Disclaimer: Not mine, No copyright intended.
A/N: Thank you to those who have reviewed so far. I hope those that are reading but haven't commented are also enjoying it. Feedback is always welcome
Abby awoke in the middle of the night to find herself in bed and smelling of antiseptic – Connor must have cleaned her up and put her to bed whilst she was unconscious. She rolled over to look at him; he was sleeping with his back to her, curled into a tight ball. The more she thought about it, the more convinced she became that it had all been an accident; Connor would never deliberately hurt her. Still, his sudden mood swing scared her – one minute he'd been loving, sweet and gentle, the next he was angry and scared; spooked by something as harmless as a rabbit in the undergrowth of the forest.
He groaned in his sleep and his body began to twitch. She recognised it to mean he was having a bad dream yet again. Although he never talked about them, she suspected his nightmares were about things that had happened to him in the Cretaceous. She'd tried to get him to open up to her, but he always insisted that he was OK. As she'd done so many times before, she snuggled into him and wrapped her arm around him. She felt him relax and the groaning stopped. She was relieved; some nights he would thrash around wildly and break out into a sweat, and her head hurt too much to cope with that at the moment. She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to get back to sleep but her mind was too full of everything that had happened over the last couple of days. It was time, she decided, to try and persuade Connor to seek professional help.
-o-
Connor had already left the flat by the time she woke. He'd left a note on the kitchen worktop saying he wanted to go to the ARC early to catch up on a report he didn't get finished on Friday. She knew it was a lie; he hadn't mentioned anything about a report that she could recall. He was obviously avoiding her, probably a little embarrassed about yesterday. She had to talk to him; let him know that she didn't think it was his fault and then tackle the subject of going to see a doctor. That would have to wait though; she had other priorities at the moment –like how she was going to hide the massive bruise and cut on her forehead.
Looking in the bathroom mirror, she was thankful Connor had talked her into keeping her hair long. The fringe hid some of the injury, and make-up covered the worst of it. It was still pretty obvious that she'd had a bang to the head though, and she did half think about calling in sick. She decided against it; she had nothing to be ashamed of after all. If she kept a low profile for a couple of days, no-one would notice hopefully.
She hadn't bargained on the keen eyes of Captain Becker though. She had met him in the corridor on the way to her lab and he spotted it straight away. "Tough weekend eh, Abby?" he said.
"Something like that." she muttered, and tried to go around him.
"Looks pretty bad. What happened?" he said, looking concerned.
"I fell over when Connor and I were out walking yesterday, hit my head on a rock." she replied, not quite able to make eye contact. Becker stared at her, and she could tell he wasn't sure whether to believe her or not.
"Well, maybe you should just be on light duties today. I'll tell Matt. Can't be too careful with a head injury."
"If I didn't think I was up to the job, Becker, I wouldn't have come in. I'm fine, but thank you for your concern." She pushed past him and almost ran to get away from further questioning.
In the safety of her lab, Abby slumped into her chair and turned on her computer. She knew no-one would disturb her whilst she was in there; except Connor, so she could stay away from further prying. It was no-one else's business anyway. As she waited for her computer to start up, she gazed lazily out of the window. What she saw – or rather, didn't see – concerned her. She had deliberately moved her desk to this spot because she could see Connor's desk and the ADD, and liked to watch him work. He wasn't at his desk, and he wasn't at the ADD – so where was he? She stood up and strained to see more of the main office below, just in case he was over talking to Jess or one of the other techies. She could see Jess, but no Connor.
Abby dialled Jess's extension. "Hey, Jess. Have you seen Connor today?"
"Yeah, he was in early but he went out about an hour ago. He said something about the cemetery."
"Thanks." Abby put the phone down. The cemetery? Why would Connor go there? They hadn't been there since... Ah. It dawned on her where he would be. She had to go to him.
-o-
It didn't take long to find him, he was exactly where she thought he'd be. He was kneeling on the grass next to a headstone, and although he had his back to her she knew he was crying. She knelt beside him, placing her hand on his shoulder. He practically leapt out of his skin.
"Abby! You could have warned me you..." he took a deep breath and angrily wiped the tears from his face.
