So, thanks to Ezeakel I have decided to make Naruto like Tobi, so he will secretly be getting stronger while hiding his true self and showing it only when necessary. But at the same time, I didn't want Naruto being a loudmouth idiot, so I made him more serious. I also incorporated a few more of Ezeakel's suggestions, but they won't show themselves until later chapters. So until then, I hope you enjoy this short chapter!
The Ouroboros
Naruto was sitting in front of the Hokage, grinning like a madman."So, Whaddaya think?" he asked, referring to his profile picture."You know at first I couldn't figure out exactly how to do it. It took me three hours to work it out, but I finally got it. Like an art project on my face only, you know, better-" "take it again" interrupted the Hokage."What?! Why?!" he stared in disbelief, "we can't accept this photo" "yeah, well I'm not gonna do it again." They both glared at each other, one in defiance and the other authoritatively, until Naruto made a handseal, "Sexy Jutsu!" he called out and Naruto transformed into a naked, well-endowed woman, and the only thing covering up her most private places was a thin blanket of smoke."Pretty please lord Hokage" she spoke in a sultry voice.
It took a moment for Hiruzen to process what he was seeing, but when he did, he was knocked backward, courtesy from a gush of blood coming out of his nose, with a perverted grin on his face. He soon straightened himself and began wiping the blood off his face,"That's the Sexy Jutsu you say? It's tricky, much too tricky don't ever use it again" he ordered "and where is your forehead protector Naruto? You're supposed to be wearing it!" "Oh, I'm not putting it on until the orientation, I don't wanna damage it" he said, adjusting his truth was, he did not want to wear anything that showed his loyalty to Konoha, but he had to wear it or else it would look like he was abandoning the village. He knew the village would have no problem sending hunter-nin after him and since he wasn't strong enough to fight anybody stronger than an academy student, the best he could do right now is to put of wearing the forehead protector until the orientation, which unfortunately for him, was tomorrow.
"So, you want your headband nice, but your photo that represents you makes you look like a clown" deadpanned Hiruzen, referring to the fact that the photo showed Naruto covered with white paint and red tribal markings, while he was sporting a silly expression on his face."It's for training and missions which is the key to your future and if you want to become Hokage you should start taking things seriously. I mean, just look at this picture, you can't even tell who it is!"
"Fine, I'll retake the damn photo" he grumbled. Naruto and Hiruzen turned their heads when the door suddenly slid open, revealing a brown haired kid wearing grey shorts, a yellow shirt, and blue scarf.
"Old man, I challenge you!" he shouted and charged at the Hokage, holding a shuriken."I'm going to defeat you and become the fifth Hoka- ahh!" Naruto almost laughed when the boy tripped over his scarf and fell flat on his face."*sob**sob*Ow" he sniffled.
A jonin wearing a bandanna forehead protector and black sunglasses ran into the room. He gasped when he saw the kid curled up on the floor. "Something tripped me!" the kid exclaimed, "are you okay honorable grandson?" asked the jonin "and by the way there's nothing for you to trip on, the floor is pretty flat." Naruto couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out laughing, attracting the attention of the kid and jonin.
'Oh no, the nine-tailed fox. Why did we have to run into him?' pondered Ebisu. The kid, clearly embarrassed, pointed at Naruto,"alright, you're the one who tripped me, aren't you?!" he accused. Naruto got a tick mark on his head and grabbed the kid by the scruff of his shirt,"you tripped over your own scarf you brat!" he shouted."hey you, get your hands off him this instant! He's the grandson of the honorable third Hokage!" informed Ebisu.
'He stopped, just like everyone else. Now that he knows I'm the Hokage grandson, he won't dare lay a hand on me!' reasoned Konohamaru."What's wrong tough guy? To scared to hit me just because the Hokage is my grandfather-" "I wouldn't give a shit if the Hokage was your grandmother!" disrupted Naruto, hitting him on the head.
'This guy's, different...' thought Konohamaru, before he collapsed on the floor.
Ebisu stood in front of Konohamaru with a scowl on his face."Listen, you are the grandson of our honorable lord Hokage, so you cannot let riffraff like him draw you into a fight, even though he deserves it" reprimanded Ebisu."You see he is far beneath you so you shouldn't stoop to his level. As your elite ninja trainer, I am far superior to the other ninja trainers and can make you reach your goal of becoming the next Hokage quickly and easily." he bragged "indeed, due to my great skill I can take you to the top where you must always stay close to. You understand me, right honorable grandson?"
He looked around, but when he didn't see Konohamaru anywhere he started to panic."Where'd he go now?!" he shouted, "I think he followed Naruto, but other than that I have no idea where they're going" imputed Hiruzen."What! He's with Naruto?! That's a disaster! Honorable grandson!" he shouted, running out the door.
