I was sleeping he went into my wallet, pulled out a twenty and bought "me" several rounds of drinks which he drank. When the attendant woke me for landing, I discovered three of those minature whiskey bottles sitting on my tray next to my computer which was on a window that I know I had not been on when I went to sleep.
"You really are a self-absorbed parasite, aren't you?" I said to him.
It was then that I realized he was drunk. "Can I suck on you?" he grinned.
When we landed he was having difficulty standing up. I tried to help him, but ended back in his lap with a hand on my breast. I was beating on him when Jim finally came over and helped him up. They managed to get him out of the airplane and into a wheel chair.
"I don't envy you Jim." I said.
"Do you guys want to take a taxi to the hotel? Save some cash?" Jim asked.
"Sure."
We got our luggage and poured House in the back seat between Jim and I while Robert sat in the front. House's head was turned towards me and he was staring. Or at least I think he was staring, his head was bobbing and he was smiling. I tried to stare straight ahead but then I felt a hand on my upper thigh. I grabbed his hand and lifted it off of me. Jim looked at me and rolled his eyes. House kept putting his hand back and I kept removing it.
I turned and looked him in the eye and said, "Next time I break one of your fingers and you won't be playing piano for awhile. Do we understand each other?"
He looked like a small boy who had been spanked by his Mommy. "A guy can have a little fun, can't he?"
"Not with my crotch."
"Yeah, that's right, now I remember."
I stopped and swallowed hard. Saying something back was just going to add fuel to the fire, so I stared straight ahead.
House looked at Chase sitting in the front seat, "Chase, are you sure you want to be on a second rate team? Come back and I'll make you a resident. I'll even let you have Cameron. It's over anyway, she's "so over me."
Chase turned and looked at him and then me, shook his head, "You should have left her alone in the first place."
"The only way to get her to give up was to let her have a taste of the real Greg House. Well, she's had that meal and she's ready to move on after her palate clears. I'm serious about coming back, Cuddy wants you back too."
"I like it where I am. Thanks."
"Traitor. Don't worry, we're going to take you both down. Princeton General's Diagnostic Department will be history by next year. I'd start putting out feelers for jobs."
He turned to me, "You know, when you're nude you're not bad to look at. You have beautiful breasts."
It just came out of the blue and even the cab driver turned to look at me. Of course you could have roasted marshmallows off of my cheeks, they were so hot. "House, that's unnecessary." Jim said to him.
"It's a compliment! She has a pretty yoo-hoo too."
"Oh God, stop the cab, stop!" I yelled.
"Lady, we're on the 405, the next exit with an on ramp is another three miles, I'll get off there." the cabbie said.
"Riley, I'll keep him quiet. House, you say another thing about Dr. O'Sullivan and I'll break your fingers myself." Wilson was adamant.
I stayed in the car, but pushed over against the door as far as I could go to get away from him. He just scooted next to me, delighting in my discomfort. This was truly the bottom feeder of the world. We reached the Fairmont Miramar Hotel in Santa Monica. There is a little palm-lined, jungle-like courtyard that you drive up to get to the front of the hotel. As I got out of the car I remembered House and his difficulty getting out of the plane. I didn't want to help him but he was struggling and I looked pretty inconsiderate just watching a cripple trying to get out of a car.
I went over to the cab, bent down and let him put his left arm around my neck with me putting my arm under his arm and around his back. He used the cane to push himself up. As he steadied himself his arm drifted down and I felt a hand firmly on my butt. I pulled away quickly, leaving him off balanced and about ready to go down. I reached out and was able to slow his descent to the pavement, but not enough to keep us both from tumbling onto the ground. We came to a halt with me on top of him looking down into his eyes.
His smile was broad and his breath warm with whiskey, "If I'd known you liked it on top I would have obliged." He reached up, pulled my head down and our lips locked. I was pounding away furiously as Jim and Chase both tried to pry me out of his clutches.
I finally kneed him and he let up. I jumped up and ran into the hotel. Chase came trailing after me, "Are you okay?"
"My God! How did you work three years for that man?"
"You get used to the crap he pulls. He's brilliant and funny. I don't know, but he grows on you."
"Like mold. I don't understand." I shook my head and shivered from the thought of his lips on mine. How did I ever manage to end up with that man between my legs? I really need to stop drinking.
I was checking in, noting that the reception was going to start in two hours when I heard a voice behind me, "Hello Riley, are you going to the reception?"
I turned and looked straight into the eyes of Toby, Marsha-less. "Where's Marsha?"
"Don't know. We aren't together anymore. You here for the whole conference?"
"Yes." I said. Chase was standing there like a carbuncle waiting to be introduced. My manners had flown out the door as I just stared at how handsome Toby looked in his suit. Chase could see I was frozen.
"I'm Robert Chase, I work with Riley."
"Toby Powell, UCLA, Neurology."
"Glad to meet you."
Toby smiled at me, "Well, I'll let you two check in. See you at the reception Riley. Oh, I like your hair cut short, it looks sexy on you."
I had a hard time registering the fact that Toby thought I had sexy hair. He never gave a compliment unless he meant it. It also seemed weird that he would compliment me in front of Chase. He wasn't inclined to let anyone else in the room feel good about themselves if he could help it.
"Something tells me you slept with him too." Chase said.
"I lived with him two years before I found his penis in Marsha's mouth."
"Oh. Too much information."
"It's just a scenario I keep repeating and hoping to avoid the rest of my life. Marsha tends to like the men I like. Let's check in." I looked over and saw Jim and House checking in too, at the far end of the counter.
I got to my room with my luggage. I looked around and was pleased with the setup. It was a nice, large room with a queen bed draped in crisp white sheets, white duvet and fluffy white pillows. I wanted to just lay down in it and forget the last five hours. Just as I was about to do that I heard a knock on the door. Did Robert forget something?
I put the little bar across and opened the door just enough that the bar caught. It was Danielle! "Danielle! Oh, it is so good to see you. I didn't know you were coming, we could have flown out together."
"I came out a few days early to see some friends."
I let her in and she immediately went and flopped down on the bed. "Oh man, did you see that Jim and his Friend are here?"
"His Friend is Dr. Gregory House, my new nemesis." I looked up in the air and scrunched up my forehead as I was thinking out loud, "Seems like I keep adding nemesis's to my life."
"Didn't you sleep with him?"
"I slept, he screwed."
