A/N: Thanks for the reviews. Please note the sarcasm. F you all.

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Supposedly, when one is having a good time- everything seems to go too quickly. Being with the Cullens disproved this theory.

I had an amazing time.

And every second seemed to last a lifetime.

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My house is interesting on the weekdays. My mom is usually 'expressing herself artistically' which involves beating the crap out of metal cubes with a sledge hammer and taking a paintball gun to canvas. You may be surprised to know that rich yuppies eat it right up. Right now she's almost never in the house- too busy setting up her new art room (shed). Last week she let me take a peek, and let me just say I think it's beautiful. Each wall is splattered with trillions of glowing colors on a black back drop, and she's working on making stain glass windows. Then she shoved me out and said that 'inspiration had struck' and that I 'impeded her imaginative growth'. My dad was clinically insane…or at least I thought he was. Derek (my dad) was a chronic outdoorsman and insisted that we hunt for our own food. As such he was a carpenter and spent a lot of time cutting shit down…and cutting himself as it turns out. He's already lost two fingers but the man never stops.

When I was a kid I called him 'Hedge' because he was so covered in splinters he looked like a hedgehog.

Despite being a little off their rockers, they were the best parents I could have ever asked for- so when my dad decided to move here to be better surrounded by nature I didn't argue. Much. As you may or may not already know, I do karate. Not only for shits and giggles but because I do it competitively.

And I'm pretty damn good if I do say so myself…..which I do. And so does the rest of the world apparently. As it were, I am a six time World Champ in sparring- and I don't plan to stop winning anytime soon. The only upset I had was that there are no schools* near Forks, so I have to drive 2 hours to Seattle for some second rate place.

Unacceptable.

My only request was that I be allowed to train myself and keep in contact with my instructor so that I could keep my title. So while most people had a laundry room, I had my own dojo. And I now had myself on a six day a week workout schedule. It wasn't hard, and I enjoyed myself…I just didn't want anyone watching my grunt and sweat all over my pretty red/blue mats.

As luck would have it, I had visitors on my third day in Washington. I didn't even suspect a thing…

I was in my zone. Concentrated solely on the target in front of me only dimly aware of the 3oh!3 song pounding behind me. I moved easily, the sports bra and jazz pants snug for maximum flexibility. My glasses were off, and I had finally succeeded in taming my rats nest into a pony tail (though it was a little easier because my hair was soaked with sweat…). Occasionally I'd stop to air drum then continue. It was peace and for a moment I was just like any other girl at the gym; sweaty, tired, sore….not me. I was so intent on what I was doing I didn't notice the two in my room (for it was truly MY room, more so then my bedroom) until my music was abruptly cut off. Confused I whipped around to the doorway leading into my room and saw Alice and Bella gaping at me.

"Oh- My god." The pixie gasped mouth agape. My face aflame I curled up on the floor my hands covering my head.

"What are you doing here?!" I shrieked in the fetal position. They ignored me.

"How, when, what? Why do you dress the way you do when you look the way you do?" Bella shrieked pointing at me, while Alice nodded frantically in agreement. I uncurled from my 'ultimate ball of protection™' and stared at them.

"What do you mean?" Alice scowled at me.

"First off, your knockers are huge and shapely"

"I'm a door?" she ignored me and continued.

"Your body is as firm as a watermelon…"

"Oh my god- are you going to eat me in a fruit salad?!" Bella continued.

"Your ass looks like I could bounce a quarter off it…" I scowled at her.

"Am I fruit salad or military grade?**" I was ignored yet again (I don't exist in this conversation those bitches).

"And it all comes together in a sexy hourglass figure- what the fudge is wrong with you?!" Alice stated before shrieking at me (again…I'm surprised their voices aren't hoarse yet…). Though I suppose she had a right to, I was staggering around clutching at my head in frustration.

"Am I a door? Fruit? What!?" Bella smacked me upside the head, and for a moment those damn birds were back in my vision.

"What the hell are you made of?! Stone?" The two exchanged sheepish looks before glaring at me.

