After a lengthy amount of time, Sasuke finally got used to (or, at least, to some degree) the fact that the hamster with the duck-butt hairdo in the mirror was him. He heaved a sigh, leaning his forehead against the glass of the mirror. He wondered why Ji-err- Boss hadn't come up to get him. He wondered why he had come here. He wondered why he was the only one aware of his hamster figure. He wondered why the carpet was pink.

Grumbling gibberish he walked down the stairs, noticing he walked on two feet. He was pondering this when he tripped on what appeared to be a bar of soap (Honestly, who leaves soap lying at the bottom of stairs?!) and landed in an undignified heap with his head stuck in a pail of water. Someone must have decided they didn't feel like taking a shower. In any case, he pulled the pail off and hurled across the room angrily, spraying water everywhere in the process.

"Oh, no, Sasuke! Your Ham-chat book! It's ruined!" Jiraiya/Boss pointed dramatically at a book Sasuke was stepping on. He looked down- sure enough, the ink had been smudged beyond recognition.

"So?" Sasuke retorted. "What the crap is a Ham-chat anyway?"

Jiraiya/Boss appeared to ignore him. "Well, what's done is done, I suppose. Come with me, I'll help you remember the four basic ones."

"Okay…" Sasuke dumbly followed the taller hamster into another room. This one looked like a dance studio…floor… thing. Jiraiya/Boss stopped in front of what appeared to be two lumps of soil, and then turned to him.

"Alright, first one." He did something Sasuke interpreted as a bad dance move. "Hamha!"

Sasuke stared. Jiraiya/Boss returned it.

"Well? Go on, try it."

Oh god no. "Why in the world can't I just say hello?!"

"Sasuke. Do it. You have to learn your Ham-chats again."

The poor raven-haired lad (hamster?) sighed in defeat, then half-heartedly did the awkward dance step.

"Ham…ha…"

"Okay, good! Now, the other three."

Sasuke groaned.

"Now that you've learned the four Ham-chats," Jiraiya/Boss beamed, "You can go do the errand for me!"

"What is it, then?" Sasuke grumbled. "Hurry up."

"Well… I need you to find Bijou." The hamster blushed and Sasuke twitched irritably. "I-I…need to tell her something…I can't go look for her 'cause I have to stay here at the clubhouse and…work…So please! Go get her for me!"

The boy(hamster?) sighed. He pitied whoever this Bijou was, having Jiraiya(screw Boss) stalk her. Still, if he wanted to get out of here, it was probably a good idea to play the altruist and do whatever asked. He was practically shoved out the door by the excited Jiraiya before he could even ask what she looked like.

Sasuke suddenly found himself in a sunny meadow. Surprised by the change in scenery, he stood there stupidly for a while before realizing he had to look for this Biji or Boju or something person (hamster). Hoping he wouldn't attract as much attention as he would as a human, he walked towards the river flowing by up ahead.

There was a battery placed to bridge the gap halfway across, then a branch to cover the rest of the way. Balancing himself, he clambered onto the battery and then the branch in turn, reaching the other side without harm. Looking to his right, he saw a female hamster wandering off to the right. He was about to call out and stop her when she screamed and scrambled out of the way of an oncoming boulder only to be trapped on the other side. Great. He walked towards it apprehensively. There was no way to get around it, but the stream flowed by next to it. Sasuke contemplated walking around it by the water, but he looked at his hands. He didn't have enough fingers to make a hand sign.

This was going to be a long, long process, he realized. Joy.