"He screwed you while you were asleep?"
"I'm not sure when he started the screwing, I just know I passed out. My former boyfriend, Toby, is down there too."
"Jesus girl, your life sounds like a soap opera. He's the one in the bathroom at the party getting head from your other nemesis, right?"
"Yeah."
"Well, the best revenge is living well. You need to look hot at the reception so that he goes around all night kicking himself for what he did."
I pulled out my reception dress, a nice business-like dress with a dropped waist. I was proud of the dress, it had cost several hundred dollars when I bought it.
"That's straight out of the 80's! Oh God, come to my room. I brought several dresses; we should be able to find one for you." When I didn't budge, she came over, pulled my arm and said firmly, "Come on, let's go."
I reluctantly went with her to the next floor up and we started going through the five dresses she had brought. "I'm wearing this one, but you'd look hot in this one." She held up a plunging red lycra dress with a red satin band along the plunge and around the bottom hem. It was designed to fit snug against the body. I was just sure I was going to look fat in it with the added weight I was sporting.
"Come on, with that blonde hair and cute bod, you'll look great. I'll come down in a half hour to put some make-up on you."
It was my size so I shrugged my shoulders and agreed to wear it, traveling back to my room with the dress. I pulled out my new lace black shoes. At least Danielle would be happy to see I had some sexy 3 inch heels to wear with it.
She came down after I had squeezed into the lycra dress. It had it's own bra which pushed Thelma and Louise as close together as they could get without trading places. It also lifted them up. I looked down and thought I had two bubbles for breasts and any minute they were going to pop out and float away.
She dried my hair with a blow dryer and gel. After she put on the makeup I stood up, looked in the mirror and laughed. The reflection didn't look a thing like me. The lycra pulled in all my pudgy bits and made me look surprisingly sophisticated and sexy. I have nice legs and so I chose the nude sheers to wear under it. The makeup was subtle, topaz and brown eyeliner, but it was the bright red lipstick that really made everything look grown up. I was scared. I think of myself as an intellectual, a doctor, a violinist, not a sexual being.
"I don't think I can go through with this." I said, shaking my head and sitting down, my shoulders slumped forward.
Danielle scoffed, "Don't be ridiculous. I'm jealous of you and if I'm jealous, there won't be a man in that room who won't notice you tonight. Toby will be sick that he couldn't keep it in his pants."
She tugged on my arm and I got up, grabbed my wallet, put my lipstick, money and driver's license inside, and left. We were waiting at the elevator when Robert came up. "Danielle!' He gave her a little welcome shout. He hugged her and as he was hugging, looked over at me. He jumped back at least a foot, "Oh Jesus!" Now Robert was frozen, his eyes round, his mouth slightly open and his body stiff.
"Robert, you're embarrassing me." I said. I looked at Danielle, "I can't do it, look at him."
"Don't be silly." Danielle said just as Chase regained his composure.
"Riley? Riley? Oh wow! You're looking," he swallowed hard, "Uh, you're looking hot. Simply knock out gorgeous. If you weren't my boss I'd hit on you."
I rolled my eyes, "Sure."
"I'm serious." He said it in the most sincere Aussie accent I'd ever heard.
"Thanks."
Chapter 5
Get Set, Ready, Go
House had spent the two hours before the reception napping. He needed to sober up a little. Laying down on the white duvet, he drifted into a deep sleep. When the alarm went off he wanted to hit it and roll over, but he heard a knock on the door.
"House, come on. Get up, let me in." It was Wilson making sure he was getting up. Wilson continued to pound until House finally got up, went to the door, unlocked it and went back to the bed. Wilson flung open the door.
"Oh no you don't. Get up you lazy jerk. You're going to this reception, you need to shmooze, you need to make doctors want to send you cases." He shook House, "Get dressed let's get going, it starts in twenty-five minutes."
"Go away, I have all weekend to shmooze." House growled.
"Yeah, but this is the only time we'll have everyone together getting drunk. You need to hit while they're softened up. Come on."
House gave him a look that could kill and then rolled out of the bed. He went into the bathroom, peed and started the shower. The face in the mirror was clearly hung over with deep circles and blood shot eyes. He looked through his toilet bag and found the eye drops. Putting them in, he gave himself a light trim, making sure he shaved the hairs from his ears and clipping his nose hairs too. He got into the shower and let it run down his face and chest. The warm water felt good. He stood there for several minutes until he saw a hand reach in and turn the knob quickly to the right. The water turned instantly cold and his balls immediately shriveled and ran for cover.
"Mother Fucker...Wilson!"
"Come on! We need to get going House."
House toweled off, brushed his teeth and put on his clothes. He had brought his Hugo Boss Gray suit because it not only fit the best, but he got the most compliments from the chicks in it.
They took the elevator down and found their way to the check-in table. House noticed that Riley hadn't checked in yet. "Dr. O'Sullivan hasn't checked in?"
"Not yet sir, but we do expect her soon."
A nice looking, gray haired man approached House and Wilson. "You know Dr. O'Sullivan?"
"We flew out here together." House said without blinking and with a tone that implied intimacy.
"Oh." He was obviously upset over it. "I'm Dr. Toby Powell, UCLA, Neurology."
"James Wilson, Princeton-Plainsboro, Oncology." Wilson shook Toby's hand.
"Greg House..."
"Thee Greg House? Oh, I had no idea that Riley was seeing you. Well, she certainly has a penchant for pestiferous men. When we lived together she was always moaning about what a prima dona I was. And now she ends up with Greg House?" he chuckled.
House looked sideways at him, trying to imagine what must have happened between Toby and Riley. He took a stab, "Yes, well she told me what you did. I had to promise I wouldn't do that."
"Yeah, well that turned out to be a big mistake. Not worth what it cost me. You're a lucky man Dr. House. She gave me two of the best years of my life."
Wilson was about to blow the whistle on House when he saw her. His eyes flew open, blinking rapidly like he was seeing things. House and Toby turned to look. There was Danielle, Chase and Riley walking towards them. Riley was by far the sexiest woman they had all seen in a long time. House smiled roguishly and then walked straight up to her.
He whispered, "I met your cheating ex. This is for his benefit." He put both arms around her, bent her back a little and gave her a kiss, his tongue quickly darting into her mouth and searching for hers. She tried to pull away, but then briefly saw the look on Toby's face and realized this was sweet, sweet revenge. So Riley kissed back, pushing her body into House's and putting her hand up on the back of his head to keep him to her lips. She let him explore her lips and her mouth and then when he started to pull back, she latched gently onto his bottom lip with her teeth, playfully pulling it out a little and then letting it go.
