Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters. I don't own the music or lyrics.
AN: This is collaboration between The Tomo and BomberBrat (I write Sasori's chapters she writes Deidara's) on an off note, if you get confused Dei-dei doesn't know that Sasori isn't human. Again, this will be on both the accounts of Bomberbrat and me. It will also be on our joint account, Rizto.
Second Chapter by The Tomo
Past the Point of no Return
Chapter 2
Sasori gently placed down a new puppet he was working on. He sighed and sat cross-legged as he pondered. Not a soul had ever told Sasori that they loved him. Including his grandmother, he never said it to anyone. He didn't know what it was. He didn't know what it meant to love another person, or anything. He sighed once more as he ruffled his hair while he scratched his head.
The ginger decided he would try to assess the true meaning of love and what the blonde meant.
He didn't know how to react to such a word. What was so important about four letters, one syllable, two vowels and two consonants? It was just another idiotic word, which tried so desperately to cover so many of human emotions, and led itself into its own demise of overuse. That particular word was dead. It meant nothing because the humans used it for so many different things that it has become nothing. It's not special, it's dead. There is nothing to the meaning of love. It was pointless, and make-believe.
If that whore Deidara wanted to play some make-believe game so badly, he should have wasted someone else's time; not Sasori's.
Sasori cursed to himself as he flopped down on the floor. He put his arms up under the back of his head and stared up at the ceiling.
"Love," he said quietly.
'Damn,' he thought, 'I don't want to be part of such a conformist word to follow blindly in my sheep of ancestors. Love is despiteful. I don't want to be a part of such a dull community of lies and untruthfulness. Love is an excuse to hurt… to cause pain. I don't see the appeal in such a ridiculous ritual of self-sacrifice,' he thought as he traced images in the wood on his ceiling.
'I've read more than a hundred books'
Sasori walked to the foot of his bed and looked at the piles of books on his floor. He skimmed through the titles on the spines of the books until he found the book he wanted. He held up the dictionary and his lips thinned tightly. He didn't want to be so idiotic as to go to the dictionary for such a word as 'love'. He threw down the dictionary and took a couple steps back from it. He sighed and walked over to the door. He took a glance back at his bedroom before leaving.
Sasori stepped out into the main area of the base. He looked over to Kisame and Itachi talking.
"Itachi," he could hear Kisame say, "why do you love dango so damn much?"
Sasori blinked when Kisame had said 'love'. He watched as Itachi took a bite of his dango, ignoring Kisame.
'Love with food?' He thought. He shook his head and continued down the hall. 'That sounds ridiculous,' he told himself.
He stopped in front of Kakazu's room and could head him through the door saying, "Hmm, I need to find more bounties. I love money… Ku, ku, ku."
'Kakazu loves… money… What the hell is going on with this word?' He wondered as he turned back around and went for his room.
'Seen
love mentioned many thousand times
But despite all the places I've
looked'
As he entered his room, Sasori glanced to the dictionary, which was still lying open on his floor. He shook his head and walked over to his working bench and sat down in front of it. He grabbed a couple of his tools and picked up a couple parts which were strewn over his work area. He sighed and tried to focus on what he was doing, rather than such a trivial concept.
'It's
still no clearer; it's just not enough'
The more Sasori tried to put his mind to anything that wasn't love, the more he found himself becoming enraged. He threw an arm down onto the floor with a strong force. He growled and stood up hastily. He looked down at his work bench with fire in his eyes. His fists clenched as he bit his lower lip. 'Love, love, love,' he thought. 'Why can I not get this damned word out of my fucking head?!'
The red-head clenched his head in between his hands and dug his sharp fingernails into himself and began to pull at his hair as hard as he could. He cursed out loud and fell to his knees. His breathing became harder and uneven. He slowly let go of his hair and his arms fell back to his sides.
Honey eyes glared at the work bench through wild stands of ginger hair. His eyebrows drew down more as without any warning Sasori grabbed the ends of his work bench and flipped it over. Puppet parts crashed and scattered across the room as the bench pounded against the floor.
Sasori took a couple deep breaths as he slowly stood back up. He stared down at the mess as his door slowly creaked open.
"Danna?" Spoke the gentle voice of the blonde vixen.
The last possible thing on earth Sasori wanted to deal with right now was Deidara. He growled quietly and was forcing himself not to turn around to gaze at his partner. It would only confuse him more which was something he just couldn't handle right now.
"Go away, brat," Sasori responded. His voice was dark and dripping with annoyance.
"Danna, what happened?" Deidara asked as he took a couple steps into the room, looking at the hysteria. "Are you okay?"
Sasori whipped around and looked Deidara in the eyes. He glared sternly and was thinking of what he could possibly say. No words were coming out of his mouth, and the only word running through his head was 'love'.
"Get the fuck out."
'I'm
still no nearer; the meaning of love'
Sasori watched as Deidara gained a sad look before turning around and leaving. The puppet-master huffed as he closed his door behind the blonde. He turned and leaned his back up against the door, looking around his room. He felt somewhat bad for being so rude to Deidara, but it didn't really matter. He was just so enraged by the ideal of love.
