"witch! witch!"
no not again!thrashing in the darkness my surroundings start to materialize. im at that hell hole of a school.
"witch! witch!"
i turn around to face an angry mob of children and teachers throwing rocks and papers at me...no not this again. in class looking at my desk the scratching of verbal insults. it hurts because they don't understand. it hurt because im living this again...it hurts because... im so angry! feeling myself erupt with madness exploding outward it can no longer be held in. dead bodies scorched!
jumping out of bed. clutching my chest...that nightmare again. i thought i escaped that but apparently i cant run from my brain. i climb out of bed to greet an ice cold floor and pad over to the bathroom to take a long clothed and heading downstairs to greet my aunt Bianca, also known as . the temperature has to have dropped 10 degrees on the way down. shivering i clutch my arms. noting my arrival my aunt, sitting at the table reading the newspaper looks up at me.
"i made you pancakes." she looks at my shivering arms."put on a sweater before you go into hypothermia."
rolling my eyes i sit at the table. i pick up my fork with shaking hands and attempt to eat the delicious heap that awaits me in its engulfing warmth. my hunger and determination to eat the fluffiness distracts me from the fact that im oblivious to the fact that my free hand has clutched the table so hard a piece of it has come off into my aunt gets up and walks around the table to me.
"tarren"
i look up at her with a mouthful of pancakes. she makes a pointed look at my hand. i drop the chunk of table it hits the floor with a loud thunk.
turning me in her direction staring intently in my eyes with worry that i can feel wash me from head to toe. thats when i feel the tear roll down my cheek. the sound of a drowning cat escapes my throat and i collapse into her arms.
"the dreams...they're back" i sob violently into her shoulder
as she soothes me and tells me its OK whispering in my ear. that im far away from that wretched silent hill only makes me sob harder because although im physically away it will always share a piece of my mentality. it is who i am. why i am here is my aunts voice that brings me back from my mental torment.
"do you remember anything from the dream?" she asks me this because in the past the dream always rattles me from sleep but avoids my memory. but not this time. i nod my head in response because my throat is too constricted to make any humane sounds.
she pulls me out of the safety of her shoulder. the cold air welcomes my face with harsh licks over the wet parts of my at me contently with those lioness eyes of hers i look away first.
"you have to tell me what you saw tarren." she says clutching my shoulders
her vice like grip makes me terrified. i want to fall to pieces, i want to barf my soul and guts out, i want to run under my bed and cry clutching my teddy bear as if its my life she wont let me go until she hears my voice i get annoyed. doesn't she understand? i lived it! i dream it! my only escape is my consciousness. when im awake why must i bring it up and relive the moments?
shrugging her hands of i wipe my face. "fine." i growl which comes out sounding like a robot more than human words.
i walk over to the living room. its not very big, but not too small. i sit on the couch in the corner putting as much space between me and her. i don't like to be mad at her. actually i hate to be mad at her shes all ive got anything can happen to take her away from me and make me regret every unspoken moment between us.
silence carries on a few more seconds. clearing her throat my aunt begins to speak in a low urgent tone.
"i know you don't want to discuss it" damn straight i don't."but for your sake tarren please i need to know."
now the look she gives me makes me want to tell her everything. my aunt is all about expression. when they say 'if looks can kill' they're talking about her. she can make you feel like shes been through the most secretive part of your being. i can stay mad at here forever but i don't im going to have to tell her eventually.
i lean back into the couch looking up at the ceiling wishing this moment didn't have to come for a thousand more years.
"look tarren we-" my aunt starts but i interrupt her.
"silent hill" i can feel her eyes burning a hole through my head waiting for an explanation. i take a deep breathe.
"i was there in class...standing in the middle of the room while everyone called me a witch. i remember feeling so sad. it ate me up inside but then i saw they're stupid crosses and whispers of me being a devil child. the scribbling on my desk." i feel the anger boiling inside me again.i felt this way in the dream.
"and something happened to me...to them too. i did something i cant really remember."