"That's beside the point! The point is a) you're a grade A hottie and b) you dress like Irkle! Heck, if I had boobs like yours I'd walk around topless!" the pixie seethed at me. Turning to look at myself in the wall mirror I honestly couldn't see what she was talking about. That and my clothes were just fine!

As if the pixie knew exactly what I was thinking, she smirked evilly at me. "I'm giving you a makeover." I hissed at her.

"Like hell you are! I'm happy the way I am, and unless an angel falls out of the sky and decrees it must be done, then you'll have to duck tape me down to even start!" Alice blinked sheepishly at me before (surprisingly) backing down.

"Fine, fine…I'll do it later." Her eyes glazed over for a second. "Oh yeah, you'll want a makeover…it's only a matter of time." This time I decided to ignore her.

"Again, I ask what are you two doing here." Bella decided to end my torment.

"We were bored." I hate them sometimes.

"Well I'm busy- what do you want?" Alice started hopping up and down.

"Entertain us!" She was still hopping. So I started to too.

"Oh my gob**! What do you want me to do? Do a trick?" Bella smirked at me.

"Yeah. Now pull a rabbit out of your pants." So I reached into my pants…and pulled out five dollars. She blinked at me.

"…Why is there money in your pants?" I couldn't miss an opportunity like this.

"Second job." Alice started giggling and Bella attempted to fry me like bacon with her eyes. The charade of stupidity was ended by my mom popping her head in.

I don't care if your gay, straight or asexual- my mom is damn sexy. She has this insanely sexy black hair that kind of curls and waves (it goes down to the middle of her back), blue eyes, and these really cute freckles my dad insists on kissing all the time. Which I suppose is cute…if they aren't your parents. It just creeps me out. Currently, she was covered in teal paint with her smock, plaid shirt (like lumber jacks…or Hugh Jackman as Wolverine) and jeans just peaking out.

"I sensed unusual joy in this vicinity. What joke has inspired such joy?" my mom said, voice cool and clear like water. Alice and Bella blinked owlishly at her.

"I just told them about my second job." She smiled serenely at me.

"Oh, so they know you're a stripper? That's nice. Would you all like some tea? I'll go make some." Then she popped out of the room, and could be heard smashing around in the kitchen. Once Alice and Bella had recovered (my mom can be quite disconcertingly calm…) they both looked at me.

"Your mom's got nice hair. Can I play with it?" Alice said, pouting at me. I sighed to myself.

"My mom doesn't believe in the use of 'feminine beauty products'. She says it demeans women. It's why she refuses to wear shoes." Alice looked scared.

"No…shoes? NO!" then she began to fidget and talk to herself, somewhat reminiscent of her performance when we first met. Bella looked almost smug.

"Right on. So she's like a feminist? I can dig that." I mentally slapped myself.

"No. She's not a feminist…she's more of a- god I don't know….naturalist? Yeah, a naturalist. She'll conform when necessary but besides that….she does her own thing. I've never had to 'conform to my parent's misconstrued notions' as she would say. She may look like a space case but don't be fooled! My mom has an IQ of 220 that she hides behind stupidity- it makes her deadly." The two nodded, before Alice piped up again.

"So…is it just your mom?" I shook my head.

"No, my dad's around. In fact…he should be home right about-"I was cut off by the sound of my front door slamming open then closed.

"Damn it Mel! I'm covered in squirrel shit again! God damn rats, fucking dive bombing me with fucking feces- I swear to fucking god I'm gonna bring my shot gun with me next time! Fluffy rats won't know what's comin' to em'!" My dad's rant on squirrels was cut off by my mom's soothing voice.

"Derek. Calm your aura. Sunny has guests over." I could almost see my dad run his hands through his dark hair.

"I'm sorry Mel." Then there was an abrupt silence and I could tell my parents were making out in the kitchen. Alice was gaping yet again.

"I've never heard someone curse so much." Bella snickered at the pixie's gob smacked expression. I mentally sighed.

"My dad was a marine…you could say he picked it up." An 'oh' expression came onto their faces.

