Title: Risen From The Ashes
Pairing: Olivia/Natalia Doris/Blake ?/?
Rating: MA for strong language, adult situations, violence, blood, drug use.
Slightly AU most invents remain the same with a few concentrated changes to the Otalia storyline.
Summary: A mysterious stranger comes to town and changes the lives of Olivia and Natalia forever.
Natalia Rivera was tired. So sick and fucking tired of all of this.
And if you tell anyone she just thought that she'd deny it and then pray for forgiveness for lying about it.
It wasn't enough that she had busted her butt day in and day out for her entire life to take care of herself but mostly her son.
It wasn't enough that she had on many an occasion bit her tongue and shackled her pride to work menial jobs that offered little pay and even less respect.
It wasn't even enough that she had to lose Nicky before their lives could ever really begin - losing her son to prison in the process.
Well that last part she'd come to realize was really a blessing in disguise. Not her husband dying part or the part where her son went to prison. But it was what came from it all.
But this…was asking entirely too much of her.
Olivia just had to ask for some of Buzz's chili for lunch didn't she?
Natalia smiled inwardly to herself.
Olivia.
She could now admit that when she'd first me the woman she had found her fascinating. Her sheer presence pulled her in and away from it she couldn't help but to crave more.
Which was why whenever Olivia called her and said those three little words Natalia would drop everything and come running.
"I need you."
It amazed her that Olivia would need anyone. And not only did she admit it…but it was SHE who Olivia had needed.
The months that followed were to be the foundation for the greatest relationship Natalia had ever known…outside of her son of course. But with the new found trust, friendship, and easy banter she and Olivia had gained in one another had come the thing Natalia was now most ashamed of.
Denial.
Denial of what she felt when those mesmerizing eyes locked onto her own. Denial of how happy being able to make Olivia laugh her deep belly laugh few were every privy to hear made her. Denial of why hugs grew more common and lasted even longer. And denial of what it was the simple touch of Olivia's hand to hers did to her skin, nerves…body.
Denial bred desperation and from that desperation came.
Frank.
Pushed by Olivia's jovial (fake as hell) encouragement and her own fear Natalia allowed herself to be swept up into a relationship of sorts with a man she saw as nothing more than a friend. How could she see him as anything more with Olivia around? Besides he was too simple, didn't listen to her very well…or at all, to eager to please, too…well…Frank.
And all the while Olivia without even realizing it was doing everything in her power to sabotage her own plan and to make a case for herself in the matter of Natalia's heart. And so the volleys began.
Frank: Wait for it…Christmas trees.
Olivia: Remember that money you blew on that crap investment? Well I got it all back. The only thing I had to do was give up my dream job and embarrass myself in front of the media in a completely demeaning press conference tinged with lies. Oh and you were never supposed to find out about my sacrifice.
Suffice it to say Frank Cooper never really stood a chance. It wasn't about the money either. Olivia just had a way about her. What Rafe would call a swagger that was all her own. A swagger that seemed to make everything in Natalia's world a whole hell of a lot better. She gave Natalia everything and expected nothing in return. Half the time not even wanting her to know that she had done anything at all. And when she wasn't making Natalia's dreams come true: farmhouse, Mel representing Rafe (Olivia still thinks she got away with that one), and last but not least Emma; she encouraged her, pushed her, stood up for her, protected her, and not so secretly loved her.
It all came to a head the night after Coops' memorial when Frank tried to kiss her while they were packing up his brother's things. She knew exactly what allowing that contact would mean. Natalia was faced with a choice.
The proverbial fork in the road. Left or right. Right or wrong. Frank or Olivia. So she chose. And those steps had led her right back to her own front door. Right back to Olivia.
Surprisingly enough that conversation went much better than Natalia could have possibly expected. Really when was the last time anything with Olivia ever went easily…don't answer that.
"Hey I didn't expect you to be back so early. Olivia had greeted her while trying and miserably failing to discreetly wipe the tears from her eyes as she sat on the couch. Her knees where pressed into her chest and her legs were covered by the throw that usually lay across the back of the couch.
In that moment she had almost lost her nerve. Almost allowed herself to be sidetracked by the pain so evident in Olivia's eyes and so prominent in her heavy voice.
