Breakdown

[A/N] Reviews! Thank you! :) As you may have guessed, this is a bit of an outlet for my fluff-happy brain because FTR is pretty much running on angst and hurt/comfort for the time being. *headlaptop* but I really wanted to explore their first few days together in canon anyway, because I'm so taken with the thought of a 'baby relationship' (not that I'm a child person at all in real life though).

In other news, trying to cut down on my wall-of-text-esque AN's. XD Enjoy!

oOo

And he's blown away; he has no words left as he lets his head flop onto Hiroki's shoulder, no matter how inconvenient their heights make this, and nods feebly.

Nowaki's glad that he's not very surprised at the offer, because when he catches himself being thrown off-balance by a gesture of affection from his lover he can't help but feel a great amount of self-reproach for underestimating the man's role in their new relationship. It's not hard to do so though, is it? some part of him whispers sulkily, but this voice evaporates when he draws Hiroki into him again, holding him as close as physically possible.

'It's only because your bicycle must be wet from the rain', muttered Hiroki, his blush setting the taller boy's chest on fire. 'Don't get cocky.' He cleared his throat and wiggled out of the warm arms. 'And unless you plan on sleeping in the genkan, we should get a move on.'

This pulls up the vague question of where he's going to sleep in Nowaki's mind, but he supposes it's silly to shy away from sharing a bed. Especially when they're going out. Especially when their first—and so far only, the boy thinks ruefully—time had been on said bed. Especially when, because of this, Nowaki knows just how narrow the bed is, and how soft, and how good his Hiro-san's bare skin feels in his embrace because there is no way the two of them will fit side by side without some form of cuddling. Silly that the very thought should bring a sheepish grin to his face that he has to hide or risk getting hit.

Maybe it's not so silly.

I don't have a change of clothes. Should he sleep in the ones he has on? Rather than entertain this possibility, his mind presents to him a handy method of removing the need for clothes in the first place. This new perversion of his, a trait that he's still getting used to, makes him laugh softly as he follows Hiroki back inside.

'What is it?' asks the man irritably. Nowaki shakes his head at his lover's back, then grins wider. I'm slap happy right now, he realizes. 'Nothing.' But after a moment, he adds, 'I'm happy, that's all.'

Hiroki's blush is practically distorting the air around him. 'Whatever.'

It's the closest that Hiroki has ever come to reciprocation—not pushing the boy away, not even pretending to. Acceptance has been stealing over him as the days progressed; while Nowaki still gets a healthy dose of 'Idiot!' thrown his way from time to time, he is no longer yelled at for admitting his feelings. The thought makes him outrageously happy, and for a moment he is well and truly frightened by how much he loves this person.

To banish this baseless fear, he quickens his pace and gathers Hiroki up from behind, marveling yet again at the firmness of the broad back against his chest. He's really not used to it yet—this feeling of hanging on to another for dear life, this sensation of freefall. It goes against everything he's made himself into so far, and still seems to be the only thing he's done right.

Useless thoughts again, he thinks absently, fighting the urge to rock his lover back and forth in his arms as some sort of anchor; he's still standing like that when a rough shake brings him back. 'Let go, idiot! How am I supposed to get anything done with you clinging to me like this?'

Despite the harshness of the words, Nowaki is sure he hears an undercurrent of happiness: the voice is certainly trembling. He sighs and releases Hiroki who immediately walks away into the bedroom, posture almost comically stiff.

'I don't suppose my clothes will fit you', sounds a growl from the semi-darkness as the taller of the two makes his way after the smaller one. 'Um, my pajama pants should do fine, though. Try them on—in the bathroom or something.' He tosses a loose-looking pair of trousers at Nowaki, who catches them in mid-throw.

Like we haven't seen each other naked.

Nowaki has a sneaking suspicion that Hiroki will seize the chance to throw on his own nightclothes when he's not around to watch and reluctantly decides to give the man what privacy he wants. 'All right, Hiro-san. Thank you', he smiles, turning to go to the bathroom. It's just been a week.

A whole week.

It's not like we're married or something—

He blushes mildly at his own thoughts as enters the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. Where did that come from? He's still new enough to this love not to have spared that aspect much thought; despite the overwhelming depth of his feelings, he's been so caught up in past and present that the future is completely dark in his mind.

But…

I've been ready to spend my life with him from the moment I first saw him. The pale blue pants fit comfortably enough, perhaps a little scant around his ankles but comfortable and soft. And they smell like Hiroki. Just like Hiroki.

He's so cute. The shirt is taken off too as an afterthought, and he's wondering just what his mind is up to now.

Nowaki makes sure to dawdle around in the bathroom for a good thirty seconds extra, giving Hiroki plenty of time to finish changing before stepping out. When he does emerge, the lamp on the nightstand has been turned on and a slim figure in a deep blue t-shirt and boxers is absently straightening up the books lying all around the room. 'Do you need to brush your teeth?'

'Oh', says Nowaki sheepishly, realizing he does. 'Yeah. I don't suppose you have an extra toothbrush?'

'I do', mutters Hiroki, not meeting the boy's eyes. 'It's in the stand next to the sink in the bathroom. Still wrapped. I was…supposed to be replacing my old one—but it's fine. Just use it.'

Something in the voice, maybe its telltale dip into the octaves of embarrassment, makes Nowaki grin. 'Very well, Hiro-san. Thank you.'

The toothbrush is blue too.

oOo

Hiroki in the lamplight is adorable. Nowaki watches from the doorway of the bathroom as his lover slowly peels back the bedspread and mutters a couple of curses under his breath; like as not, it's probably to do with the fact that he has only one pillow.

