"But I don't like illusions,
I can't see them clearly.
I don't care, no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you.
You've shown me
Eventually what you'll do...

I don't mind, I don't care
As long as you're here."

The next morning he awoke to a decidedly cold and empty place beside him on the bed. He rolled over, looking at the clock and yawning, sitting up and listening for any indication that she was still around. A shuffled exploration of the apartment revealed that she had already taken off and he worried for a moment that he had dreamt the whole thing up.

Walking into the bathroom provided confirmation that it had been real. He laughed at his reflection, nodding and smiling as he turned his face to the side. There on his cheek was the perfect lipstick imprint of the kiss she must have placed before taking off. It was the same shade as the lipstick that had written two letters on his mirror: 'TY'.

"You're welcome." He said with a grin, inspecting the kiss on his cheek again and wondering how long he could postpone washing it off. Grudgingly, he had taken a shower and though his cheek had been the very last thing scrubbed, the evidence of her kiss was eventually washed down the drain. The memory of it wasn't going anywhere.

No hangover could hope to diminish his borderline chipper mood as he made his way to the office. For a man who had given up an opportunity to spend the night in various states of sweaty bliss with the girl of his dreams, he was surprisingly content. He hadn't screwed it up, hadn't let his desire for her effect his better judgment – no matter what came, he had that to cling to.

And it was a good thing he did because 'no matter what' came in the form of the usual snide remarks from Cordelia when he pushed the door to the reception area.

"Good Morning, princess." Doyle said with a grin.

"Ugh, you're late." Cordelia growled in annoyance. "Surprise, surprise." She breathed as she rolled her eyes. She continued writing without so much as even looking up at him.

Doyle faltered; he would admit that, if ever so slightly upon seeing her response. He was not entirely sure what he had been expecting. He was certain, however, that it was not her going on as if the night before had never happened. All right, maybe he could have handled a stern (snotty) talking-to about how it would 'never happen again' and what she would do if he ever breathed a word about it to another, but she was discounting history as if she'd had the Oracles rewrite it, for crying out loud!

"Oversleep?" Angel asked as he walked out to the coffeepot and poured himself a mug.

"What?" Doyle asked distractedly as he studied Cordelia but finally snapped out of it, turning back to Angel. "Oh. Yeah." He said, nodding and clearing his throat. "Was sore when I got home…didn't manage to fall asleep for a while." He offered unconvincingly as his eyes wandered back to her. "Guess once I did I must've crashed pretty hard."

Angel nodded, crossing his arms over his chest and watching Doyle take his usual seat on the couch to read the paper. He smirked into his coffee mug as his eyes passed back and forth between them, enjoying the level of denial he was witnessing. He wondered vaguely whether either of them realized how strong the scent of Doyle had been on her when she arrived that morning. He could not help but amuse himself by watching them dodge questions, had been eagerly awaiting Doyle's arrival just so he could interrogate them jointly.

"So, Cordy – how'd the date go last night?" He asked casually.

"Like hell. Trust me, that name has been crossed out of my phonebook with a sharpie." She said bitterly.

"Really? What happened?" Angel pressed. He was dying to know how a bad date had resulted in her spending the night with the half-demon who was currently shielding his face from view with the Sports section.

"Nothing I want to talk about." She breathed flippantly.

"Aw, come on – you said it yourself, I can't date. I need to hear from someone suffering through it exactly what I'm not missing." He said with a smile.

She waved her hand dismissively and continued looking extra busy. "He was just a jerk, that's all."

"Well he couldn't have been that much of a jerk. I mean, your car was parked here until at least sunrise." Angel said, smirking as Cordelia shifted in her seat and Doyle flipped to the next page loudly.

"I…caught a cab home." She lied. Actually she had waited for the sun to come up, walked all the way to the office to get her car, raced home to get changed, and somehow managed to get to work on time.

"Oh – but I thought you were broke." Angel commented.

"He paid." She answered quickly.

"Why didn't he just drive you to your place?" He asked.

Cordelia scowled up at him and managed through clenched teeth, "Because I don't make it a habit of letting freaks, well – other than the two of you – know where I live."

Angel grinned at that. Nicely played, she had even managed to sneak in a preemptive insult to Doyle. "Well, you should probably take off your jewelry and put it in your desk." He said nonchalantly and watched her eyes go wide, her hand going to the diamond necklace and earrings she had forgotten to take off from the night before. "I'm not having you tell me I owe you if you lose them in the sewer or something today."

