Help 2 / 5

Title: Help – Rambling and Knowing

AN - I was going to wait until I got more reviews and then I realised how ridiculous I was being - I didn't write this because I wanted reviews, I wrote this purely because I had a story to write and my hands were itching... I wrote it because I enjoy writing. So here is the next part, and there will be one a day until I finish posting the story. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. (And thankyou for the reviews I have recieved they definitely made my day.)

Thanks again goes to Itsallcomealive bor the beta reading!

"So do you live around here?"

"What?"

"You said you run here every day… you must live around here."

"About 2 miles North East."

Callie thought about for a few minutes.

"Isn't that forest?"

"Yep."

"You live in the forest?"

"Yep."

"Don't tell me you are one of those live-in-tree types. I had to fix every bone in a woman's body once because she was bulldozed out of a tree. Please tell me you don't poop in a bucket."

"What?"

"Does you're friend come along and clean your bucket and send you up food?"

"I live in a cabin?" She says not sure where the woman in front of here is taking the conversation.

"Oh… good. Wait! You live in a cabin by yourself?"

"Yeah."

"You don't have an array of axes or explosives do you?"

"I'm not an axe – murderer or some sort of terrorist bomber type if that is what you are alluding to."

"Why would you live so isolated? Don't you miss your family?"

"What are you doing out here?" Callie noticed the abrupt change of subject and winced internally. 'Obviously a saw point' she told herself.

"I'm out hiking with my friend."

"So where is your friend?"

"Hopefully speaking with the police and organising someone to find us."

"When did you get separated?"

"About five days ago."

"You've been walking for five days? You didn't think to maybe sit down and wait for him to find you?"

"I did, for about 3 seconds. Then I decided to try and find him."

"Let me guess he has the map and the compass?"

Callie winced again, this time at the stupidity of her actions. She knew now that she should have waited in the same spot until Mark had found her, which he would have. Now she had walked for 5 days, there was a lot more area that she could possibly be in and the search for her would be a lot more difficult.

"Yeah, but at least I had the food." She smiled a little. "So how long have you lived out here in woods, all alone like the Unabomber?"

"I've lived here 4 years."

"Four years? Whoa. Do you get to see many people?"

"I head into the city once a week, spend a couple of hours in there and come home. I see enough people."

"Do you have a job?"

"Am I interviewing for something?"

"Sorry, that was rude wasn't it? My mouth runs away with me. A lot. Like when I told the chief I was a rock star – that he'd rue the day, or when I told Mark and Sloane that I would help with her baby…." Realisation crosses her face, and vulnerability creeps into her voice. "Or like now, when I'm telling a complete stranger my whole life story."

"I work as a Medical Advisor to a TV show. I can do all my work over the internet."

"Really which TV show?"

"Uh… you know White's Anatomy?"

"Really I love that show! That's pretty cool." Callie realised how excited she was coming across, suddenly downplaying her excitement, so not to come across as complete stalker. "You know, for the axe-murdering type to have a day job."

"It pays the bills."

"So were you a doctor?"

"Hmm?"

"Well you are a medical advisor… you must be a doctor of some sort."

"I'm not a doctor. Not anymore. I'm just a writing assistant."

"So you were a doctor."

"A million years ago."

Callie noticed the hurt cross the smaller woman's face and decided to drop the subject. Her energy levels were dropping and she could feel the sheath of sweat formed all over her body. She moved slightly to stretch before realising that her wound must have re-opened. She was able to suppress her cry of pain, balling her fists tighter than she had ever before. The sharp intake of air did not go unnoticed by the blonde.

"Are you ok?"

"You know… I'm fine. Fine."

"It's just - you look upset."

She shook her head, both to indicate that she was fine and to shake the vague feeling of familiarity from her words.

"Calliope Robbins you get down here this instant!"

She looked up at the blue eyes and knew in an instant that when Callie Torres had made her promise to live, to live for her, she had made the right decision. The little girl that Callie had spoken about, dreamt about, loved without knowing, that little girl was smiling innocently back at her with dimples and blue eyes, both of which only serving to reinforce the appearance of innocence. Karma is Karma, she told herself thinking about Callie's words. Her own blue eyes and dimples had helped her wiggle her way out of trouble when she was a kid, her father melting at the sight of them. Karma indeed. The giggle of the four year old filled the room and despite her disapproval of the small girl jumping on the couch all Arizona could do was smile. When the tiny brunette jumped one last time before falling into the blondes arms screaming 'Mommy!', she could no longer keep her own laughter from filling the room.

This small package in her arms was the greatest gift she had ever been given. The tiny girl was her salvation, given to her by a stranger in the woods.

"Do you want kids?"

The blonde's eyes nearly popped out of her head.

"No…no. Nope, not me."

"I always did. Always, even before I was married."

"You're married?"

"Was. I married a safe person. I thought that he was safe. He was a good man and I thought that meant he would be a good husband. Turns out the safest thing I ever did, was also the most dangerous."

"You are not still married?"

"No. Apparently I'm not a supermodel."

"You are hot. I'd totally do you." Callie laughed a little.

"Ever heard of Bethany Whisper?"

"Oh SHE is hot."

"My point exactly."

"Huh?"

"I'm realizing now that she is more my type then he was, but it doesn't matter because either way Bethany Whisper slept with my husband."

"Bethany Whisper slept with your husband?"

"Yeah, apparently the Bethany Whisper ads were a way of putting herself through med-school to become a surgeon. She was best friends with my dead ex-husband. Toward the end of the marriage I just wanted a kid so my husband would think about me and not Izzie Stevens."