"Why don't you guys come to the kitchen with me? The idea of my mom carrying hot liquid makes me nervous" Not checking to see if they were following me, I exited my room and headed to the kitchen.

When I got to the kitchen, I found my dad pinning my mom to the kitchen counter and sucking her face off. For most people this would scar you- but I was used to it by now. None the less, I decided to spare my friends from any further shocks.

"Dad, mom needs that face you know. Besides, my friends don't need to see you sucking at her like a vacuum cleaner." My dad flipped me the bird, but decided to grant my request- and just in the nick of time as it were. Alice and Bella barged into the kitchen, almost as if they were waiting for them to stop… Shrugging sheepishly the two shuffled in and in a manner too graceful for someone slopping into a seat sat down.

An awkward silence filled the room. My dad (who was now sitting at the table with us) coughed into his fist.

"So…you are Sunny's friends?" They nodded. "Oh." In a manner that was supposed to be secretive he bent across the table and whispered. "So…which one of you is her girlfriend?"

"DAD!" My dad ignored me and continued.

"Don't be embarrassed ladies. We've known she's a lezbean for a while. What, with her never bringing boy's home." The girls looked gob smacked.

"First off dad, it's lesbian. Second- I'M. NOT. GAY." My mom floated over to my dad's chair, practically sitting on him.

"Oh honey its okay! We'll love you even if you want to bang women!" If this was a cartoon, steam would be pouring out of my ears.

"MOM! I'm not gay alright! I don't want to bang women I wanna bang Emm-"my hands found their way over my mouth before I could finish the incriminating sentence. I had hoped that no one had noticed my little slip up, but judging by the downright evil grin on the girls (including my mom…it was scary) faces, I could tell it was not so. My mom, with her 'evil' grin in place rushed (well tried to rush, she tripped over her own feet) to my chair.

"So you DO like a boy! What's his name? Is he cute? What color's his aura? Do you want to have his babie-"I just made a distressed noise and fled the room like a wounded cow, Bella and Alice on my heels. When I reached my room (my bedroom this time), I decided against nose diving onto my bed and ran into my closet to hide. What could have only been a second later, I felt a heavy knock on the wooden door. "Sunny? You okay? That drilling was kind of harsh…" Bella's voice piped up. I just snorted at her. Once they realized it was going to take some heavy convincing to get me to come out of the closet*, Alice started banging on the door too. "Come on Sunny bear! We don't mind if you like Emmett- in fact, I was kind of…expecting it!" The pixie's exclamation made me come out. "What do you mean you 'expected' it?" For a brief moment, a panicked look came on their face before Bella smoothed her face into a smug expression. "Oh, that? Well, Alice thinks she's psychic." I glared at her. "Don't be making fun of psychics! I know for a fact that I am too!" Alice squealed. "Really? Oh my gosh! What can you do?!" I smirked proudly. "I can predict numbers!" The excited expression- gone now.

I knew they thought I was crazy, so I decided to prove it to them. "Bella, I want you to think of a number one through a billion." I waited and suddenly a number just occurred to me. "132,695,425.7!" Bella looked at me gob smacked. "Wow, that's really cool. Useless- but cool" Alice sighed at us impatiently. "Come on! We need to stay on track! Now, what's this about you and our brother?" I could feel my ears get hot. "Nothing! There is absolutely nothing going on!" She glared at me. "Unfortunately." NOW she grinned at me, seemingly appeased by my answer. I found myself getting horribly anxious, as I could sense a 'serious' conversation coming up, so I decided to break the tension in the only way I knew how.

I ran out of the room screaming at the top of my lungs. "MOM HAS TEA! WOMAN- STEP AWAY FROM THE HOT BEVERAGE!"

#$%^&**&^%$#!#$%^&*&^%$#!#$%

Well, you've met the family! Tell me what you think of her mom and dad- I imagine her dad looks like Jeffrey Dean Morgan and her mom looks like the love interest in Wolverine Origins…Sunny doesn't look like anyone but herself. And I really do love her for that. Thank you to my reviewers! You all are utterly fabulous. A special thanks to kirb8583 for your descriptive review! You inspired me to write this new chapter!