The ginger thought he could use some time out of the base, so he grabbed his sandals and put them on. He grabbed a notebook and pen, and then left the base.
As Sasori arrived to a small park, he saw many couples all cuddled together. He scowled, but decided to watch them all interact. He saw fondness, depression, anger, confusion, and many more worthless emotions. He watched as a girl slapped her companion in the face and raised an eyebrow. He opened his notebook and began to scribble some things down.
'Noted
down all my observations'
Sasori looked down after a while to all the notes he took on couples and their actions. He sighed. 'This isn't helping at all,' he thought as he got up and walked away. He walked through the village and casually walked into a bookstore. He noted the stares he got because of his Akatsuki cloak, but paid no mind to it. He wandered off into the romance section, which made him cringe.
He picked one of the books and flipped it open. He skimmed through it, trying to find a vague explanation of love. He sighed from what the book what telling him.
"What the hell is love?" He asked aloud.
'Spent
an evening watching television
Still I couldn't say with
precision
Know it's a feeling and it comes from above
But what's the meaning, the meaning of love?'
Sasori threw the book down to the floor in anger and made his way out of the bookstore. He slowly found his way back to the base while still over thinking the meaning of love.
'The meaning of love'
Sasori got back to the base and silently made his way to his own room. As he walked in, he saw that his mess from earlier had been cleaned up. "Fucking brat," he cursed as he closed the door behind him.
He sat down on his bed and tossed his notebook down beside him. He stared down at his notebook, contemplating on if he should go through it or not.
He was so sick and tired of feeling like a slave to love. It only made him despise the emotion more. The only meaning of love he could think of was slavery and that didn't sound like anything he wanted in his life.
All he wanted was to live in peace.
He didn't need anybody; only his puppets.
And yet all he could think about was Deidara.
'Tell
me the meaning of love'
Cautiously, Sasori grabbed his notebook and flipped it open to his notes on love. He carefully read through each sentence he wrote, trying to absorb it all. He wrote such a variety of things about every couple he saw, but the main thing that stuck out to him was all the pain that surrounded love.
'From
the notes that I've made so far
Love seems something like wanting
a scar'
Why would anyone want to put themselves through so much emotional pain just to say they are loved? It made no sense to the scorpion. But he knew Deidara couldn't hurt him emotionally, so was it really so bad?
'But
I could be wrong, I'm just not sure you see'
Sasori sighed and tossed his notebook back down to the bed. He laid down and put his arm over his closed eyes.
'I've
never been in love before'
After a while, Sasori got up and left his room. He wandered out and saw Itachi and Kisame standing idly around, casually talking. He gathered a bit of courage, and then walked up to the two.
"Excuse me," Sasori interrupted. "I just wanted to ask something…"
Itachi and Kisame stopped talking and looked down to the ginger with expressionless faces.
'Next
I asked several friends of mine
If they could spare a few minutes
of their time'
Sasori looked up to his fellow Akatsuki members and swallowed his pride. "What is the meaning of 'love'?" He asked quietly.
Kisame looked down to the puppet-master and began to laugh. Itachi showed a small smirk as he asked, "So the almighty Akasuna no Sasori is wondering if he is in love, hm? I thought you said emotions were meaningless and they had no hold over you?"
Sasori glared at the Uchiha and reared back his arm, ready to punch the weasel in the face. He held himself back and simply glared death into Itachi's now activated Sharingan eyes. He lowered his arm and calmly walked away back to his room.
'Their
look suggested that I'd lost my mind'
When he entered his room his looked around. The open dictionary was taunting at him, trying to seduce him into reading the definition of 'love'. As much as he didn't want to degrade himself to that, he could feel his fingers twitching. He turned away from the book and walked to his bed and flopped down onto his back. He placed his hands beneath head and stared up at his ceiling; he swore he could see it moving.
'Tell
me the answer, my Lord high above'
Sasori closed his eyes to ignore the moving patterns dancing across the ceiling. He wished he could forget what was said. He wished he didn't have to torture himself over a worthless emotion; He truly though himself to be better than that.
'Tell me the meaning, the meaning of love
The
meaning of love
Tell me the meaning of love
From the notes that
I've made so far
Love seems something like wanting a scar'
"I give up," he muttered aloud as he readjusted himself to a seated position. He glared over to the dictionary before getting up and walking over to it. He bent down and grabbed it. As he straightened himself back up, he looked down to the book and skimmed quickly for love.
"A strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties
Attraction based on sexual desire affection and tenderness felt by lovers
Affection based on admiration, benevolence
A term of endearment"
'Tenderness? Affection? Endearment?' he questioned. Were these the kinds of things that Deidara felt for him? Sasori read over the words 'sexual desire' once more. Maybe the brat was just horny and confused. Sasori sighed as he closed the book and tossed it to the floor.
'But
I could be wrong, I'm just not sure you see'
Sasori stared down at the book. He still didn't understand which kept him infuriated. He shot his leg out and kicked the book with sudden aggression.
"Fuck," he muttered.
'I've
never been in love before
Tell me the meaning of love'
(TBC)
FINALLY! Hahaha. Yeah… Sorry for the wait… Lazy stoner….