Oh my God? What was that about? Toby's never going to buy that I'm with a man or that I could even get a man. He kisses really well. And me, biting House's lip. I've never bitten anyone in my life. Oh dear, now what have I done? I'm so damn inept. And why Greg House? I should have bit Robert.
House and Riley looked up to see four people completely dumbfounded and unable to move. House smiled at them and said, "Darling, let's get you checked in." They moved through the four frozen bodies and over to the check-in table. House looked down at the old lady and said, "Dr. Riley O'Sullivan."
Wilson went over to Danielle, "Would you like to tell me what just happened?"
Danielle looked over at a very distraught Toby and asked Wilson, "Is that guy's name, Toby?" Wilson nodded yes. She smiled at Chase and Wilson and then nodded towards Toby, "Living well is the best revenge, gentlemen. And without sniping, arguing or keying his car, Riley just dealt a blow to her ex that he won't soon forget. I know I won't. I don't know about you, but it felt like I was in the middle of a porno film. I'm pretty sure that little show was for Toby's benefit." She turned back to Wilson, "Well Jim, it's good to see you here, let's get me checked in and we can flirt."
Riley said out of the side of her mouth to House, "If you think for one minute this means anything between us, you're delusional. I did that..."
"...for the benefit of Toby Powell, your ex-boyfriend. I understand, but we'll need to stay near each other if you're going to carry it off." House was laughing inside. This was perfect. Now he and Riley would be side by side throughout the reception. It meant that every time Riley tried to talk up her new department, there would be House reminding them all that he was the best and was only a few miles from her.
Riley didn't benefit from this insight until half way through the reception. House had been close by her side as they made their way through the crowd.
House whispered in her ear, "You look stunning in that outfit. Every man in here would like to throw you on the floor, tear that dress off and bang you. Only I know what a snooze that would be."
She said nothing. Instead she walked up to a crowd of men who all turned, did a double take and said, "Riley!" in unison.
One short, balding but intelligent looking doctor with a name tag of "Richard Cohen" said, "We didn't recognize you! My God Princeton has been good to you. Hey we hear that you're in Diagnostics. Going up against House?"
House was glued to her side. She flushed red, "We like to think that there's room for everyone. We've got a great track record so far and just received a huge grant to build up the department.'
"Yeah, but we hear that this House guy is uncanny, brilliant, but a bit of an ass. He's been doing it so long, how can you compete with his track record?"
House stuck out his hand, "She can't. Greg House."
The doctor was clearly stunned and a little embarrassed. "Richard Cohen."
"She can't compete and she'll soon see that. But in the meantime, it's fun watching her crash and burn."
Richard turned to Riley, "Oh dear, you two competing? I'm glad I'm on the west coast. Well Riley, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. Maybe in your pants tonight, but not in your shoes."
House towered over him and got in his face, "Don't be such a Dick, Dick."
Riley grabbed House's arm and led him out to the hall. "Thanks for sticking up for me, but I can take care of myself. I see what you're doing now and I was stupid for letting you get away with that kiss. I've been doing a lot of stupid things lately. But can we call a truce tonight? I suspect you're here because your boss doesn't like me getting all the publicity back East. So we're both here to drum up referrals. We're going to screw each other's chances if we stick together. So please, when we go in there, mingle by yourself and I'll do the same."
"I don't think so. They see you, then they see me. They see a hot woman in a sexy dress and they think, "Do I send my gravely ill patient to a sexpot or to House. He may be an ass but he pulls miracles out of his ass. She's a blonde bimbo with a great ass; I'm just an ass."
He makes a good point. Riley had a come back, "Or maybe they think, gee, Riley has a good reputation and she's hot. Maybe I can score with her if I send her a patient. It's a win-win for them. Patient gets good care and they can deal with me and not the temperamental Gregory House."
House's grin was gone. She made a compelling argument. If only she hadn't been so lousy in bed. But that kiss was hot. I had to shake my leg after it. Hmm. "I'll be around, you may not know when I'll pop up next to you to give you some lovin' for your boyfriend's education."
"He's not my boyfriend, he's a maniacal egomaniac. You'd like him, it would be like talking to a mirror."
"I'm a misanthrope not a maniacal egomaniac, or haven't you heard?"
"If that's what you need to believe to get you through the nights. Right now you're a thorn in my side."
"Well, you're dead weight." he grinned. The reference to their night of sex was not lost on Riley.
She glared at him and walked away. He just smiled. I haven't had so much fun yanking someone's chain since Wilson dated Cuddy. He went back in and started to shmooze with Wilson.
A couple of hours later, Riley was sharing a joke with a group of doctors when she felt a hand on her butt, rubbing just so slightly up and down. Before she could pull away she felt his breath in her ear, tickling the hairs on her neck, "You're boyfriend is standing just a few feet from us watching you like a hawk." He reached down and kissed her neck, sending a delicious shiver down her spine. Her groin started to send out strange signals.
Riley clenched her teeth and put her arm around House's waist. House now planted his hand firmly on her butt and rubbed it with more enthusiasm. Riley looked over her shoulder, but there was no Toby. He wasn't even in the room. She looked up into House's eyes who shrugged, "Everybody lies."
She jerked her body away from him and kicked his cane from his hand and then kicked him in the shin. Everyone inhaled in horror, watching this woman kick a cripple. She turned around and saw their looks. "He was grabbing my butt!" They all seemed to relax and chalked it up to a domestic row.
House reached down carefully for the cane, balancing delicately on his one good leg. As she left the circle of men, she gave him the lightest shove and he went tumbling over onto his butt. She stomped out of the room, her hand clenched, her body straight as a board and her head in the air. He sat on the floor, admiring her exit and laughing the whole time.
His presentation was the next day at ten in the morning. Cameron had put together the Power-Point presentation, so it wasn't going to be hard to demonstrate what Diagnostics did that was different from the other specialties. House was almost done with the presentation. Chase leaned over to Wilson, "My God, he's really doing a great job. He's funny, interesting and informative. Who would have thought?"
"Occasionally he can be rational and mature. It's like Haley's comet, you only see it every fifty years or so and then it's so fleeting you wonder if it really happened."