So am I sleeping in his bed or not?

Right on cue, Hiroki mumbles, 'stop leering from there unless you want to sleep on the couch.'

There's no way for Nowaki to control his smile. None at all. He shuts the door obligingly behind him and strolls over to the foot of the bed while trying to look as casual as possible. 'So now that I'm here and not there, where will I be sleeping?'

'Don't ask stupid questions', says Hiroki sharply. He seems to finish whatever curious little petting-down action he was administering to the bed and scrambles inelegantly through the blankets, yanking them up to his chin and scowling. 'If you're going to get in, do it.'

'All right, Hiro-san', comes the obedient reply again, not without a faint laugh. I've turned into a pervert. Nowaki lifts the edge of the blanket and eases his tall frame into what's left of the space there. His resolve to maintain some room between their bodies for the older man's sake, despite their sharing a pillow (not to mention the tiny bed), vanishes instantly.

'Nowaki?'

'Hmm?'

'…you took your shirt off.' It might as well have been mumbled into a pillow for all its audibility.

To hell with this.

He reaches out and gently grasps Hiroki by the shoulders, turning him onto his side so they're face to face. Then he lets his arms complete their circle and rest on his lover's back as they lean into each other.

Nowaki presses a soft kiss to Hiroki's forehead, then one each on the eyelids that have fluttered shut. The simple acceptance and lack of fighting are proving too much for his heart; that strange weepiness is lurking in him again.

He's never wanted to cry with happiness before.

'Hiro-san', he whispers in a blush-pink ear. 'Thank you for letting me stay the night.'

'Mmm', murmurs Hiroki, his eyes still shut. 'It's only because your bicycle's wet, brat.' The word brat has never sounded so musical before.

Nowaki rumbles in delighted amusement before replying playfully, 'I could have just wiped it dry.'

'No you couldn't', comes the half-hearted growl. 'It's cold outside.' Pause. A long pause. 'And inside, too.' Uncannily, the faint plinks he can suddenly hear all around tell him that it has begun to rain again.

A few things fall into place at once and Nowaki closes his own eyes, basking in the faint friction of his lover's t-shirt against his bare chest. 'Hiro-san?'

'What?' it sounds relaxed but not quite sleepy.

'You seem to be very fond of the color blue', Nowaki says idly, keeping a tight hold on the smaller man lest he explode without warning. To his surprise, Hiroki simply gives a noncommittal grunt. 'Maybe.'

Blue eyes open and smile in speculation and hope that will not be articulated, at least not yet. A large hand traces its lazy way up to the back of the smooth, pale neck, fingers dancing in and out of the hairline, swirling through chestnut locks, twining themselves deep in. The head is pushed forward, very softly, until it's a mere breath away from the darker one.

Nowaki presses another light kiss to Hiroki's lips this time, pulling apart just before his tongue can dart into the man's compliant mouth. He waits for the sienna eyes to open and for the confusion in them to melt away. Then he asks, 'are you cold, Hiro-san?'

He can feel a rushing heartbeat and a trembling body. He sees wide eyes, mortified, startled, embarrassed, and full of wonder.

'Always', Hiroki whispers into the tiny space where their toothpaste-flavored breaths twirl together. All the roaring of the rain does nothing to drown him out.

It's probably just because this feeling is still so new to him; that's the only explanation. There's no other reason Nowaki's heart should be pounding so stupidly now, blood rushing all over his body, up to his face which heats as though ignited, and further down where his balls have begun to throb.

On hand travels down to where Hiroki's overlarge t-shirt falls to the swell of the man's ass, playing with the hem for a moment before slipping under to memorize the roughness of the boxers and how solid they feel against his lover's skin. He's almost forgotten which part of Hiroki's anatomy it's covering, mesmerized by the body-warmed fabric, until a breath catches in the chest pressed against him.

Hiroki laughs, quiet and breathy. 'Nowaki, what are you doing?'

'I don't know.' His fingers have reached the waistband now, pausing to ask for permission. Before he knows it he's tilted down for another chaste kiss, always keeping his tongue out of the way, vaguely realizing how teasing his behavior must seem, not really caring. Or maybe caring and liking it because it makes his lover unexpectedly acquiescent.

I must be poking him. He laughs too on realizing that he's not the only one who needs to worry about that now; the protrusion he can feel on his lower belly certainly isn't his own.

'What am I doing?' Seriously?

Seriously. Hiroki's eyes are half-shut but inquiring nonetheless, and Nowaki sees a deeper level of the question that he so airily tossed aside.

He lets his fingers abandon the waistband and continue upwards instead, tapping a rain-like unset pattern on the small of Hiroki's back. What am I doing now, warming him up? But he has no smart-mouthed reply this time; only the truth.

'Loving you, Hiro-san.'

I love this person.

New and yet as familiar as his skin. Hiroki lowers his head until it brushes Nowaki's jaw, his lips touching the boy's neck in the lightest of kisses before rising again. It's the first one that he's initiated.

Nowaki is acutely aware of this even as he finally allows his tongue into his lover's mouth.

oOo

[A/N] Let me tell you people, I died on a minutely basis while writing this because I was choking on all that fluff. Damn…I'm the fucking fluff queen, someone get me my feathery crown already. And DIS. Is my kingdom. (And the tax is reviews, so please pay up. XD) Coming up is something that you may assume to be a lemon (if you're on FF) or a real full-blown lemon (if you're on YFF).