Shadows Like Ghosts
Lost and Wandering
It did not take long for members of the Rsistance to realize their leader had forgotten everything.
Cole found this ironic. Considering they had used so much time and effort to get him to bring Chris back, claiming that the Resistance can do the rest, it seemed almost funny that all of the sudden they cannot do anything. He supposed it was to the boy's fortune that he had no memory of anything. He would not have to know what had transpired back in Wyatt's lair.
" What are we going to do?" One of the witches looked through one of the magic books. " There's got to be some spell to get him back!"
" There's no spell Sara." Billie said flatly. " I've looked through that book countless times. We'll have to do this the old fashioned way. People, stop panicking. There's a way to do everything."
They were sitting in the conference room, which was a dusty room with a long table that used to be polished and clean, but was now rotting at places and falling to pieces. Outside the murmur of other refugees droned on. Normally it was quieter, according to Billie, but with Chris in this state, everyone was worried.
There was a loud chatter suddenly. Cole, curious and bored, looked out. Chris was up and about, it seemed. Though nineteen, the stress and trauma of his adolescence stunted his growth slightly and made him small and thin. Clad in white, he looked like a frail angel.
" Chris! You should get back to bed." Said a wood nymph. " You need to recover your energy.
" I want to know what's going on." Said the boy, looking around.
Cole paused to wonder just how many of the Resistance knew Chris lost his memory. There were about five hundred at this base. Chris had set up, according to Billie, thirty bases around the world, each with about five hundred refugees and members. There had not been need for any more.
" Chris." He called, cutting through the chatter. The other members silenced, feeling wary of this new guest that they were neither familiar nor comfortable with.
Chris was too ignorant to care though. " Hi." He waved, and gave Cole a shy smile and a wave.
He'll work his way into your heart. An inner voice warned, even as Cole stepped forward to temporarily take the child under his wing. Just like his aunt. Remember how Phoebe loved you but wanted you out of her life? It will be the same way with him. His kind cannot be with those like you. He'll break your heart and step on it like trash.
" Come with me." Said Cole. He passed by the child without touching him. The boy looked at the others, hesitating for a second, before following.
oO
" What's your name?"
" …Cole. Cole Turner."
The teen beamed at him. " You feel very familiar. Were we friends before, like with Billie?"
Cole flinched. How odd. He had never had physical contact with Chris before in the boy's life. If anything, the child should be afraid of him. Even if the sisters spoke to their sons about the past, they would hardly paint Cole in a positive light.
" We have never met before." Cole finally replied.
There was something strangely shrewed about the way the boy looked at him. " You look sad."
" Do I?" Cole summoned a smile. You would be too, if you remember anything. " I'm alright. You should get some rest."
" I feel like I've gotten lots of rest already." Said Chris. " It feels awful in here. Everyone's always so scared."
Ah, yes. Chris had inherited his aunt's empath abilities. No doubt, Cole thought, the boy had sensed he was lying, which explained the shrewd look.
" I can't be the leader." Chris was saying. " He sounds so amazing. I can't possibly do what he does."
Cole felt uncomfortable. " You'll be fine." He said awkwardly. " You are the leader. You were merely…hurt. But you'll get better."
" What if I'm hurt again?" Chris looked at him, his eyes wide and vulnerable.
How strange, to see Chris this way. He had grown up to be a very tough young man. Seeing his brother turn evil had shaken Chris so much that he was no longer afraid of anything else. He skillfully set up the Resistance, managed the foundations of building a successful refuge system for the good magical beings, and strategically built their defenses so that even if they could not overthrow Wyatt, Wyatt could not destroy them either. All this, done with courage and determination far greater than his age would imply. Perhaps his most prominent feature was that Chris knew how to read people, knew who to trust, how to trust them, and how to stay clear of those who were untrustworthy. He had mastered his empath skills far better than his aunt did. Even Wyatt could not read people as well as Chris could.
Perhaps all that skill had gone with his memories, but it still discomfited Cole to realize the boy was trusting him. Trusting him.
You will always be evil.
She was wrong, Cole had decided long ago. She had confused the idea of not being good with being evil, as so many good beings often tend to do. He could never be good, no matter how many good deeds he did. But he will not be evil. It might still not have been enough for her anyway, which was probably the whole point, but then, Phoebe was still wrong.
But was Chris right?
Just for a while. Cole found himself pleading mentally to whatever forces guided their fates. Just a little while. That can't be wrong, can it? To pretend he was a good person. To pretend that he deserved this boy's trust.
" I won't let you get hurt again." He said. " Get some rest."
oO
" He is asleep?"