One doctor had the audacity to stand up to House, "This isn't a real specialty. Diagnostics is what every doctor does."
Wilson and Chase both instinctively ducked their heads as they waited for House to respond. Riley just watched House turn from bored to pissed, "You must be the guy who can't figure out why lite beer weighs as much as regular beer." The audience was laughing as House turned back to the topic on the screen.
The guy didn't give up. "House, you're a fraud. You had to make up your own specialty, because no one would have you in theirs."
Riley jumped to her feet, dressed in simple slacks and white blouse, "Excuse me, but you remind me of the proctologist that thought he could do brain surgery and now the guy has shit for brains. Haven't you been listening? Dr. House has been solving medical problems that idiots like you either mis-diagnose or pass off to someone else. He doesn't pass the buck, he keeps it on his table until the problem is solved. And that's not easy, especially when you get a patient that has been passed around so often by guys like you that now he's dying and you've got 24 hours to save him. You better believe it's a specialty and we need more specialists like him. I'm proud to say that I'm working in the same field and find it more challenging than any of the several specialties that I've worked in."
The guy blushed, but came back, "Yeah and which Bermuda med school did you go to?" There was a gasp through the audience. The majority of the doctors attending were west coast doctors and knew R. B. O'Sullivan by sight. Most doctors from the east coast had never met her, but knew her impressive work through her articles. Unfortunately, the east coast doctors usually assumed that anyone with that impressive a background must be a man. Someone leaned over to the guy and whispered something in his ear. He looked at Riley, turned white and simply said, "Oh." He sat down without any further repartee. There was laughter through the audience when he sat down defeated. At the end of his presentation, House received a hearty applause. House looked down and motioned for Riley to come to the stage. He looked serious.
She approached the stage, her eyes searching his, "Yes?" She asked, pretty sure he was going to thank her for her support.
"You know your little tirade? I hope you don't think it means I'm going to sleep with you again." House turned back to his computer, ignoring her and continuing with putting his computer away.
Riley was shaking and blushing. Chase came up and grabbed her for the next seminar and she took off. Wilson went on stage to help House gather his stuff.
"Well, Riley sure came to your defense."
"She's got it bad for me."
"You know, if you're not interested in her, I'd like to ask her out."
"Seriously?" He looked a little upset.
Wilson didn't know how to take this, "Only if you aren't interested. I thought you said it was the worst sex you ever had."
He started wavering, his head swinging back in forth in indecision. "She was really drunk. Who knows what it would have been like if she had been awake. I mean the post-its were funny."
"Think about it and get back to me." Wilson said shaking his head at his friend's indecision.
House and Wilson went to lunch on the pier in Santa Monica. The restaurant with the best view was a Mexican Restaurant. Chase, Danielle and Riley were sitting at a booth nearby. House kept watching them. Riley was keenly aware that they were being watched. She was still annoyed by House's remarks and demeanor. He was starting to pierce her anger management training.
"Riley, he's doing it to get a rise out of you. Ignore him." Chase said.
"I feel like there are two blue ice cubes on me...I want to just flip him off."
"He'd enjoy that. It would only encourage him. Come on, let's switch subjects. Which seminar are you going to after this?" Chase asked.
Danielle piped up, "We're going to the Santa Monica Promenade to shop. My girlfriend here needs a lesson on what to wear."
"She could start with that dress last night." Chase said smiling.
"It was her dress." Riley nodded at Danielle.
"Buy one like it...you were hot. Can I say that to my boss?"
"I'm not offended. I'm just uncomfortable showing my breasts and legs at the same time. It didn't feel like any man in that room looked me in the eye, unless my eyes had dropped a foot lower."
Chase started chuckling, "They sure looked good last night. You ought to let them out more often."
A piece of bread hit the side of Riley's head, "Oh, he didn't just throw a piece of bread at me, did he? Is this like the grammar school boy who hits you because he likes you?" Riley asked.
"Ignore him. He does childish things...let it go." Chase cautioned.
Riley kept going through her anger management training. She could feel herself calming down when another piece of bread hit her. She looked sharply at House who was pretending to look away from her to indicate he didn't do it. Wilson was looking at her sheepishly, his lips tight together. She took the two pieces of bread and walked over to House's table. She put a piece in each of her palms and then brought them quickly in and boxed his ears with the bread. The bread went everywhere, in his ears, down his shirt, on the floor, in his beer. She calmly walked back to the table as House sat there like a dog shaking his head to get the bread out.
"Crap." She said.
"What?" Chase asked.
"I should have buttered it first!" They all laughed, paid the bill and left.
Danielle and Riley had a great time shopping. The Santa Monica Promenade was a few blocks away from the hotel and was comprised of several blocks of shops; the streets having been blocked off and vendors with carts lining the middle of the streets. Danielle refused to let Riley purchase anything that made her look frumpy. Riley was having some nervous moments, like when she purchased a dress she thought was too revealing, leather pants she thought were too tight, or a top that clung too tight and plunged too low. Danielle took her to the hair salon and made them cut of the brown tips, leaving her with very short, but very blonde hair.
"You look like a cute little pixie. Your nose is small, your ears are tiny, your eyes are big. With your hair short you either look like a fairy or one of those aliens from Close Encounters."
"I feel silly, men are going to look at me and laugh."
Chapter 6
The Mickey Mouse Club
We bought one more outfit, a new khaki green shirtdress and brown Coach shoes for my panel presentation on Saturday. The shirtdress, emphasized my waistline while the short hem showed off my legs. The 2.5 inch heels were high enough to bring out definition in my calves, but not high enough to cause me to be uncomfortable.
That night was the convention's fun trip to Disneyland. Everyone bundled up and got in the four large buses with an open bar. I had been to Disneyland probably thirty times in my life so this was no big deal for me. But Chase and Danielle were excited. Danielle had been to Disney World a couple of times, but she was still acting like a little kid. We went through security, let the guards look in our bags and as I went through the turnstyles, I looked up just in time to see the guards assisting House through the handicap gate.
I was annoyed by the fact that House was allowed into Disneyland. It felt like the Grinch had just been allowed into the Happiest Kingdom on Earth. "They let him in...they even opened up the gate for the devil." I yelled loudly.
Chase looked at me and said, "Golly shucks, I bet he had a ticket to get inside. Amazing what they let in with a ticket." Chase enjoyed teasing me.
