Just read it. All mistakes intended.

chapter 1

snape was hiding behind the bush, watching the girl named lily.

"tuney, look how high i can go" she said.

"stop," said tuney.

it was too late, she flew off the swing. then she picked up a pink flower and started controlling it.

"how can you do it," tuney said.

"it's easy," said snape, popping out from behind the bush. "youre a witch."

"what" said lily.

"yes," said snape, "and im a wizard."

tuney laughed. "yeah, and i'm merlin," she said sarcastically.

"no, you're a muggle," said snape.

"lets go lily," said petunia, offended.

they marched away with no one to observe how tearful snape looked.

Okay, I agree, that was pushing it a little.

Here's some tips:

TITLE AND SUMMARY: When you're writing a title, you have to make it interest the reader or else they're not going to read it. Then, in your summary, you don't want to say, "title is totally random" because who's going to read it then? Write a good summary, and don't write "this is completely stupid" or something like that, because people are going to assume that it WILL be stupid and they won't read it. Even if you do think it's really corny – people aren't going to read it if you write that it is.

SPELLING AND GRAMMAR: Use spell check! Proof read! We are all human and make mistakes, but if you're too lazy to use proper punctuation and caps, people are going to think the story is as sucky as your grammar. And use good vocabulary when you get the chance. Use a thesaurus or something. Make sure you don't overdo the vocabulary.

DETAIL: Put enough detail and emotion into the story! Make sure you write what the character feels, hears, smells, sees, etc etc…

DIALOUGE: Don't change the dialogue! If you're writing an AU, that's fine, but try to use the dialogue from the book if you're describing the same scene. You want to also add feelings and emotions not described in the book, but obviously, that's easy when you're not doing Harry's POV during a SevLily fic.

SNAPE: You don't wan't to call Snape "Snape" if it's from his point of view. Or Lily's. If it's from James, one of the other Marauders, Petunia, etc (aka some1 who doesn't like him) call him Snape or Snivelly. Otherwise, call him Severus.

PS: I WILL add more on the characters in the upcoming chapters.