Even though it should be.

Often, Norway thought, when faced with a problem, restating the facts helps. He looked down at the paper in front of him.

· 6:00, woke up

· 6:10, noticed changes after a cup of coffee

· Waited 1 hour, no change

The list was simply not helpful. A quick glance at the clock told him he would be late for work if he did not leave soon. He hated calling in sick, it made him feel like a slacker, but he did not have another option. He might have gotten away with it a decade earlier, told them he was an assistant, or something to that effect. However, the security was tighter after 22. July, especially since he suddenly was considered a very important person. Or maybe it was because it took so long to locate him in the immediate confusion after the attack…

Anyhow, the result was the same, someone was bound to notice his change of gender, and either stop him, or bring him in for… Questioning? He had no idea what they would do. Calling in sick, he decided, was a decent short-term solution. E-mailing England and Romania would also be a good idea, in case they had messed up something. There was not much more he could do. Had he been in one of his older houses he would have looked through books on magic, but his Oslo apartment lacked the proper aura for such activities.

Going outdoors was not an option, not until he had proper clothing. Hopefully that would not be necessary, though he would have to find a belt for his trousers, and something to tie up his newly acquired assets with. Also, a bigger shirt, lest he pops a button. He shuddered, and immediately regretted it as the lumps jiggled. This body was extremely uncomfortable, how in all days* did half his population put up with this for their entire lives?

After the messages were sent, he spent ten minutes convincing the government that his illness had no effect on the nation at whole. Then another fifteen reassuring his secretary that everything was indeed fine, and that no, his voice was completely normal, and any change was probably due to the sickness. When the call ended, he had no illusions about her believing him. Bless the lady, but she was a very motherly woman, and scarily adept at reading him. It would not be above her to trop up at his apartment to make sure he was taking care of himself and eating enough good food. Normally, he would not turn down a home-cooked meal, but desperate times call for desperate actions.

He was halfway through the second pot of coffee when England's reply came. The Brit denied having done anything, and suggested he ask the "bloody idiot of a Romanian". The Romanian's message ticked in about one cup of coffee later, and boiled down to the same. Not me, probably the other guy. Which did help him cross them off the list of suspects, assuming this was not a natural phenomenon, but he would have preferred one of them being the culprit.

There were a few other nations who believed in, or knew of magic, but none, to his knowledge, who practiced it. Belarus had the Sight, but had not shown any aptitude towards the Arts. Iceland had his demons and folkloric beasts, but cared not for the rest. The US did presumably only have the Sight on All Hallows Eve, and was much too terrified by the notion of the supernatural to be considered. Both Romania's and England's families practiced magic, but were unlikely to try anything like this. He had his suspicions about Canada's abilities, but again, he was unlikely to do something like this.

Overall, not very helpful. Without knowing exactly, or even approximately what happened, he could not do anything about it, at least not until he had more knowledge about exactly how far the changes to his body had been. The non-magical equivalent would be prescribing random doses of medicine to treat a symptom, without knowing what sickness it was, nor knowing all the symptoms. Essentially, he would run the risk of doing the magical equivalent of assuming a headache means brain tumour, and initiate an open brain surgery with no concrete proof. Besides, like combining different drugs, casting several curses on the same person can have unexpected side effects.

If the person responsible was not a nation, and assuming humans either do not know enough magic, or lacks knowledge of his existence, then the natural conclusion would be that the offender was a mythological or folkloric in origin. Also, the field of suspects could probably be narrowed down to Norse mythology and Scandinavian folklore, and even further by eliminating any person or creature unable to attain magical powers.

Unfortunately, this left quite a large number of creatures, a number that was not brought down by eliminating anyone he had not angered at least once during his lifetime. Let's be realistic. He had been a wild youth raised by himself during the Viking Age, an era in which he had technology and skills superior to all others around him, apart from Sweden and Denmark, and together with them he ruled the sea. Unlike his fellow Scandinavians, he was not all that interested in land or colonies, in fact, just about everything he did was for money and adventure. Under such conditions, pissing off people is quite easy. Also, fun.

Norway sighed and refilled his cup again, preparing another pot of coffee before picking up his cup and leaving the kitchen. Moving around was awkward, it made the physical changes painfully obvious. Moreover, as he discovered when he looked down into a drawer, his hair had grown long enough to get in his eyes, and when he straightened again it brushed by his shoulders. By the time he had found finished his cup of coffee, found a too-large shirt, a bandage, a belt and made his way into the bathroom, his hair had grown another ten centimetres (around four inches, for those who prefer Imperial metrics).

The person in the mirror was not him anymore. Everything else had faded away when he caught a glimpse of himself in that accursed truth-teller. Tunnel-vision, a fascinating phenomenon, as is detachment. It was a bit like watching a muted video of someone playing a game in first-person view. The arm was moving, logically it was his, and thus his brain exercised some degree of control over it, but he could not consciously affect his actions. He watched it fumble around, before it got hold of a pair of scissors and chopped off the offending hair. Looking down at the hair that had fallen in the sink, he noticed that the ends were much darker than the new-grown hair. It probably held some significance, but at that point the world, sounds, smells, sensations, returned to him all at once, and he was made acutely, excruciatingly aware of how exhausted he was.

Shaking, feminine hands, his hands, dropped the scissors to the floor. The clattering sound of them hitting the tiles rang unnaturally loud in the too-bright room. His heart jumped at the sound, and beat a frantic rhythm. His breath picked up pace to match that of the heart, and his vision narrowed. As panic set in, he fled for the safest place he knew, unsteadily crashing into two walls while making his way to the bedroom. Once there, he staggered towards the unmade bed and made a pathetic attempt at launching himself in under the covers. In the end, he crawled into the bed, clumsily dragged the duvet over his head and kicked it sluggishly in place until his legs and feet were covered as well.

-:- -:- -:- -:- -:-

Notes:

The expression "in all days" is marked with a star, because "i alle dager" is a Norwegian expression equivalent of "what the heck" and "what in the world", and expresses confusion or disbelief.

I've mentioned Canada, because of course he remembers Canada. Come on, the World Championship in hockey was what, a month ago? Our team might not be too good, but we can certainly cheer on the Swedes, unless they are playing against Iceland or us, that is.

If the second half of this chapter confused anyone, it can be explained quite easily. It's simply the effects of trauma. According to my source, trauma can happen when an event occurs suddenly, and the person it happens to feels unprepared and helpless. It can worsen if the traumatised person feels alone, or has experienced traumatic events earlier in their life. Source: cascadebh com/behavioral/trauma/signs-symptoms-effects (8/6-17)

Author's Note:

This was supposed to be up on Sunday, obviously it wasn't. Sorry about that, but it couldn't really be helped. As a band-aid on the wound (now how do you put that in English, someone please help me) this chapter is twice as long as the last. I think I may be able to update every second week or so, but no promises. So... yeah.

I'm gonna go back to the crime/thriller thing. "Midnattssol", new Swedish-French thriller. I recommend it, if you can find it.

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-Shrizyne