Ah, the sight of guilt-ridden squirming in the morning. He waited for her to tuck the jewelry into her desk drawer before moving on to the other victim. "So, Doyle – did you catch the game last night?"

Doyle sighed, folding the paper and arching a brow at Angel. He knew exactly what the bastard was up to and wondered what Cordy had done to clue him in. "Nope, can't say that I did." He told him as he tossed the paper onto the table.

"Really? Well you said you didn't fall asleep for a while – I just figured you wouldn't have missed it." Angel said, smiling knowingly and tilting his head to the side.

"Bad reception, what can ya do?" Doyle said dryly, shaking his head at the game he was currently an unwilling participant in. "Ended up watching infomercials, bud."

"Wow, that's tough." Angel commented as he stood up straight. He took a sip from his coffee, leaving them to sit in tense silence before he took what had the potential to be the winning shot. "Oh, by the way – you've got something on your face."

Cordelia's head instantly came up and Doyle's hand darted to his cheek.

It's good! And the crowd goes wild! Shot in the dark but hey, it worked. She usually did not put on her lipstick until she got to the office but, low and behold, she had arrived with a fresh coat that morning.

Doyle turned and looked at Cordelia who quickly leaned forward for an inspection. "I don't see anything." She commented with a great deal of relief in her voice.

"Really? Thought I saw something, he must've wiped it off." Angel said with a shrug before walking back into his office to celebrate his victory discretely.

Cordelia avoided Doyle's gaze and went back to looking busy and for some strange reason…he let her.

Something told him to leave it alone. So she wanted to pretend it never happened? That was fine with him – he knew it had. True, this 'no matter what' scenario was proving to suck supremely but he would have to go with it. No good would come of mentioning something she apparently did not want to acknowledge.

Life went on as usual, with all the attempted flirting on his part and brutal rejection on hers. Days turned to weeks and he had to give Angel credit, it took nearly two before his curiosity got the better of him. Whether he had been hoping to lull him into a false sense of security or just waiting for the most opportune moment, Doyle was not sure.

At last a night came where Cordelia had left early, presumably for a date though she had not given a reason. He and Angel were alone in the eerily quiet office researching spells to kill the latest un-killable baddy in their lives and, call it a hunch, he'd just known it was coming.

"She's off to another disaster, huh?" Angel asked casually.

Doyle arched a brow, smirking down at the book he was reading. "Another?" He asked in a similar tone.

"Well I'm assuming the last one was considering she didn't want to tell the truth about it." Angel said with a shrug.

"Oh? Didn't notice she'd lied." Doyle said.

A moment of silence passed before Angel sighed and snapped his book shut. Doyle smiled knowingly.

"You're really not going to talk to me about this?" Angel demanded indignantly.

Doyle laughed when he looked up and found an expression of supreme frustration on the vampire's face. "And you're really worryin this much about it?" He countered, tossing his book on the desk and crossing his arms over his chest.

"No." Angel said, reaching for another book and lasting all of two seconds before changing his response and abandoning the text. "Yes!" He insisted impatiently. Doyle was his friend, damn it – why was he in the dark about this? "You come to me for months telling me how crazy you are about her. Then one morning she shows up wearing your scent like the latest designer fragrance but you don't say anything to me about it. Neither of you have slipped up so I could bring it out into the open, either. Not even once – and trust me, I've been listening. Like if she'd mentioned leaving something at your apartment, or if you'd said something like 'when you were over' but nothing. What the hell is going on around here?" Angel asked huffily and glared at Doyle when he burst out laughing. "This is not funny."

"Oh, bud – I gotta disagree with ya there." Doyle said, cracking up for another minute before nodding and trying to appear as serious as his perturbed friend. "Look, I didn't mention it cuz nothing happened. She had a bad night, showed up at my place…"

"Spent a few hours attached to you…" Angel added in annoyance. "That classifies as 'something' happening." He said as he pointed at him.

"Yeah, but not 'attached' in the best sense of the word, my friend…and not for a lack of trying on…" He stopped abruptly, somehow feeling like he should not be talking about it. He chewed the inside of his cheek and stared at Angel worriedly.

