hello everyoneee I totally forgot to put a disclaimer in the previous chapter so-
[ Disclaimer: I don't own TMI or its characters. All rights go to Cassandra Clare.] XD
I hope you don't think my chapters are too long or tedious. I tend to just zone out when I'm writing and they just become longer and longer the more I zone out. I hope my first chapter wasn't too confusing or anything.
Just a brief explanation: Jonathan succeeded in forcing Clary to drink the demon blood (CoLS) and she transformed (like Amatis, into a dark shadowhunter, but not really into Jonathan's slave). They are currently on a run(4 years have passed since the incident), and Jonathan didn't really do anything significant just yet. They are still lurking in the shadows. (I decided to leave out the part where Maryse receives the broken angel wings btw.)
Thank you for all your amazing comments, follows, and favorites. Keep reading. Enjoy.
ps. Alec doesn't meet Maureen in my story. Just forget all about that rogue vampire.
Simon Lewis was bored. He was in Jordan's apartment blankly staring into the black TV screen. Though he moved out a couple of years ago and went back home, Luke and Rebecca helping him make things alright for his mom, he still came here often because the familiar room gave him comfort and relief. But right now wasn't the moment he felt relief. He felt damn uncomfortable. He could hear Maia and Jordan inside the room making an awful lot of noise he didn't want to comprehend. He frowned at the fact that his vampire senses made his hearing abilities sharp and acute. He sighed and stood up and checked his phone. 5 past 8. He should go, he thought. He promised Isabelle and Alec to meet at Magnus's house. He only sighed there would be no more drama between Magnus and Alec, and he hoped that Magnus won't bring in another guy inside his apartment during their meeting just so he could make Alec jealous. His eyebrows knitted as he felt a pang in the heart, as he realized Clary and Jace won't be there. Even after four years, it was difficult to acknowledge both of them gone.
He closed the apartment door softly behind him as he started his long stride towards Magnus's house. He could remember is clearly. The time they lost Sebastian, Jace, and Clary with them. They informed the Clave immediately, and for one whole year the Clave commissioned hundreds of Shadowhunter groups in search for Clary and Jace, or any evil signs of Sebastian. But there was nothing - Literally nothing. It seemed like they've never existed. They waited a long time, hoping for any evil traces of Sebastian. They believed that Sebastian was just staying low for a while, and would show up soon with an even bigger army of dark Shadowhunters. But nothing happened. Hope turned to despair, and it soon led the Clave to believe that they were gone for good. Simon felt anger build up in his chest as he thought of how stupid the Clave was to think that. The Clave eventually retreated all forces and left only one group: Alec and Isabelle's to deal with the problem. Another idiotic strategy, believing that Alec and Isabelle's group alone could fix this catastrophe.
Simon frowned at how everyone was pained to hear the message from the Clave - That they were just going to give up. Just like that. Isabelle spent months locked up in her room, refusing to come out. When Simon eventually persuaded her to let himself inside, Isabelle spent the whole day sobbing, all the while Simon clutching her so she won't collapse. It was worse for Alec since he had to deal with his breakup and with Jace and Clary's disappearance. I guess Jocelyn handled it the worst, Simon thought. And he remembered how Jocelyn started to fall apart when the investigation was going around in circles. Luke offered to take her faraway, like Swiss, away from the Institute and just spend a year there just to forget everything. But Jocelyn refused. She will go nowhere without Clary, she stated. And her word was final. Simon took it pretty badly too, but despite all that he refused to believe Clary was really gone. Clary and Jace were both out there. And they needed us, he thought, his lips pursed in a straight line.
