A/N - I don't want to spoil the chapter in any way but just want to put a mild warning that it contains a subject that may bring a bit of emotion with it. It's written from personal experience and I shed a tear or two writing it. It's nothing graphic or overly descriptive but just wanted to make you all aware. xxx
The atmosphere in the McCord kitchen was almost tangible. Elizabeth was leaning against the side, Henry was staring at her, hoping to get some answers and Maureen was glancing between them wondering if she should speak up or stay quiet, deciding on the latter for the time being.
"I really don't like the sound of this at all. Do you know what this is all about Maureen?" Henry couldn't quite comprehend his sister and his wife speaking to each other, let alone having something going on he was unaware of. It just didn't make any sense.
"It's not my place. I think maybe we should head to the hotel and leave you to talk." Maureen tried escaping from the room but was stopped in her tracks by Will blocking her exit.
"Has the party moved out here? They do say the kitchen is the hub of the house. You all look very serious." Will wasn't best known for his diplomacy and usually said the very worst thing at the worst time.
"Will…Not now." The glare from Elizabeth was enough to send her brother out of the kitchen with his proverbial tail between his legs.
"Elizabeth, can you please tell me what's going on. Are you alright?" The look of concern in Henry's eyes was the very reason she had never spoken up. It's the reason she had begged Maureen to keep quiet and it was killing her now.
"I'm fine Henry. Everything's fine. Let's go back and see our guests and we'll talk later, okay?' She moved towards him and gave his hand a squeeze, knowing only too well she'd merely managed to buy herself a matter of hours, if that.
The rest of the evening was a rather subdued affair. Elizabeth tried to engage with her guests but could feel Henry's eyes on her constantly. He barely said two words and his lack of communication was becoming fairly obvious. Will and Sophie wanted to get Annie home to bed but Will had a few words for his sister as she was seeing them out.
"What's going on? Are you two fighting?" For all of their bickering and sibling squabbles, Will felt fiercely protective of his sister. "Do you need me to stay?"
"It's nothing, don't worry about it. We'll be fine… It will all be fine…. Everything's fine."
"I'm not sure who you're trying to convince Lizzie but if you say the word 'fine' once more I'll go and ask Henry myself."
"Don't you dare. Go home and get little miss to bed and I'll call you tomorrow. Oh, and Will… thanks for coming today."
As she shut the door, Elizabeth leaned back against it, her head making a thud as it connected with the panel. She really wanted the day to be over so she could crawl into bed and hide under the duvet. But there was a conversation looming that she knew Henry wouldn't let her run away from and the anticipation was nauseating.
After another uncomfortable 40 minutes or so, Maureen forced her siblings out of the door. Having been part of the current situation, she wanted to be as far away from it as possible. Although, they were due to return the following day for brunch which was not the most appealing of prospects.
The kids filtered up to bed one by one, finally leaving Henry and Elizabeth alone in the kitchen.
"Are we going to talk now or are you going to try and avoid this forever? I need to know what's going on Elizabeth."
"I'm tired and I need to get out of these clothes. Of course we'll talk but can we please do it in the comfort of our bedroom? You know you find my pyjama's sexy." Her attempt at lightening the mood a little fell on deaf ears as Henry trudged up the stairs.
Their bedroom had always been the place where most conversations took place. The sad ones. The funny ones. The erotic ones. But mostly the serious ones. It was as if once that door was closed, they were completely stripped bare. Emotionally and more often than not, physically when passion did it's thing. But that wasn't an option. Not tonight. Not when they had things to discuss.
Elizabeth busied herself changing into her nightwear and removing her make-up. She purposely took her time, which wasn't lost on Henry who seemed to be getting somewhat agitated. He was starting to pace and as soon as Elizabeth shut off the bathroom light, the words tumbled out of his mouth faster than he could stop them.
"Did you cheat on me? Was there someone else Elizabeth? I don't care if it was last week or 5..10..20 years ago. I just need to know. Did my sister catch you having an affair?" The shock on his face as he spoke the words was reciprocated by Elizabeth who stood looking at him, open mouthed.
"NO! I have never cheated on you. From the moment we first started seeing each other back in college to this very moment, It's only ever been you Henry." She wanted to move towards him and find comfort in his arms, but there was such an awkward feeling between them, she didn't feel able. She found that more upsetting than Henry actually entertaining the notion she'd ever cheat.
Henry nodded as if deep in thought "Then whatever it is, we'll work it out. But I need you to tell me what's going on. Why are you keeping secrets from me? And how the hell is Maureen of all people involved?"
Elizabeth moved to perch on the edge of the bed. She'd played out this conversation many times over in her head, each time being sure she'd tell Henry. But each time came and went and she kept it to herself.
With a deep, steadying breath Elizabeth began telling Henry the only thing she'd ever purposely kept from him.
"Do you remember the first time you got deployed and how devastated I was that you'd be gone for Christmas?" Henry nodded his recollection and she continued. "I went to stay with your parents over the holidays. I was so unsure where I wanted to be, but your mom was insistent and it felt nice to have someone looking out for me."
Henry sat next to her on the bed and noticed the glistening in her eyes. It was a sight he had always hated so much. How that mesmerising sparkle could be clouded by tears.
"I knew when you left you wouldn't make it home for Christmas or new year, you'd only been gone for 3 months so we both knew we'd have to spend it apart. That didn't make it any easier though and I felt so lost."
Henry was back up on his feet again "Are you about to tell me that you fooled around with someone or kissed them or god knows what else? Because I still regard that as cheating. The thought of another mans hands on you…Jesus Elizabeth."