"It just doesn't seem right." I pouted just a little.
As they walked in, Goofy was standing, waving at all the doctors. "Oh wow, take my photo with Goofy." I handed my camera to Chase. He laughed at how excited I was to see Goofy. "You know, the only character better than Goofy would be Winnie the Pooh." I told him.
I was standing with Goofy when House came over and put his arm around me just as Chase clicked the camera. I pushed him off and he looked at me and then Chase.
"Chase, email me that photo." He took off with Wilson.
The next time I saw him he was buying some cotton candy. When he turned around with the cotton candy in his hand, he actually looked very sexy. I was fascinated as his tongue came out to pull the cotton candy off and into his mouth. He looked at me, gave me one of those cat smiles as he walked slowly over to me, took a piece of cotton candy and held it out over my upturned mouth. It seemed strange. There I stood in the middle of Main Street U.S.A. looking at my rival and he wanted to feed me cotton candy. I felt like he was offering me the apple of knowledge. Shaking the thought flashed that we were going to get kicked out of The Garden of Eden.
Did I tell him to go screw himself? Did I turn and walk away. No, I opened my mouth and took the Cotton candy from him and then licked his fingers. He watched as I took the cotton candy from him, smiling down at me. I knew then that the snake in the garden of Eden had blue eyes.
"Want to go on Space Mountain with me?" He asked.
"No, I want to go ride Indiana Jones. But thanks." I turned, ran and caught up with Chase and Danielle. I took one look behind me and he was still pulling the cotton candy off with his tongue and smiling at me. "Oh boy, is he playing me." I said to my two cohorts.
"Well as long as you know it." Chase said.
We had a blast riding the big rides in the park until eleven. My feet were killing me and so we decided to grab the monorail over to the Disneyland Hotel and start drinking. We weren't the only doctors with that brilliant idea. We walked in and started waving to all the doctors nursing beers and Margaritas. I collapsed in a booth and ordered a Margarita, frozen, with salt.
Chase and Danielle went over to the bar and began talking to some other doctors. I started licking the rim of my Margarita to taste the salt before I took a drink. I looked up to see House standing next to me. Before I could say anything he started to bend down, almost sitting down in my lap, "Scoot over. Come on, scoot." I couldn't believe he was pushing me over with those long fingers of his.
I reluctantly moved over further into the booth. I gave him plenty of room to sit down and to put some space between us, but he kept scooting next to me. I stopped scooting and gave him a look of superiority (or at least I hoped it looked superior-it was my best Queen Elizabeth pose.)
"Why don't you make yourself useful, my feet ache, rub them for me." I leaned back in the booth and put my right foot up in his lap. I thought for sure he would just slap it away with some mean comment, but he grabbed it and began to massage my arch and heel and then the ball of my feet and up my ankle and calf. After ten minutes on my right foot, he dropped it and waved for me to give him my left foot. I did and almost fell asleep. When he was done, House put my foot down. I looked up at him and finally said, "Why are you being such an ass?"
He looked surprised, "Ass? I just massaged your stinky, sweaty feet."
"I know you're playing me. You know you're playing me. I can keep taking advantage of this, let you give me cotton candy, rub my feet and whatever else you want to do for me, but what are you getting out of this?"
"The more I learn about you, the more I have to use against you when we get back to Princeton."
"Fair enough. What do you want to know?"
"Why have you never been married?"
"I've been busy. What about you?"
"I lived with a woman for a long time, but we never married."
"Oh. Been there, done that. Never again. I've decided that living together isn't worth it. Next time, I want to be married so I can tear a piece of ass off and take it with me when it ends."
"That's a lovely way to think about marriage."
"I don't expect to get married, so it really doesn't matter what I think."
"Why Princeton General? Why Diagnostics?"
"I was running away from Toby. Princeton liked my resume and wanted to compete with PPTH so here I am. We're doing well. You should never have let Chase get away. Are you still seeing the woman he was in love with?"
"No, that ended before Christmas. But let's talk about you."
"Nah, the little hand and the big hand say it's time to catch the bus back." I got up, left a tip and went to the bar to grab my friends. I turned and looked but he was already gone.
We got back and I got ready for bed. I have to admit, I was incredibly confused. I thought about the night we spent together and the fact that he had no qualms about putting me in a cab or dropping me out the door as fast as he could; how he told everyone I was a lousy lay; and his quips about me going down in flames. He was rude and arrogant. But on the other hand, he was playful and entertaining. His presentation was incredible. His intelligence was obvious. Confused? I didn't know if I was attracted to him or appalled by him.
The next day I had a good breakfast because I knew I was going to skip lunch to prepare for my panel which was on at 1:00pm. Chase came down and ate breakfast with me. I was glad to have his company. We were fast becoming the best of friends with just a hint of flirting.
"Robert, House told me that he's no longer seeing the woman you like. Did you know that?"
"Yeah, they broke up just before Christmas. But I'm seeing a woman now who I really enjoy."
"What was her name, the one that you and House both had a thing for?"
"Allison Cameron."
"How old is she?"
"29."
I was shocked that she was so young. "How old is House?"
"He'll be 49 in June."
"Whoa. Twenty years difference? Why do older men go after younger women? I don't get it."
"To be fair to House, she went after him. She threw herself at him at every turn and he finally gave in, accepted her offer."
"She threw herself at House? Hmmm. If I was young I wouldn't be going after House, he looks like he's pretty much burned himself out. And he's so bitter, unhappy."
He shrugged, "Cameron likes him. I can't tell you why, but she was attracted to him and it had to play out or she'd never move on. But I couldn't wait. I got tired of watching her throw herself at him. She deserves someone more willing to give her what she needs. She deserves better."
"I think I love you." I teased him. He chuckled.
"Have you ever thought about the two of us?" he asked as nonchalantly as he could.
"Not a fair question. You're my employee and I don't believe in craping in your own back yard. It's one thing if you work in different specialties or departments, but when you're employer-employee, it gets messy."
"After what I saw at PPTH, I'd have to agree. It's a shame though, I've always found you attractive, even when you were a mousy brown haired girl with glasses."
"Thank you." I chuckled as I took a sip of my tea, "You know, despite the new clothes, I still am that girl."
"That's what makes you so hot. Now, are you ready for your presentation?"
"I think so. I give talks all the time, I've done my homework."
