Look what you've done
chapter one : Seems just fine
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They say first love is the most worse, that you feel a hand slowly opening your lifeless body, scratching and itching its way to your heart, lurking in the back as the blood pumps over and over sadly giving you life and holding your soul to this body that keeps you grounded to this earth. From what Ive tasted its much , much worse , you experience everything backwards to what everyone else tells you.
You feel the mind blowing pain creep from the darkness and surround your soul and break throw the tenderness slowly making holes across your body leaving the heart for last, then you feel completely numb as its finished its national destruction.
Edward left
Jacob doesn't want me
charlies avoiding me
maybe i should end it , what's left anyway.
i was taken away from my thoughts by none other then Charlie Fucking Swan my so called father, great father he is , note the sarcasm.
"Bella that is it I'm sick and fucking tired of you and this bullshit , he was just a stupid little punk, "charlies paused for a second trying to regain his breath. Bells he's just a guy , you can do so much better, what about jaco-"I cut him off immediately
"WHAT ABOUT JACOB, HUH WHERE IS HE RIGHT NOW AS WE SPEAK HE TOLD ME WE COULDN'T HANG OUT ANYMORE, HE DOESN'T WANT ME, nobody does" I broken down crying hysterically as charlie stood their awkwardly not knowing what to do. I quickly sat up off the floor , slowly stood up and without a word walked right out the door.
I quickly got into my pick up truck , turned on the ignition and slowly drove out of the drive way and onto the road not knowing where i went, somehow i ended up at la push , don't ask me why i drove their but i guess i did. I started to hyperventilate thinking that Jacob might be there but got my shit together and got out of the car heading straight for the beach that had been my second home for the past couple of months.
The waves were softly spilling out creating the best time for body surfing. I watched as the current carried the broken waves back out into the ocean before re appearing again. The ocean called to me , calming me into the oblivious. As i took my shoes off digging my feet into the sand i realised the sun was setting , a perfect time for a late night swim. It was summer time to, so the water wouldn't be that cold, probably the complete opposite.
I took my hair Tye off flinging it somewhere into the sand , letting my hair fall down into the soft curls that Ive grown to hate, if only my hair was perfect then maybe edwa- he wouldn't have left me , maybe Jacob wouldn't have ditched me , maybe charlie would have grown to love me, things would have been different, better if only i was better. Silently tears flowed down my pale cheeks.
I took off my red blouse and jeans leaving myself in my underwear. No one would come to the Maktah beach , apparently it was haunted highly doubtful though.I looked around seeing if anyone was anywhere at the beach, then I gazed out to the sun set feeling the warm breath of the breeze hit my skin as i ran toward the beach. I moaned as the cool water surrounded me making me shiver with satisfaction.
I come here sometimes when I'm upset or in distress and these past few months you would think Ive been living here I don't know how long i just layed in the water thinking about the past present and future before it was almost completely dark but you could still see . I floated on the surface of the water letting the water calm me , making me unknown to the strangers that had the same idea as what i had but with clothes on.
I looked up to see none other then embry , Paul , and Sam go over to my left over clothes. I ducked under the water as they went to look, I started to wounder why they were here, no one comes here and i mean no one, i stayed under water hoping they would just leave but the need to put oxygen in my lungs became a great priority and i raised my head above the surface gasping for the much needed breath, as i finally re gamed my composure I looked up to where i put my clothes to find them gone. I quickly got out of the water , twisting my hair trying to get the water out so my hair would be damp , grabbed my clothes and headed back up to my car.
My hairs went up on my neck as i felt i was being watched but re gamed my composure and continued walking straight ahead hoping who ever that was watching me would either just leave or show themselves to me. I put my things in the back not bothering to put my clothes on and turned around .
"You know staring at someone from the bushes is creepy and stalkers , Didn't your mama ever teach you some manners" I yelled out , i knew it was a bold move but sometimes i couldn't help myself and my stupidity. Nothing happened for the first couple of minutes so i just turned around opening the door but got stopped by someone grabbing me and turning me around slamming my back against the door. It scared the shit out of my and i bet my face would have been priceless as i came face to face with none other then Paul fucking Meraz. I narrowed my eyes at him , mustering the best glare i could give and tried to push him off of me , but failed miserably , what does his mum feed him?
I leaned in closer whispering in my ear "You can be one of them if you want " my heart started to race at the thought of me and Paul , but i quickly masked it and glared at him turning around and getting into my car. "You know you want me Isabella " my name rolled of his tongue effortlessly as i began to swoon in my mind.I looked straight into his eyes then everything stopped including the dust particles floating into space, he was my sun , my love , my life , It felt like Paul held me to this earth, for once i felt complete and happy , i shook those feeling off of me and I glared once more at the hot native man as i drove away back to Forks.
For some reason i wanted Paul Meraz more then i have ever wanted someone in my life.
Well their you go , thats the first chapter
tell me if i should keep going
if i dont really get any reviews ill know this story sucks and im a horrible writter : (
lets hope not
ill give you all free cookies :D
narley410
peace out!