Naruto awoke with a start. This was the second time in three hours that he would awaken to the sunrise hitting his face. Looking around, he could see he was somewhere in a forest, or at least near one, with the heavy foliage and tall trees.

"Ugh," the neo-boy grumbled, "where am I?"

Kurama grumbled in his gut, "You're in the past, idiot. Weren't you paying attention?"

Naruto scowled at his own stomach. He hit it for effect.

"That does absolutely nothing to me and you know it," the fox yipped. Turning over in his host's stomach, the fox then proceeded to stretch to make his point known.

"I know," Naruto replied, before standing up to get his bearings, "there aren't many ways for me to convey my annoyance to you though." It was around now that he noticed a tall enough tree. Crouching, the ex-Hokage managed to reach the top in one jump.

Landing comfortably on the branch at the very top, Naruto was able to see for very far around him. From what he could see, he seemed to be in his hometown, but with notable differences.

"It feels weird, looking at that mountain without my face on it."

"Never mind the entire city, complete with skyscrapers and cars, that's missing from the top."

Naruto scowled a bit, "Why are you speaking so deeply now? If I could imagine your voice in text, it would be in bold."

Kyuubi shrugged, "I just felt like distinguishing myself now that I'm back in time. This was how I talked to you originally. Nostalgia's sake."

"I see," Naruto replied, still looking out over his old hometown, "anyway, yeah, all that stuff is gone and missing too. It's just… I was proud of that face, you know? It was nice. Validated all my struggles up till that point."

"Yeah, I know. Well, if you could do it once, you could do it again, can't you? Or are you afraid?"

Naruto shook his head vigorously. "No, of course not."

"Or do you think that the gods were right? That you just got lucky all those times?"

Shaking his head again, Naruto smirked, "Heck no. Everything I've done, everything I've accomplished. It was all me. I know that for sure."

"So there's nothing to worry about. Besides, you have me this time. I could probably solo everyone here if you let me out"

"You probably cou- wait. Why are you asking? You haven't been sealed for years. You can leave at any time."

"Oh right," the fox replied, "one sec."

A puff of smoke appeared next to Naruto on the tree branch. When it cleared, a boy strikingly similar to Naruto, but with fox ears and a big, bushy orange tail appeared. Instead of Naruto's orange jumpsuit however, he was in an orange dress shirt and black dress pants.

Upon appearance, the Kyuubi looked at himself in disgust, "Why the fuck am I a kid."

Naruto looked at the fox. Upon seeing his short stature he shrugged, not really caring. He turned back to the village.

Kyuubi was not as uncaring, "Brat. Why. The FUCK. Am I a kid?"

"How the hell should I know, Kurama? Your age probably reverted when I did. You DO have to run your chakra through my body before its released."

"I could choose my human form before!" the fox screamed. He poked at his chubby cheeks. "I don't want to be doomed to look like YOU. The horror."

Naruto, who was about to return fire, decided to look at himself first. He was dressed in a tacky full orange and blue jumpsuit that had honestly seen better days. It was ripped and tattered all over, including places that quite honestly had no reason to have a hole. Lifting his shirt, the boy saw that his body, while not necessarily bony, was stringy and thin. Almost like he had not eaten much over the weeks. There were quite a lot of bruises on him, as well as the scars he was born with on his baby fat cheeks.

He, well, he didn't look bad, but unless you were into specifically him he wasn't going to turn any heads.

At least Kurama had those ears and better clothes.

Deciding not to retort on something that he honestly agreed on, Naruto just turned back to the village. It wasn't exactly his anymore, but, well. It was still home.

"Not gonna respond, brat?" Kyuubi asked.

Naruto shook his head, "Not really. I just want to enjoy this. Isn't it great?" Naruto asked, gesturing his hand out over the city, "this is the city before it was destroyed. Everyone here… they were still innocent. So many people have no idea what terrible things are about to happen to them. How much things are about to change. How many of them are about to die. Right now, they're all still alive. They're all still happy.

Kyuubi, now seeing Naruto wasn't up for a round, just stared out over the village at well. He supposed the man-turned-kid was right. There was something beautiful about the things that he said. The inherent innocence that accompanied their trip back in time. The peace that hung in the air like a nice little blanket after to his attack had a presence that only a madman wouldn't miss.

He, being a chakra monster of extreme malevolence, was one of those madmen.

"We should fuck with them. We should fuck with them hard."

Naruto took a deep breath. Holding it in for a second, the boy released a long and heavy sigh.

"Yeah, you're right."

And with that, the ex-Hokage jumped off the tree and landed to the ground. The fox smiled in Naruto's replica body, before jumping off after him.

