Sometimes I look at him and wonder what it is that he loves about me. I sit on the couch with Buttercup and he sits in the rocking chair drawing something. After last night, I find it hard not to want to be around him. It's as if I want all of his attention all of the time. I know he has no problem giving it to me but I feel as if I shouldn't depend on him like this. I feel like, at a moment's notice, we will be called away and one, or both of us, will have to fight to save the other.
I am in a daze when he drops his book about two inches from the fire and grips the arms of the chair. I know he feels the cloudiness trying to seep into his brain and is fighting it away. I run to the kitchen and seek the box of medicine Dr. Aurelius sent over for Peeta. I grab a pill and wait for his grip on the arm rests to loosen. I give him a glass of water and the pill.
"How are you?" I ask while picking up his book.
"I've been better," he says. He smiles at me after having swallowed the pill. "Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?" He asks. I smile at him and shake my head. I'm sure I'm blushing by now. I hand him his book and pencil and gather my game bag and boots.
"I'm going hunting," I say, putting on my jacket. At first there is no answer from Peeta. Then he says "I want you to teach me." By this time he is standing in the door way with his jacket in his hand. Teach him? I thought. But hunting's me and Gale's thing and even though we haven't spoken lately, it would feel so wrong. Those are our woods and our game. Yet, while I feel such devotion for Gale, the list of things I owe Peeta is never ending, so I agree. I dig up some of my old quivers, bows and arrows for him.
In the woods, his treads are heavy, as usual. He smiles apologetically when I tell him to try to step a little lighter. We spot a rabbit grazing nearby. I tell Peeta he can have that one if he'd like. Luckily, he has some training in archery from The Games training center. He kills the rabbit but through the stomach. I cringe. That rabbit wouldn't even be worth trading in the Hob. The disappointment is written on his face so I step in.
"Wow, that was such a good shot. I'm proud of you." That makes him smile. We go on like this for about an hour before he really starts to get better. He actually shoots through the eyes one time After about two more hours we are tired. We walk to the lake and slurp up some of the sweet water and rest against a tree. My hand seeks out Peeta's and we lock fingers.
I turn towards him and watch the sunlight dance off of his blond lashes. He looks at me and smiles and It's contagious because now I am smiling.
"What are you thinking?" He asks.
"I'm thinking about how you are the only happiness I have. The only person who really knows me that I have left. And I'm thinking about how I can't lose you," I say. A look of relief spreads across Peeta's face. It seems as if he had been waiting to hear those words since our first interaction with the bread so long ago.
"I never wanted to lose you. Not while I was really me, anyway," He says. I look down at my feet and find a yellow dandelion peeking from under my boot. The first I've seen since returning from the capitol. I pluck it and put it in Peeta's ear. He laughs at the gesture and takes it from his ear and put it in mine.
"That's more fitting," he says.
Back at the house, we find Greasy Sae washing some dishes. Peeta hands her the game back and she's ecstatic to have so many rabbits to work with. For dinner we have baked rabbit and bread made by Peeta. Haymitch even decides to join us. He's drunk, but he's here. He notices something between Peeta and I that no one else would've. When Peeta goes to his house to get a change of clothes, Haymitch and I are left alone.
"You're quit fond of him now, Sweat heart aren't you? Wonder what happened," he says smiling. Deep down I know he knows what happened so I laugh. When Peeta returns, Haymitch leaves with Greasy Sae.
Peeta and I are back in front of the fire place and Buttercup has his nose in some rabbit entrails. The phone rings, startling the three of us. Peeta gets it and I hear him speaking excitedly but don't inquire about who it is. Probably Dr. Aurelius checking on our progress. Peeta comes in the living room and tells me to get the phone. I pick up the phone and I am frozen at the sound of Gale's voice.