I went in and met with the other two panel speakers. I was going to give a presentation on infectious diseases caused by bacteria while the others were presenting infectious diseases from viruses and zoonotic pathogens. For the day I was the queen of bacteria.
I was last on the program and had to sit through all of the presentations. When it was my turn to give my presentation, I made sure I had located House in the audience. It wasn't hard, he was in the back row in an orange baseball cap that simply said "WTF?".
I began talking about the various bacterial pathogens that had either mutated or emerged during the year. I spent a lot of time on the new Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus. "Although MRSA has traditionally been seen as a hospital-associated infection, community-acquired MRSA strains have appeared in recent years, notably in the U.S. and Australia."
I continued with the next superbug, "A new, virulent Enterococcus bacteria, responsible forurinary tract infections, bacteremia, bacterial endocarditis, diverticulitis, and meningitis, is now resistant to vancomycin. Vancomycin-Resistant Enterococcus, or "VRE" has emerged in nosocomial infections of hospitalized patients especially in the US. VRE may be treated with Quinupristin dalfopristin with response rates of approximately 70." I spent another ten minutes on the genetics and symptoms of the disease before moving on.
I switched windows on my computer, "We turn to Clostridium difficile which produces a toxin in hospitalized patients causing C. difficile-associated diarrhea. C. difficile is linked to up to 70 of cases of antibiotic-associated colitis, and this increases to more than 90 in cases of antibiotic-associated pseudomembraneous colitis." I spent another twenty minutes on C. Difficile.
I switched windows again, "And now I was asked by the other panel members to update you on Ebola."
I heard House grumble loudly, "Ebola's not a bacteria."
I turned and faced House, "Of course you're right Dr. House, but I was asked by Dr. McEwan to cover Ebola because of my experience with the disease."
"Your resume says you haven't been in Africa for several years. This is suppose to be about current developments, not developments in 2002." House said loudly.
"Well, I have current information."
"How current?"
I felt a embarrassed that he would confront me after my public support of him just yesterday. I knew I had to pinch this in the bud. I looked House directly in his long amused face and said, "I've just been briefed by the CDC on the current outbreak in the Congo. I'm flying to the Congo in a week to assist in controlling and investigating the current outbreak." His smirk dropped and he was clearly sobered by my announcement. "That's why I'm sporting this new, short hairdo, I find it much easier to deal with short hair when I'm having to change in and out of Personal Protection Equipment. So, Dr. House, do you considered me qualified to continue with this talk?"
He said nothing but indicated by his hand for me to move forward. I showed the first window of my Power Point display, "Just today it was announced that three organ donor patients died of a new virus related to the Ebola virus. Interestingly enough, the donor was in Europe prior to his death. We can't link him to Africa at this time. The virus was found in three Melbourne patients who died just weeks after they received organs from a 57-year-old man who suffered a fatal brain hemorrhage one week after returning from Europe. Australian officials say the infection is similar to lymphocytic choriomeningitis virus infection, which has been linked to the deaths of several transplant patients in the US. This appears to be a new virus which we will be monitoring closely."I went on to discuss what we knew about the current outbreak of the new virus and then fielded dozens of questions about it.
"The current Ebola outbreak in Africa? What's the scoop?" a woman in the front row asked.
"Most of you probably know that approximately one quarter of the Gorilla and ape population in Africa has died as a result of Ebola. We believe we are close to a vaccination for the apian disease. Hopefully, we can then adapt the vaccine for humans. So, although there is good news out there, we are sad to report that we currently have an outbreak in the Democratic Republic of Congo along the border of Uganda where most of the fighting with the Ugandan Rebels is occurring. So far there are 65 dead and 32 ill in one village south of Isiro. The village was quarantined but we've had sporadic reports of deaths in nearby villages and one death in a town forty miles away. We think that the disease is spreading quicker because it has adapted to humans and is about to jump or has jumped into a more virulent form. I'll be taking samples from humans, mammals and plants to determine why the disease was able to migrate from the quarantined village."
"So this is a new variant?" the woman asked.
"We originally expected it to be Ebola Zaire because we're in the Congo. But it now appears to be more similar to Ebola Sudan with one exception. There have been some polymorphisms that have the CDC and WHO stumped. So a team of us are flying out to assist in solving the puzzle."
"What is the percentage of health care workers that get the disease?" she asked.
"Typically ten to thirty-three percent, depending on their personal protection equipment and isolation controls."
House had leaned forward and was now listening intently to what she was saying. Why do doctors do this? They run head on into an area where a butt-ugly virus is running rampant through the villagers and stick their nose in it. I don't understand that type of altruism. It's Africans dying, let African doctors take the risk. And why her? She just took this job at Princeton General. Why does she feel the need to jump on a plane and run into the burning building? Especially when it's a new, more prolific variant? What does she get from it? Publicity? Kudos? Women are stupid. How they ever managed to populate the earth is a miracle. He looked closely at her short blonde hair, her pink lips, her pixie face and couldn't help shaking his head. She's a tiny little thing. She's one of those Chihuahuas who take on the Doberman Pincers. Damn, I'll miss yanking her chain. She'll be gone and there won't be anyone to drive crazy except for my usual victims. I was just warming up. I wonder if I can convince her to stay? He looked at Riley. She was confident, strong and obviously brave. There wasn't a bone of doubt in her body when she talked about bacteria, viruses and infectious diseases.
Riley looked around the audience and then saw the strangest look on House's face. He was looking intently at her, interested in what she was saying. His features had softened. He didn't have a frown or a smirk, but he didn't have a smile either. He was giving her an unconscious look of approval. She went back to her presentation and finally ended it only when the moderator had to clear the room for the next session. As she packed up her things, dozens of doctors raced up to her to ask questions about bacterial and viral diseases.
She grabbed her computer and cheat sheet and walked out of the room followed by a large crowd of curious men. Doctors clamored to ask her questions. She held court in the hallway; holding an impromptu question and answer session. She covered other viruses, bacteria and zoonotic diseases even though her presentation had been limited to bacteria and the Ebola virus. House stood back, leaned casually on his cane and watched her. Wilson watched House watch her.
"I'm guessing that you would prefer I not ask her out?" Wilson said.
"She won't go anyway."
"Thanks for the vote of approval. I don't think I look that bad."
"She's not going out with anyone. She's one week away from charging into Africa to face off with a new variant of Ebola. She's not going to want to begin any relationships before she leaves."
