A/N: Oh my god, I'm updating.


This is for Kaitlyn (obviously), who wishes that Edge would take her to God's land, also known as Canada. Edge, listen to the woman. She's definitely more fun than Vickie's old ass.

Backstage, Kaitlyn was sitting in a room with Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder. Kaitlyn was standing up while the two men were lounging back on the couch. All three were doubled over with laughter. Once Kaitlyn caught her breath, she continued on with the conversation.

"Oh, Chuck, you are so ridiculous," Kaitlyn said in a deep man-like voice, imitating what she thought Michelle McCool sounded like.

"Don't worry, Michelle. Jamie will save you!" Curt teased as they continued their laughter.

Kaitlyn wiped a stray tear from her eye as she then put on a fake southern accent. "Hi, I'm Jamie, Jamie Noble! I'm here to save you Mee-chelle! I'll save you from Ch-uh-ck. I'll take you on a date and we'll get some southern biscuits and gravy, if you know what I'm saying." Kaitlyn stopped her impression of Jamie Noble when she could no longer breathe. "I can't do it anymore, guys! It's too damn funny!"

"Wait, you have to do Chuck!" Curt demanded, but Zack took it upon himself to make fun of the motorcycle riding Superstar.

In a deep, scratchy voice, Zack said, "Oh, don't listen to that rat, Michelle. Hop on the back of my motorcycle and we'll get out of here."

Kaitlyn was once again able to breathe, so she continued on with Michelle's voice. "Oh, Chuck, stop it. You silly goose," she said, waving her hand carelessly at Zack. The Edge following trio continued on with their shenanigans until they were interrupted by a very important person.

"Hey, guys, I have something important to talk to you three about," Edge said, walking into the room. He had his World Heavyweight Championship slung over his shoulder and was dressed to impress.

"What's up, boss?" Zack asked.

"I'm not going to be able to accompany Kaitlyn to her match against Michelle McCool tonight. She's bound to have Jamie Noble in her corner tonight. I don't like having the odds stacked against any one of our team members, so I want you two to go down to the ring with her," Edge explained, pointing to each one of the Edgeheads.

"Sure thing. But why aren't you going to be there?" Curt asked, scratching his long blonde hair.

"Vickie and I are going out for a night on the town," Edge said, straightening the collar of his black pinstriped dress shirt. He checked his watch and fixed his title belt on his shoulder. "Oh, I'm running late. Good luck, Kaitlyn, not that you need it. Boys, make sure to take good care of our girl." Edge smacked his gum while doing a little head bobble and left the room.

"Do you really even need us to come out there with you?" Curt asked, putting his arm around Kaitlyn's shoulder.

"No, not really. But what Edge says, we do. After all, he's the boss," Kaitlyn grinned with an evil glint in her eyes.

Much later on, Jamie and Michelle were already in the ring. Jamie was holding a microphone, and he started talking. "Kaitlyn, I'm calling you out. Get out here right now!" he demanded. Michelle kept trying to take the microphone away from him, but he had a death grip on it.

Kaitlyn's new entrance theme played, an Alter Bridge version of "Total Eclipse of the Heart," and she walked down the aisle with and Edgehead on either side of her. All three slid under the bottom rope and entered the ring. Kaitlyn stepped up and stood face to face with Jamie Noble.

"Look, Kaitlyn, I--" Jamie started, but was cut off when he tried something stupid. While he was talking, he went to slap Kaitlyn across the face. However, she caught his hand just before it hit her face. Jamie looked shocked when he was caught by her quick reflexes. His eyes grew wide and Kaitlyn wrenched his hand with all of her strength. She refused to let go until Jamie cried. That feat did not take too long, as about ten seconds later, tears began to well in Jamie's eyes. Satisfied with the message she was sending to everyone, including the audience and the rest of the roster, she dropped Jamie's hand.

Kaitlyn started laughing hysterically with Curt and Zack. Michelle, however, went to tend to Jamie's hand. With his healthy hand, Jamie held the microphone up to his mouth and made Kaitlyn an offer she most certainly couldn't refuse. "Kaitlyn, I've had enough of you. If Michelle wins tonight, I get my rematch against you next week, and I'm going to beat you. If you win, then you can face whoever you want next week. Do we have a deal?"

Michelle started arguing with Jamie. She didn't like men making decisions for her, but she was more concerned with the state of Jamie's hand.

"You've got yourself a deal, Mr. Noble," Kaitlyn agreed. All three men rolled out of the ring and the referee rang the bell to start the match.

Michelle took the offensive early on, shoving Kaitlyn into a corner. The referee was also keeping a keen eye on all three men on the outside. He damn well knew that every single one of them had a reputation for interfering in the matches of their affiliates, especially Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder.

Somehow, Kaitlyn wasn't able to overcome Michelle in this match. Maybe she was having an off day. However, the Edgeheads had to make damn sure that Kaitlyn came out victorious. Since they knew that they would be ejected if they interfered in the match, they could freely mess with a huge distraction for Michelle McCool: Jamie Noble.

The two blondes ran around the ring on opposite sides until they were on either side of Jamie. They then did what any two respectable decoys would do, and that was to join hands and have a rousing game of Ring Around the Rosie with Jamie Noble in the middle of the circle.

Their mission had been a success. Michelle looked on with an extremely confused expression on her face. She wanted to run out and save Jamie from this strange prison, but she was unable to do so. Kaitlyn, in true Edge fashion, took the opportunity that she saw to roll up Michelle rather forcefully. Michelle was unable to kick out before the referee counted to three. Kaitlyn quickly rolled back out of the ring before Michelle could attempt to retaliate. The Edgeheads met her at the front of the ring, and Zack handed her a microphone.

"You know what, Jamie? I like to beat people up, so I think we're both going to win in this situation. I want to fight you next week. You get your rematch and I get to beat you again! Doesn't that sound lovely?"

Jamie hopped in the ring with Michelle, clearly in distress. Half of him wanted to fight her again, but the other half thought she was going to pick Kelly Kelly or something. He didn't want to admit it, but…

He knew that Michelle was going to lose the match. In all honesty, he was surprised that she was going so well against SmackDown's newest Diva.

And just a quickly as the news about his next match was brought upon him, he hit the canvas. The crowd didn't like that. Edge had appeared out of the crowd and speared Jamie when he least expected it. Michelle was smarter than Jamie, so she got out of the ring and hid over by Coach and Michael Cole.

Vickie wheeled out next to her three team members, being pushed by Teddy Long. She smiled as she surveyed the chaos that was ensuing.

Edge ran his hands through his hair and licked his lips in excitement. He bent down low next to Jamie as a stagehand slid him a microphone. "Hey, Jamie, I bet you weren't expecting me, huh? Well, my night with Vickie ended early. She was concerned that you would try and hurt Kaitlyn. We can't have that, now can we?"

"Edge, honey, you are so right," Vickie agreed, taking Kaitlyn's microphone and speaking into it. "Jamie, I gave you so many chances, and you kept messing them up. I am so disappointed in you. As punishment, you will not be facing Kaitlyn next week. You will team up with Michelle McCool in an inter-gender match against Edge and Kaitlyn. You better pick up those scraps, Michelle," Vickie said, pointing to Jamie's unconscious body.

Edge gathered himself and left the ring as Michelle got into it to check on Jamie. The five members of Team Guerrero, and Teddy Long, walked, and rolled, back up the ramp, laughing all the way.

Clearly, with Kaitlyn, dominance would be theirs.

Right?

A/N: Okay, so this was longer than I intended. But I don't think Kaitlyn will mind. Now if she will only stop looking up Edge and Hogan on photobucket…

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