Cole started. Even in his long lifetime, he had never met an elf before. Wyatt's reign of terror had apparently affected their race as well.
" Well met, Belthazor." The elf bowed, having noticed his reaction.
" I am not Belthazor." Cole replied. " Belthazor is dead. I am Cole Turner."
" Well met, Cole Turner, then." The elf smiled grimly. " I am Sardo Sindolion."
Cole took a moment to note the other's appearance. He was brown-haired, fair-skinned like the rest of his race, and his eyes were a clear, deep blue. He had fine features, was slim and tall in figure, and wore a simple gray tunic and black trousers.
" You were not here when I brought him here." Cole remarked, turning unconsciously to block the elf's view of the door.
" I was retrieving supplies." Said the elf. " I had just arrived an hour ago and was told that Chris had returned.
" You were retrieving supplies even though your leader had been captured?" Cole asked.
The elf did not look apologetic. " We needed food." He said simply.
Cole sighed and took a moment to notice how around here, for some reason, he was not hated. Not like with the Charmed Ones. Perhaps they merely thought he was a lesser evil, but it was still strange to hold a conversation with someone who was not filled with loathing at the very sight of him.
A leprechaun waddled over to the elf. " We've unloaded everything."
Sardo nodded. " Understood."
The leprechaun then left the two without so much as a look at Cole.
Suddenly, shouts came from the front gate of the base.
" Whitelighter!" Someone shouted. " I need a whitelighter, now!"
Cole felt the jingling of orbs more than he saw them. " Oh my god," cried one of the whitelighters, " Hurry and let me at him!"
The base was suddenly a flurry of activity. " Where is Mara?" Someone demanded. " Where is she?"
Cole did not hear the answer, but then, perhaps there never was one. Someone burst down weeping, while several men cursed and spat.
The whitelighter then cursed, and stormed away. He went past Cole, who peered at the now lifeless body the angel had been trying to heal.
" What is happening?"
Cole turned around. Chris looked at him with wide eyes, face pale.
" Chris, go back to bed." Said Cole. " There's nothing you can do here."
" What's wrong with him?" Chris gestured at the dead witch.
" Chris, come on." Cole steered Chris away. " The sooner you get better, the sooner you can help."
A lie, but he hardly cared.
" Fucking assholes!" He heard someone yell behind him.
" I don't want to be alone." Chris said, not aware of how Cole felt startled by this. " I don't like being alone. It's scary and dark."
Scary. Chris would never use the word 'Scary'. " I'll stay with you. Will that be alright?"
" Yeah!"
Chris looked so happy, Cole thought. Too bad he wouldn't think so when his memories return. But for now, just as earlier, he could pretend that he deserved this.
oO
" What's going on?" Billie asked.
" Scouts returned. Two of them dead." Said Sardo. " Chris's state is not encouraging."
" Don't I know it.' Said the blonde witch. " But the Resistance members are taking it surprisingly well."
" They feel obligated to help him after all he has sacrificed to save them." Sardo said knowingly.
Billie sighed. " So what are we going to do in the meantime? We can't have Wyatt knowing that his brother is out of commission."
" You have been taking the lead since he was captured. You can continue doing so. And we also now have…Cole Turner, on our side." The elf glanced over to the closed door. " The odds have evened considerably."
" Cole Turner is but a shell of his former self." Said Billie. " Even magic-wise. While he has magic that can't be sensed, unlike the rest of us, he can't help us overthrow Wyatt any more than you can."
" But he does have different magic and he is someone Wyatt is not aware of." Sardo replied. " Not to mention, if I recall correctly, you had said he cannot be killed."
" That doesn't mean he is willing to stand in line of fire for us." Billie replied. " He was the Source. He was half-demon. And the Charmed Ones had hurt him a lot in their own way. It took me days, more than a week, even to get him to help Chris out. I'm not sure what we can say to motivate him more."
Silence fell.
" Well," Billie sighed, " We can't stand here lamenting all the time now can we? I'm just glad we got Chris out of there." She shook her head. " Hopefully he regains his memories before too long. In the meantime we should commence with the plan Chris had initiated two months ago."
" I know of no new updates." Said Sardo.
" No, but Yi might." Billie headed down the hall. " Come on, we can see what's been going on with the guerrilla while we've been distracted."
Yi, a mousy-looking fellow, looked up from his desk in the closet space they had cleared for his use.
" Hey Billie." He said, in a heavily accented English. " Scouts have sent in the reports for the defense rounds near the Quarter Base." He handed her the files.
Billie stared at the paper. " I'm not getting any of this."
