Mr. Ziggles walked back outside. The rain had stopped and the sun was shining.
"Going somewhere again?" Mr. Michaels was taking out the garbage.
"I forgot to get potatoes. I have to go back to the grocery store." Mr. Ziggles replied
Mr. Michaels raised his eyebrow. "If that's all you need, I can loan you a few."
"Thank-you, but I don't want to be a burden." Normally not one to turn down free potatoes, but Mr. Ziggles definitely wanted to see Mr. Bourne again. He was unsure exactly why, but he hoped that if he did, he could answer the question as to whether he was turning into a cucumber fiend or if he still was a melon-man.
"It's not a problem... Mr. H just bought a huge bag of them..."
"Uhhh, but there's something else I needed." Mr. Ziggles lied.
"Okay." Mr. Michaels didn't press it. After all, he'd met Mr. H at a bar. "Have fun."
Whistling "I am perfection", Mr. Ziggles drove back to the grocery store. He hoped that he wasn't too late to get his potatoes and maybe see Mr. Bourne again.
Once more, he pulled into the parking lot of McMahon's grocery store. Mr. Ziggles frowned upon looking at the entrance. Instead of the jovial face of Mr. McMahon, he saw the angry face of Mr. Lawson, Mr. McMahon's new head of security. Mr. Ziggles did not like Mr. Lawson, and neither did any of Mr. Ziggles' friends.
Mr. Lawson's job was to make sure that no one left the store without paying for their groceries. Thankfully, Mr. Gaspard was nowhere in sight because there were rumors about what Mr. Lawson did to people he caught stealing and they were not very pleasant.
"Hello, Mr. Lawson."
"Ziggles." Mr. Lawson grunted "Don't let me catch you stealin' anything."
"I would never take anything without paying for it." Mr. Ziggles swallowed nervously. "I just need some potatoes for my dinner tonight."
"I'm watching you." To make his point, Lawson stared at Mr. Ziggles until he was inside the store.
The store had fewer people inside so it was easier for Mr. Ziggles to grab his potatoes and pay for them. He'd wandered the store, hoping to see Mr. Bourne, but alas he was nowhere in sigh. He was sad because he had wanted to talk to him again.
He was just passing the entrance when he heard Mr. Calaway, the butcher, talking to Miss McCool.
"I sent Mr. Bourne to get those steaks for our dinner." He said "He should be back soon if he knows what is good for him."
"Oh, Mr. Calaway, why must you always be so mean?" Miss McCool sighed
"Because I have an image to uphold."
Mr. Ziggles' heart skipped a beat. Hoping he wasn't going to look too anxious, he stepped outside and waited for the object of his confusion to emerge from the market. The five pound bag of potatoes suddenly felt a lot heavier and Mr. Ziggles almost dropped it when he heard the swoosh of the sliding door opening.
"It's about time, Bourne. When Miss McCool sends you for something, I shouldn't have to ask you as well." Mr. Calaway towered almost a foot over Mr. Bourne.
"Yessir." Mr. Bourne looked like he was going to tinkle in his khaki pants.
Mr. Ziggles would normally have stood up for the smaller man, but he was also afraid of Mr. Calaway. Put a man with a short temper together with a job where he was allowed to handle sharp objects and that spelled trouble.
"Just remember that, Bourne." Calaway and McCool locked arms and strolled to Mr. Calaway's monster truck.
Mr. Bourne watched them leave, his Adam's apple bobbing nervously.
"That wasn't very nice of him." Mr. Ziggles noticed Mr. Lawson staring at them both with distrust, as if they were discussing how to walk out of McMahon's with cantaloupes stuffed into their pockets. "Why do you let him do that to you?"
"'Coz if I don't, he said he'd get McMahon to fire me." Bourne's shoulders started to twitch.
"You want me to deal with that motherfucker Calaway?"
Both Ziggles and Bourne turned. Had they really heard what they'd thought they'd just heard? For a moment, they both couldn't believe their ears. Mr. Lawson had worked for Mr. McMahon for several months and, to Mr. Bourne's knowledge, this was the first time he'd tried to strike up a conversation with anyone he worked with. He usually looked like he wanted to kill his co-workers rather than talk to them.
Mr. Lawson looked at Bourne and Ziggles. "Don't look so motherfuckin' shocked."
"S-S-sorry, Mr. Lawson. It's just th-that you've never said two words to me before." Mr. Bourne looked more anxious now that when Mr. Calaway was threatening him.
"It don't happen often." Lawson shrugged "But I don't like to see idiots like that push people around."
"Thank you for the k... offer." Mr. Bourne almost said 'kind', but somehow that word and Mr. Lawson didn't seem to go together real well. "But I'll talk to Mr. McMahon tomorrow."
Mr. Lawson shrugged again. He knew that Mr. McMahon was also scared of Mr. Calaway. A firing was definitely not gonna happen if Mr. McMahon wanted to continue breathing. "Just throwin' it out there. You off-shift, Bourne?"