Simon knocked on the warlock's door and the door opened within seconds. "You're late." Alec said, his expressions troubled and annoyed. Simon inwardly sighed as he wondered Magnus had brought in another stranger inside his apartment to annoy Alec. But there was no one except Isabelle and Magnus himself. Isabelle was on the sofa, wrapping her legs with both her arms, staring out the window. As Simon came into the sitting room she smiled and made room for Simon and allowed him to put his arm around her. "So. We have all gathered I see." Magnus entered the room and Simon tried not to squint his eyes from the astonishingly bright sequined robe Magnus was wearing. It was blinding, and... He looks like a real wizard - Simon thought and flinched as Magnus turned his gazing eyes at him as if he read Simon's mind.
"Any news?" Isabelle asked hopefully. Alec was on the other end of the couch in silence, with his eyes closed. It had been 3 years since they've held private meetings in Magnus's apartment, and whenever Isabelle would ask for any news, Magnus would say no. Though Simon also hoped for a tiniest piece of news, a part of him whispered that there would be none.
"In fact, there is." A deadly silence consumed the area as Isabelle and Simon both gasped in unison. Alec froze and his eye opened wide at the news. "There was a sighting-" Magnus continued, "of Jace. In Paris."
To love is to destroy. Clary. It's all you're fault. If you hadn't.. Clary.. It's all you're fault.. Then Jace would have...
Clary awoke with a start. Her room was dark and her pulse was racing fast. She was panting, and she realized she was drenched in cold sweat. She ruffled her hair and hugged her legs with both her arms. She hated how the nightmares were intensifying every night. The debris from her humanity still tugged at her heart, paining her, tormenting her mind and soul. She realized that it was 3AM and decided she couldn't go back to sleep like this. She would get nightmares if she falls asleep, she thought, and groaned as she got out of bed. Although Jonathan healed her with her iratze, she still felt like she pulled a muscle or two from yesterday's sparring. I'll just spend time in the training room, or drawing, she thought.
She went into the bathroom and splashed herself with cold water and her headache slowly ebbed away into nothingness. Clary was staring into her reflection when she saw her. Her other self.
Clary's midnight black eyes widened in disbelief. Her other self was staring back at Clary, her forest green eyes glistening in tears. Clary's felt her mind exploding - was she having hallucinations now? She rubbed at the bathroom mirror trying to make the other reflection disappear. Splashed some more cold water on her face and blinked, only to find that the other reflection remained, staring at Clary. Clary remained still, and both stared back at each other in deadly silence. The other girl suddenly made a noise, a gurgly one, and coughed up black blood. All the while continuing to stare at Clary with her wide green eyes.
Clary screamed in shock and threw a punch towards the mirror, and the mirror cracked into a million small pieces. Its glass shards flying everywhere. Her knuckles were bruised and were bleeding, her arms and face cut from the shards, and she stepped on one of the glass shard, but she didn't care. She sighed in relief as she realized the girl disappeared. She felt a swoosh and realized Jace was by her side. "What happened?" His eyes were wide in alarm and he carried Clary out of the bathroom, its floor now covered in bloody shards. She felt numb and she tried to swallow her saliva but her throat was terribly dry. And most of all - she was scared.
Jace tried to place her on top of her bed but Clary wouldn't let go. She hugged Jace's waist strongly and Jace felt her shiver slightly. He lowered his eyes and began stroking her back mumbling soothing words. "Clary. You're hurt Let me draw the iratze on you. Let go." Jace murmured, but without success. Clary wouldn't let go. She was terrified. Terrified of the human feelings she always felt whenever she woke up from her nightmares, her raw feelings towards Jace, the emotions she had when she was the old Clary, exposed. She shook her head stubbornly, refusing to let go.
Jace frowned as he looked at her bloody knuckles and the glass shards deeply stuck on her legs and feet. More of all, he was pained. When Jonathan forced the demon blood into her, he hadn't realized that Clary would become void of the emotions of love she felt for Jace. After her transformation... She was different. She still cared about Jace, but she just didn't.. Love him anymore. It was hard for him to admit it, but it was true. She would still whisper words of love to him, and they would still make out, but she too, knew better. But there were times when she revealed her raw human emotions towards him, like now, and it pained him and confused him. Pained him because he knew she would go back to the indifferent Clary. Confused to how he should act towards her in times like this. He still loved her and would do anything to get the old Clary back. The old Clary whom he shared intimate kisses with, the one who would laugh at his jokes, the one who would let his hands mindless touch her locks of red hair. But it won't happen. Because the old Clary was against him and Jonathan. His train of thought was interrupted when he heard a sigh from Clary's doorway.
