little bit of a warning for this chapter - it's kinda dark, and involves some language.
He was running. Faster than he ever had before, than he could ever remember. There was blood on his hands and the wind in his hair and absolutely no escape from the guilt inside his soul. Hiroomi was still on the grass behind him and Akihito knew that he needed to go back, or get help, or something. But fear prompted him to run and so he did. He ran and he didn't stop and he didn't look back and the guilt ran with him.
A day later and the conversation with the girl had not moved on. Akihito still didn't know her name, her past, or anything at all about her. There was a chance he'd never know, he supposed. It was jail, there was no requirement to share anything with the unfortunate person in the cell next door.
They'd mostly kept to their own separate sides. Every once in a while Akihito heard her shuffle around and he thought about looking up, because it had been a while since anything different had happened in his life. But then he realized that if he looked at her, he'd have to move. And the heavy weight of his limbs and the constant pangs of hunger put that idea to rest.
He didn't really remember when the last time he got a good meal was - probably the last time Mitsuki had snuck down here to visit him with her illegal stash of books and a couple of moth-eaten blankets. Akihito was never sure why, but the princess just loved to spend her days insulting him in the damp hallway of the jail. Maybe it was because down here, at least, she was free from having her older brother follow her around insisting on doting on her. Mitsuki also liked to complain, in her own special way that made everyone sound dumber than they really were.
Some part of Akihito always wanted to argue when she called him names, but usually, he was just too tired. He was definitely too tired to do anything today. And too hungry. Mitsuki hadn't been down here in a while, so he hadn't been fed anything concrete for a while.
The guards were cruel creatures. Heavy armor lidded their eyes and they enjoyed taking bets on the degrading states of the prisoners until they died, whether from hanging or malnutrition or the hundreds of other reasons. The guards had learned early on that when he didn't eat, he turned evil. And that inspired fear in them, which, he'd learned, they despised more than anything. So they never fed him enough, but just the amount that would limit his transformations.
Knowing this, he honestly wasn't surprised when one of them turned their attention to the girl.
"Hey," A rough voice called, echoing off the stone walls. "Girl. Come here."
Her eyes widened in fear, flashing back to Akihito. Mildly, he shook his head. Not listening to the guards was usually a bad idea - but in this moment, he knew that doing what they said would be much, much worse.
She pushed herself back in the cell, back pressed against the wall, breathing heavily. The guards leered at her, leaning against the bars. "Ah, the little mouse is scared," one of them grinned. He gripped the metal bar, roughly shaking it, an echoing clatter spreading through the hall and sending a jolt of pain through Akihito's head. Everything swam in front of his eyes - not a good sign. Some part of him desperately wanted to rush over and slam the guard's face into the wall because what the hell kind of person acts like that - but then the dizziness hit and that thought flew from his mind.
His thoughts were flying all over the place like stars blinking in and out of existence. And he figured this couldn't be good because he was starting to feel like he usually did before he blacked out, and when he blacked out he usually woke up with a hole in his memory and bloodied knuckles and bruised eyes. He would wake up loathing himself more and loathing the world more and wishing that he could just sleep and never need to wake up.
His eyes were fluttering closed because he was honestly, just always so, so tired.
And then the guard opened her cell. His eyes snapped open, a brief moment of lucidity and alertness sweeping over him, staring as the girl shivered in the corner.
"Hey," the guard pointed at the girl - who hadn't moved an inch since the door had been opened and now shut, as the guard closed it as he slowly walked into the cell. "How about you come over here and I can give you the punishment you deserve, you piece of filth. How about while I cut you open, you scream about how it 'wasn't your fault' and how you 'don't deserve this'! Because God, when they scream, that's the best. You can imagine that princess you killed while you bleed, knowing you're not going to see her when you die."
And suddenly Akihito realized why the jail was always empty.
The only reason Akihito had never been harmed by this guard was because of his immortality. The rest had been killed. The rest of the prisoners - the ones who didn't make it to the end of their sentence or the death that the courts ordered - they must have been killed by this man with the bloodlust in his eyes. They must have all faced his crazed obsessions, and Akihito was only exempt because the guard would never be able to do the harm he wanted to him. Akihito felt even more sick after coming to this realization, the world spinning around him as his breath labored.
But something cold had overtaken the girl's face since the man had started talking. Her eyes were made of steel, fear still hidden under the surface but covered up and hidden behind heavy curtains. Her hand gave her away, shaking as her fingers started to fiddle with the bandages on her palm, as if she were trying to calm herself down.
The guard just grinned wider. Akihito was shaking out of anger, some semblance of energy seeping back into his bones. It was just an empty pretense of adrenaline, but it was more awake than he had felt in a while.
