WITCHCRAFT part II
Loki started to wither immediately after their pitiful return.
They all had a good verbal hiding from Odin All-Father. They were equally punished, although not too harshly. Their collective humiliation was enough. Yet, Thor still felt he was grounded like a child. Even if he admitted being responsible for a lot of things. Things he would never forgive himself. Ever.
Some thought Odin had been less strict because of the terrible state Prince Loki was when he came back. He had locked himself in his apartments and refused to see healers for days. Queen Frigga had to beg him for hours through the door to let her in and see her personal shaman. Once Loki had ultimately given up, the shaman ordered bed rest and isolation for another week. Yet, he remained evasive about the causes of the Prince's misery.
When Loki finally left his rooms, he looked his ordinary self. Life went back to normal.
But not for long.
It was subtle at first, but, by and by, it was obvious that Loki and Thor were avoiding each other. Thor went on his own with his merry gang (although not so merry now, as what had occurred was still weighing on their mind). And, unusually, Loki stayed behind.
Frigga noticed that her younger son was getting paler as days went by. And thinner. Something gray and heavy seemed to loom over him.
He was spending most of his time in his bedroom and the library. Then he was less and less present in the court's daily life. He rarely came to family gatherings and dinners and made sure he wasn't sitting close to Thor. He also barely ate.
He never engaged conversation with anyone, less with his own mother. He didn't even look at anyone in the eyes, not even Frigga, the person he was closest to.
"What is wrong with you, child ?
Nothing, mother …
Even his voice seemed muffled and faint.
You seem out of sorts. Are you sure you are alright ?
Yes, mother..."
Getting more than two words out of him was an exploit. Frigga also remarked that her sons seemed to be unable to bear each others presence. They grew quiet and still when they were together in the same room. There was no sign of any form of communication between them. Not even anger or resentment.
" Thor, have you annoyed Loki again ?
No, mother, nothing of the sort.
She found it hard to believe, especially when she heard that tiny, grieving note in her eldest' voice. She could guess it was not the usual childish feud. It was something worse.
Then, why is he so sad ? So low-spirited ?
I don't know, mother. Our last mission was a disaster... I guess he took it worse than the rest of us. It is only natural...
Frigga could smell a rat concerning Thor from miles away. He was lying to her, or hiding something, which was the same in her book. She knew it.
But, for once, she felt that it was not something she had any power on. Something in her mind told her not to interfere and let them both deal with it.
She hoped it wouldn't take too long to settle down. For both their sakes.
Loki just wished he could die, or disappear into the ground and never come to light again.
Everything was pain. There was no release from it.
At night, he could feel his body burning, the feel of a warm weight on his limbs and a low, rumbling voice promising him pleasure .
When he happened to get some sleep, he had weird nightmares about being a small mare running from a powerful stallion with blond horsehair and Thor's blue eyes. Ultimately, the stallion managed to catch the mare and then Loki woke up screaming every time.
In daytime, it was bearable but not much.
Because Thor was everywhere, even when he was actually not there…
Loki could feel his scent, could hear his voice, could perceive him from many closed doors away.
Loki could feel his breath on his face, his mouth on his neck and shoulder and, deep down in him, in the lasting memory of the terrible burn he gave him when…
He was in Loki's body, in Loki's mind...
No release, no way to hide.
He wanted to pretend nothing happened. Or if it had, that it was a mistake. A dreadful experiment went wrong.
Except that in his dreams, the sandy stallion was still running after the unwilling, scared, dark-maned mare.
When Loki tried to rationalize it, no matter which way he was trying to twist the events, he knew that Thor had no choice. They shouldn't have gone like that, without any proper preparation. Maybe Loki should have protested, should have spoken out loud that it was madness. They shouldn't have done this or that… But as Frigga used to say, there were whole worlds to make with "ifs" and it wouldn't change one iota the fact that some unknown evil pig had set them a trap and made Thor rape Loki.
Rape.
Loki couldn't even THINK the word.
But all of this was nothing. Nothing compared to the real problem.
There were two actual facts that were the roots of Loki's decay and self-disgust.
The first one was horribly ironical.
Loki had liked it.
He had liked Thor on him, IN him...
It was terrifying.
Loki knew that Thor, for all his self-confidence, boasting and arrogance, was not that much of a skirt-chaser. His conquests could be counted on one hand (while with Fandral, to count them all like that you needed almost ten people). All of them had been amazed how skillful and considerate he was in bed manners. Thor had a reputation of being an excellent lover. His only flaw being that none of his affairs lasted long. He seemed to lose interest rather quickly.