"Sorry. I had a feeling you'd be here." she said softly, stroking his arm. He dropped his head.
"I needed to talk to someone, and Cutter's the only one I could think of." he whispered.
"You could have talked to me."
"I didn't think you'd want to. I hurt you." His face was screwed up and he was blinking rapidly, trying to fight back more tears. Abby wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her chest, stroking his hair.
"It was an accident, Connor. If I thought for one moment you deliberately hit me, I'd have kicked your ass into next week." He let out a small laugh, and returned her hug. They sat, just holding each other, for several minutes. "Did Cutter give you any answers?" she finally said.
Connor pulled away and looked at Abby. "I'm scared. I don't know what came over me yesterday. Sometimes it feels like I'm someone else."
Abby squeezed his hand. "Maybe it's time you talked to someone; properly I mean. Someone who can help you."
"A doctor you mean? Abby, where am I going to find a doctor I can actually talk about all this stuff to? We're not allowed to mention any of it outside the ARC; and if I did, the doctor would have me carted off by the men in white coats!" Connor wiped a stray tear from his cheek.
Abby realised Connor had a point. "Maybe Lester could arrange..."
"No, Abby! If Lester thought I wasn't coping with the job any more, he'd get rid of me. He's just waiting for an excuse." He strolled over to a bench not far from the grave and sat down. Abby followed and sat next to him, holding his hand. "I thought that trying to remember the good things would erase the bad memories." he sighed.
"Is that what yesterday was about?"
Connor nodded. "It just made things worse though. If I could just stop the nightmares..." he leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. Abby felt completely useless. This was more than just a few nightmares, but if Connor wasn't willing to accept professional help there was little she could do. She just had to be there for him; comforting, supporting and loving him.
-o-
The days that followed passed relatively quietly. Connor barely slept more than three hours a night, making him even more irritable than usual. He lost his temper at the slightest thing, with Abby baring the brunt of most of it. She gave him back as good as she got though, and the doors of the flat were constantly being slammed. She tried to stay calm; Connor was clearly not well, but she wasn't sure how much more she could take.
She managed to stay out of his way at work on the whole, but she knew he was ruffling feathers. She overheard Jess telling Matt that Connor had yelled at her.
"I think it's time I had words with him." Matt said. "I've been sympathetic long enough. He can't carry on being abusive to everyone!"
"Please, Matt. Don't be too hard on him." Abby pleaded. "He's not sleeping, that's all. He keeps having nightmares and..."
"Abby, I understand what you're saying and I do feel sorry for him. What you two went through is unimaginable – but I have to look after all the staff." Matt left to go and look for Connor. Jess turned to Abby.
"I'm sorry, I wouldn't have said anything if I thought he'd get into trouble. I was just sounding off."
"It's OK, Jess. Maybe this is what he needs to make him realise he has to do something. He won't talk to me." Abby sighed. It was the one thing Connor was worried about; losing his job. If he thought it was under threat, maybe he'd give in and start opening up. Jess made her a coffee and the two women sat in silence for a few minutes. Suddenly, there was a commotion from the main room, and they both ran out onto the walkway.
Connor was stomping around, yelling abuse at Matt. He obviously hadn't liked being called on his behaviour. Abby ran down the stairs towards him. "Connor! Stop this!" she yelled.
"Stay out of this, Abby! It's got nothing to do with you." he yelled back. She tried to put her arms around him, but he pushed her away. For a second, she was back in the forest the day she had hit her head – the same look of anger was evident in Connor's face. She backed away, and left Matt to deal with him.
"Temple! My office, now!" Lester's voice boomed out across the ARC. Everyone froze and stared at Connor. They expected him to sheepishly make his way up the stairs towards Lester's office, but he didn't. Instead, he squared up and looked up at Lester defiantly.
"Fuck you!" Connor yelled.
Lester's face was like thunder. "Go home, Temple. As of this minute, you are suspended. When you have calmed down enough to apologise to me and your colleagues, you can rejoin the team. Until you do that, you are not welcome in the ARC."
Connor's face crumpled, and Abby could almost hear his heart breaking.
"Captain Becker, could you escort Mr Temple from the premises please? Miss Maitland, Anderson, can I have a word please?" Lester said, and disappeared back into his office without waiting for a response.
