This is is the second chapter in my Supernatural - Heroes crossover parody. I hope you enjoy! Again, I own nothing.
"Wait, wait!" the girl screamed. She brushed some blood off her arms. She looked Sam and Dean up and down, as if assessing a challenge, and then said, "Did my dad send you? He thinks he can keep me from sneaking out, but boy is he wrong!"
"Uh, no, we don't know your dad..." Sam said. "At least I don't think we do. You must be one of those people with special abilities that have suddenly popped up in this town."
"What's it to you?" the girl snapped, trying to look fierce, and failing miserably. "Are you some of those government people that my dad...my other dad...was in with before, trying to round us up? Well if you are, I'm going to stop you. So there." She pouted, and Sam was sure she even stomped her foot a little.
"Uh, Sam?" Dean pulled Sam away so they could quietly discuss. "So, what do you think is causing all this? She's got to be some kind of demon, right? I'm thinking if there's others like her, we find them all and stop this."
"I don't know, Dean," Sam said. Maybe we could try and talk to these people first. You know, not just kill them."
The brothers snuck a glance over at the girl. She made a nasty face at them and said, "Go to hell!"
"Been there, done that," Dean said. "Sam, this girl's a bitch. I say we just move on, see what is wrong with this town, and then go to Vegas to get laid." He heads over to the car, starts it up, turns on some music. Seventies rock blares out of the car.
"Oh nooooo!" the girl wailed, covering her ears. "That music is all OOLLLDD and stuff! It's awful!"
"That's it," Dean said, climbing back out of the car.
"Use the knife!" Sam said.
Dean lifted the knife above his head, and then looked at it and stopped. "Whoops, sorry," he said. "That's my body butter spreading knife. I meant to pull out this knife." And he pulled Ruby's knife out and stabbed the girl with it.
"OUUUCCCHH OOOWWWIIEE!" she screamed, but did not spark and die like a demon should.
"Dude, I could have told you she's not a demon," Sam said.
"Then why'd you tell me to use the knife?!" Dean asked, exasperated. He was frustrated at having to raise his voice over the girls' screams. And all that blood. It was getting on the hood of the car, dammit!
"I didn't tell you to use that knife," Sam said, pushing the girl, still screaming with a knife in her chest, out of the way. "I meant to use this knife." He pulled a machete out of his pocket.
"Dude, how big are your pockets?" Dean asked. "And why? Or do I not want to know?"
"Probably you don't want to know," Sam said. "Anyway, the only way to stop something like whatever this girl is, is to chop the head off." Ignoring the girl's screams, Sam macheted her neck, and her head went flying. Her body collapsed with a meaty thud. A few moments later, screaming could be heard from the clump of trees at the side of the road.
"What was that?" Dean asked, and he and Sam ran over to investigate.
The girl's head was still alive, laying in the grass, and it seemed very angry.
"You chopped off my head! You guys are so...so mean! I'd kick your asses if I still had legs! I'm gonna get my dad to shoot you! And my uncle Peter to destroy you! You have no idea how powerful he is! You don't know who you're messing with, misters!"
"Will you take us to these other people?" Dean asked.
"You bet I will!" she said. "And you two are so dead!"
"We know," Sam agreed. They picked up her head and tossed it in the trunk of the car.
"Wait, you can't do this to me! I am CLAIRE!!!!" she screamed as Dean slammed the trunk.
This portion of tonight's program is brought to you by Dean's Guacamole. Just don't get any on the seat of his car, or he'll kick your ass.
Sometimes, the highway of life is smooth and harmonious. Other times, it is rough and bumpy, and paved with ghouls and zombies. It is at these times that our curious genetic code comes into play.
"Is there any way to make that sonofabitch shut up?" Dean asked. They were entering the town where supposedly, all these people with powers had shown up.
"That's Mohinder!" Clarire screamed from the trunk, but Sam and Dean didn't hear her because, well, she was in the trunk. It didn't matter, she knew there was no way to get Mohinder to shut up. They'd all tried, at some point, but it seemed that along with his strange super strength bug powers that he had developed after injecting that serum into himself, he was now omnipitent.
"Here we go, the center of town," Sam said, and Dean parked.
"Let's see how long it takes before the weirdos start showing up," Dean said. But Sam apparently had other ideas.
"Dean, I think we should go undercover. Not as suits, like usual...I've brought along a bag of disguises for you."
"For me?" Dean asked. "Come on, man, what about you?"
"Look, I did some research before we came here," Sam began, "and it seems these people used to have this company. And they'd team up: one person with an ability, one person without. So we're going to pretend you have a power, and I don't."
"Sammy, that doesn't make sense," Dean said, "Since you actually do have powers."
"I know, I know, but this way we really take them by surprise!" Sam said. "Look, just pick a disguise."
Dean rifled through the bag. He shook his head in confusion. "What did you do, raid a costume shop? Let's see, I can either be a troubled college student, a friend of Superman, a genetically engineered super soldier, or a punk in a kilt?!"
Sam shrugged. "It's all they had."
"Sam, I am not wearing a kilt!" Dean yelled. "Or any of these stupid costumes. Come on! Why-" He couldn't say any more, because a chubby Japanese man materialized out of nowhere and slammed into him. Moments later, a skinny Japanese guy appeared as well.
"Whoops! So sorry!" the chubby man said. He looked up at the brothers, and his face brightened. "Sam and Dean! I was waiting for you two to show up!"