Chapter 1: Where are you Kaoru

Chapter 1: Where are you Kaoru?

Kyoto - 2001

'Damn it!' Why did I wander for 10 years? And without any clue.

ARGH!' thought Kenshin for nth time.

He had spent the last week in front of his laptop locked in the guest's room of 'her' (his) sister's house, but even if he had searched all the web pages he could think of, he couldn't find anything valuable.

The Hitokiri that fought in the Bakumatsu weren't named. The records accepted the existence of these people but didn't confirm their identities. At the end of the war many of them died because they couldn't live in peace and the rest of them took political positions in the government. But there was no information on the Battousai. Most of the information that Kenshin had read said that the Hitokiri Battousai didn't exist at all, that he was some kind of illusion created by the Ishinshishi to scare the Shinsengumi.

Another web 'pages' (page) informed (him) that Battousai existed, but that he died after the Bakumatsu because he couldn't adapt to the new system. A system without a sword.

Kenshin paced in his room near the computer waiting for it to finish his last research. The word key: 'Kamiya'.

In no time he heard the *Beep* and he was again sitting in front of his computer.

'Arghh! Why did I wander for 10 years? What was I thinking? Well... I knew what was I thinking, but... there are no clues! No information. Stupid computer! No information on the Kamiya dojo. What could have happened after I passed away? Did Yahiko continue with the kendo? Maybe he changed the name of the dojo...

Kenshin typed again, this time it was: 'Myoujin'.

He paced again in front of the computer, waiting.

He had always known whom he had been but never talked about it with anyone. All his life he had been waiting to meet her again, but that day never came. Kenshin was a patient man, but even his patience had a limit, and that limit was surpassed this year. He had met many people from his past but not Kaoru.

*Beep* The sound of the computer woke him up from his daydreaming. He jumped in front of the computer and began reading the 2 results.

After checking them slowly he erased one that had nothing to do with what he was looking for. The other one talked about the father of Yahiko, but only of his designation and how and when he died, things that he remembers from his own past.

No use in asking Yahiko, he doesn't remember anything of his past. But I would like to know what happened to him after I passed away. It seems that no one remembers. Not Sano or Megumi, nor Misao or Tomoe, neither Akira, and I am glad for that. I am glad that Tomoe is happy now. She deserves it, she deserves to be with Akira now, and I am happy for them both. I knew I was doing the right thing when I was 14 and I met Akira. I recognized him immediately and I only thought that the faster he meets my sister, the faster she will be happy. And I wasn't wrong!

I remember when Otousan showed me the picture of Tomoe and her mother. It was a shock to know that I will see her again and that she will became my step sister. I was only 6 years old. I was so scared that she will remember me and will be mad because I killed her. She was the first person of the past that I met, then came Sano with Yahiko and Megumi and later Misao. Why haven't I met you yet Kaoru?

Come on Kenshin, there must be some clue you can use. Think, think, think...

He stayed like that for several minutes, sitting in front of his computer with his head down and with his red hair covering his closed eyes. If anyone could see him, they would have though that he was asleep, but he was thinking desperately...

'Will she remember me? What if she doesn't? what if I find her and she is older than me and she's married and has sons and daughters... NO! She promised me that she would remember me, and Kaoru will always fulfill her vows! What if she doesn't exist? Or do I have to wait until I am 28 before I can meet her? 8 years... What am I gonna do for 8 years??!! I will not be able to wait 8 years alone. Argg! Kaoru, where are you? When can I see you again? Do you remember me? I miss you so much, and I never said how much I love you Kaoru...

Come on Kenshin THINK. There must be a connection of some kind, think! Ok, my name is Kenshin, right? RIGHT, and Megumi is still Megumi, and Misao is still Misao, and Yahiko is still Yahiko ¿ne? YES then Kaoru must still be Kaoru ¿ne? Wellll, NO! What about Sano? He was Sanosuke then and now he is Sanoshiro... What if Kaoru's name is Kaori or Kuori or something like that?? I can't look for someone I don't even know by name!! Why have I met everyone of the past except you?! I don't even know if you are from Tokyo like back then...

And the lastname is worse. all of them are different now. I was Himura and now I am Niiyama, and with the rest it is the same. I don't know your age either. I am 20, but that might mean you are 9 or 10... NOOO!!! I will have to wait too much just for... KAMI, won't even think about that... But I don't think the ages are the same as before, after all, now Sano is 2 years older than me, I am just 3 years older than Misao, and Megumi is my age, so you must be like my age too, or at least that's what I hope. Haven't I waited too much?? I need to see you... I am going crazy...

Is she still doing kendo? I am still doing it. Of course no more swords, but I still have my sakabattou and it is secure in my apartment. I can't believe that man sold it to me thinking that it was a failure because it was a reverse sword, he obviously stole it. Moron. If he just knew that it was made in the Bakumatsu no Doran he wouldn't have sold it to me so cheap, but who am I to tell him that?

