Chapter One: Ready, Set, Reset
My first few months in this second life can be scratched up to confusing. Maybe it's because I remain in a mixed state of denial and anger but it takes me a fair while to actually get away from the fact that I had died... and well start to realize what's actually going on.
It takes me until my twin, my double or replacement really begins to roll around. I blink everytime he rolls over and offers me a smile with sparkling new teeth. Of course the fact that I'm my own twin isn't the biggest shock. No, the biggest one is down lower. Currently hidden by diapers but still distinctly wrong and off. I'm in the wrong body.
I. Am. Not. A. Girl. Yet I am...
It's horrible and awkward and whenever changing time comes around I focus entirely on my mother's face. On her smile and soft brown eyes and hair. It's amazing, to be able to actually meet my parents. My hahaue and my chichiue, and I suppose to a lesser degree my younger alternate self is also amazing to be around. Even if he mostly drools or laughs and manages to get into more trouble than I ever thought possible.
It's terrifying. And it also kind of puts things into perspective. I was admittedly rather horrible in my previous life, what with the whole trying to take over the world with the moon thing. I was horrible, the worst and I honestly don't think that I deserve this second chance. A twin who mostly just kind of flops over me and drools, or grins at me and parents who do so much just for us.
At least now, I have a chance to really fix things.
And, as I watch my younger alternative self happily chew on a rubber kunai that our mother gave him I can prevent his future fate. I can stop him from making the same mistakes that I made. He won't be going to Madara and then seeing his best friend(and crush) die at Kakashi's hand.
Now if only I could actually get some semblance of control over this new body. It's frustrating honestly, I will admit that I love my parents, our parents. And I'm... grateful for this chance but the lack of control is absolutely infuriating. And terrifying anyone could just dispose of us like this.
At least my twin seems entertained by the whole mess of learning to crawl and feed himself. Shoving stuff into his mouth or tossing food at our hahaue and chichiue who give indulgent smiles and patiently clean up whatever mess that he leaves.
They're awesome. Our parents, I can't help but love them. The way that they both put up with our toddler antics... Yet I know, we don't have long with them. I was an orphan in my previous life, sure I had obaachan, but... it's nothing compared to having my parents. So I bask in their attention. I bask and I do my best to commit the faces and scents of our parents to memory.
Chichiue's strange smoky scent and his rough but gentle hands. The way he keeps his head shorter than most, and his dark eyes and the laugh lines around them. Hahaue's soft hands, and the floral scent that follows her around, the brown hair and brown eyes...
I do my best to engulf myself in them.
To remember.
Aside from that, I am a fussy child. Beyond the annoyance of having my teeth just growing in there is the looming threat of the future. Madara and Zetsu... Danzo as well. I hopefully will be able to scratch my alternate self off that list before anything bad happens. Because I'm here, I'll protect him. He's my otouto after all. As an older sibling it's my duty to protect him and keep him safe. Especially from those people who'll try to corrupt and control him in the future.
Maybe I'll add Orochimaru to the list of potential problems...
Anyway, even though we're not even one yet I'm pushing myself much harder than I ever really did in my previous life... Well not counting my time spent training under Madara. But I don't think that really counts. Crawling is much harder than I ever really expected and my chubby limbs are absolutely no help at all.
Hahaue at least helps a little by making sure that the ground beneath me is soft. And she smiles and lifts me up to hold me in her arms whenever I give up. Meanwhile Obito is happy just lying where he is and only rolling around or waving his limbs in the air over him entertained.
As we're settled in our cribs night after night though I'm forced to listen to words of nonsense from my twin. Some strange language that he repeatedly speaks night after night.
I can almost understand it after a few days... A few nights waking up from nightmares where pain is all I know and I can't breath and screaming does nothing but make it hurt more...
And without fail Obito's talking to himself. Repeating things and staring right at me without blinking. Completely still aside from his moving mouth that speaks in a language that I'm almost sure that I've never heard before. At least, I've never heard it from my own mouth. But, distantly it's familiar to me. There might have been a single encounter with someone who spoke it.
But in the dark of night, with only a faint glow from the moon it's eerie to hear the words that my twin speaks.
In these moments I almost don't want to call him my otouto, because it's scary.
I don't know how to understand it.
And yet, the days following I begin to angrily mutter some of those same nonsense words under my breath as I stand on wobbly legs and tentatively take small steps of my own. They're awkward, and tentative but I'm actually beginning to succeed.
I'm actually walking, kind of anyway...
And with that hurdle crossed I start to pay just a little bit more attention to my twin. My younger alternative self and...
It's strange. He's strange. Aside from the eerie way that he talks at night he's every bit of the infant that he appears. He makes messes and drools on everything. Rolls around and gets into trouble without trying... He doesn't try to walk and the only thing that caught my attention in regards to strange advances in development was the time I caught him using chakra to kind of crawl up to a high shelf...
That kind of explained how he kept ending up in such high places but the how of it kind of escapes me.
Also, he understands.
It's subtle, but as I watch him. He knows, he knows something and he has these small tells. The way that he frowns at the food that we're fed. The way that he's already using chakra(which is also really, really dangerous!). The way that he meets my eyes and just grins.
He's clearly different.
I don't know how to feel about that. I don't know what it is that he knows. What makes him different, because all these things are so small and aside from them... He acts just like an innocent and oblivious child. Laughing and playing, rolling around and happily playing with his rubber kunai.
And then our first birthday comes around.