" This column is the start time, this column is the end time."
" how on earth does that help? There's no difference between end and start times. There's no gap in defense."
" When exchanges take place," Sardo inputted, " The defenses weaken because their attention is taken away."
" Chris is way better at this than me." Billie took a deep breath. " Alright, I'll do my best."
oO
" Maybe it will help if I were told some of the things." Chris said. He should be resting, but the boy was too bothered by the distress of the other members of the Resistance. " Do you know anything about me? I mean, well, we've never met before, I guess…"
Cole sighed.
" Why are you always so sad?"
This could get a bit annoying. Cole thought, but he squeezed the witchlighter's hand. The truth is usually the only thing that works with Halliwells. He reminded himself. " I used to love your aunt."
He tried to consider whether he should correct himself. Used to…no, he will keep it.
" Oh." Chris seemed to understand then. But you don't, not really. How can you? " I'm sorry sir."
Sir? " That's fine." Cole had to smile then. " No hard feelings."
" You don't have to stay with me if you don't want to." Chris said quietly. " I'm not a child."
Oh, but you are. Cole thought. You are very much a child. " I don't mind."
Chris closed his eyes then, and soon the teen was asleep. Cole could sense his exhaustion. Despite everything, the boy was still fatigued. Whitelighter magic could not cure starvation.
Stop looking at him. The voice in his mind urged. You know that as soon as he regains his memories, he will turn away from you.
Cole did not even bother arguing. He simply ignored the voice.
oO
Chris was so much better than she was at this, Billie decided. Even though she had worked with Chris for all of the years the Resistance had been established, it was definitely different to be working in his shoes. She had always admired him. Despite being many years younger than her, nearly eighteen years younger, Chris still was more capable in a lot of areas than she was. A distant memory surfaced, that of the Charmed Ones when they first met, how one of them had proclaimed Billie was a smart witch.
She was an idiot compared to Chris.
But Chris was not just smart. He was also the kindest person Billie had ever met. Even as a child, Chris had been the more compassionate of the two brothers, and when Wyatt's reign of terror began, Chris had never hesitated to risk his brother's wrath for those who needed help. He would often dive in line of fire, and come home laughing and joking even though Billie could see that his heart was shattered. He never burdened others with his problems. That Leo Wyatt would shred Chris's self-esteem to bits, and he would give other members of the Resistance a thumbs up, crack a joke, and solve other people's problems before his own. No one suffered more than Chris did, and yet no one brought as much laughter to this otherwise horrifying world. He lived in constant fear that his brotherly bond with Wyatt would one day turn him to evil, that his connection to the Twice-Blessed would endanger those he meant to save. It was a fear, a horror, none of the others could possibly share. And yet Chris did his best to bring joy to the bases. Boost morale, among other things. He would say. We all need a break now and then.
" Thinking about Chris?" Askeda wood nymph, Tara.
" How does he get all this shit done?" Billie slammed the map down. " I'm amazed his brain doesn't explode."
" He's Chris." Said a witch, Charlie. " You've been in here a while. Sardo got some stuff down at the back from the loot. This time they got canned fruit."
" Ugh. I do need a break." Billie rose from her seat. " Fucking paperwork."
The canned fruit were good. Billie relished in the taste. She remembered that there used to be a time when she would sneer at the thought of canned fruit. It was so ghetto. But now, properly humbled, she was taking whatever she could get.
" Yo, where's Chris?" Asked one of the members.
" He's sleeping." Billie said.
" I'll lay out some for him then. What about that Turner guy, the one that saved him?"
" I'm giving him some fresh fruit." Said the wood nymph, working her magic on the canned slices. " As a thank you. He saved Chris's life."
" Go do that." Said another member.
Billie smiled a little, but her thoughts turned to the people who weren't saved, like the two members that were lost earlier that day.
" Where's John?" Asked Billie.
" He orbed off somewhere."
" He better not have left the base." Billie set down the fruit. " Can someone sense for him?"
" He didn't leave the base." Said another whitelighter. " He just orbed to his room."
" That better be true." Billie went back to her fruit. She felt lousy. Normally, Chris would go comfort the distraught family members, or the distraught whitelighters who weren't able to heal in time or override Wyatt's dark magic. It was why although there were many members in the Resistance for one man to handle, everyone knew Chris personally. No matter what, he always had time for someone who needed him.
Now that Chris is out of commission, she had to fill that role, but Billie was not good at this sort of thing. She looked down the hall where she knew the whitelighter was, but did not go to see him.
She was not Chris.
Come back to us. She prayed. And soon.