Where are you? I miss you Kaoru... you promised me that we will be together, and I believe you. Kaoru I am waiting for you! God, what am I gonna do if I never find her? No, better not to think of that.

And the classes will began in three days. How I am supposed to study if I can't stop thinking about you?

After all the first reason I moved to Tokyo was to look for her. The university was just an excuse. Of course I'll study, but I had visit every single dojo in Tokyo, and there aren't any clues of you. Damn it Kaoru... if you are hiding from me!! I will, I will, I will... kiss you and then tie you up so you would not get away again... What the hell am I thinking???!!! I am crazy, that I am!

Kenshin got up heavily, he had used all the things he could think of to look for Kaoru, he wasn't very good with computers but Megumi had told him a month ago that if you are searching for something the Internet is the best way to find it.

Well -Kenshin thought- you were wrong Megumi. I can't find Kaoru, and I don't know were else to look, I don't know her lastname, I don't know her name, I don't know her age, I don't know where she lives, or what she does, if she is studying or not, if she is in school or in the university, I don't even know if she is in Japan at all.

I think I will never find you, Kaoru...

Kenshin turned off the computer and went out of the room. He walked slowly to the bathroom at the end of the corridor and when he was going to open the door he heard the voice of his sister clearly.

"I don't know what he has Akira. He has been in his room almost every day since he came to Kyoto weeks ago. In his room or in the library, I don't understand why." said a woman with brown hair tied in a down tail. She was worried and sad, but there was a twinkle of happiness every time she looked at the man across her.

"Don't worry Tomoe. You know that Kenshin had always liked being alone when he wants to think." answered the man smiling at her and watching how she cut the vegetables she would use for dinner that night.

"That is true, but" said Tomoe "Do you remember Sanoshiro? He called to tell me to have a look at Kenshin because he had been more distracted than normal lately. I didn't take that seriously, but I think that I was wrong. Something isn't right with him. He isn't sick. He's ... like... desperate and sad. Do you think you can talk to him, you have always been good friends."

"Love, I really don't think that he will talk to me if he doesn't talk with his best friend. But I will try. Do you think we can persuade him to go out tomorrow? After all, his vacation will be over soon. We can even invite Misao-chan. They study together and they are good friends, ne?"

"Well, yes I think so."

"I don't understand why he wanted to come here for vacation, he had never done that before in our five years of marriage."

"Six anata, we had been married for six years."

"Six? Wow, time goes fast! How old is Kenshin?"

"He is 20. When we got married he was 14."

"Oh yeah, I remember now, what I don't know is how we got married so quickly. Just a month after Kenshin made me meet you."

"It was strange. Kenshin had always been very protective of me. But when you came to my home to ask my parents for my hand he was the only one who agreed with our marriage. "

"Do you remember what Kenshin said in our wedding? 'I know that you two were born for each other, I knew it when I first met you Akira in Kyoto, and I knew then and there that I must introduce you to my sister...' and he was right, ne Tomoe?"

"I had never told anyone this before but the first time I saw Kenshin, when my mother and I moved into the house of

Kenshin's father, the same day my mother and his father got married, he took me aside and began to cry saying he was sorry, that he never wanted to do what he did, and things like that. I didn't understand but I held him tight and whispered to him that everything was fine, that I didn't blame him for anything, that I forgave him. Since then he always protected me despite the fact that I was seven years older than him. And now that mom and his dad are dead, I am his only family. I wish I could help him, but he doesn't want to tell me anything."

"I ask myself if there is someone who can understand what is going inside that red head of his... even Sanoshiro doesn't know what's going on with him. Would there ever be a person he could trust with everything? He keeps too much to himself...Do you think his problem could be... well...?"

"What? Tell me Akira."

"Well, a woman?"

"A woman? I don't know. I suppose he had some girlfriends, but I am not sure. I have never met anyone, not that I expect it, but..."

"I think we are just inventing motives, we should ask him, I will try to talk to him tonight at dinner, if he eats dinner..."

"Thanks love."

'Tomoe-neesan is worried, and Akira-san too' thought Kenshin while going back to his room. 'But nothing is wrong with me, I am just sick of searching for a special girl for a year in all of Tokyo and don't have any clue about her. Not even her name. But I can't give up. She promised me that we will be together, and I believe her, with all my heart. I KNOW that she is out there looking for me too. At least, that's what I hope...I could have stayed in my apartment in Tokyo, but with Sano in the city I wouldn't be able to search without him suspecting. He noticed that something strange was happening to me, but DRUGS? I can't believe he really thought that I was into drugs...

He sat again in front of the computer but he didn't have any more ideas. He began looking again in some of the books he had borrowed from the Kyoto Library when he heard the soft footsteps of his sister.

"Itouto!" she called from outside his bedroom. "Dinner is ready".