Hiruzen sighed. Konohamaru was quite determined, this was his twentieth sneak attack today, and if he started to hang around with Naruto he was bound to get worse.
Naruto.
He sighed, thinking back to the day he told the council that the nine-tails was sealed inside of Naruto, and of course, he expected that there would be some negative attitude towards him. I mean, how would you feel if you were told that the demon who nearly destroyed your home was sealed in a baby? But he didn't expect for the entire civilian council to call for Naruto's death immediately! The shinobi council were no better. Thank God the council could only advise the Hokage or else Naruto would have been either dead, imprisoned, or an emotionless drone.
'Where did I go wrong?' he questioned. looking back, it was probably when he told the council the fox was sealed in Naruto.'Maybe if I had just—it doesn't matter anyway. Contemplating our past won't change our present. What I should be worried about is what Naruto will teach my grandson.' Just thinking about that nightmare was enough to give him a headache.
Naruto could sense somebody following him. He turned his head and saw what looked like a wrinkly rock with feet. He rolled his eyes at the poor disguise and continued walking. A moment later he turned his head as said,"there's no point in hiding, I know you're there so just reveal yourself."
His brow twitched when he saw someone leaning against the fence and trying to hide behind a tarp, keyword trying."That's so obvious it's pathetic" he deadpanned. The person chuckled and revealed himself to be the boy from before."Saw through my disguise huh? The rumors about your skills are true" he mused, "What do you want kid?" asked Naruto."I want you to be my teacher!" exclaimed the boy, "I'm sorry, what?" "you heard me! I want you to be my—" "yes, yes I know what you said" Naruto interrupted,"but what I meant was why? Why do you want me to be your teacher when you already have one?"
"Because Ebisu-sensei never teaches me anything and you took down grandpa Hokage with a single jutsu! If I ever want to become Hokage, them I need a good teacher and you're-hey where are you going?!" the boy shouted when he saw that Naruto was walking away from him."Sorry I'm not a teacher, and I don't want to be" he said, raising a hand over his shoulder."Wait!" screamed the kid, running up to Naruto, "at least teach me that Sexy Jutsu you used on grandpa!" "no" "pleeeeeaaaaaaaasssssseeeeee, I promise I'll work really hard and try my best! Maybe I'll even be so good you'll change your mind!"
"Don't you have something else to be doing?" asked Naruto."Well, I do have another teacher-" "then why don't you go to them instead of bothering me?" Naruto interrupted. "Because, he's busy right now and you defeated grandpa! Not even he could do that!" exclaimed the boy.
'He's persistent, I'll give him that' Naruto mused."Fine, I'll teach you my Sexy Jutsu, but after that you have to promise that you'll quit bothering me" "you got it boss!", the kid exclaimed."Boss?" "yeah! I'm your apprentice, so your my boss boss!"
'It hasn't even been five minutes, and I'm already regretting this' Naruto groaned
"So kid, what's your name?" asked Naruto."My name?" "we'll yeah I don't think you want me calling you kid or brat do you?" "It's Konohamaru" he replied, shocked. No one had ever asked what his name was before!
"Right, so listen Konohamaru, in order for me to teach you the Sexy Jutsu I first have to see if you know any basic skills. Show, me a transformation".Konohamaru just tilted his head and stared blankly. Naruto sighed in annoyance,"show me a transformation so that I can see where you need to improve"
"Oh okay that makes sense! But what do I transform into?" asked Konohamaru. Naruto looked around and pointed at a pretty brunette,"how about that lady over there? You can transform into her" "no problem! Here I go, boss, Transform!" In a puff of smoke, Konohamaru transformed into a obese version of the woman."So, do I look like her?" he asked in a low voice.
Naruto sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, he didn't want to possibly crush a child's dream, so it would probably be best if he let him down gently."It's terrible, the only thing you got right was the hair and clothes" he criticized. Unfortunately, the woman heard him and hit him on the head,"you brat! Don't you dare speak to him like that!" she screeched. She turned her attention to Konohamaru and said in a sweeter tone,"now honorable grandson the next time you transform make me a little cuter, okay?" she smiled, and walked away.
Konohamaru stood there wide-eyed,"she's scary" he trembled as Naruto rubbed his head in pain.'Please, that was nothing! You should see what the villagers are like during their "fox hunts"' he scoffed.
When Konohamaru calmed down, he screamed in rage."Damn it! If I can't even get a simple Transformation Jutsu right then how can I become the next Hokage?!" exclaimed. Naruto put a calming hand on Konohamaru's shoulder,"calm down Konphamaru, nobody can master a jutsu on there first try, not even the Hokage. Eventually, with a lot of hard work and practice you will master the Sexy Jutsu" he smiled, which disappeared just as soon as it appeared.