I'm not exactly excited for the day. My birthdays weren't exactly known for being the best. In fact they always tended to be the worst day of the year...
Then again, this is a new life. A new world. A new chance. Maybe they'll be better. So I brighten up as the party goes on and new faces and people show up to talk about me and my otouto. To say how adorable we both are and smile at us. To talk to our parents. It all seems pretty great and I stare at the man with blue hair, and the silver haired man who practically screams Hatake to me.
I don't know what I was really expecting though. As the night wares on and on it all seems pretty great. Hahaue picks me up and starts talking with her own Aneki, and I allow my eyes to half close and a thumb to snake into my mouth.
I'm... happy I guess. And I really wish that things could stay this way forever.
Well, I also wish that people would stop calling me an adorable little girl, such a precious child. That's going to get really old, really quickly. As soon as I'm able to I will be making sure that people know that I am definitely not a girl. I'm a boy, always have been and always will be.
Distantly I'm aware of Obito resting happily in our chichiue's arms. He almost looks asleep himself.
Today has been a rather long day all things considered.
We deserve a break now. I close my eyes and smile...
Only there's something wrong. With my head so close to Hahaue's chest I'm able to pick up the faintest faltering of the steady beat in her chest. NONonononnnonoonononononononno... My fist tightens in the fabric of her shirt and I can feel my breath catch in my throat this can't be happening.
This can't fucking be happening.
Please, please... Life can't be this cruel. Also no wonder all my birthdays were so horrible. If my first fucking one was celebrated with Hahaue's death.
And then Obito proceeds to also have some kind of fit and that drags me back into reality as I stare at him with terror in my eyes. His eyes have squeezed themselves shut, he's whimpering and then he starts to choke and I can't help it. The faint buzz of emotions, the faint link that we've shared since been born.
I send my desperate plea for him to just live down it.
Still the fit that he's having spurs everyone into action. The next thing I know I'm sitting in chichiue's lap hand fisting his shirt as we stare at my otouto resting in a hospital bed... And slowly he breaths out and then back in his eyes blinking themselves open.
He gives another whimper and wriggles a bit before lifting his head just enough to look in our direction.
It's such a relief, but I still can't keep the fear and terror out of my eyes.
I almost lost two people in one move.
Hahaue's still dead, but at least Obito's recovering from his fit and we'll still have chichiue for as long as he lives. Which will still be shorter than the amount of time it'll take for us to have our second birthday. And I'm going to once more absolutely loathe reality because of that. It's not fair at all.
It's not fair that we should have to be orphans. Especially as I watch Obito play happily with chichiue innocent and smiling even after having a fit...
Even after been rushed to the hospital. I have to wonder though, did I ever have a similar fit in my previous life. I certainly don't remember ever having one... Then again most of my pre-Kannabi memories were kind of shot to hell considering that I had to have half my body replaced by something that was almost plant matter and that's not even considering the damage that the boulder done and the fact that I'm pretty sure I was medically dead for at least a couple of minutes before Madara woke me back up.
There was more luck involved in that entire situation than skill on his part honestly.
And as Obito laughs and snuggles down into the sheets and pillows around him my resolve to keep him safe only strengthens.
Sure he's different and weird, and hell if he doesn't kind of creep me out with the way that he acts at night... But he's still my otouto and my Obito. So I'll do my best to be the best Aniki possible. I'll protect him and shield him and he won't have to worry about anything with me here.
A few months later and it's time to say goodbye to our chichiue for the rest of our lives. The moment that he says to us that he's going to be visiting someone in Uzushiogakure I know... He's not going to come home again. Uzushiogakure will fall, and we're going to be in Obaachan's care for a lot longer than chichiue ever intended.
At least until she eventually joins him in a few years.
But we'll be fine. We'll be fine.
I still sit in the dark curling in on myself in my crib trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill down my cheeks and stain the white sheets I'm sitting atop. I can't quite do it though and I sniff. I sniff and the tears fall staining my cheeks and the sheets as I wipe my sleeves over my face and hope that I haven't woken my twin up.
Hope that I haven't disturbed him from where he's sleeping in his own crib across the room.
He shifts and sits up looking over at me and my heart sinks. Of course I have... And then he opens his mouth and hell...
"Sorry..." no fucking way! There's no way that he can just do that. I straighten and stare my own coal eyes meeting his onyx ones. He doesn't take the word back though and I can almost see it hanging in the air between us. He can't do that, he can't mean that. He's not at fault for anything here. Before I can try to explain that to him though he continues "Still Sorry..."
And then Obito's shoved his fist into his mouth and I know. I won't be able to get him to do anything more.
He won't elaborate, he won't explain. He's just apologized for something that he couldn't possibly understand and it chills me right to the core.
I'm not certain that this isn't Hell.
Not anymore. Then again, in many ways reality is worse than Hell... and somehow that makes me curl up and roll over purposefully not facing my twin as he begins to once more speak those nonsense words into the night.
Yet now I'm able to understand more. It's chilling terrifying and I don't quite know what to expect or what I'm getting into.
It's said that in Hell there's at least no one who's innocent, who can get caught in the crossfire. So reality is worse, and right now... I'm actually kind of hoping that this is hell. And not reality, because suddenly, my twin is a lot scarier than I ever was... even when I was a S-Class Nukenin.
My name... My name was once Uchiha Obito, and now... in this new life it's Uchiha Tomoko.
And I don't know if I'll be able to change anything. But, I'll try because, I need to prove to myself that I can do better.