Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or settings in this fanfiction. Some of them I have created, while most are either the work of Rick Riordan, or other fans, whose permission I have obtained for use of their characters. Again, all Percy Jackson characters and settings go to R.R.

Chapter 2: Cows Can be Leashed

The calf was too busy grazing to notice that the race had started. I put in my best effort to get it to move, but it seemed insistent on eating. I had heard facts about cows, mostly how much they could eat. According to one farmer, a 1000 pound cow eats 167 pounds on a daily basis. I looked around to see if there was enough for this little guy, er, gal. The calf was just a little over half my height. And it still looked pretty thin, so maybe its intake would be less. But I couldn't really tell for sure.

But since my animal companion wasn't in the mood for avoiding perpetual madness, I decided to take the initiative and continue without it. I took only a couple of steps before I realized how big of a mistake I was about to make. This calf, however that was, was supposed to help me somehow. Leaving it behind at the beginning leg of the race wasn't the best idea. Plus, I was going up against demigods.

I had played my fair share of Mythomagic to know that demigods were the product of a unison between a god, or goddess in some cases, and a human mortal. As I recalled, Hercules was the best demigod in the game.

Do not mention that one, a voice in my head said.

I looked at the calf, but it was still grazing. It sounded like... Hera?

Yes, I am able to speak through your mind, she explained.

"Good, because I thought I was going crazy," I said sarcastically. "You know, waking up into a race I was forced to compete in... "

We discussed that already, Hera reminded me. I got the feeling that was her way of giving the me the heads up to be nicer or else. The race has started and you two haven't moved at all. Must I remind you the consequences of not meeting the mandate?

"Hey, its not my fault," I said, looking at the calf, who was still grazing. Maybe it was going to hit that 167. "It doesn't want to go anywhere, but eat."

Hera sighed inside my head. Apparently it was difficult to please the Queen of Olympus.

Mortals, we give them fire and they get burned, Hera chastised. First off, it is not an "it." Second off, you need to convince her to follow you.

"Sorry, lady, but I don't speak cow," I said. Anything other than "moo" was out of my vocabulary.

There in lies one of your advantages, Hera explained. Your deafness to beasts. You may not be able to directly commune with her, but you can still convince her to follow you.

"But how do I do that?" I asked desperately. Trying to convince a cow sounded like perpetual madness. I went over to it anyway. She ignored me, or at least prioritized the grass over me.

If I told you, I would be violating the rules of this contest, the goddess said. The calf and you are very similar in age. Hence, it is a calf. Use what interests her.

I thought about that for a moment, while I stared at the calf. An idea popped in my head. I looked inside my provided backpack and found provisions for just today. After that, I was on my own. Inside was a map and compass, as well as some rope. Perfect!

Going back to the cow, I tied the rope around its face and neck. I remember having to walk a neighbor's dog a couple of times with a makeshift leash. The rope was probably too rough for a dog, but being used on a cow was different story. In minutes, I had a cow leash.

Next, I took a couple of minutes pulling out grass from the ground. It was pretty hard to pull out, but after awhile, I got some clumps and just stuffed it into my backpack. I pulled out the map and compass and tried to make heads of where I should be going. The writing was impossible to read. It looked like some kind of foreign language, something I was also not very good at.

Ancient Greek is naturally deciphered by demigods, Hera said in my mind. So these really were the Olympians, maybe their kids would be friendlier. Being able to read it is both a gift and a curse. Half-bloods are able to understand it through what you mortals call "dyslexia."

"I don't have dyslexia," I said to myself. I had a couple of friends with dyslexia. Most of them were okay, but some of them were really weird, like paranoid, afraid that someone might get them. I put my focus back on the map and saw that the path was very linear, in the sense that I wasn't going to make any circles if I followed the correct course. Plus, there was an arrow on the map pointing up, or North.

My Dad used to be a boy scout and tried to get me to join. I flunked out of it early on, so nothing really stuck, but I remembered him teaching me how to use the compass, which was in good old English. If all those lines blotched close together meant what I thought they did, then I was headed into some kind of canyon, or gorge of some kind.

Putting the map away and using the compass' necklace string around my neck, I went back to the calf. I pulled out some grass and brought it close to its face. It took the whole handful pretty quickly with its tongue, so I had to get some more from my bag.

This time, I kept the grass just out the calf's reach. She took a step forward, yearning for the grass. This was my chance. I gently tugged on the rope, guiding it forward. The first couple of steps were a little difficult, but once we got in motion, we got going. Unfortunately, cow speed doesn't go very fast.

