Gluttony
You give me the reason.
You give me control.
I gave you my Purity.
My Purity you stole.
- "Sin"- Nine Inch Nails
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She trailed behind me, with a longing look in her eyes.
Her and the rest of the world.
I'm tired of girls, but addicted to them.
Their soft touch, their innocent faces.
Even though they won't get any more than one night from me, they keep coming back.
Even after I push girl after girl out of bed and back to her room, the next one is waiting at my door the day after.
If I was a girl I would hate me, for getting my hopes up and crushing them, smashing their frail, brittle hearts into fragments of innocence lost.
What is it about them that keeps me entertained?
What do they have that I need so desperately?
Addicted, that high I get from their kisses.
Addicted, that feeling I get when running my hands up and down their soft curves that men could never emulate.
I am my own drug dealer, and I get girl after girl into messes, make them swoon with a look in their direction.
I hear their voices in the halls, crooning softly…"Sirius…Sirius…"
I hear stories of girls sobbing in the bathroom after I reject them.
Every single one of them thinks they can change me, that they can somehow make me fall in love with them.
They may be witches, but no magic is that powerful.
It's not like I don't regret being the way I am.
I truly want to change. But addiction is a powerful thing, and I am not ready for withdrawal.
I need something that can take the place of my addiction.
Someone I actually do love, someone who loves me in return.
.They all think I have everything, but in reality I have nothing.
I don't have someone to comfort me, someone to take my blows.
There is probably nobody who would stand up for me, nobody that would fight for me.
I can't say I blame them, I can't think of anyone I would fight for either.
Nobody I would die for.
The day will come when I regret this.
A/N yes, I know this is a short chapter. Someday I will probably revise this story, and perhaps I will extend it then...but for now, here you go...