"Really, sister. This is the fifth time you broke your bathroom mirror. I've known you enjoyed admiring yourself, but surely not like this."
Jonathan was leaning against Clary's doorframe, twiddling his silver stele around his long white fingers. The moon light cast a silvery glow to his hair, accentuating his beautiful pale features. When Clary remained silent, but shivering in Jace's embrace, he sighed again and made three long strides towards her bed in mere two seconds. He frowned as he inspected her wounds and told Jace to move over so he could draw the iratze on her arm. Jace complied and shifted to make room for Jonathan. All the while Clary remained silent and shivering with her eyes shut tightly. Refusing to meet any of their stares. She fluttered her eyes open when she felt the pain slowly subsiding, gently ebbing away, but she refused to open her mouth.
"Care to explain?"
Jonathan demanded. His voice was soft and was the sound was a purr of a kitten. But she knew better. Jonathan was suppressing his fury, and there was a dangerous malevolent glint to his midnight eyes that were so alike with Clary's. She flinched and shook her head. She knew Jonathan was mad at her but she stubbornly refused to explain what the chaos was all about. Her heart still had that gentle but piercing pain, the one she always felt when she felt the raw human emotions crash into her in waves after her nightmare. She refused to let anyone - even Jace to find out.
"It's fine. You're alright now." Jace told her with a sincere look and grabbed her hand, sending his warmth creep up into her cold heart. It felt relieving. She weakly smiled back and nodded.
"Well, I'm not alright. It's 3:30 in the morning." Jonathan growled and managed to glare at her. She smiled and said "Sorry brother."
Despite her apologies Jonathan was still angry. She was such a fragile little thing. He couldn't believe that she was actually a one who drank Lilith's blood. She was supposed to be strong, like him. Instead she would refuse to heal herself whenever she lost in spar with him, and break mirrors in the middle of the night and get hurt. What was that about? It's been going on for nearly a month, and she still refused to explain. He ruffled his silver blond his frustration and collapsed on the bed next to her.
"I'm tired to even go back to my room. I'm staying." He announced and he went silent. Clary stared at her brother and narrowed her eyes. She knew it was a lie. He was suspicious that she would make a ruckus again. She shook her head in irritation and her eyes met Jace's. They both stared at each other in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable. But.. It was definitely something she didn't need at a moment like this. A moment when she felt her emotions were all out of order. Jace broke away first, but she saw the burning longing in his eyes for a fracture of a second. She sighed inwardly, "Staying?" He smiled tiredly and collapsed next to Jonathan and became silent. She stared at the two boys collapsed on her bed next to her. Her heart still paining as if a million needles were poking her raw chest.
She stared out the window then back at Jonathan and Jace. Jace seemed to have fallen deep into his sleep again. And his lips were curved into a gentle smile, the smile that warmed her heart even when she transformed. A smile crept up to her face as she stared at Jace. He looks like a peaceful lion, she remarked, chuckling inwardly. She soon collapsed on the bed herself, but she couldn't fall asleep. She shifted uncomfortably and suddenly realized Jonathan was very close to her. His breathing was steady and even, and she shifted herself into a position so she could lie facing her brother.
The moonlight was casting a silvery glow to her brother's hair and it looked like his hair was shimmering, emitting a low glow, and she began to admire her brother's features that were so alike hers. She raised her hand and gently, with a feather touch, traced her hands down from his hair, to the deep crescent of his eyes, his tall nose, and stopped shortly on his red lips.
