"So," said Jacob Black as he leaned his abnormally tall torso over the table so as to more secretively conduct his conversatio

Kudos to my co-author Shelby, whose writing actually shows up in this chapter (although I've been expressly forbidden to pinpoint which sections she actually wrote . . . ). Twilight characters (okay, character, singular) actually appear in this chapter! I noticed I start about three paragraphs with 'well,' and at least two with 'so,' but sorry, that's just the way I talk, so I guess my characters are forced to talk that way, too.

Disclaimer: the oh-so-creatively-named Boss Man is mine! I'm actually pretty proud of that. . .

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Boss Man: Wise in the Ways of Science

"So," said Jacob Black as he leaned his abnormally tall torso over the table so as to more secretively conduct his conversation, "you have someone available to help me with my . . . problem?"

"Why yes, of course. Who would we be if we didn't have people with certain special talents on our payroll?"

The small Asian man chuckled, sitting, relaxed in his seat. "I only wonder why you haven't taken care of this 'problem' yourself. Isn't that the whole point of you," here the man waved his hand in a circle, as if this encapsulated the full meaning of the vague 'you,' "existing?"

"It's complicated."

"Well, as I'm sure you've heard, our services are completely confidential, although I must admit that I am rather curious."

"Well," Jacob was becoming antsy – it wasn't every day that you ordered a hit man to whack the girl you love's boyfriend.

But that was exactly what he was doing. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and there was no way he was letting that excuse for a human put his hands on Bella (the girl our poor Jacob found himself besotted with) one more time.

"Well, like I said before, it's complicated. Kind of an inside thing."

Jacob leaned his muscular forearms on the table and looked the boss man in the eye (the other eye was obscured by a very menacing, very typically stereotypical eyepatch).

"Just how much is this going to cost me?"

"A job like this is going to be pretty pricey."

"Hit me."

"I would like to, but that wouldn't be professional."

The boss man had recently graduated top of his anger management class (he was ordered to attend by the court after he hit a customer for forgetting to say please. For a thug, the boss man valued politeness a lot).

"We'll discuss pricing later. It's our policy to only require payment after the deed has been done. We also have a money back guarantee if your intended victim should rise again."

"His kind does have a tendency to do that."

The boss man nodded sympathetically. "I know what you mean."

"Yeah, bastards." Jacob had some anger issues, but, unfortunately, there is no anger management class for werewolves. They tend to encourage the whole 'kill anything that isn't alive' bit. Excluding normal, unanimated corpses, of course.

"So," Jacob said, "just who is this guy you're sending me?"

"Well," the boss man answered, he isn't a man, so much as a giant insect."

"I hate leeches!"

"That is entirely irrelevant, as leeches aren't insects, but I accept your total ignorance of basic biological classification; not many people understand that leeches, while small and bug-like, are, in fact, members of the kingdom Animalia." The boss man had also graduated top in his class at the University of Tokyo, with a double major in biology and mythology. At the time, no one really understood his choice in major, but his degree had been surprisingly useful for his work with the Yakuza.

"Shut up." Jacob blushed. It wasn't his fault that he turned into a werewolf and missed the entire second half of sophomore biology. Honestly. Between learning not to kill classmates who cut in front of him in the lunch line and stalking Bella (for her own safety, of course), he had had almost no time to spare for school. But all of this is irrelevant. Back to the story.

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Or not. For lack of a better spot to divide what I have written so far, I'm going to cut this off here. The next chapter will finish Jake's altercation with the 'boss man' (so named because Shelby and I couldn't come up with a better name for him at the time).

Please Review? I've always thought it pretty needy of writers to ask for reviews, but it's still just so sad looking at that little zero on the stats page. More to come soon.