And, under the pressure and death threats, he had proven himself sufficiently under control to help Loki through it. Loki had been caressed, kissed and sufficiently prepared to stand that awful feeling of being possessed, of being soiled in front of an enemy. Thor had given him pleasure, even if it was forced... And it was painful to think that Thor could discard this moment as he had with his other encounters. Loki couldn't bear the thought of being just a name on a list, although a short one.
In fact, at that moment, Loki was more or less a virgin. Which made things even more painful.
Any time he thought someone was smitten by him, he discovered, in the most humiliating ways, that it was in fact to get close to Thor. After being abused by two or three individuals taking Loki for a common stepladder to his older brother, he simply gave up and renounced any kind of relationship. All of them had Thor for cause and excuse.
Thor, Thor, Thor. Again and again.
And now, Thor had had his virginity. Thor was the only lover he ever really had.
And now, Loki wanted Thor. Badly.
It was devastating.
The second thing was even worse.
Now that Thor had had him and sort of seduced him (very, very sort of...), now that Loki had to admit he desired his own brother, he had to endure his scorn, his indifference...
Thor was so ashamed he didn't want anything from Loki, he didn't even acknowledge Loki. He acted as if his brother was not even there.
In one single night, in one single moment, Loki had lost everything.
His brother, his best friend, his confidante and, lastly, his lover. Alongside with his happiness and self-respect. There was nothing left to live for.
He gradually stopped eating, he did everything to discreetly get weaker each day, so not to be prevented in his ultimate goal.
He simply wanted to die and be over with all of it.
What Loki didn't know, or else things would have turned out differently, was that Thor was enduring similar torments.
Yes, Thor did avoid Loki but only because of the terrible guilt and shame he was filled with. Not solely the act, but also the consequences.
Thor was haunted by Loki the same erotic way his brother was obsessed with him. But he was sure Loki hated him. So, out of the fear of forcing himself on Loki again, if he ever talked to him alone again, or to be scorned openly, if he managed to convey his feelings, Thor didn't dare to directly set things right with Loki. He hoped that Loki would soon recover and forget about the whole event. Thor also hoped that he too himself would forget that unnatural desire that burned his chest each time he perceived Loki's dark hair. That was not likely to happen any time soon.
"You. I choose you." chanted a soft broken voice in his head, each time he closed his eyes.
Paradoxically, it was Loki's stubbornness and will to die that saved them both. Without it, maybe they would have spend their whole lives together but separate for ever. Maybe Loki would have actually died without Thor having any say in it.
It was during the Harvest Festival. The biggest annual event in Asgard. Originally, all the kings, queens, royalty, thanes, chiefs of clans and tribes, in short, all the elite had to meet during one of the biggest celebration where most of the Asgardians were having the time of their life drinking, dancing and flirting. The capital and palace were covered with flowers and colorful lanterns. There were bands and happy crowds in every place. It was joy and music all around.
Except, of course, for two people.
The whole court of Asgard went on horse to the great meadows where a private reunion with many leaders was scheduled. It was a grand parade and all were dressed in their finest, gold, purple and silver, riding the most beautiful horses. Except for one person who looked like a ghost, even if he had the most impressive horns, and another that couldn't even smile under his feathered silver helmet.
Thor remarked, not for the first time, how weak his brother looked. His skin was completely white and it seemed that holding his head straight demanded effort. He was slightly trembling on his horse and, more than once, Thor feared he would fall off his saddle.
He had to prevent himself from running to him and hold him tight to his chest.
Apparently Loki didn't want anything to do with Thor anymore. They had not spoke in months. So he was sure he would be beaten into a pulp if he only tried to reach out to his little brother.
But something had to be done.
It was Loki's paleness and staggering walk during the meeting that finally decided Thor to break his resolve. Loki was seriously about to glide on the ground and faint while Odin All-Father and the Elders were making small talk and no one noticed the prince's bad condition.
Thor profited that no one was looking to go to his brother and grab his arm. Instantly, Loki tried to fend him off but it was too weakly done. Thor held him back even more firmly, preventing him to protest. Thor was devastated. Loki used to be powerful, not frail like a newborn kitten.
"Easy, Brother. I have you."
Thor bit his tongue. He had said the exact words he uttered first during… They must have ignited Loki's fury for Thor was answered by indignant growls that vaguely sounded like "leave me be !" and another nasty pull of the arm that made its way out this time. Being free from Thor's hand, Loki started to run to his horse only to almost stumble. He managed to get his balance but barely. Thor was on his heels.