"Alright, now follow me so we can get started" Naruto ordered. He began to walk towards the forest with Konohamaru walking after him. As they walked, Konohamaru noticed that a lot of the villagers were glaring at Naruto, and he didn't understand why, so he asked him and all he got for an answer was "don't worry about it". That was strange,I mean sure, Naruto was a little cold and maybe he wasn't the nicest person on the planet, but that was no reason to look at him as if he was a demon!
"We're here", Naruto's voice snapped Konohamaru out of his musings. He looked around and saw that they were in a small clearing in the forest, surrounded by bushes."Boss?" "Yeah kid?", Konohamaru felt awkward, "well, I just wanted to say sorry that the lady hit you back there" he fidgeted."It's fine" sighed Naruto,"now I know what you need help with, so I can finally teach you the Sexy Jutsu, all you'll need to do now is practice."
Konohamaru's guilty expression suddenly turned into one of determination,"Practice! Alright boss!" Naruto chuckled,"alright, now the trick is to get the curves in all the right places" he instructed."Got it boss! So like this?" asked Konohamaru, transforming into a fat, spiky-haired woman with fish lips wearing a bikini. Naruto shook his head "No! you got to make her skinnier!"
"You got it boss! Like this?"
"Curvier!"
Curvier, alright boss! How's this?"
"Argh!"
"Naruto" growled Ebisu from atop the Hokage monument."What's he done with the honorable grandson? What's his evil plan? Where could he have taken him?" he wondered to himself, looking down at the village. He had checked every inch of the village and still didn't find Konohamaru, 'I hope I find the honorable grandson soon, who knows what sort of trouble the nine tails is teaching him'
He was a jonin, the highest ninja level and an elite trainer of future Hokage candidates. Any parasite that dared to leach onto his student,
Will be squashed!
Naruto sipped lightly on his soda. It had taken some time, but Konohamaru had finally managed to learn the Sexy Jutsu. Speaking of the boy, Konohamaru was elated that he had finally managed to learn a jutsu and was celebrating to himself."Alright! I did it, I did it! I finally learned the Sexy Jutsu! Now I'm finally closer to being Hokage!" he exclaimed."Konohamaru, can I ask you a question?" "Okay!" "Why are you so obsessed about becoming Hokage?" asked Naruto.
Konohamaru's cheerful attitude quickly sobered,"my grandfather named me Konohamaru, after the ancient name of the village so it should be easy to remember. But other than my grandfather, not one person in the entire village called me by that name until you. That's because when they look at me all they see is the grandson of the Third Hokage, no one knows who I am. I can't stand it because I feel as if I'm invisible, like I don't exist. That's why I need to become Hokage now, so that people could see who I am" he explained.
Naruto was surprised by the answer. It looked like Konohamaru was not a spoiled brat like he originally thought, but some lonely kid who was not seen for himself and wanted to become Hokage so that the villagers could finally start seeing him for his own person. Just like Naruto.'Huh, looks like we have a lot more in common than I thought' he mused.
"Get real" "huh?" "do you really think that people will accept a squirt like you? A kid can't become Hokage overnight, it's not that simple. To really be a Hokage, do you know what you have to do?" asked Naruto."What? What is it?!" demanded Konohamaru. Naruto smirked,"you're going to have to defeat me in battle!"
"Lord Hokage!" exclaimed Iruka,"I've been looking for you"."for what purpose?" he asked without turning his head."It's about Naruto, did he resubmit his shinobi ID photo?" "Hn," the old man nodded."That's a relief, you know I gave him a lecture the other night at the ramen stand but he's still beaming because he became a genin so he thinks I'll change things and people will stop looking down on him now"
"I fear his dream may not come true" Hiruzen revealed, looking up at the stone face of the fourth Hokage,"people don't change that easily".Iruka was confused "what do you mean sir?".
"The nine-tails is sealed inside Naruto, not everyone knows this of course, only the adults of the village know the truth. I decreed that nobody could speak about this even those who whispered it were executed, so the children of today know nothing of Naruto's connection to the beast that almost destroyed the village twelve years ago. As long as the children remain unaware, Naruto has some hope of being accepted." explained the Hokage."Before the forth Hokage died, he asked that Naruto should be regarded as a hero" "A hero?" "the fourth Hokage defeated the fox by sealing it into a newborn baby. By containing the fox within his body, Naruto saved the village. That's why he's a hero."
"Unfortunately, the villagers don't understand this. They think that the fox could take over Naruto's body at any moment, some think he is the beast, and just because the villagers can't talk about it doesn't mean they can't express their hatred by abusing the poor boy. What makes it worse is that some of the children pick up their parent's hatred and they turn against Naruto, while other parents ban their children from even talking to him."
Iruka had a downcast expression on his face,"so, you're saying that Naruto's chances of being accepted are far smaller than his chances of being hated forever" he said sadly. The Hokage didn't reply, instead he asked "do you know what the ancients said about such things Iruka?" "what's that sir?"