"Henry, please sit down. Yours are the only hands to have been on my body. Your lips are the only ones I've kissed. You're the only person who's ever had my heart, And…. and.. " Elizabeth's voice was starting to shake, pure emotion taking over. "Yours is the only baby I've ever lost." Her head dropped as she uttered the words she'd kept silent for too many years.
Henry's brain was a step or two behind but as the information filtered through he finally realised what Elizabeth had said. "Wait… WHAT?" He sat back down and turned his body towards her "I don't understand. When? How? Elizabeth?" All coherent thought seemed to have escaped him and he suddenly felt very lost, as if he were floating out to sea at an alarming rate.
"I started feeling out of whack a few weeks after you left but I was an emotional wreck. I spent my days either crying or thinking about crying and I missed you so much it physically hurt, so I just figured that was the issue." Elizabeth was annoyed that her eyes were filled with tears. It had been so long ago, how could it still get to her?
"Did you know you were pregnant before… You know… It happened?" Henry's brain was filled with questions but he was mindful enough not to fire them at her all at once.
Elizabeth nodded. "Only for a week though. I kept putting it all down to stress but my shirts were feeling snug across my chest and I had this incessant metallic taste in my mouth. So just before I drove to your parents for the holidays, I took a test and the two lines turned pink pretty quick."
"We were always so careful. You never missed a pill… Did you?" Henry knew it was irrelevant but words were falling from his mouth faster than his brain could stop them.
"No… But I did take antibiotics for an ear infection. And with your imminent deployment, we were pretty active in the bedroom Henry. God… do you remember those days?" A tiny smile crept across Elizabeth's face at the memory, only for it to fall away as her mind crashed back to the present and memories of a different kind.
"We've always been pretty good together, huh." Henry rubbed his hand across his face. He was trying to comprehend something Elizabeth had known for most of their lives together and he didn't know where to start. He looked at her, hoping she'd fill in the blanks.
Elizabeth continued. "I thought about telling your mom when I got to Pittsburgh but I needed to try and wrap my head around it. It's not like it was planned and with you away, the timing was way off and just the idea of it terrified me. So I kept it to myself. Nobody was any the wiser and I enjoyed Christmas with your family."
"Elizabeth… Baby. I'm so sorry." His arm banded around her back, pulling her closer as they sat together on the edge of the bed. "Where does Maureen fit into all this?"
"A few days after Christmas I started having really bad cramps. At first I thought it was something I'd eaten but when the bleeding started I freaked out. Maureen was the only one home and heard me crying. She was amazing Henry. She took me to the hospital and stayed with me while… " Her voice trailed off as her memories of a time long past resurfaced.
Henry gripped her hand so tightly. The onslaught of emotions taking control of his mind. "Is Maureen the only one who knew about this, surely my parents must have noticed something?"
"I didn't want anyone else to know. I thought it was my fault Henry. That I'd done something to cause it. That my doubts had somehow made it happen. I begged Maureen not to tell your parents. So she covered for me while I had the procedure. I couldn't face anyone and I just wanted you."
Henry's face turned pale as the full force of everything started sinking in. "Procedure? What procedure? Oh my god Elizabeth. How could I have not known about this?"
"I was bleeding so much they had to do this d&c thing." Henry could see her features contort at the memory.
"I really don't want to go over this right now Henry… Please."
"Ok baby, we don't have to. Why didn't you tell me when it happened? And why the hell have you kept it to yourself all this time? Jesus Elizabeth, I could have been there for you."
"You were deployed. You needed to focus Henry so you could stay safe and come back to me. I wanted to tell you and figured I'd do so when you got home. But it never seemed like the right time and it just got to a stage that too much time had passed. And what good would it have done then?"
"Why did Maureen bring it up again? Why now? I can't quite get my head around her knowing about this and keeping it a secret for all these years." Nothing usually surprised Henry about his sisters behaviour, yet he was reeling slightly.
"I really don't know. I guess as we get older our minds wander back to the past a little more. She's going through a tough time with Tom and maybe she's just finding things hard right now. Don't blame her Henry, she only did as I asked. I kept this from you, it's on me."
Henry let out a small chuckle. It wasn't that he found their conversation in any way amusing, but the thought of Elizabeth and Maureen actually sharing something… Anything was beyond strange. "Is this why you've let her speak to you that way all these years? Because you were scared she's say something to me?"
Elizabeth smiled at her husband "She was there for me at a time I was scared and alone. She put her feelings for me aside and really stepped up. So no, I wasn't scared she'd blab, I was grateful for all that she did… I still am."
They sat in a comfortable silence for a while. Each of them letting their emotions settle and facing grief old and new for the child they'd lost. And silently thanking the stars for having each other and their 3 incredible children.
Henry gazed at his wife in sheer wonder. She had always been a force of nature and possessed strength that seemed to know no bounds. Yet he was once again looking at her through fresh eyes and an altered perspective. Even at that young age, she had dealt with the loss with grace and dignity.
"I love you so much Elizabeth. You are phenomenal and I'm so lucky you chose me to spend your life with." His own emotions were threatening to spill as he gripped her hand, almost scared to let go.
"I love you too baby. And as far as I know, we chose each other. I think we both have pretty good instincts." Her hand softly stroked his cheek, a simple caress packed full of sentiment.
They climbed into bed and lay in the darkened room. Holding each other that little bit tighter than usual. Their languid kisses holding even more meaning than they had before. And Elizabeth let out a breath that she'd been holding onto for a very long time.
The following day, brunch was a far happier affair and the atmosphere was light and fun. Nobody else knew what had taken place many years before. It was something shared only between a wife, her husband and the sister who showed how love can come in many different forms but is always there when it's needed the most.
Thank you SO MUCH for your comments and reviews. It is so appreciated and I'm happy to know my stories are enjoyed by some. I hope I've done the prompt justice. Enjoy and as always, let me know what you think xx