"That's why you wanted kids? So that your husband would think about you?"

"No, that's why I wanted kids with George. Doesn't matter anyway they are both dead."

"You didn't like have them killed or anything?" Callie laughed. The pout on her the blondes face was enough to make her laughter continue.

"No. Izzie, or Bethany as you know her, died of skin cancer, and he was hit by a bus saving a woman. The same day actually."

"Wow."

"Yeah, it's kind of romantic actually."

"Romantic? He cheated on you and then dies the same day as her and you're all roses are red?"

"They were best friends. He was a good man, despite his faults. It not like I was completely blameless in our break-up and I have cheated before so… I think it's nice. They'll have each other. I can understand if you think it's weird."

"No… I was just thinking, how much you seem to care. You care like crazy… I just… So you really want to be a Mom?"

"Yeah, I really do. I've always had this vision of a little girl, with bright blue eyes, my hair and skin but with big bright blue eyes. I had this feeling that George wasn't the one because of his eyes. When I started dating Erica I thought that maybe she was, she has nice eyes… they tended to be a little more grey than blue, they only got really blue when she was about to…" She realized that a stranger probably didn't want to know details about her sex-life.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa… hold up! You've based your type on some kid that you've imagined. You know that's kind of sick, right?"

"No I didn't base my type on the kid at all… I married a man who I thought I loved, even though I knew that I wasn't going to get my little girl out of it. It's just a dream I guess…What about you… What's your type?"

"I guess I would have to say brunettes. Every girlfriend I have ever had since Joanne, my first girlfriend, has been brunette. My last girlfriend would tell you that because I have control issues my type is women who are weaker and less intelligent than me. She said that's why they never work because I need an equal – a challenge."

"Shrink?" She asked with a knowing smile

"Of course." Arizona said with a laugh.

"When I dated a psychologist she told me that I was using sex as an escape – a coping mechanism were her words. That was after she stalked me for three weeks. What a psycho."

"Yeah but she was a correct psycho huh? I know how much it annoyed me when Karen was right. I guess being a know it all type A – it just… got to me. As annoying as it is to admit she was right."

"Crazy psycho girl was right too. She was the beginning of mine and Mark's no sex pact."

"No sex pact? Do I want to know?"

"No sex until we find a woman we want to have out babies." She paused and thought about what she had just said. "Separate women and separate babies… for the record."

"Who is Mark?"

"Mark Sloan is my best friend. He was my sex-friend for a while there… we were never really more than that. He helped me to see my attraction to women. He is a good guy. He is my hiking friend, who is hopefully looking for us now."

"And you have a no sex pact? With each-other?"

"Yeah. We both are not allowed to participate in sexual activities with each other or anyone else until we think the person we are dating may stand a chance at being 'it'."

"Sexual activities?"

"For Mark it's just sex, but with me… no kissing. Kissing leads to sex."

The blonde laughs.

"What are you like 12?"

"What?" The brunette says defensively.

"Did you hear yourself? I've worked with kids that sounded more mature than you just did."

"Yes but it's the way I have been lately. I have been a… a … woman-whore? That is not a word. I guess it's just a whore when it's woman. I have been a whore lately. And kissing? Kissing is nice, but lately, with my whoreishness I have been moving too quickly between the kissing and the sex - WAY too quickly. I have rules, like the third date rule – BROKEN. Totally broken."

"So you have stopped sleeping with people until you find someone to have a baby with?"

"It's not quite like that… it's… it's… I just wanted a little girl. I know she would be trouble. Karma is Karma after all, and I was a rotten child. Completely spoilt, I got everything I ever wanted and I was still a rotten kid. I imagined that she would ramble when she got nervous and talk back to me when she thought she was right. I imagined that she would pick up my Spanish ranting and my rapid hand movements and she'd have my temper."

"Bad?"

"Is there any other kind of temper?" She smiled and Arizona laughed. "Lately I've just had this feeling that I wanted to have a baby so badly. I've been thinking about it so much. One of the women at work, Miranda, I spoke to her about having children. She told me I had to stop sleeping with everyone." Callie chuckled at the memory "Then she told me that it was hard, that there was never a good time to have them. She also told me about teaching her son, watching him grow up into a person, even if it was just learning to say words properly. She's the ultimate bad-ass and she is so in-love with her son … I want that and I would really like it if I could find someone to share it with." She sighs and looks up. "What about you? No kids?"

"Really – nope."

"I get that."

"You do?"

"Yeah, you are here in the middle of the woods. Alone. You are either an axe murderer or shutting out something." Before Callie could go on, Arizona interrupted her.

"Thank you Doctor Walden."

"Who?"

"My ex – the shrink."

"Ah… so I'm right huh?"

"Shut up." She pouted before giving up her act and smiling a little. "So you and Mark really want babies… why don't you just have kids together. I mean, you're really good friends – so you love and trust each other, you were sex-buddies – so that part's obviously good, making the whole making babies thing way easier. And you both know exactly what you are getting."

"No. That's just…wrong."

"Well does he have blue eyes?"

"Still just – no." Callie face contorted into an expression of sheer disgust. The blonde laughed.

"Ok, so that's a no then. What about, by yourself?"

"I have the money, I have the flexibility with my job… I just… I always pictured having kids with the love of my life, building a home and a family. Having what my parents had. You know?"

Arizona's smile faded. Yep. She knew. She'd seen it every day as child. She'd heard it every day as an adult, until one day she didn't. The connection her parents had had was something that she had dreamt of getting, the love, the comfort, until one day she had found herself in a world with no connections at all. She knew exactly what Calliope had meant, because she had dreamt of it once too.