"Loki ! Wait !"
But Loki didn't listen. He was grabbing the reins and trying to get up the saddle but he heard Thor's running to him behind and he panicked. He didn't feel strong enough to hoist himself and gallop. He was terrified of Thor, right here and now. If Thor managed to grab Loki, something terrible would occur. He had to flee.
So Loki made a crazy move. He ran to the woods while the Thunderer was imploring him to wait.
Loki was out of his mind and he had weeds slapping his legs and arms. His horns got caught in a branch, he simply threw them out and kept running. He needed out, he needed to hide. It was hard to breathe and his throat started to burn. He was hearing footsteps behind him, really close, and he knew they were Thor's.
His brother was behind, to hunt him, hurt him... or worse.
He heard another plea to stop. As if Loki was going to fall for that. That dirty liar was trying to lure him so he could dispose of his shameful whore of a brother. Why, he was used goods already so why bother ? Thor would have his fun with Loki then he would whine to Odin All-Father that he had been seduced by his evil little brother. There would be nothing left for Loki but public humiliation and disgrace.
Loki would rather die of exhaustion from running like a fool than fall into the obvious trap and his brother's clutches.
If only he could reach the clearing and the brook nearby, he would turn into a trout and escape.
If he could make it.
Because the burn in his throat was turning into a fire and he was starting to have a bad stitch on his side. It was getting even harder to breathe. How could he have been so dumb, making himself so weak ? Loki implored the Norns. A few yards... Just a few yards and he would be saved.
Damn, Thor was fast. He could hear him scream at Loki to be careful, to stop, to wait... Why couldn't he just leave Loki alone ? Wasn't there many other opportunities for Thor to have a good time ? Countless ladies, courtesans, maids and various women, not to mention the men ? Why Loki ?
Loki threw his last strength into the chase. There was a clearing of trees already.
Just a few yards, thanks the Norns. Thor was not going to make it on time.
Loki smiled.
And then he grimaced in horror.
In front of him, instead of a clear brook, a very stern steep rock, thick as the Palace's vaults, was standing.
Loki realized he got the wrong way. He had fell into a natural trap. He had no strength left to explode the rocks. And it could backfire on him anyway.
He would have wailed of anguish and despair had he any voice left.
And, lo and behold, his tormentor had appeared from under the trees, his face all red from lust and running. Ready to attack and tear Loki into pieces.
Loki crawled, his back on the cliff. Ready to fight with his last forces. If Thor was determined to have his way, he'll have to put some effort into it. In last resort, Loki had a dagger hidden under his cloak... He wouldn't hurt Thor but would leave this world free of his brother's desire.
Do not come near me..." Loki croaked, trying to get his breath back. "Or, I'll swear...
Brother... Calm down...
Thor was coming closer slowly. His hands extended as if to appease a scared animal. Which was Loki felt like right now.
I swear..." He had to gulp to make himself clear. "I'll fight, I'll kill..." but his throat was constricting and he coughed.
Thor profited from the disturbance to finally grab Loki. Only to be answered by desperate yells and blows. Loki was squirming like a mad cat. Thor had a hard time trying to subdue him so he wouldn't hurt himself. Loki wanted to throw punches but, in the state he was in, it was as if his fists were pillows.
Finally Thor pinned him down on the ground of moss, using all his weight. It wasn't that hard. But then Loki's rage crumbled and his eyes filled with tears. He uttered a terrible sob. He looked as if he had given up any hope. He was so far away from the elegant and serpentine Silvertongue clad in gold.
- Go ahead, then, Brother..." He sighed, defeated. " Claim your prize, go gloat in all Asgard over your pathetic slut of a brother. But once you're done. Please... Leave me be in peace, permanently."
Thor saw Loki sigh again then grit his teeth, clutch the weeds and close his eyes as if bracing himself for a terrible blow.
- Loki ?... You are making no sense... You're feverish !" Thor caressed Loki's brow, which was indeed very hot. On this, Loki winced.
"You need to rest, Brother. You are exhausted. And you need to eat. We're going back. I'll fetch the healers…
Thor's gentle tone put Loki over the edge and his fighting will back.
NO !
Brother, you are sick...
Go away, you hypocrite ! You are only acting this way to appear decent !
Thor sighed heavily. He sensed that he had lost his brother. Loki had no trust in him anymore and was repelled by him. It was a terrible mess...
Brother, I know I disgust you. I know that I deserve it, that you have every right to hate me. But know that I do love you and care for you as much as ever. In spite of what happened, you are still my Loki !