Today was going to be a good day.

Several hours later

Iruka settled into his seat with a sigh. Today was going to be a long day. Looking over his class, each and every one of his students had a look of apprehension on their faces. Their nervous energy quite literally permeated the air. Iruka smiled a bit, slightly amused with their situation. They had every right to be anxious today.

Today was the day of the Genin Exams.

Every student in class could be seen anxiously studying notes and practicing hand signs to commit them to memory. Those who weren't were doing various things to calm their nerves, such as playing with yo-yos and fiddling with their fingers. Out of the whole class, only two students could be seen not playing along with the day's hype. One Shikamaru Nara, who was currently asleep; and one Naruto Uzumaki, who was staring straight at him with a megawatt smile.

To be completely honest, neither of those boys had much reason to be taking this exam so lightly, but who was he to judge? He just hoped Naruto had gotten the clone jutsu down. Otherwise this would be a third failure.

Over with Naruto, things were going very differently.

"Its so weird seeing everyone so young again," Naruto thought, his thoughts going through his and Kyuubi's mental link.

"I know. Some of these young'uns I could've sworn I'd eaten," Kyuubi responded, his body walking around town under a henge.

Naruto's smile faltered a bit, "I would appreciate you not trying to dampen my mood."

"And I would appreciate you not trying to dampen my food," Kyuubi retorted. Upon seeing a human that looked particularly delicious, Kurama smiled, some teeth showing through his poorly made henge. "Hey brat, do you think they would notice if I just ate one of them? Akamichis are actually really delicious."

Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose, "yes. Yes I do think they'd notice. Why the hell are you asking me this? Did I ever let you eat anyone back in our time?"

"Yes. Yes you did. I was actually supposed to eat some bandits today and honestly this whole 'sent back in time thing' really ground on my nerves. I was really looking forward to it."

Naruto sighed, "then take it up with your Sage Grandpa. I don't have time for this."

"Which brings up another good point. Why exactly are you playing along with this mockery of the gods? I would've thought that you would have already put a Rasengan through this city by now, just to spite their plans."

Naruto, who had just taken a paper for the written part of the exam, stopped and started to stare off into space.

"That's… actually not a bad idea. I might do that once a find a good enough excuse." The boy then took out a pencil; an extra he stole from Sasuke when he wasn't looking. "But for right now, there are certain things that I would rather do over and surprise everyone with. Doing the Genin Exams the right way would be the first one. If I recall correctly, I failed this one as well."

"Mmf, what was that, brat?"

"You're eating someone, aren't you?"

Kyuubi gulped, before wiping his mouth, "No one you'll miss"

"I see," Naruto responded, not caring too much either way. He looked down at his paper, preparing to ace it, when the very first question made his eyes bulge out.

"Okay, what the fuck?"

Kyuubi, now relaxing in the alley after his meal, perked up, "what?"

"These questions," the ex-Hokage responded, "they're too hard!"

"Or maybe you're too dumb"

"Damn it Kyuubi, now's not the time! I know these questions weren't on the test the first time around. Iruka-sensei and I did a mock retake of the test I took when I finally graduated the day after I became Hokage! I passed it with a B! This isn't the same test!"

Kyuubi stopped listening in favor of laughing. The Seventh Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village did average on a child's test.

"You can laugh all you want, furball. At least I don't cough up hair after washing myself."

"At least I wash myself, meat bag."

"I do wash myself, blood for brains, Hinata won't let me skip out."

"That you have to penalized on it by your wife proves your integrity as a person," responded Kyuubi, "how is your meat bag of a wife anyway? I rather liked her."

Naruto, who had by now realized that his test was different from everyone else's sighed, "I don't know. I didn't bother to check," he then raised his hand, "Iruka-sensei? I think my test is a little funny."

Iruka, who had been watching over the class to prevent cheating, looked over at Naruto. With a slight scowl, he made his way over to the blond.

"That's odd. There shouldn't even be another version of a test."

When Iruka reached the test, he picked up the paper expecting something wrong. After three seconds of looking at the paper, he turned it over several times, clearly confused.

"This isn't funny, Naruto."

"Excuse me?" Naruto asked.

"Excuse him?" parroted Kurama.

"I said this isn't funny. Your test is the same as everyone else's. Get to work," the chunin repeated, before setting the paper down.

"Looks like you are stupid," the Kyuubi restated. He had started to pick the villager out of his teeth.

"Bullshit and you know it. Come disperse this genjutsu so I can do this test."

Kurama blinked, "Since when could I fucking do that?"

Naruto blinked, "what do you mean? Since forever!"

"I can't fucking do that."

