Chapter Two:

In My Veins

"Nothing goes as planned. Everything will break. People say goodbye, in their own special way." - Andrew Belle.

The drive to Bonnie's childhood home from the Salvatore Boarding House seemed to take longer than she remembered. Mostly because of the awkward silence that the drive started with. Bonnie focused on watching her home town zoom past her window. Jeremy, as a driver, focused way more than he should have on his ex-girlfriend sitting in the seat next to him. She seemed different to him. There was a certain peace about her that hadn't been there before. No, not peace. Resignation. Resignation at what she had lost.

"So where have you been travelling all this time?" Jeremy asked Bonnie, finally breaking the silence. Bonnie glanced back towards the front windshield of the car, looking pensive. She was struggling to remember where she had gone after Paris, the first time.

"I went to Paris first." She paused, but she found herself continuing despite the fact that her insides were screaming at her not to. "Enzo and I went there a couple of months before he was murdered. I wanted to feel close to him, you know?" Bonnie glanced sideways at Jeremy and noticed that his posture and facial expressions had both stiffened in determination to suppress any emotional response her words may have had on him. Jeremy was suddenly much more focused on the road before them.

"I'm sorry, Bonnie." He paused for a moment, taking a gulp. "I'm sorry for the way that everything played out." Jeremy paused again, taking a quick sideways glance at her. Bonnie's posture and facial expression had also grown hard in a similar determination to his only moments before. "And that I wasn't here to help." Bonnie shook her head.

"No." Bonnie said with determination, looking at him intently. "You had a chance to get out and start a fresh somewhere new." Bonnie found herself holding back tears, remembering the way things had ended between them and reflecting over how much they had each lost since then. "I'm so glad that you took it." Jeremy didn't take his stony gaze away from the road in front of them. He opened his mouth as if he was going to argue, but then closed his mouth and tightened his grip on the steering wheel. A few turns around corners later, Jeremy's face had softened somewhat.

"So where did you go after Paris?" He asked. Bonnie thought for a moment and then grinned.

"Transylvania." She said. Jeremy laughed and glanced at her sideways again.

"Evil Vampire capital of the world. That's a little cliche, don't you think?" He asked, still smirking. Bonnie just smiled.

"Vlad isn't that bad! He's just..." Bonnie paused. "Misunderstood." She finished. Jeremy laughed again, shaking his head.

"All his friends kept piking on him." Jeremy said with a lopsided smirk. This time, Bonnie laughed and shook her head at his pun. She rested her elbow on the windowsill of the car door and her chin on her fisted hand, watching the town zoom past once more. She noticed they were only two blocks from her Grams' place now. "So where else did you visit over the years? I only spoke to you briefly when you visited for the engagement party. So it's been what, three and a half years?" Jeremy asked. Bonnie looked shocked for a moment, doing the mental math, and then, once she had confirmed it, nodded and continued.

"Let's see...after Transylvania, it was Greece, Turkey, Russia, Scandinavia, Slovenia, Slovakia, Poland, Italy, then back here for the engagement, then I flew to Morocco, Portugal, Spain, Austria, Germany, Switzerland, Ireland, Britain and back to Paris, where I've been for around 6 months or so now." Jeremy looked gobsmacked. He was in awe of all of the wondrous sights Bonnie must have seen in her travels. He tried not to be jealous.

"Wow. That sounds incredible." Jeremy said, impressed. Bonnie just nodded. She wasn't sure what to say next for fear of sounding arrogant.

"I promised him that I would see everything that he had never managed to." She said quietly. "Everything that we had planned to see together one day, I had to see for the both of us." Bonnie absentmindedly fondled the round pendant around her neck. Enzo's blood was still preserved in the vial within its centre. Jeremy resumed his stiffened and stoic position, refocusing on the road. They were on the right street now. Jeremy started to slow down as the white, weatherboard house came into view. He pulled onto the dirt driveway and parked the car. Bonnie looked up at the house with a smile, remembering all of the times Jeremy had driven her here over the years.

Bonnie stepped out of the car and grabbed her handbag off of the floor of her footwell. Closing the door with one hand, she fumbled inside her bag for her keys with the other and then realised that Jeremy was already unlocking the front door. Bonnie shook her head. She needed to get her head together. Jeremy opened the front door and held it open for her.