At those words, Loki slowly turned to Thor, his face as white and large as the moon, his eyes widely opened with a terrible expression that mixed shock, anger and confusion. Thor gasped. Loki was terrifying right now and his voice seemed to come out of darkness, low and threatening.
What... are you... talking... about ?
Thor opened then closed his mouth. Unable to comprehend Loki's reaction. Loki grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him so close Thor couldn't breathe.
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, YOU DUMB OAF ?!" Loki was screaming at the top of his lungs and hurting Thor's ears. "YOU are the one who finds ME disgusting ! YOU are the one who sees me as SOILED ! YOU are the one who doesn't want anything to do with ME, the brother you RAPED, anymore, YOU LYING PIG !
But as soon as he stopped yelling, the overwhelming exhaustion and grief took his breath away. He let go of Thor and fell back on the moss, hiding his face with both his hands.
Why don't you just kill me ? Why bother ? You'll be rid of me and I'll be in peace, away from all of this. I'll be...
Thor was not hearing the sad lament. He could only feel Loki's heart on his chest, beating like a bird trapped in a cage and his own heart that sounded like Mjöllnir in his ears. All he could perceive was relief. Loki didn't actually hate him. Loki thought he was rejected and Thor thought hewas too. The path to follow was so simple and clear it made Thor smile. But Loki misunderstood it again.
You think that's funny ?! " Loki was indignant and terribly hurt. "I knew you were nothing but a cruel, sadistic...
He was shut by a mouth on his lips, a mouth that felt so warm it could have burn Loki. A mouth that was demanding and claimed his lips, then forced the entry of the teeth and, once granted, proceed to take its time exploring the inside. Loki was like a deer caught that does not dare to move, hoping the hunters won't see him. He was shivering but not out of cold.
Listen to me, my love, and do not speak until I am done." Thor pursued with a last deep kiss to ensure Loki silence. "I handled the situation badly. I thought you wanted to be alone, that you wanted time to heal, and mostly that my sight was painful to you. I have been blind. I should have taken you to my bed and not let you out until you would have recovered. You've been through so much, my Loki, and it is entirely my fault. I am so, so, sorry...
Loki squirmed, this speech made no sense to him.
Shhh, darling. We are all right now." Thor caressed Loki a bit, on his arms and hips. "We'll get you back in shape. And when you'll be better..." He kissed him again. "I'll let my bedroom door open. So you can come anytime you want, if you do want it. If you want me...
Thor was out of words. He hoped that those could reach Loki's troubled heart. His brother was finally looking at him in the eyes. There was no fear or horror anymore, but there was still incomprehension and sadness.
I don't understand you..." Loki mumbled. "What do you want from me ?
Thor licked his lips. He was unsure as to how to lead this conversation.
I don't know... Everything, everything you are willing to give.
Loki blushed.
But you already had...
Thor cut in.
Unless you need to talk about it, I don't want to mention what happened this day, ever. And I don't consider it as our real first time. It was not of our choosing. But it can be now... I mean, if you want it...
Loki blushed a shade darker. He bit his lower lip. Something he hasn't done since they were young children. Something that just made Thor want to... He felt that he was also going red thinking about what they could do together.
I don't know what I want..." he muttered under his breath and averted his eyes again.
Thor made a daring move.
Then can I get what I want ?"
Before Loki could answer, he had hands all over him, caressing his hips and torso. Although Loki was dressed, he felt like those hands were leaving burning trails on him as did the invading tongue that kept exploring his mouth, than his face and his neck that he had offered to Thor out of reflex. He felt that Thor was slowly undulating against his groin arising a warmth that Loki had long forgotten.
Brother...
I'll stop when you want me to stop."
Loki couldn't answer now for his brain and the dreadful misery that had weighed on him for weeks was dissolving in the sweet arousal Thor was giving him. Thor increased his pace, holding both Loki's hips, settling between his parted legs. Loki finally put his arms around Thor's shoulders. He was not yet accepting to go further but Thor had gained back some of his trust.
Loki felt as if Thor was gently cradling him. It was a comfort Loki had never imagined he could have one day. Loki surprised himself by moving back to the rhythm of Thor's hipbone. He let his head fall back and Thor used it to nibble the white neck a little harder.
This is so insane...
I know, Brother.
I mean, it started like a madness...
But we can fix it.
But what about our parents, all the others... Heimdall ?...
We'll deal with all of this. I'll take the blame if necessary.
Thor, this is...
You think too much.