We kept heading North through the open field until the gorge showed up on the horizon. It was only after a couple of hours of walking did I finally see some change in the landscape. Maybe that's where the perpetual madness was coming from...

When we got to the entrance of the gorge, the sky was getting pretty dark and loud. The wind was also starting to pick up, making me a little bit cold. That, and Hera was sitting on a throne next to the gorge's entrance.

"Not making very good speed, Mr. Fenton," Hera said, looking at a miniature sun dial on her wrist. "Most of the competition is already ahead of you."

"Most of the competition doesn't have a grass-crazed cow," I retorted. Hera narrowed her eyes at me, but I was too tired to care. Luring and pulling a cow calf for awhile was pretty tiring. My heart went off to all the cowboys who did this for a living. "Who should I be looking out for?"

"All of them, really," Hera said. The calf started grazing again, ignoring the peacocks that were walking around. "But some more than others."

"Maybe a name of two?" I asked politely.

"The children of the Big Three," Hera stated. "Hades, god of the Underworld. Poseidon, lord of the seas. And my unfaithful husband, Zeus, King of Olympus. Their spawns are each individually very powerful. Naturally, they will seek to eliminate the other, but if they were to band together... "

"Not good," I summarized. So not only was I up against 12 demigods and their animal companions, but three of them are supposedly more powerful than the others. Why Hera thought I was good enough to even try to contend with these guys was beyond me.

"No, not good," Hera agreed. "Before you go in, there was something else I was supposed to tell you. If your companion is harmed, you will be automatically eliminated. The same works for your opponents."

PETA would have a field day here. But I guess I had to agree with the rules, even if I didn't have much choice.

"Now go," Hera commanded. "The day grows short and you have much ground to cover."

As before, I had to get the calf into the motion of being lured and pulled at the same time. Eventually, we made our way into the gorge. The gorge had high, steep rock walls on both sides, making it impossible to see what was above me. Every now and then I looked up to see how much daylight I had left, but it was still really dark in the gorge.

It wasn't until I met my first opponent. He was a blonde kid with sunglasses, even though it was pretty dark in the gorge. But the sunglasses weren't really my concern. It was the lizard he was holding in his hand, which he had just set down.

"Nice lizard," I said sarcastically. "You buy that at Petco?"

"That's funny," the blond guy said. "Especially since its coming from the cow boy."

"I'm from New Jersey," I said, hoping that would prove that I wasn't a cowboy.

"I'm from I-don't-care-where-you're-from," he said. First demigod I meet and he's a jerk. "The only way I'm letting you pass is if you give me your bag."

"But that's all my food for today!" I said. When Hera said demigods, I was kind of expecting Herculean kind of people. Not people my age charging your supply of food to pass in a near-hopeless scenario.

"Well then I guess I get to eat for another day," the guy said sarcastically. "Fork it over or my friend here gets a chomp of yours."

"That lizard is going to eat my cow?" I asked jokingly. "Dude, fat chance."

"Its a komodo dragon," he corrected. "A little young, but that means he has speed."

"Right," I muttered. "Look, can I just pass? I'm sure you and Scales over there can pick on the next person to walk through here. I'm not much of threat."

"Sorry buddy, but any demigod passing through here is a threat," the demigod said, standing his ground.

"But I'm not a demigod!" I said, raising my voice.

"Moo," the calf said.

"I'm not stupid, the only people in this race are half-bloods and Huntresses," the demigod stated. "And since you aren't a silver-glowing virgin girl, then you must be a half-blood."

"Look, I don't know how else to tell you, but I'm not a demigod," I said. "I just woke up here and some lady named Hera, the Queen of Olympus or something was- "

"Dude, Hera doesn't have any demigod children," he corrected me. "What kind of game are you playing?"

"LOOK, I'M NOT A DEMIGOD!" I shouted. "JUST LET ME GO ALREADY!"

Just then, I heard the light trotting of some kind of footsteps coming from behind me.

"Are you boys going to argue all day or am I going to have to have to move you two aside?" a newcomer asked. I turned around and saw a girl, glowing with a silver aura, sitting atop a fully grown deer stag, complete with an impressive set of antlers. "Oh, great, one of you."

"One of me?" the demigod asked. "More like one of you!"

Looks like I was stuck in between Petco's reptile supplier and Bambi's revenge.

Just my luck.