Abby watched Becker move towards Connor. "Come on mate." he said, placing his hand on the small of Connor's back.
"I'm not your mate," Connor snapped. "And I don't need a babysitter, thank you. I'm more than capable of finding my own way out." He strode out down the corridor towards the exit, followed closely by Becker. Abby desperately wanted to go after him, but Lester was waiting for her.
-o-
"Abby, sit down. We need to talk about Connor." Lester said as she came in. His face and voice had softened considerably. She sat down opposite Lester and glanced at Matt. "I've been concerned about Connor's behaviour for a little while now, as have Captain Becker and Matt. Becker also expressed a concern for your welfare."
"My welfare?" Abby said.
Lester indicated the bruise on her forehead. "Becker thought that perhaps Connor had ... he wondered if the aggression Connor is displaying at work was manifesting itself at home."
"I explained what happened. It was an accident. Connor would never hurt me. I just think he's ... struggling with a few bad memories."
Matt cleared his throat. "I'm no expert, but I have seen behaviour like this before. Soldiers returning from the Gulf war. They call it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder."
Abby had heard of that; it made sense. "You think that's what's wrong with Connor?"
Matt nodded. "Like I said, I'm not an expert."
"I think we can rule out a physical medical condition." Lester said. "The pair of you undergo extensive testing regularly, and if he was being affected by some kind of parasite or pathogen it would have shown up on his blood tests.
Abby nodded. She hated the fact they both still had to have a weekly blood test and medical exam, even three months after their return. "This Post Traumatic syndrome thing, it's treatable right? They can make him better can't they?"
"Oh yes, but that's where the issue is. The treatment involves counselling, and a lot of what Connor needs to get out is classified information." Matt said.
"I know. I've spoken to the Minister, and he is trying to find a psychologist that the government trusts. We'd have to explain a few things to him or her before they saw Connor of course." Lester said.
"What if Connor won't accept help?" Abby said.
"There are ways and means, Abby." Lester replied. Abby didn't know what he meant by that, but she didn't like the sound of it. She was about to ask him when the door was flung open. It was one of the computer technicians.
"Abby! You have to come, it's Connor! He won't listen to anyone else and he's got a knife!"
-o-
Connor was stood by the ADD; his knife in his left hand and what appeared to be a baseball bat in his right. "Conn, what's all this about? Put those down and come into my lab for a chat eh?" Abby said softly. She could see a red spot of light on Connor's forehead – someone was aiming a laser guided sight on him. "Becker, tell your men to back off!" she snapped. "Let me handle this." She saw Becker nod and the light disappeared, but his own fingers remained curled around the trigger of his rifle.
"Don't try to stop me, Abby!" Connor said. He was shaking, his face twisting from anger to fear. He swung the baseball bat, smashing the screen on the ADD.
"Connor!" Abby yelled. "What are you doing?" she was aware of several soldiers surrounding them and shot Becker a look.
"I can't do this any more! If we'd never come across the anomalies, we wouldn't have spent a year in hell!" He took another swing at the ADD, but missed. Abby moved forward and tried to grab the bat, but he pointed the knife at her. "I don't want to hurt you, Abby." He said, tears streaming down his face.
"It's OK, Connor." Abby said softly. "No-one wants to hurt you either. We just want to help. Put the weapons down and we can..."
"Nooooo!" Connor yelled. He began swinging wildly at everything close by; chairs went crashing, two computer screens were smashed and then he moved towards Abby. She heard the clicks of several guns and she knew she had to do something before the soldiers shot him. It went against all her instincts; Connor was the last person she wanted to hurt, but she had to. She took a deep breath and aimed a scissor kick straight at Connor, sending him crashing to the ground. She was on him straight away, straddling his chest and pinning his arms down with her knees. Connor struggled beneath her, yelling for her to let him go.
"I'm sorry Connor. I love you, but this can't go on." she sobbed. Becker was handcuffing Connor's wrists and she got off him.
"I hate you!" Connor yelled, as Becker and another soldier dragged him away towards one of the holding cells. Abby sobbed hard, as Jess came over and put her arms around her. Despite the fact she knew Connor was not himself; his words stung, and cut through her heart like a knife.