"That's probably true. You have to admire her, I don't think I'd go over there. WHO lost three people during the last outbreak. She's awfully brave."
House furrowed his brow, squinted his eyes and frowned like he had a bad taste in his mouth. Shaking his head he said, "No, she's not awfully brave, she's awfully stupid. What idiot jumps on a plane, flies thousands of miles to a country run by hoards of thugs and infested with a disease like Ebola? I don't admire her, I pity her. What in her past has made her want to sacrifice herself like that? She must have pretty low self-esteem."
"She didn't look like she had low self-esteem up there. So I take it you don't care if I ask her out?"
"If her self-esteem is so low that she has to prove to herself she's alive by running into an Ebola epidemic, then she's too needy for you. You'll marry her to save her from herself."
"If you're not going to ask her out, then I am."
"Cuddy will eat you alive. Riley O'Sullivan is the enemy. She's trying to take food out of Cameron and Foreman's mouth and whiskey out of mine. You can't screw the enemy."
"You did."
"But she wasn't the enemy then. It's kind of like sleeping with Sadam Hussain before 1990. Until he identified himself as the enemy, he was just an ass."
"Let's get out of here." Wilson said.
The next day Wilson, Riley, House and Chase were all catching the same flight back to Princeton. This time Chase was sitting in the aisle seat next to Riley. Riley collapsed and fell asleep. House got up, went over and nudged Chase with his cane. He whispered in Chase's ear, "Wilson wants to talk to you."
Wilson was sitting with headphones on watching a movie. Chase was suspicious, Wilson seemed engrossed in the movie. But Chase, like the good employee he was, still responded to House's suggestion and went back to talk to Wilson. House sat down next to Riley. Riley was hidden behind the sleep mask which came in the little first class toiletry packet. She was drifting in and out of a light sleep. House looked at the tiny wispy hairs on her neck and smiled. He reached down and blew softly at the little hairs.
Riley wasn't sure at first what she was feeling, but she soon realized it must be Chase's breath on her neck. Is he blowing on my neck? She jumped when she felt the fingers on her knee. What is he doing? I thought I made it clear that we can't be together. I'll pretend I'm asleep and that I'm oblivious to what he's doing. Hopefully, if there is no response he'll stop. I just hope he doesn't see the goose bumps going all the way down my arms and back.
Then she felt his lips softly graze her earlobes like a feather tickling her. She shuddered and shifted away from him in her seat, still pretending to be asleep under the mask. House smiled. He rubbed her knee gently and then her lower thigh before moving his hand slowly up the inseam of her pants. Riley stopped breathing. She was nervous for two reasons. First, she didn't want Chase to know she wasn't asleep and second, she didn't want Chase to know she was getting excited. His hand was only a few inches from her crotch. Riley took in a deep breath. He brushed the zipper of her chinos lightly with his fingers. It was almost imperceptible.
It's been a long time since I've been this aroused. I bet he's a great lover. Now what do I do? I can't let this go any further no matter how good it feels. This has to stop or we're going to do something we both regret. I don't know how to face him. I can't look at him right now or he'll see how turned on I am. Just say something. Say something to him.
She grabbed House's hand and pushed it away. Without lifting her mask she simply said, "As nice as that feels Robert, I'm not going to pull a House. We have to keep this professional. I'm sorry, but it really is out of the question. I've already told you that inter-office affairs get too messy." He stopped. She waited but he said nothing. I must have really hurt his feelings. I'm just as responsible for this, for flirting with him.
House smiled at the reference to him and Cameron and then got up. He exchanged places with Chase. He had hoped to induce her to join him in the bathroom, but letting her think he was Chase was just too sweet. He imagined all sorts of ways that the scenario could play out.
Chase took out his headphones after getting back to his seat. Riley was still concerned about hurting Chase's feelings. Just as Chase was putting the headphones on, Riley lifted her mask and gave him a sad little smile. "Robert, I think I should say something. I don't want to go to Africa and you not know how I feel. I do find you attractive and I must say you have some great moves. I think you're hot and you obviously can get me excited, you send shivers down my spine. So even if being together isn't in the cards, I just wanted you to know how I felt."
Chase blinked and gave her a puzzled look, "I don't know what to say. I think you're hot Riley, really hot and I'm flattered that you find me exciting. Perhaps we can talk more about it when you come back from Africa. I need time to digest everything you just said."
"Sure. I can understand that. I just thought I should clarify my position so you wouldn't think I was a cold b!tch."
"I could never think that." He smiled at her and then reached over and kissed her a little too long between her cheek and neck. She smiled sweetly back at him.
House was surprised as he watched the kiss and the warm smile. He hadn't expected that. What happened? With her, nothing goes the way I plan. I don't understand her.
The following week was busy for Chase and Riley. They were interviewing Fellows for the department. There had been a lot of applicants, over fifty. Riley had photocopied their resumes, told Chase to pick twenty and she picked twenty. Nine of them overlapped and so they were called in for interviews.
"So Nancy, tell me, why would you pick Diagnostics for your fellowship?" Chase asked the pleasant looking 27 year old.
Riley watched as the candidate turned to face him, sitting straight in her chair straight as a mannequin. "I've been interested in it ever since I read the articles in JAMA about Dr. House and his work."
"That's great that you kept up on it. What do you think Diagnosticians do?" Riley asked.
"Dr. House said that they pull miracles out of their ass." She started laughing.
"So you saw Dr. House lecture somewhere?" Riley asked.
"Oh, no. I interviewed with him yesterday. They're looking to replace one of the Fellows who died."
Chase looked stunned, "Died?"
"Dr. House said that he was killed by too much hair product and that when they shipped his body back to Australia they had to shave his head to get it to fit."
Chase rolled his eyes at Riley. Riley chuckled, "Did you tell Dr. House you were interviewing with us?''
"He asked and I didn't want to lie. He said that I would fit right in over here."
The interview lasted another ten minutes and then they let Nancy go. They both put their heads back and moaned a little. Riley shook her head, "I don't believe this. He's just now getting around to replacing you? We're going to get his sloppy seconds if we don't do something quickly."
Chase sat bolt upright. " I have it. You know those five minute date set ups at restaurants? You sit down, talk for five minutes, and then move to the next person?" Riley shook her head yes. "If these applicants are interviewing with him and us, then they're probably already in town. Let's call, round up as many as we can, invite them tonight to the Triumph and you sit in one booth, me in another. If we like a person after five minutes, we ask them to stay. If we don't like them, we just tell them to show up for their appointment at the hour set. When they do, I can give them a quick interview and send them on their way. In the meantime, we can interview the ones we like tonight."