"What? 'Not for a lack of trying on' your part? What were you about to say?" Angel asked, narrowing his eyes on his friend suspiciously as he tried to figure out what would have caused the sudden derailment. His eyes widened a second later as realization hit him. "Wait…on her part?" He asked in astonishment, sitting forward in intrigue and resting his arms on his desk. "Doyle…" He said sternly, arching a brow and scowling. "Out with it."

Secrets were one thing, he could understand the need for secrets – he was a big fan of privacy. However, this was Doyle, the guy who told him everything, and it was about Cordelia. Since he had very decidedly been silently rooting for these two to get together since they met, he felt he deserved to be kept in the know.

Doyle sighed and shifted in his chair, rubbing his face and a dozen other little fidgety things he could come up with before having to speak. "Yeah, on her part." He finally said quietly.

Angel tilted his head to the side. "So then…you…said…no?"

"Yup." Doyle answered awkwardly, nodding his head and clearing his throat.

"And…you said no…why?" Angel asked in bewilderment.

"For starters I still haven't told her about me being half-demon…" Doyle offered as he averted his eyes.

"And…?" Angel pressed, beyond curious to hear the rest of this.

"Fine, you want to know the real reason?" He breathed, leaning forward and covering his face for a second, his body once again telling him it hadn't approved of his decision in the least. "Because that wouldn't be enough." He moaned into his hands. When he finally stopped kicking himself for it and looked up, he arched a brow at the smile on Angel's face. "What?" He asked defensively. "Does this mean I get a gold star in the 'eternal abstinence' column of my employee review, then? Bound to be cause for a raise around here."

Angel (as rare a sound as it was) laughed openly at that. "No, no gold star – but you do get an impressed nod of approval for your restraint." He told him and proceeded to give said nod.

Doyle groaned and slouched in his chair as Angel watched him sympathetically. "Ya know it's one of those things where it seems like a real good decision at the time…but then she went and knocked me right back to square one for it. Makes a man second guess being decent and such when it gets him punished." He griped. "And afterward I figured, hey – maybe it's not so bad that I didn't make with the one night of bliss, maybe this'll get her to stop and think a little. Apparently not, she's out with another yutz right now and here I am back where I started. Sad thing is? It wasn't even a bluff." He confessed. "Second guessing aside I'm still, God help me, actually glad I didn't do it." He said bitterly before adding, "Well, most of me is, anyway."

"You did the right thing." Angel said with a shrug. "And honestly, in my experience the right thing is almost always a lot more painful than the wrong thing."

"Oh, yeah – thanks a bunch. I feel a whole lot better now." Doyle said sarcastically.

"I didn't say it would make you feel better – I said it was honest." Angel reminded, holding his hands up. "But fine, let's say you had gone through with it, then what? The next day she would have been three times bitchier to you than usual, kept you as far away as possible and you definitely would have regretted not telling her about your demon half beforehand. The two of you would have been together that one time, sure – but you would have destroyed any chance you had with her beyond that."

"That's what I told her!" Doyle whined. "Aw hell, who am I kidding? I should just accept it; I'm doomed to a life of Cordelia-lessness. See? Maybe this is why I didn't mention it to you; sounds even more hopeless aloud than it does in me head."

Angel smirked. "No, you didn't mention it because she didn't mention it – and you were just trying to do what she wanted by keeping it under wraps. The problem with that is you know damned well that I already knew."

"Yeah, yeah – wasn't sure how though. Damned vamp nose of yours." Doyle said, waving his hand at him and sighing. "So what do I do now, bud? You're the expert."

Angel considered it for a moment. "Spend a lot of time sitting alone in the dark in deep thought?" He offered and smiled at the cry of indignation the suggestion earned.

"To hell with tha." Doyle moaned. "I ever catch myself brooding professionally, I'll find a spell to forget about it just as much as she has."

"She didn't forget." Angel assured him.

"Well she sure as hell ain't remembering." Doyle countered. He scowled in silence for several moments before slapping his hands down on the arms of the chair and hauling himself upright. "Alright, enough about this before I find a nice, cozy bottle to crawl into…well, earlier than I'm already intending to. I've decided I'm gonna take the route of repression." He said with a smile as he held a hand out for another book. "Bring on the dead languages and other such means of distraction."

Angel smirked and handed him a heavy volume. "Whatever works for you, I still say brooding helps."

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