"Then how the hell have I been able to dispel genjutsu?" To answer this, the Kyuubi shrugged. Naruto felt it somehow, "then what?"

"Maybe you just have too much chakra."

"How the hell does that even compute?"

"Listen, I don't know, human. I don't know how your puny human techniques work, okay? I just know that I have a shit ton of chakra and genjutsus have NEVER worked on me."

"That's bullshit! What about when you attacked the village when I was born?"

Kyuubi chuckled, "Okay, let's be fair here. Do you REALLY think it'd take that much convincing to get me to burn this hovel to the ground?"

Naruto thought about it. He supposed that it wouldn't take much convincing to get HIM to burn it to the ground and he lived there.

"Second, I was affected by the Sharingan. You know? That thing that allows people to cut mountains and summon unquenchable, never ending fire as dark as the blackest night? The thing that allows people to hop dimensions? The thing that evolves into something that can SUMMON METEORS?"

"Okay, I get it," Naruto thought, trying to assuage the offended demon. He started channeling chakra through the paper. When it didn't dispel anything, he sighed, and decided to just try to work out the problems. Even if he failed this, if he passed the others he'd still do fine enough.

"Maybe your teacher is sabotaging you."

Naruto shook his head, "impossible. Iruka sensei is my friend."

"The gods did say they would actively fuck with you in order to keep things on track," Kyuubi reminded him. He had taken to walking around the street to pickpocket a few items.

"I doubt they would change Iruka-sensei though. That was a very core part of my life. Changing it would change so many things."

"Then maybe they changed the test. If its not a genjutsu and your teacher is the same, then maybe they changed the test so you would definitely fail it."

Naruto pondered that. Over the course of the conversation he had accepted that there was no way in hell for him to answer any of these questions. "You might be right."

"Of course I'm right. Do you know who I am?"

Naruto chuckled, "my favorite fuzzball?"

"You're damn fucking right, I am," Kyuubi stated with pride.

Naruto had now flipped his page to start drawing on the back, "so the gods are intent on making me fail. I probably can't change it now that we're so far in."

"You can shove a Giant Rasengan through the class."

Naruto shook his head, "no, I'd still fail and they'd flip it so I'd still do the Mizuki thing."

"Was that when that asshole teacher told you about me?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah. He called you a bastard a couple times. It was great."

The Kyuubi lit up, "That's just… that's just great. Can I eat him?"

"Isn't that the entire reason you're stealing stuff?" Naruto then picked up the paper to appreciate his drawing. "Would you have cared what I said either way?"

"Yes and no, meat bag. In that order," the Kyuubi then stopped where he was walking, "I never was able to find my way around these parts. Which way do I go to reach that ramen shop you love?"

Naruto, who had now started to color in his drawing, stopped and glared out the window, "if you burn down Ichiraku's I will end you."

Kurama, who feared very little and roared in the face of a monster whose eye dwarfed his entire body, stopped and chose his words very carefully, "I meant, where in the forest did you encounter Mizuki when he tricked you?"

"East of the village, past the 47th Training Ground."

"Thank you"

"You're welcome."

Even Later On

"Why the hell did I only learn Shadow Clone from this?" Naruto asked, looking through the Forbidden Scroll.

"You were stupid back then," Kyuubi responded, "you're stupid now."

Naruto had by now looked further down. Upon seeing a familiar technique he cocked his head, "so that's where Orochimaru got that Reanimation Technique from," he scowled, "how the hell did Orochimaru get his hands on this?"

The Kyuubi, who was now setting up a campfire, turned to look at his host, "he's confirmed a shifty freak. He probably pilfered it when no one was looking."

"People are always looking. They hire people to specifically look at it."

"They have to blink, human. He probably got it then. That's when you got it."

"Fair enough. What's this?" Naruto asked, looking over a specific technique.

Kyuubi looked at it over the blond's shoulder, "I think it makes you shoot lasers from your eyes."

Naruto lit up, "that's sweet! Why is it forbidden?"

"It says here that it then burns your eyes from their sockets."

"Eh, I'll grow em back. What else is on here?"

Kurama had already started to look down the page, "what about this one? It makes all females in a 100 mile radius lust after you."

Naruto looked at it carefully. After reading it he shook his head.

"Nah. I only want Hinata. Everyone else is kind of a drag. Besides, that would probably drag Granny Tsunade along and that's not what I need."

"Save it anyway. Your pervert teacher would enjoy it."

Naruto deadpanned, "which one? Kakashi, Yamato or..."

The blond dropped the scroll.

"Jiraiya. Kyuubi, Jiraiya… he's..."

"Alive here, yes. Fascinating, isn't it?"