We belong together- a dark voice whispered in her heart. She clutched at the bed sheets. He is her brother. Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern is her brother for Christ's sake. By the Angel, he was her brother. They had the same blood flowing in their veins and while her head was screaming get a grip Clary, her demon self was screaming back again. You love him. Maybe not yet. But you're falling for him, and you know it.
She silently whimpered at the thought and gripped the bed sheets with her spare hand. And her chest was heaving painfully as the two opposite blood was conflicting against each other, slowly consuming her with darkness. She then realized Jonathan was staring at her. She flinched and tried to hide the hand she used to trace the features of his face but Jonathan was faster. He grabbed her hand with amusement lingering in his eyes and brought her hand close to his lips, then he kissed it while staring at her.
Her eyes widened at the gesture and tried to pull her hand back but Jonathan was stronger. He wouldn't let her hand go. Instead of letting it go, he intertwined his fingers around hers and pulled her towards him. She let out a soft gasp as she found herself locked into his steel embrace. Her heart raced and she blinked furiously as she tried to register what was happening. Her muscles tensed as she felt Jonathan's cool breath on her neck.
"Relax Clary. Just try to sleep." He whispered in the dark. Brushing his lips against her cheek. She shivered.
Her mind raced and she wanted to scream how can I sleep when you're this close? Moreover, she was afraid Jace would see them. But after hearing Jace's soft snores she could let herself relax a bit. Jonathan began to hum You are My Sunshine softly all the while burying his hand under the crook of her neck. Jonathan let his free hand wander off and stroke Clary's hair continuing his little song. Clary felt her pulse slow down into a gentle steady rhythm and her eyelids drooping. Whether she actually heard Jonathan whisper Goodnight Clary or dream of it she doesn't know.
Clary opened her eyes slowly at the smell of bacon and scrambled eggs. Her eyes slowly adjusted to her familiar bedroom. Light was pouring in through her window and she just remained still for a minute with her eyes closed. She felt good - the first time in 4 weeks. She didn't wake up again in cold sweat or struggle from nightmares. Clary smiled slowly and let out a long sigh and turned her face to look beside her. Both boys were gone and there were indents where the two boys were lying yesterday night. From the sizzling noise from the downstairs kitchen and the water running she guessed that the two boys finished training already, and that Jace was cooking breakfast and Jonathan was in the showers.
The feeling of Jonathan's steel grip around her arms and waist emerged again, and she shook her head and tried to push the thought down. It was nothing, really. She decided it was just a brother and sisterly act. And honestly, it felt really really good. He hummed her to sleep, so she could fall asleep easily without any troubles about nightmares, she noted. A very brotherly act. And so what if he hugged her? Brothers and sisters do it all the time. And that kiss on her hand... Clary closed her eyes and tried to feel the cool touch of Jonathan's lips on her hand on again. She shivered at the thought. Her eyes fluttered open and she decided to ignore the kiss as a snide voice whispered in her head: oh yeah. That sure is brotherly. Brothers kiss their sister's hands like "all" the time. She screamed into her pillow in frustration just when she heard Jace yelling downstairs "Clary if you don't come down right now you won't get breakfast!"
Clary rolled her eyes. She could sense his irritation. He was always annoyed at her for waking up early. Jace was such a motherbird sometimes. I bet he cleaned my room today morning before going to training, Clary thought as she recognized her spotless room as well as her bathroom, its marble floor now devoid of bloody glass shards. She heaved herself out of bed and put on a sweater before going downstairs.
When she neared the kitchen, Jace was already on the table taking a bite of his toast and Jonathan was across him drinking coffee while watching Shadowhunters Daily. She has always wondered how Jonathan could receive the news parcel especially when they were still on run. When she asked, Jonathan gave her a mischievous smile and just winked, "I have my own ways, sister."
She sat beside Jace and started eating her scrambled eggs when she realized a scratch on Jonathan's cheek. Clary froze and her eyes widened in shock. Jonathan never got hurt like that. Even if he did get hurt he would immediately draw an iratze to heal himself. It was impossible for Jonathan to leave the wound unattended to. Jonathan seemed to have noticed Clary's stare and shrugged.