"When people reject someone's very existence and then look at that person, their eyes become cold. Colder than a blizzard in the deepest winter."
"I found you!"
Naruto and Konohamaru turned their heads to see around to see Ebisu frowning at them.'The nine-tailed fox' he thought contemptuously, glaring at Naruto. He shifted his attention to Konohamaru,"so honorable grandson, time to go home" he said."No way, I'm learning how to defeat my grandfather so I can get the title of Hokage! Now don't get in my way!" yelled Konohamaru.
Ebisu chuckled,"a Hokage is much more than a fighter, he must know virtue, honor, wisdom and must be skilled in a thousand jutsu. You don't even know one jutsu!" "Oh yeah? Transform!" in a puff of smoke, Konohamaru transformed into a naked woman, with smoke covering her private places.
"Hi there! Like my jutsu?" he asked in a sultry voice."Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh!" screamed Ebisu with his jaw dropping to the ground."Hey, he's not defeated!" exclaimed Konohamaru."Wha-what kind of scandalous technique is that?!" he shouted, a light blush covering his cheeks, " such tasteless vulgarity can never affect me. I am far above it!"
Ebisu grabbed Konohamaru by his scarf, "honorable grandson stop this...right now!" he grunted, trying to drag him away."Naruto's turning you into a delinquent, only my special training can put you on the fast path of becoming Hokage!" "just leave me alone!"
Naruto sweatdropped, they were acting like a married couple. Maybe it was time he interfered,"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" he shouted and about fifty Narutos filled the area."Whoa! This is unreal!" he whispered, admiringly.
"I'm not impressed. I am a jonin, a elite ninja warrior. I'm not some lightweight like how a real ninja beats an upstart!"
The Naruto clones and Ebisu stared each other down.'Come on boss, you can do it' thought Konohamaru. "Transform!", and in a huge puff of smoke, the Naruto clones suddenly transformed into a bunch of naked women who latched themselves onto Ebisu, moaning his name sultrily. All of this was too much for Ebisu and a gush of blood came out of his nose, sending him flying.
Naruto grinned,"gotcha! With my Harem jutsu!"
In the Hokage tower, Hiruzen was watching everything that was happening through his crystal ball."He's combined shadow cloning with his own invention, the Sexy Jutsu" he deduced.'What a foolish ninja technique! And he could probably get me with it too.'
Konohamaru screamed in rage,"Aw man, I couldn't even beat that snobby trainer of mine! I want to be Hokage so bad but I keep messing up, why can't I do it?!" Naruto looked at him incredulously,"do you really think it's that simple?" he asked,"to be a Hokage you have to be the greatest of all the ninja in this village, you have to prove yourself so everyone believes in you I mean, look at me. I've been ignored, pushed away and treated as if I have the plague, and after all of that I found one person who believes in me. To find that one person, I had to be knocked down a lot". Okay, so that wasn't technically a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth, but Konohamaru didn't need to know that.
"So you better make sure your ready" "for what?" "for lots of blood, sweat and tears. While your learning to be a shinobi". Naruto turned around and smiled softly at Konohamaru,"oh and by the way, there is no easy way to becoming Hokage" Konohamru just stared. This was the first time he had seen Naruto smile, and he looked beautiful! He blushed at his thoughts and thought back to Naruto's earlier words, specifically when he said that he couldn't become Hokage unless he beat him in battle.
"Hah! Who do you think you are giving me a big lecture like that?!" he asked "that's it! I'm not going to be your apprentice anymore. From now on...we're rivals!" He grinned and Naruto grinned back,"well I can't be your trainer anyway become tomorrow I start my advanced ninja studies. But I accept your challenge and someday, well fight for the title lord Hokage. So be ready for that day" he smiled.
"Alright! And I swear I will work really hard and when I beat you and become lord Hokage, I'll make you the future Mrs. Sarutobi!" he exclaimed. Naruto blushed,"what?!"."You heard me! When I become Hokage ill marry you!" Konohamaru exclaimed, "yes I know what you said, but why?!" "it's because you are the only other person then my second rival to see me for Konohamaru and not the grandson of the Hokage. You might look really grouchy but you're very nice. Plus, you look very beautiful, almost like a girl!"
Despite how hurtful that last comment was to his pride, Naruto decided to let Konohamaru down gently, since he was a kid."Konohamaru, as faltered as I am, I'm not intresteded in you" he said softly."Oh" he sighed,"well then I guess I will have to win over your heart! Now I got to start training if I ever want to be Hokage and marry you! he said, running of.
Naruto just stared blankly after Konohamaru,"what the fuck just happened?!" he screamed.
A/N: I'm sorry for such a short chapter. But the next chapter is the Academy, so it should be much longer. And remember to enjoy and review. Until next time! :)