"After you." He said with a smile. Bonnie nodded at him and walked into the house. Her bags were in a neat pile in the foyer. When she had come home earlier she had only checked that all of the doors and windows were secure and that each room in the house seemed undisturbed. Unpacking hadn't even been a blip on her radar. Jeremy left the door open and turned to face Bonnie. Then he noticed the pile of luggage. "Is this everything?" He asked her. Bonnie nodded.

"Yes. I hadn't had time to unpack." She responded. Jeremy nodded and picked up a suitcase in each hand, heading out to load up the car. Bonnie gave herself a moment to wander into her old bedroom. She opened the door.

The room hadn't changed since the last time she stayed there; before Enzo had died. After he was gone and after everything, Bonnie had stayed at her Dad's old home. This was to avoid the heartache of remembering the last time she had slept in this bed, but also for more practical reasons. Her travel plans were not cheap. Her Dad's home had been left to her, but she already had a home; two homes in fact. Although, she hadn't been brave enough to set foot in the old B&B yet at all. She had moved into her Dad's home and done a few DIY renovations before putting it on the market. The sale had finalised the very day she left Mystic Falls. When she returned nearly two years later to celebrate Elena and Damon's engagement, all she had been reminded of was when Enzo's heart had been torn from his chest...and taken her's with it. She had stayed at Elena and Damon's new place the night of the engagement, and had left the very next day. That flight had been the worst she had ever been on. Not for reasons like screaming children, or smelly people sitting next to her, but because with each mile she drew further away, she both missed and ached for her home town and the people within it, but knew that she couldn't return for a long time. It was just too painful.

Bonnie heard Jeremy come back in for the rest of her bags and leave again through the front door. She wandered over to her chest of drawers and opened the top drawer. Inside were some of Enzo's belongings, that she had insisted he leave here so that he would begin to feel more at home. A t-shirt, underwear, a leather jacket and jeans. She fondled the necklace around her neck once more, something she did more than she realised. Reaching into the drawer, she picked up the jacket and let the leather run through her fingertips, hoping that they would reach through the veil to feel the firmness of Enzo's chest beneath it. Little did she know that he was standing right beside her the whole time.

"I know, love." He whispered silently to her deaf ears. "I know." A tear rolled down her cheek and she pressed the jacket into her face, breathing in the remnants of his scent, which had already faded with time. Only the faint smell of his aftershave remained. His personal scent was long gone, replaced with staleness. When Jeremy re-entered, he called her name.

"Bonnie?" She heard him enter the room behind her and quickly wiped her face on the back of her right hand before turning around. Jeremy lowered his gaze to the crumpled jacket in her hands and his heart broke for her. "Do you need a moment?" He asked softly. Bonnie sniffed, holding in tears, but then she shook her head.

"I should have known that I couldn't have stayed here." She said, her bottom lip quivering and her face crinkling in anguish. "He's everywhere. I can't stand it." Her voice cracked through the emotion and she shoved the jacket back in her drawer, slamming it shut and leaving the room.

Jeremy stood for a moment, staring around the room he used to frequent so often as a teen. It had changed since he was last here. But every inch of it, still spoke volumes in Bonnie's unique voice. From the sheer deep purple curtains to the fairy lights that littered her head board. Jeremy turned and left the room, closing the door behind him. He spun on his feet to head for the front door, assuming that that's where Bonnie would have gone, but then he heard sniffle from down near the floor. He lowered his gaze and found her, hugging her knees to her chest, her face buried in her folded arms atop them.

Jeremy knew his relationship with Anna had not been the epic love that Bonnie had experienced with Enzo, being so young, but it had certainly felt that way to him at the time. He could empathise with what she was going through. The reminders of those you lose are everywhere, for so long. To this day he couldn't set foot in a library without half expecting to see Anna's smiling face between the books, from one aisle to the next. Whenever he felt lost, he still craved to feel his mother's arms around his shoulders telling him he was going to be okay. He was no stranger to grief and knew there was nothing he could do to ease her pain. So he did what was possibly the only thing he could do. He sat down beside her, took her hand from her knees and clasped it in both of his, and held it while she broke.

"I just feel so alone." Bonnie said between her tears. Jeremy shushed her calmly and then released her hand to reach his right arm around her small frame protectively, pulling her in to rest her face on his chest. Her tears soaked his t-shirt through quickly, but didn't care.

"You're not alone. If my experience with ghosts tells me anything, he's probably nearby right now. Watching you and wishing that he could be the one holding you." Bonnie shook with her tears, squinting away from Jeremy's chest for a moment to glance up and down the hallway, wishing for a sign that Enzo was there. But she saw nothing.