"I lost." He said as lightly as he could but she knew that he was pretending to be calm and indifferent. She looked at Jace sitting beside her, with a smug smile on his face. Clary looked at him in awe, then felt her emotions plummage. If Jace could win him, why couldn't "I"? She frowned. But she still pat Jace on the back and said "Good for you Jace." Then grinned as she saw Jonathan scowling. "Oh come on, Jonathan. You're not the almighty okay? Someone should beat you at least once." She said as she rolled her eyes. She meant it as a joke but she flinched as Jonathan's eyes hardened.
"Yes. But Jace shouldn't be the one to beat me. I'll keep this scar until I gain my victory again. This would be the first and last time I let you win Jace Wayland." He snarled and he left the kitchen, and Clary flinched again when she heard his bedroom door slam. She heard Jace sigh. "That stupid idiot. Such a child isn't he? Ladies and gentlemen, meet my brother, Jonathan Christopher Morgenstern." Clary yelled in a booming voice like a radiostar MC, loud enough so that Jonathan could hear her voice from upstairs. Jace chuckled and began toying with Clary's hair. "Stop provoking him Clary Morgenstern. And you're a horrible MC." I rolled my eyes but I knew he was right. Provoking him would only make things worse. But still, she couldn't believe that that was the brother that was holding her in a tight embrace yesterday night. And she couldn't stop rolling her eyes as she thought of how her brother was saying he won't heal himself until he wins Jace again. It was exactly what shefelt like yesterday when she refused to draw an iratze on herself. She sighed.
Jace left the kitchen first, saying he wanted to go to the piano room and just spend the day there. I felt a smile creep up to my face. Of course Jace would want to be there. It was the only place where Jace felt safe and at ease. "Hey, meet you there later?" I yelled after him, and smiled again when he waved his right hand. I finished my breakfast quickly realizing how late is was and she still didn't start on her training yet. She left the plate inside the sink and rushed out the kitchen when she saw her sketchbook lying open on top of the sitting room shelf. She realized that she completely forgot about when she fell asleep on the sofa yesterday, then realized Jonathan must've put her into bed.
As she took hold of her sketchbook she realized that her angle wings, hers, Jonathan's, and Jace's, were all smudge in black colorpencil. She frowned and realized it must've been Jonathan. She scowled in fury. How DARE he do something to my drawing! She liked her original drawing - the one where they all had white angel wings. But considering her brother's condition right now, she decided that it wasn't the best idea to go and confront him about the sketchbook. Instead she stomped up to her bedroom and put on stretchable black pants and a comfortable shirt. She felt her sudden rage slowly subside as she heard a tinkling of a melody, soft as a baby's lullaby, come out of the piano room. She smiled and walked downstairs to the training room.
Clary was panting and she soon collapsed on the cold wooden floor of the training room. She checked the time. 10 past 4. Close enough. She thought and groaned as she heaved herself up. Her body was screaming in protest as she slowly made her way to turn the lights off. Then she heard a sound from the weapons room. She raised her eyebrows as she began to think about what could possibly be in there. Did something drop? She wondered as she made her way towards the weapons room. She was irritated because all she wanted to do was to take a hot shower and possibly go to the piano room and join Jace.
She glanced inside. It was dark and eerie. She never really liked the weapons room. It emitted a dark and cold aura, and Clary seriously considered to hang up colorful drawings around the room to brighten the room. But she gave up on the idea because she didn't want to waste any of her drawings for a weapons room. There it was again- a rough sound, as if scraping rusty metal together. She frowned at the noise, annoyed because she could really see nothing. There was no one - or nothing - inside the room.
Then she heard it again. The scrack-scrack-scrack noise. And this time she strained her ears to listen to it. She then felt her hair stand up, as she realized in dread. The sound was coming from right above her.