Olivia never could do chipper well…it was always her way of trying to hide something from Natalia. And like all of Olivia's other bullshit Natalia saw right through it.
But the thing that pushed her to act this time. The thing that became more powerful than her own fear was the sight of Olivia after closer inspection.
Clasped tightly in her hands and resting on her thighs was a picture frame Natalia knew well. One she knew held the photo of her, Olivia, and Emma happy and smiling on New Years Eve. Together…as it should be.
Without answering Olivia or even acknowledging the fact that she had even spoken Natalia removed her coat and strode over to the couch. She sat as close to the woman who had become so much to her as her current curled up position would allow.
For a moment she just stared at her and took a long hard look at what her actions - her cowardice had done. Here sat the most dynamic, awe inspiring, confident, beautifully infuriating woman she had even known reduced to crying alone in an empty house over a photograph.
It was time to fix this.
"Natalia what…" Olivia's words died on her lips as Natalia raised a silent hand to stop her.
That was another thing. No one silenced Olivia Freakin' Spencer when she wanted to speak - had something she wanted to say. Further proof that this woman did indeed love her.
Still silent but more emboldened Natalia gently took the picture frame from Olivia's grasp. Allowing herself a glace she noted the happiness of the moment and reverently ran her hand across the smiling faces of her family before sitting it gently on the coffee table in plain view.
A visual aid to bolster her confidence.
Natalia took Olivia's hands in her own and rubs her thumbs across the soft skin of her knuckles. "Okay, I'm gong to say something to you that honestly should have been said long time ago. I need your patience right now. Even though you like to pretend it doesn't exist I know it's there."
Olivia gave her a watery smile while somehow making her sad eyes twinkle with a bit of mirth.
The dichotomy of emotions under which Olivia often operated were mind boggling sometimes. It was part of the enigma Natalia had once found hard to understand.
But the picture was much clearer now.
Puffing out a breath in a failed attempt to remove a piece of hair from her eyes Natalia took that terrifying first step.
"For a long time now I've had these…feelings. Huge, intense feelings that at first I didn't even want to acknowledge."
Olivia's hands began to shake in her own.
In that moment Natalia knew, that Olivia knew, she knew (if that even made sense.) Searching Olivia's eyes Natalia conveyed a silent message.
Please let me do this. Let me say the words we've both been running from yet aching to hear. Let me bring to life our dreams. I'm not running - not this time. Let me tell you I love you.
Releasing one long shaky breath Olivia finally let go of the one small sliver of control she's held on to so tightly for months and nodded her head.
They were both more than ready for this.
Receiving the go ahead Natalia dazzles Olivia without even trying by giving her that radiant smile she loves so much complete with DEAR GOD…dimples.
They both were on the same page for the first time in months. The words had already been shared through their own strange version of mind speak. All that was left to do was speak them. To breathe them into life.
"The thing about these feelings is…I don't want to hide from them anymore."
"No?" Olivia asks in that small, soft, demure little voice that does funny things to Natalia's tummy and (ahem) other area's.
"No. I think I'm more in the basking stage of things," Natalia playfully remarks.
"Basking huh?" Again with that voice. It was going to be the death of Natalia.
"Yeah you know lying out and soaking it in - burying your toes - that sort of thing." They share a soft laugh. The air becoming a little clearer as anticipation began to set in.
"At first I didn't know if they were bad or good. "
Olivia nods her head in understanding as she drops her feet to the floor while not to slyly scooting closer to Natalia.
"Probably a little bit of both?" she asks tucking that cute yet troublesome stray hair behind Natalia's ear. She lets her hand rest on a rapidly warming cheek.
Allowing a small sob to escape. "Oh yeah." A sniffle. " But the thing is I KNOW that there is NOTHING wrong or bad about how I feel."
"You sure about that cause…" Olivia stops herself from finishing the self-depreciating comment Natalia knew was to come. The disapproving frown was enough of a warning.
"I'm so sure. Sure of this. Of us. Of the fact that I am so totally, completely, head over heels in love with you."
Natalia's lips had barely finished speaking those last words before Olivia's was coaxing them into participating in a different activity.