"He's not wrong, love." Enzo whispered from his position down the hall. His face was contorted in anguish at seeing the love of both his life and death, so incredibly broken over his absence. He watched her intently, thanking Jeremy for comforting her. But his words fell on deaf ears, yet again, and he strode into the shadows beyond the end table in the hall.

Bonnie sat with her face buried into Jeremy's chest. He simply waited for her to recuperate, stroking her hair, attempting to provide some comfort. Eventually she raised her head and, staring straight ahead at the hallway wall opposite, she wiped her face with her hands and took a deep but shaky breath. Jeremy pulled his arm away from around her shoulders.

"Are you okay, Bon?" He asked softly, knowing the real answer without having to ask. She understood immediately that he meant in the moment as opposed to if she was actually okay. She wouldn't be for some time. But she was able to stand, and that was a start. Bonnie nodded and rose from the floor, holding her clenched fists in front of her stomach as she did so, almost as if it was a fight to stand. In a way, it was.

"We should get back." She stated, avoiding Jeremy's concerned eyes. He reached out and cupped her upper arm gently in his hand.

"It's okay to break." He told her. Bonnie grimaced as she held back more tears and nodded quickly, still avoiding his eyes.

"Thank you." She said so quietly that it was practically a whisper. Jeremy smiled sadly.

"Anytime." Bonnie couldn't help but recognise the understanding look in his eyes. She had seen it so many times before. Jeremy had always seemed to understand her so well.

Jeremy strode into his bedroom with purpose, carrying a glass of water. Bonnie watched him with a small smile, tucking her legs beneath her as he approached, wanting him to sit beside her. He passed her the water.

"Here, drink this." He instructed her with concern. Bonnie reached out with both hands, still a little shaky.

"Thanks." Bonnie took a sip of the water, watching Jeremy's face as she did so. She could practically see the cogs turning in his head, panicked at what had happened to her.

"What happened? You scared the hell out of me." Bonnie pulled away from the glass, setting it down on Jeremy's bedside table and tried to give him a reassured look, despite her own concerns.

"It's nothing." She said, shaking her head. Jeremy shook his head in response, determination setting in on his face.

"It wasn't nothing, Bonnie." Bonnie sat up, straightening her back against Jeremy's headboard. Jeremy looked exasperated in his concern about her wellbeing.

"I've been doing a lot of magic lately. It wears me down." Bonnie said, her expression almost defiant, for she was adamant that Jeremy not think her weak. But Jeremy continued.

"When I'm worn down, I take a nap. You were…you were unconscious." He insisted, doubtful.

"Witchcraft has its limits. If I push too hard, it pushes back." Bonnie told him, almost whispering. She hadn't told anyone else about her weakness.

"How do you know all this?" Jeremy asked, curious.

"It's all in here." Bonnie gestured at her family grimoire that was resting on Jeremy's bedside table. "It's like a reminder that I'm not invincible." Jeremy pursed his lips, still concerned. Bonnie grew worried that he would tell the others to put a stop to their constant expectations of her to do magic for them. Bonnie leaned forward, taking Jeremy's hands in hers."Please…don't…don't tell anyone."

"Why not?" Jeremy asked, not sensing the danger.

"Because it's a weakness and I don't want certain people to know that." Bonnie explained.

"By certain people, you mean Damon." Jeremy said with a sneer.

"I mean anyone that can hurt me." Bonnie told him earnestly. Jeremy nodded, removing his hands from Bonnie's only to take hers in his.

"I won't tell anyone, okay? I promise." He told her genuinely. Bonnie nodded, smiling gratefully. Her eyes were still tired from fainting. He squeezed her hands gently. Jeremy's eyes flickered from her eyes to her lips. Bonnie didn't miss a beat. She wasn't ready for that. She didn't think Jeremy was either.

"It's hard, you know? My grams is gone and my dad, he doesn't want to know about what I am. He hasn't since my mum left. I'm all alone in this." Bonnie told him, sitting upright a little, pulling away from Jeremy, but not withdrawing her hands, which were still gently nestled inside his.

"It's how I feel a lot of the time, alone." Jeremy swallowed slowly. Deliberately. He let his eyes flicker to Bonnie's lips again. She nodded, amazed that someone she had known since they were so young, had morphed into the person sitting before her. A person who seemed to understand her in a way that no one else did. And when concerned for her wellbeing, actually sought more information to better protect and care for her.