Tears almost came unbidden to his eyes, "I'm not letting him die again. The gods be damned."

Kyuubi shrugged, heading back over to his impromptu camp site.

"It doesn't matter either way. He'll be gone when you're replaced back in your original timeline."

Naruto shrugged, "it doesn't matter either way. I just don't want to see him die again."

"Fair enough. Hey, the asshole teacher is on his way. The good one is slightly behind him."

Naruto frowned. "That's not right. Iruka was supposed to be here first."

"The gods are probably intervening again," he then smirked, "too bad things are about to change regardless."

Staring into the scroll, Naruto quickly memorized the laser eyes for future use before rolling it up and putting it into his backpack.

"Its showtime, Kurama."

"I think you mean, 'dinner time', meat bag."

Shortly after Kurama said that, Mizuki landed into the middle of the forest clearing. If he was surprised that there were two Narutos, one being decidedly more foxy than the other, and that said foxy Naruto was tending to a campsite and looking at him while licking his lips hungrily, he certainly didn't show it.

Though, to be honest, Naruto probably wouldn't have reacted to such a bizarre scene either.

"I see you got the scroll, demon brat."

Kurama piped up, "excuse me, human. I'm the demon around these parts. Don't you dare compare my magnificence to a dunce like he."

Mizuki ignored him. "Now just hand it over. I'll graduate you on the spot."

Naruto who was looking back and forth between his biju and his old teacher, answered slightly confused.

"Do you… do you not see that?"

"It doesn't concern me," Mizuki replied.

Naruto looked back at Kyuubi. He was placing salt in a cauldron.

"I really think it does."

Mizuki had started to get fed up. He didn't have much time. He had to get the scroll and head over to Orochimaru before he was caught by the Konoha officials who were almost definitely looking for him.

"I don't have time for this, brat. Just hand it over."

Naruto, who was now clutching the scroll, was just extremely perplexed, "is this the doing of the gods as well? Is he stuck on the same actions as before?"

"Maybe," responded Kurama, "your less annoying teacher is still as far away as before. I'm guessing they're waiting for something."

"Who are you talking to, brat? Is it the demon you have inside of you?" Incidentally, he was.

"What are you talking about?" Naruto asked Kurama. Mizuki thought he was talking to him and continued.

"You mean you don't know, demon brat? Then allow me to tell you. You, Uzumaki Naruto, are no normal child. Have you never noticed the stares? Why no one would talk to you or let you in on their little, pathetic reindeer games? Its because you, child, are actually so much more horrid that you look."

Naruto took personal offense to that last part. He filed it away for later.

Mizuki continued, "You, you disgusting little brat, are actually the terrible Kyuubi no Yoko that destroyed the Village those years ago. YOU are the being that caused us so much death and destruction! YOU'RE the one to blame for the sadness that has plagued us all!"

"Again, that was me. All me."

"And Obito," Naruto clarified.

"Details"

"So what do you have to say for that? Huh, demon brat? I bet you're feeling broken and betrayed!" Mizuki continued.

"Not really. I already knew all of that."

Mizuki blinked. "What?"

"I said I already knew that."

Mizuki blinked again, "Oh. Uh, okay. Then, I guess I'll just kill you now?"

"No you won't!" a voice came from the forest. Immediately Iruka jumped from the treeline and in front of the young orange ninja. He was promptly knocked out by said orange ninja.

"Oh, that's where he was. I guess he was just supposed to wait until Mizuki spilled the beans. It might also be why he's trying so hard to ignore me. Sucks for him," Kyuubi stated, adding field poppies to the soup.

"Aren't those poisonous?" Naruto asked while carrying Iruka over to a safer place.

"Yes" was Kyuubi's reply.

"Then why are you eating them?"

"Cause its a good thing I don't have organs or a respiratory system or anything inside me at all to be affected by the poison. I'm going to abuse that power."

The blond Hokage stared at his foxy counterpart, "you don't have organs?"

The fox stared back, "I'm a being made of pure, unbridled, malevolent chakra. You tell me about what organs you think I would have."

"Fair enough," replied the orange boy. He turned and stepped back in front of his traitorous teacher, "you're still here?"

Mizuki, who had now watched the whole exchange, was certifiably flabbergasted.

"I'm… I'm pretty sure you weren't supposed to do that."

Naruto glared at him, "you're confused at that and not at the demonic me who has been sizing you up since you stepped into this clearing?"

Mizuki shrugged, "I'm a simple man. I ignore that which I don't understand."