It was the slowest, softest, sweetest, most emotion filled kiss either woman had ever experienced. After the two broke apart gasping for air out of sheer amazement they locked eyes and smiled.
Not to be out done Olivia spoke. A little surprised at herself at how little of that she had been doing throughout the conversation. Maybe all of those people over the years who had told her it was sometimes best to just shut her damn mouth and listen were on to something. Go figure.
And if you told anyone she had admitted that she'd deny it…then punch you dead in the face…HARD!
"Yeah well…I love you too."
Smiles grew wider and the kissing began anew…with gusto.
That was the easy part. And surprisingly enough so was the little spa trip they had taken together. They had relaxed, talked, and yes basked in the simple pleasure of being in each other's presence.
The hard part came later with Rafe getting out of prison (thanks to Mel and Olivia) and finding out about them exactly one hour before Natalia had planned to tell him herself. In hindsight it probably wasn't very smart to be making out like a couple of horny teenagers in plane view outside of The Farmhouse when they damn well weren't. Well…they weren't teenagers anyway.
He had ranted and raged. Made a rather inappropriate remark about an "itch that needed to be scratched" then stormed off to pout to an already wounded puppy.
Which brought Natalia full circle and right back to Frank.
"I mean seriously Natalia what are you thinking? Obviously you're not right? This is Olivia we're talking about. Do you honestly think she's capable of loving anyone but herself…especially someone like you?"
Well that got her attention.
"Yes Frank I do. She is more than capable of loving. She loves her daughters fiercely. And even though he doesn't deserve it with the way he has thanked her for everything she's done for him she loves Rafe the same way. And YES Frank she loves me…more than anyone ever has."
That brought Frank up short for a moment. His fragile pride had taken another shot to the gut.
"What about me Natalia?"
Oh boy, she thought. And here come the creepy puppy dog eyes.
"I loved you. I still do - we could be happy together I know it."
Yep there they were. Ugh…I'm so over this.
"Look Frank I know you think you love me but you can't. You don't even know me…not really. And what little you do know you learned from Olivia." She thought about something. "And what was that supposed to mean - Olivia not being able to love someone like me?"
She was well aware of her own inadequacy issues…she didn't need him to point them out.
"You're good and kind; she isn't even close. It's like you said. Why would she help me - tell me all those things about you if she really cared for you as much as she says she does huh?" He looked like he'd just given the greatest closing argument in history.
Natalia wasn't at all moved.
Is that really the argument you're going to go with Frank? Way to shoot yourself in the foot. Clearly you were on the debate team in high school.
She laughed a little inwardly then chided herself for such and uncharitable thought.
"And what about Rafe? He's hurting with all this. Don't you want him at home with you where he belongs?"
Patience officially lost.
"Don't you dare try to use my son to guilt me into getting your way Frank! Of course I want my son home with ME where he belongs. But, I'm hurting too Frank. I hurt every time my baby boy opens his mouth and spews such HATRED at the person I love. I hurt every time he goes out of his way to disrespect me AND my relationship. No one is keeping him from coming home. No one is stopping him from being apart of his own family but himself. It is none of your business. And yes I am grateful to you for allowing my son to live with you. But don't think that I don't know you have ulterior motives. Every time you dangle him in front of me like a carrot or parade your relationship with him in front of Olivia just to hurt her I see it for exactly what it is. His situation is temporary Frank. When he gets his act together he WILL be coming home and we will begin to mend the damage that has been done to our relationship. But make no mistake Frank…you will NOT be following after him. It's like I said right? His currently living situation is temporary…yours is not."
To most people such an impassioned, fiery, and somewhat hurtful speech coming from one Natalia Rivera would be a shocking surprise.
But right here and now so fed up with spinning her wheels, and sick and tired of having basically the same conversation with this man for weeks now it was exactly what needed to be said.
Frank was left speechless and completely dumbfounded.
It was that moment Buzz returned from the kitchen - lunch order in hand for Natalia.
For once someone in Springfield had perfect timing.
Natalia paid and thanked Buzz avoiding his questioning glances and ignoring juniors shocked ones. She grabbed her order and walked very calmly out of Company.
She had a lunch date with Olivia in her office. She didn't want to be late.