"Yeah." Bourne definitely looked like he wanted to be somewhere else.
"You know the drill. Today is your lucky day."
Mr. Ziggles soon found out what that meant. Mr. McMahon's security protocol included random employee searches, conducted by Mr. Lawson. Mr. Ziggles watched while Mr. Bourne was quickly patted down. He giggled childishly when the hands of the security guard passed over his special place, and even louder when they paused to squeeze. Mr. Ziggles started wondering if those hands could one day be his, but quickly turned his thoughts to dinner when he started to go hard.
"You're clean." Lawson concluded his search.
It was now or never. "Uhm..." Mr Ziggles cleared his throat. "I was wondering... you see, I have all these extra potatoes and..." He knew the blood was rushing to his face and wondered for a moment if it was possible for the human head to explode from embarrassment. "...would you be interested in having dinner with me?"
"Mr. Ziggles, are you asking me for a date?" Mr. Bourne squeaked
"Well, not exactly. I'm pretty sure I like melons..." Staring at his feet definitely became his new favorite sport.
"Oh. I don't." Mr. Bourne replied "And I would be happy to have some potatoes with you." The way he said potatoes made it clear he was expecting that to be the entire meal.
"Oh, no! I have steak and other good things to eat as well."
"I like eating meat." Mr. Bourne answered
Another X-rated vision went through Mr. Ziggles' head. Mr. Ziggles really needed to get a little action so these visions wouldn't cause such an inappropriate reaction in certain parts of his body. "I know." He answered quickly.
"What time do you eat?"
"By the time I get home and get everything ready, it will be an hour or two."
"Okay. I will go home and get changed and then I will meet you for dinner, okay?"
"Okay." Mr. Ziggles' eyes lit up when Mr. Bourne officially agreed to their dinner date. "Here's my address." He scribbled it on the back of his potato receipt. "I can't wait."
Mr. Bourne and Mr. Ziggles walked to their cars for the drive to their homes.
It felt like the tires never touched the ground the entire way home for Mr. Ziggles. He pulled into the driveway and to his surprise, Mr. Michaels was still outside. He's long-since taken out the garbage and now he was washing his car.
"I see you got your potatoes." Mr. Michaels noted.
"Yes. Thank you for the offer of some of your own, though. It was rather nice of you."
"No problem, Mr. Ziggles. Mr. H isn't much of a potato eater unless they're from McDonald's."
"I don't mean to be rude, but I must go start dinner. I am having a guest over."
Mr. Michaels raised his eyebrows and whistled seductively. "Mr. Ziggles, you sly dog! Hey, Mr. H... Ziggles hooked up with someone!"
Mr. H stuck his head through an open ground floor window. "Hot damn, Ziggles! It's about time! Who's the lucky babe?"
"Well, actually..." Mr. Ziggles pretended to find something interesting in the brickwork of the house belonging to Michaels and H.
"That's not nice! If Ziggles wants to tell us who he's gonna shack up with, he will. It's none of our business anyway." Mr. Michaels scolded his boyfriend.
From his hurt expression, Mr. H didn't like being talked to like that. "Fine." He sulked "That thing we do once a week... you can do it by yourself this time!" Slamming the window loudly, he ended his part of the conversation quite emphatically.
Mr. Michaels shrugged. "Whatever. I hope whoever she is, she makes you happy."
"Uhm, Mr. Michaels... you've got it wrong." If there was anyone he felt he could talk to about what was going through his mind, it was Mr. M.
"Oh? Just how wrong do I have it?"
"It's Mr. Bourne. And I think he might like me the same way you and Mr. H like each other." Mr. Ziggles' face was turning that embarrassing shade or red again, he could feel it.
"Do you need some advice?" Mr. Michaels took Mr. Ziggles by the shoulder and walked him around the side of the house, away from any possible commentary from certain other persons.
"I mean, I'm not sure if he does, but he admitted that he likes meat instead of melons. Plus he seemed to enjoy being touched, y'know..."
"South of the border?" Mr. Michaels turned his head slightly.
Mr. Ziggles blushed even further. His face was such a dark red that he felt feverish.
"Look, the only advice I can give you is be yourself. Don't try to force anything. If you and Mr. Bourne are meant to be together, then you'll be together. If not, there's always that guy down the street."
"Mr. Jacobs? He's scary though."
"Yeah, but I hear he's loaded." Mr. Michaels looked down the street and Mr. Jacobs' house... the largest on the block.
"Money isn't everything, Mr. Michaels." Mr. Ziggles replied
"But it helps." Mr. Michaels answered "Trust me."
"Thank-you, Mr. Michaels." Mr. Ziggles responded
"Anytime. If you need any more advice, just stop by. I'll try to keep Mr. H from being more of an idiot than he was today." Mr. Michaels began to hose off his car.
Mr. Ziggles walked back inside, humming "I am perfection" under his breath. He dropped the bag of potatoes on the kitchen counter, next to the steaks. He had no idea where tonight would lead him, but hopefully it would turn out to be 'perfection'.