Disclaimer: I do not own the PJO series. Please do not send lawyers after me.
When my best friend Elliot suggested that we go on a road trip down the east coast, my immediate reaction was as follows:
"Are you out of your mind?" Of course, Elliot is not exactly known for his brilliant ideas, but suggesting that five demigods wander across the country, attracting who knows how many monsters, that was a new low. Eventually, however, I agreed, because, as a daughter of Hermes, I've always had a yen to travel. Also Elliot promised to pay for everything. I figured, hey, what's the worst that could go wrong?
So now I'm walking with Luca to the parking lot, where a brand new (okay, slightly used) Winnebago is waiting. I bought it on EBay a few days ago, and it just arrived. Two more of my friends, Skylar and Elliot, are walking toward us. Elliot is carrying both his normal sized bag of luggage and Skylar's gargantuan one. This is no surprise. Elliot's had a crush on Skylar since they met. Skylar wave hello to us and Elliot smiles weakly.
"Hi Emma, hi Lucas, this is going to be so much fun! Where are we going first? How about LA? Or Hawaii?"
"I was thinking more of Washington DC."
"Okay, either way, this is going to be so much fun!" While we are having this conversation, Elliot is being slowly crushed under the weight of Skylar's bag Luca helps him up and then turns to me, glowering.
"What's taking Angeline so long? She's normally the first one here!" he complains impatiently. I shrug. We stand on the green waiting a few more minutes, and then Angeline comes running up from the Athena cabin. A hoodie covers her hair.
"Sorry I'm late." she pants. Her hoodie falls down, exposing her hair, I let out a shriek.
Angeline's normally jet black hair has been dyed platinum blonde. Instead of being in a pony tail, like usual, it hangs down her shoulders in ringlets. She looks ridiculous, like some sort of really lame cosplayer. Luca voices all our opinions.
"What is wrong with your hair!" Angeline looks miffed.
"I dyed it blonde."
"I know but... why?"
"Why do you think? Because all my siblings are blonde!" She rolls her eyes.
"Not all your siblings are blonde." Elliot points out. She glares at him and he cowers behind Skylar's suitcase.
I wince. "Please tell me that's not permanent."
"Oh yes it is! Come on, none of you like it? Not even you Skylar? Your always telling me I need to make bold fashion choices. Well, I did!" Skylar looks at the ground uncomfortably, as do the rest of us. Then finally, Elliot ends the uncomfortable silence.
"Are we going or not? Chiron says we need to be out by noon, or else the cleaning harpies will eat us." Chiron has granted us some time off from camp. He thinks we're going to relatives, not going sightseeing and slacking off from our training.
I run ahead, anxious to see my new RV for the first time. The guy I got it from on EBay said it had only been used once before, and I can't wait to ease myself into the driver's seat of this beautiful, magnificent... hunk of junk?
The Winnebago is at least ten years old, and all of the metal has rusted. Someone has glued an ornament shaped like a big cat on the hood, and a cougar surrounded by a fence of barbed wire has been painted on the side. Clearly this belonged to some motorcycle gang, and when they realized what a piece of crap it was, they dumped it on some poor, unsuspecting buyer; manly me. I grab the keys from the hood and step inside. It reeks likes cigarettes, beer, and onions. In the back, there is a pile of dirty laundry with penicillin mold growing on it. There are broken longneck everywhere, and when I open the freezer I am attacked by a squadron of leftover Chinese food, which the gang was wisely saving up for an emergency. The beds are covered with bags of trash, and probably have fleas.
Behind me, Skylar makes a noise like she's going to hurl. Angeline's mouth opens and closes, but no words come out.
"It's... it's a dive bar on wheels. I manage to stammer. Elliot nods in agreement, and Luca groans. I take a deep, breath -big mistake, it smells like a garbage dump in here- and focus myself.
"Okay guys, we've got about two hours to make this thing less of a bio-hazard, so let's go!"
We start by hosing down the side of the RV, then we seal all the cracks with duct tape. After that we take out all the trash bags. Nobody will touch the dirty laundry, so I use our suitcases to segregate it from the rest of the room. We sweep away the broken glass, and I spray the entire interior with massive amounts of bug spray, the objective being that it will get rid of the fleas and make the air smell better. By the time we're finished, it's noon, and we pull out of camp, thus starting the poorest planned vacation ever.
So there you have it! Those of you who study Murphy's Law know that the stinking Winnebago is not nearly the worst thing that's going to happen. I value your opinion and ideas, so please, feel free to critique.