"What if they aren't in town?"
"Well, if we don't like any of the ones that are, then we wait for the others to arrive. But face it, if they're already here for an appointment with House too, then they're probably the pick of the litter. He doesn't like to interview, so he'd make Foreman and Cameron do all of his homework."
"Damn, you're good. You scare me Robert. You think like House sometimes."
"I know, Cameron said the same thing. I like to think I'm nicer though."
"You don't have to think, you are."
That night six of the seven remaining applicants sat silently at tables in a secluded portion of the bar.
Riley got up and addressed them collectively, "I am so sorry to do this, but I have to prepare for a trip to Africa to help with an outbreak of Ebola." There were some ooohs and ahhhs. "I only have tonight to get to know you. So first you'll talk to Dr. Robert Chase and then to me. Dr. Chase will give you a more thorough interview at the time already set, but this just lets me get an idea of who you are before I leave."
They conducted the mini-interviews and Riley was delighted with how fast and efficient they were. The applicants got straight to the heart of their assets and didn't try to dazzle her with any phoney banter. By the end of the evening they had two good candidates whom they asked to come back at 8:00 pm and 8:15 pm.
After the two returning applicants were done interviewing both Chase and Riley knew that the woman, Blair Swensen was the best fit. They asked her to join the team.
"I don't know what to say. I have an interview on Thursday with Dr. Gregory House and I'd really like to see what he says."
Riley nodded, "I can understand, but this is a chance to take a 3.0 million dollar grant and build the best Diagnostics department in the country. And I can assure you that I'm a lot easier to work for than Dr. House. Ask Robert here, he worked for Dr. House for three years."
Robert turned on the charm. "He's abusive, called us idiots and morons every day; made us stay all night while he went home and drank. He pretended to have brain cancer so he could get a new drug implanted in his brain to give him a high; he pops Vicodin like mad; and, he likes to mess with your mind. You'll hate him. On the bright side, we're offering you 15,000 more a year than him and you get to work with R.B. O'Sullivan. That in itself will look good on your resume. But we need your answer now. We want to get this nailed down before Riley leaves so that I will have help in her absence. You won't be coddled, we'll put you and your abundant talent to work right away."
Riley almost choked when Chase said "abundant talent," but held it back when she saw that the flattery was working. The woman nodded yes. "I think I'll take you up on your offer." Riley whipped out two copies of the Fellowship contract and had her sign each one. She didn't want to take any chances. They all shook hands, sat down and had a couple of rounds of drinks.
House walked into his office the next morning and looked at his desk. Sitting in two piles were numerous journals, letters and documents. Cameron handled the mail and messages so she always organized them into two piles, the pile that had to be seen right away and the pile that could wait for a lull between patients. House was pleasantly surprised to see that the urgent pile was rather small.
He picked up the pink message slip, "Blair Swensen has accepted another Fellowship and will not be interviewing on Thursday."
House had an immediate visceral reaction. He hobbled quickly into the outer office to talk to Cameron, "What did she say? What exactly did she say?"
Cameron jumped and then looked at him, her face scrunched up, trying to figure out what he was talking about. "Who?"
"Blair Witch..."
"She simply said to tell you thank you but that she had accepted another fellowship. Why?"
"Because she was the one I was going to hire."
"You hadn't even seen her!"
"I liked her picture and she had all that clinic experience at Balboa Naval Hospital. You see everything in a military hospital. People are constantly brining in all kinds of crap from foreign countries. Damn. Did she leave a number?"
"She called yesterday to confirm her appointment and left her number at the Hyatt."
"Ahhhgggg!" House threw his hands up and shook in frustration. He grabbed his forehead.
"What is wrong with you?"
"If she was here, it means that she was hired by Princeton General. Your boyfriend managed to talk her into joining them."
"So?"
"They beat us to the punch. They pulled the rug out from under us again." He banged the table with his fist, "Damn!"
"There are other qualified candidates."
"Yeah, and I bet we're going to find that they've all been interviewed by Riley O'Sullivan and Robert Chase. I don't know how they did this, but we've got to start fighting back."
"Fighting back? You sound like we're at war. Our numbers are the same, we haven't lost any patients, what's your problem?"
"But we will start losing patients if we don't start getting our sh!t together."
Cameron rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Who was your next choice?"
"Call Blair and see if you can get her in here. I still want to talk to her."
By the end of the day, Blair Swensen was sitting across from Gregory House. "Whatever they're paying you, I'll beat it."
She blinked and looked numb. "Dr. House, I've already signed a contract."
He let out a sigh, "Damn." He looked out the window, grabbed the felt ball on his desk and started tossing it, "How did they do it? How did they manage to get you to an interview yesterday. Your interview with them wasn't until Friday."
Her mouth dropped open and she dropped her shoulders. "How did you know that?"
"I've got connections."
"They interviewed all of us last night at the Triumph bar. I signed my contract over Margaritas."
House broke out in a smile. They are good. They out maneuvered me. Either Chase knows me too well or she's just brilliant. "I'll get legal on it and figure a way to break the contract. For one thing, you did sign it in a bar."
"Dr. House, I'm flattered but I really like Dr. O'Sullivan and Dr. Chase was very kind to me." she said.
House saw Cameron shift in her seat. She turn her head so she could hear better at the mention of Chase.
"Dr. Chase is all hair and Dr. O'Sullivan has never run a Diagnostics Department, she's barely flying by the seat of her pants."
"Well, she has a lot of pants to fly by with that 3.0 million dollar grant."
House felt a twinge of anger go through his body. Not at Blair but at Riley and Chase for scoring the grant. Every time he turned around it came back to bite him. He stopped tossing his ball and nodded to the door, "Fine, you can leave. We're done."
"Thank you so..."
"Bye." House said in a voice that clearly indicated the discussion was over.
Blair looked at Cameron and laughed. She turned to both of them, "I suppose when I leave you'll tell her I'm a moron."
Now House was really pissed. So Chase told her all about me. "No, I'll tell you you're a moron right now. You belong with those two." He turned his back to her and grabbed a journal, not to read, but to simply appear as if he was doing something.
Blair left. Cameron looked up at him, "You are such an ass."