The guard reached the girl, gripped her arm, and a noise of anger ripped out of Akihito's raw and scratchy throat. He didn't want to see as the guard laughed and pressed his arm against her neck, as she started coughing and as -
As she shakily ripped the bandage off her arm, coughing and wobbly but still somehow strong and fierce and utterly beautiful. A ruby-red sword dripped out of a deep cut on her palm, solidifying into a smooth weapon of blood. It looked as if every moment she held the sword out was taking its toll; her actions were slow and shaky as she stared at the guard with, what Akihito realized, was complete and utter fear. But Akihito knew that fear - it wasn't the guard she was scared of. It was herself.
He knew that look well enough from staring at his own reflection in the puddles that dripped when it rained.
The guard glared at her. "Huh. So you got a little bit of a bite, huh, little mouse?" But the maniacal look was back in his face after a moment. Abandoning all pretense, he jumped at her. But she quickly slid out of the way, that cold and calculating look hiding her fear at enormous speed. She slashed at his ankles, cutting deep into his skin.
"Ah, shit!" The guard cursed, even more angry. He pushed himself up, struggling to stand with blood dripping down his ankles but managing to anyway. Roughly, he pushed at the girl, grabbing her arm and slamming it on the wall behind her. His fist punched into her stomach and she doubled over in pain.
Akihito pulled himself to the edge of the cell, roughly shaking the bars with the little bit of energy he had, pooling up from the anger leaking into his bones.
"St-" He coughed, his throat still like sandpaper from disuse. "Stop!" He choked out, knowing full well that the guard would ignore him. But if Akihito could just somehow manage to get the guard to loosen his grip, blink a little too long, miss a beat, he was sure the girl would be able to get her bearings enough to protect herself.
So he continued to yell himself even hoarser and rattle at the bars like the end of the world was coming. Which, he thought rather cynically, it would be, for her, if this doesn't work.
But apparently luck was on his side for once in his life, because the guard eyed Akihito and stupidly took the time to spit in his direction, loosening his grip on the girl's arm. Enough for her to push herself away from the wall and stab the sword into his gut.
Akihito looked up, his energy draining just as fast as it had come. The hunger and the constant pain and the lack of sleep came rushing back over him as he swayed from the sudden loss of adrenaline. But he looked up, and he would never forget the look in her eyes.
It was like the world had ended in front of her. She wasn't even staring at anything, her eyes unfocused and staring at the blood on her hands and the sword in the guard like he was someone else. Tears slowly streaked down her cheeks and her hands trembled as she dropped her sword. It clattered to the ground right as she fell to her knees, shaking and staring at the guard's body.
Akihito managed to pull himself up and call out to her. "Hey, uh - are you okay?"
Halfheartedly, she glared at him. But it was better than the unfocused look in her eyes a minute ago, so Akihito kept babbling. "I mean, I know it looks bad, but honestly, it was self-defense. You did the right thing."
"No," She whispered. "I didn't. I really didn't." And she turned to him, her hair falling like waves around her cheeks and her eyes carrying the guilt of a thousand-man army. "Look at this," She whispered hoarsely. "I killed someone! I killed a person and they're bleeding and I ended a life!"
Akihito got the feeling they weren't even talking about the guard anymore. "You ended his life - his crazy, fucked up life - to protect yours. And I can promise you this - whatever you did, whatever happened to get you in this jail, it's not worse than what he did. He killed so many people. And you ended that chain, you saved yourself from the same fate. You had every right."
She shook her head violently. "No, no, no, no, no. I didn't. I don't have the right to do anything anymore."
"Why not?" Akihito pressed, even though he got the feeling that maybe he shouldn't.
"Leave me alone," she whispered, and that was the end of it.
She didn't move, not for a long time. It was as if she were paralyzed; the shaking in her limbs wouldn't go away, her breaths coming in short puffs, air not reaching her lungs and panic taking over her brain. The blood was all over her hands - her sword at her side, left but not forgotten. Looking at it made her want to throw up - more blood, more memory of how she killed - oh god, she killed - her best friend. Yui wouldn't ever wake up. Yui was asleep on the floor, forever, in a blanket of her own blood and Mirai just couldn't move away.
hey hey hey look who's back! me ! writing things!
so okay, a couple notes because i feel like i need to bring these up:
1. about how much i'll be writing this - i'm trying really super hard to come up with these chapters at a reasonable speed, but it's kinda tough with school happening and life doing things. so i can't give any set amounts of time you guys should expect between chapters, because it's honestly going to change based on what's happening with schoolwork and other variables
2. the chapters are probably going to continue being varying levels of angst and sadness for a bit, as an fyi - things have to get worse before they get better :) but this chapter is probably one of the heavier ones.
3. thanks so much to everyone who favorited and reviewed and followed despite the fact that i'm such a sucky updater! it honestly means so so much and it really helps me get motivated to write more!
on that note, if you guys do leave a review, i'll probably end up doing cartwheels in my yard from happiness so feel free to do that