"Well prepare to be completely mindfucked, cause nothing inside my stomach makes sense. Believe me, I've been there," Kyuubi replied. In a flash of orange the fox boy reappeared behind the chunin. Before he could say anything the Kyuubi had grasped the man in two giant chakra claws. Unable to move, the man could do nothing but squirm in the superior being's grasp.

"W-what? Let me go!"

"Well, if that's what you want," Kyuubi replied. With a smirk, the chakra hands held the chunin higher in the air. After shifting his jaw a few times, the fox boy opened and expanded his jaw to an almost disgusting-

"No, that's pretty disgusting," Naruto interrupted, "wait, did I just interrupt the narrator?"

-to a disgusting amount. He then dropped the terrified man in his mouth, swallowing him whole.

"Delicious," the Kyuubi remarked, "couldn't have made it any other way. Traitors are just wonderful to eat."

Naruto, who was more than a little scarred, decided to comment, "that may have been the most terrifying thing I'd ever seen and I've seen Kakashi wear Gai's jumpsuit for his birthday.

The Kyuubi shrugged, "you'll get over it."

"No, I don't think I will." The Kyuubi shrugged. He decided he didn't care.

Naruto then looked at the boiling pot that was sitting over the campfire.

"Wait, if you were always going to eat him whole, why did you need the stew?" he asked.

"Oh, that. Right," Kurama remembered. He walked over to the pot, and, taking it in a giant chakra hand, started to ingest the contents.

Naruto could swear he could hear pained screams.

After a while, Kurama finished the pot. Setting it down, the chakra being licked his lips, appreciating his own food.

"Delicious."

Naruto was confused, "what was the point of that?"

"To kill the guy I just ate."

"Why?"

"Cause I've eaten people whole before. It didn't turn out well."

"Then why didn't you just chew him?"

"It takes away the pure awesome-ness of eating him whole."

Naruto sighed, before looking over at his other sensei. He made his way over to him and shook him slightly by the shoulder.

"You probably shouldn't be here when I wake him up."

"Eh," replied the Kyuubi, before making a handsign. The fox disappeared in a shunshin.

"I'll return to your gut when I'm done digesting this slowly dying maggot. Poppy poison is just great. I can hear him moan in agony."

"You get to that pal."

It was around now that Iruka had started to awaken.

"Huh, where am I? What's going on?"

Naruto smiled, "you saved me from Mizuki, sensei! Thank you!"

Iruka rubbed his head, "Are you sure? I could've sworn something knocked me out as soon as I got here. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I would've said that YOU-"

Naruto cut him off, "no no no. You saved me Iruka sensei! If it weren't for you we would've both died out here! Thank you for standing up for me and assuring me that I'm not the filthy beast inside of me."

"I'm outside of you now, ninja brat. If I knew where Hinata lived I would eat her whole family for that."

"As long as you leave Hinata herself I couldn't care less."

Iruka by now was just confused, "Well, that does sound like something I planned on doing. But… I don't remember any of it."

Naruto smiled, "I know. Just, give me my headband?"

"Oh right," Iruka remarked, "close your eyes."

Naruto, never being able to forget this moment, did as he was told. He could hear the shuffling of cloth and the slight clink of metal as Iruka removed his own headband to be placed on Naruto's head. Feeling pride rush all around him, Naruto couldn't repress the smile that was on his face.

"Okay, you can open your eyes now," Iruka said. Naruto could hear the mirth in his voice. Slowly, as to savor the moment, Naruto opened his eyes. Iruka no longer had his headband on, and instead held Naruto's goggles in his hands. Looking up at his forehead, Naruto could see the Leaf symbol shining in the morning sun that was now rising once again.

"Congratulations, Naruto. You are now officially a member of Konohagakure's Ninja Force. I'm so proud."

Naruto's smile now stretched across his face. No longer able to contain his joy, even though this was the second time this was happening, the boy tackled his mentor, the same man he saw as sort of a father. Iruka, who was now no longer able to fend off the joyous energy just radiating off the boy, hugged him back, a smile on his face as well.

"Thank you Iruka-sensei!"

"No problem Naruto."

"Congrats B student," Kyuubi remarked. Naruto mentally flipped him off. How? Fuck if I know.

After a short while, Iruka spoke up again, "Now, lets get some ramen before we go head back to Sandaime-sama, okay?" Naruto nodded. He didn't think there was a time he was ever happier than he was now.

"What about when you and your wife did that-"

He didn't think there was a time in this timeline where he was ever happier than he was now.

"Oh"

Halfway to the village, with Naruto more or less carrying the still dazed Iruka, the teacher decided to speak up again.

"Are you absolutely sure what you said had happened? Cause I could've sworn that-"

"Do you want me to knock you out again or not, Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka shut up and just kept walking to the ramen stand.