And with these last words, Thor claimed Loki's mouth again and let his hands roam all over his body.
When they parted, they stopped, looking at each other, out of breath.
My Loki, you're giving too much..." Panted Thor. "I do not dare to demand you like this, after all I promised, but..."
Loki closed his eyes. He blushed a bit then licked his lips, half because they were dry, half as a little bit of a tease.
I told you, Brother. Claim your prize. If I have your heart, as you pretend..." He untied his breastplate and undershirt. He took Thor's hand to land it on his left breast. "Then, take mine."
They were undressed in the blink of an eye. Thor was so excited of having what was denied to him for ages than he got a little too enthusiastic. Loki was getting seriously nervous.
Easy, Brother... I still hurt from last time...
Thor slowed down.
I'll be sweet as a lamb, Brother.
Loki admired the broad, full chest, the strong shoulders. He didn't look further because, it was already embarrassing. They were both on their own with no pressure, no witness and no support. Loki feared he was too thin now to Thor's taste. But Thor didn't seem to mind, as he gently went down on Loki's lower parts. He stopped to look mischievously at his brother, gently blowing on the sensitive place.
Has anyone taken you in their mouths before, Brother ?
N-no...
And without further ado, he engulfed Loki's length, taking his breath away. His skillful tongue reducing his now willing prey to perfect melting. Loki's pride defended him to beg but Thor kept putting him on he edge over and over, only to stop before completion. He even reached to Loki's nipples, rolling them and pinching them, making Loki yelp. He had no idea one could feel pleasure only from that.
Brother... I knew you were cruel. You want my death...
Thor released Loki's unfortunate cock to smile even more naughtily.
Actually, I do. But in my arms, with your mouth on mine and screaming my name as I bury myself in you, as deep and hard as I can...
Thor's shameless murmurs made Loki blush violently. The accuracy of the details and the arrogance made his blood burn and want for more, unexpectedly.
So much tongue, my dear Brother. Are you sure you'll keep to your words ?
Thor didn't answer and simply smiled more broadly.
Deep in the woods, the beasts had a disturbed afternoon. Their usual peace was interrupted by passionate cries, worthy of the most heated season.
Oh no, Brother ! No, no, no, not here !
Sweet little Loki, but you are so delectable, so open...
But don't lick me there ! It's disgusting ! Please !
Then terrible and desperate moans followed and the rabbits ran to hide in their holes.
There was some rustles of leaves and moss, panting and more cries.
Ow... Brother... How can you be bigger than last time ?
Because I have no reason to restrain myself any longer. And the open air gave me appetite !
Oooh, you brute... You swore you won't hurt me... Ah...
Bear it a little, my love. You are almost there...
You animal... O-oh... Wait, till I have... Aaah... My strength back and you'll... AH !
To the rightful habitants of the woods, the show was distasteful. The two Two-Legs had no dignity, mating like this in front of the whole glade... The blond one was mounting the darker one holding him by the hips and pounding very noisily. They both were covered in their own sweat and their hairs were disgustingly sticking to their fur-deprived brows.
Oooh... please...
I think I touched a special place inside my Loki, haven't I ?
Oh, I am dying... I am going to die...
Didn't you want me to prove my words, my love ? Do you surrender to me, now ? Body and soul ? Are you mine ?
YES ! Yes ! But please !
"Please" what ? "Please, stop" ? Please, continue" ?
There was another loud whimper from the darker one. The blond pulled him up on his lap and held his head to his neck.
Have mercy, Brother... You are killing me... Oh...
My love, you flesh is an undying source of pleasure...
But, it is too much... Oh-aah !
Forgive me, my darling, I have been selfish... But I will... Aaarh...
Exasperated, the badgers, foxes, snakes and wolves fled the place. The screaming of pleasure was seriously too much.
Thor had difficulties explaining his state of dress and Loki's and the fact that they had disappeared. Odin didn't press any further as Frigga had finally a good reason to pamper and watch over her feverish little Loki. Thor was relieved but couldn't believe how blind their parents were. Maybe they were satisfied with the return of a better mood between their sons. Loki was put to bed and Thor came to visit him often. No one noticed the spell of silence that was woven around Loki's room each time Thor came.
The evening after their return, after weeks of nightmares, Loki dreamed about the mare and the stallion again. Except that now they were peacefully grazing, side by side on a beautiful green field. A very young foal was standing nearby.
In the deep recess of his mind, Loki smiled and made a promise to himself to thank his fellow warlock for his help. Things had turned perfectly in the end, indeed...