"try and remember" i feel my aunts reassuring hand on my clenching fist. i squeeze my eyes shut and try to remember then it hits me like a kick in the stomach.
"i killed them..." i whisper" i don't know how but i remember the burnt bodies and i knew it was my fault..."
i look at my aunts unflinching gaze and see no judgement just sadness.
"it felt so real!" i exclaim realizing why im feeling this way "it felt like it happened, i know it was a dream and all but it just keeps happening!"
my aunt curious and not pushing asks " this place you called it something"
suddenly suspicion conquers my emotions. there's a telltale sign of guilt behind her sadness.i squint my eyes at her and answer.
" ." i say monitoring her reaction. she holds my gaze but then looks away.
"you know something." i point out
sighing she grasps my hands.
"tarren there's somethings that you should know that i haven't told you."
confusion moves into the previous tenants place.
"what you saw in that dream...was no ordinary dream...it was a flashback...what you saw actually happened"
my jaw drops. "oh come on aunt Bianca." but my playful tone ceases at her seriousness.
"what is going on?"i demand i yell suddenly feeling like the place where my heart is sucking the life force out of me.
"tarren listen to me i know this is confusing-"
"try unbelievable as a term more fit!" i snap "what are you talking about if that actually happened how come i cant remember it?"
"its not so easy to explain" she says looking uneasy
"ive got time." i say laying back looking at the ceiling.
"ok ...well that place silent hill is real you were born and raised there it was a small secluded town... as soon as you were born there was a shift in the town...an uneasiness. that went away after a few years but i should have taken that as a sign but your mom" she'd never spoken about my mom so willingly before" argued that we'd finally found a you started 3rd grade i felt the uneasiness again. this time much stronger. your mother got a phone call home from the school saying you were talking to animals and the plants. while the other kids played with one another you stayed isolated with nature youre teacher worried about youre mental health reported this to the principal where the whole thing blew out of proportion. they were determined to make you as god deemed fit it was a very strict religious school. they put you in a room with other girls and encouraged you to socialize with them but to no avail. they tried countless times until they made a break. through there was a plant placed on the windowsill. you gravitated towards it automatically. one of the observers coaxed one of your classmates to talk to you but you payed no one of them went into the room and tried to take the plant from you. in the process they ended up getting burned."
a questioning look from me pushed her to continue.
"you burned them with your bare hands." holding my hands she gave a small sad smile "i was so proud of you but yet scared of what they would do to you because you were different"
"unable to come up with an explanation for the 3rd degree burns they dubbed you a child from hell. soon word spread and the whole town tormented us but you more than anyone else. thats when they pushed you to your breaking point in the classroom and that happened."
what the hell? i say to myself. is she serious?
"i know this is alot to take in." she starts
"why dont i remember any of this?" i interrupt.
"because i made you forget..." she looks down shamefully." you woke up countless late nights screaming because of it and the only way to make you feel better was to make you forget."
im trembling with explainable is she saying this? if this is true how did she make me forget? what is the point of telling me this?
"how?" i ask moving away from her.
"well thats the hard part...to put it simply we're witches"
my look of disbelief must make her want to prove to me what she is. she takes her hands soon they're glowing a golden light from her palms.
"see? this is who you are tarren."
terrified. is how i feel ive been living with this lady and i had not a clue as to who she really is. RUN. is my first instinct. taking two steps backward. i spin on my heels and dash for the door. i hear her calling my name but i dont stop. i run i dont know where to but i keep going. me? a witch? how could it be? and that light from her hands. and my mom. i have so many more questions .tears spill down my face. i run until my legs scream no more. i slow down and walk allowing my legs to get a break.
leaning against a tree i take in my surroundings. im in a slight dense forest where theres a fog. i suddenly realize my idiotic am i? i look up at the sky. its night time and theres a full moon. how long has it been? how long was i running for? now is not the time to ask myself questions im a sitting duck here in these woods. i begin walking and then i hear the snap of a twig.