"Hai Nee-san" answered Kenshin, "demo, I am not hungry, maybe I'll eat later..." he wasn't in the mood for fake smiles and 'daijoubu's'.

Tomoe looked at the locked door of her little brother and sighed. There was nothing that she could do about it if Kenshin wanted to stay there, and she knew it.

The days passed quickly and neither Tomoe or Misao could take Kenshin from his room, and the day came when he had to say goodbye to Tomoe and Akira. When the plane arrived in Tokyo he took a taxi to his apartment and tried to sleep, without results, because he couldn't stop thinking about a certain girl with black hair and shining blue eyes.

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Tokyo - 2001

"Ok Aoshi, here I am, now GO!" said Kaoru to her brother impatiently.

She never thought her brother could be so annoying. At first she had stayed in Aoshi's apartment, it was a big place, but she didn't feel she had enough privacy. She hadn't talked anymore about her dreams with Aoshi, and she had spent time being busy looking for her own apartment. She wasn't scared of living alone, and she thought it was better for her now, spend some time with her self.

"Demo Kaoru, do you really think you wouldn't need something more? Remember that Tokyo is a-"

"...dangerous city, blah, blah, blah. MOU! Aoshi! You haven't stopped repeating that since I moved in. I have all I need. Thanks for accompanying me to buy groceries and all, but I think it will help me to be alone for a while. If something happens I'll call you, ok? After all, your apartment is less than five minutes away. GO NOW!"

Kaoru had put up a hell of fight with him to win her independent privileges. At first he didn't want to let her go, but he had to admit that she was right. She needed some time to think and ease her self, but that didn't mean he would let her win so easily. He knew from the beginning that he was going to lose. He knew his imouto well enough to know that once she set her mind to something, nothing would make her change it. At least he convinced her to choose an apartment near his own.

So in no time they found a nice apartment in a new building with two bedrooms, bath, kitchen-living room in the third floor, and it was just two blocks from Aoshi's place.

Kaoru started to push Aoshi outside her apartment, then she closed the door and sighed.

"Kaoru lock the door," said Aoshi from the other side of the door.

"MOU!!!" screamed Kaoru but she did what he told her. Then she turned around and smiled. It was late and it was her first night alone in her first apartment. Next day classes will began.

'At last...' she thought. 'There is nothing to be afraid of, I am an expert in self-defense and now that I think of that, I could look for a job in a dojo. No. No no no no no no. I will not think about you, do you hear me? No sweet redheaded men or warm violet eyes for me... MOU! I hate you Hayashibara Kaoru! This is what you call force of will? It was supposed to be that you were going to forget about him. No more crying. But I miss you sooo much.... MOU!!! Better think of something else, being busy helps. I will take a bath, that's it. A hot bath to ease tension...'

She began to prepare her bath when the phone rang.

"Moshi moshi?" she asked. It was Aoshi who had gotten to his apartment in less than two minutes.

"Mou! Aoshi, you just left. Couldn't you wait five minutes before checking up on me?"

"Kaoru, I didn't want to check on you. I just called to tell you that I called Otousan and I gave him your number. He must be calling you now, so oyasumi nasai imouto. Take care." Then he hung up the phone.

In no time the phone rang again. It was her father this time.

"Kaoru, your brother told me that you convinced him to let you live on your own"

"'Tou-san! You told him not to let me move? But you knew I wanted to live alone for a while."

"Look chibi, even if I agreed to let you move to Tokyo, that doesn't mean that I would let you do with your life what you wanted. You are still my daughter, and I have talked to some people I know in Tokyo so they would keep an eye on you. I don't want parties there after 12, and don't you dare spend the night with a boy in there either or my agents will certainly shame you. Do you understand?'

"HAI, CAPTAIN HAYASHIBARA HAJIME, sir, may I go and take a bath now sir? "

"Yeah... how fun chibi. There are too many ahous in Tokyo who will think a little girl living on her own is easy. I don't want ahous in the family, do you understand?"

"Tou-chan! I am going to be well. You know I can defend my self. Don't worry, and I am not planning to have a relationship right now."

"... that's exactly what all girls say... Take care Kaoru," he said and then hung up.

'Well at least I know now from where my niisan got his paranoid ways... what the hell is this??'

Next to her was a little notebook that she brought to take note of phone numbers. But several pages were now written with her brother's calligraphy.

"Emergency numbers, police department, the Central Hospital, the Tokyo Hospital, more hospitals the National Force? AOSHI!!! You are completely nuts!!"

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Ok. I hope you like it. Down here are some aclarations!

1. Kenshin didn't have dreams. He remembers all his past life clearly.

2. Tomoe is Kenshin's older sister and she is married with Akira, the man Kenshin killed when he was Battousai and left the first part of the "X" in his face.

3. Hajime Saitoh, Mibu's wolf, third captain of the Shisengumi is the father of Aoshi and Kaoru.

Poor Kenshin!

Please REVIEW!!!!!!